Tag Archives: Damage


22 Jul

People are complicated. There are endless expressions, ideas, emotions and personal experiences that color our behaviors and how we act and react to the world around us. No two people are exactly the same. We all have our own ideas about life and chart our own courses, making individual decisions that take us to various destinations and bring endless results. Two people can have the same exact experience and yet come away with entirely different perspectives. We may feel things intensely or be able to brush off what happens with little thought. We’re all different, and those differences bring great depth and richness to the world, but can also cause complications. If we’re not confident and disagree with those around us, we may hold our feelings in, and try to keep a low profile in an effort to prevent conflict or intense disagreement. That might work, but pretending we’re fine when we’re not, or going along with something we believe is wrong will eventually work against us. It’s like having clogged gutters on a house. They look fine from the outside and as long as the weather is nice there are no problems. But when a storm comes and the rain is intense, the water will not flow away and protect the house from flooding. Instead, it will build up and splash over the sides, soak the wood nearby and may cause great permanent damage. The same is true if we hold in how we really feel. We may look fine on the outside, but keeping our real thoughts to ourselves may cause us great stress and inner turmoil as we try to get through a difficult situation. It’s hard to feel good when we’re not being our true selves. Being open and allowing our honest opinions to flow will enable open communication and allow for greater understanding. We are entitled to our own opinions even if they’re different from those around us. We can be confident in expressing ourselves truthfully and making choices that reflect our own personal standards. Our input is important and the whole world is better because we are here.

It’s always easier to navigate through decisions if everyone is on the same page. When everyone agrees on the way forward, the road will be smoother than if there is dissent. When there is disagreement, the process may take longer and be more complex, but every idea has value. The simplest answer isn’t always the best in the long run, and a paved road will not always lead to the destinations we desire most. Allowing everyone to give their full and honest opinions about the choices ahead will open new doors and allow for alternative interpretations of every situation, shining a light on a completely new perspective.

Families and traditions are powerful influences in our lives. If we want to do something different from the way things have always been done in the past, we may face serious resistance and opposition. We may be pressured to just go along even if we disagree. We can always do anything we like, but pretending to be something we aren’t is like dealing with clogged gutters. Our true feelings may be held back for a time, but eventually we’ll need to express ourselves and be honest about who we are and what we want. Every expression has value and our contributions, even if different, are important. There is great satisfaction and happiness in being true to ourselves and living our lives openly and confidently.

Today if you don’t agree with what’s going on around you, speak up. Your voice is important and your feelings are worthwhile. Stand tall and show us who you are. You bring great richness and depth to the world and your contributions count. Be confident and honest. You are amazing and powerful. There is nobody like you in all of creation and nobody else can give the gifts you have to offer. You are precious and priceless, and we’re all blessed because you are here.

Make it So

15 Jul

There are times in everyone’s life when we have to face things that are uncomfortable or when unplanned difficult developments occur.  It can be hard to adjust to changes when we’ve previously determined how our plans should go and they don’t comply.  During times like those if we face the truth of the situation we often must modify our path going forward.  Things didn’t work out like we planned so we have to turn a little and try again.  Facing reality is important if we want to live an honest life, but if it seems too difficult to face what’s happening or make modifications, we do have another option – we could lie.  We could lie to ourselves and those around us and pretend things are different than they really are.  It’s never wise to be dishonest and the truth eventually catches up us but we may convince ourselves it’s a possible option until things change.  If we are determined enough to make the situation appear to be different than it is, we may believe if we lie enough we could actually change it.  Of course that’s not possible but times of desperation may cloud our judgment and we may decide to try.  We may convince ourselves we can make it so just because we say it’s so.

We all have situations we feel we could never face.  We may believe we could never survive the death of a close loved one, the betrayal of a dear friend, or the loss of something we cherish.  But there really is nothing that will come to us in our lives we cannot navigate.  There may be very painful moments, we may question our ability to continue on, and we may struggle mightily if the event is seriously terrible but we can get through anything in time.  We can face the truth of any situation and we can find a way to successfully go forward.  We don’t have to lie to ourselves or others.  We are strong enough to handle anything that happens.

Lying is a pernicious and destructive behavior.  If we lie once and find it makes our lives easier or gets us something we desire, it will be easy to lie again.  Over time if we make it a continual habit and choose it whenever things become uncomfortable, it will become easier and easier.  It may become second nature and after a time we may not even give it a second thought.  Once established, lying is a desperate habit that is hard to break.  If we allow ourselves to make it an acceptable part of our lives, when we decide to stop it will take real determination to become honest again.  The damage we do when we lie not only affects us personally but can destroy our relationships.  It’s nearly impossible to have a healthy and strong relationship with a liar.  They can’t be trusted and there is no way to know when or if they are ever truthful.  The price for lying can be steep and bring long lasting complications.  The best we can do if we are uncomfortable with anything is to face it completely and openly.  We are capable of seeing things as they really are, accepting them, and navigating them honestly.  Lying is cowardly.  We are not cowards and have sufficient courage to face whatever comes to us.

Today if you’re struggling with something in your life and think lying about it may bring you some relief, remember there is nothing too difficult or strong for you to manage.  You can be completely honest with yourself and those around you no matter what you’re facing.  Face the situation openly and tell the complete truth.  Your integrity is important and you will never regret honoring it.