Tag Archives: Boundary

The Other Side

25 Mar

There are all kinds of things that can happen as we go through our days. We may be surprised by a turn of events that stops us in our tracks, or discover upon reaching a goal that things aren’t exactly as we thought. We never know what lies ahead and even when we plan carefully, something may come out of left field that knocks us off our game. Lots of things can change and without warning, the road may turn and take us somewhere we never intended to go. We can chart our course ahead but when we’re on one side of the coin it’s impossible to see the other. Life is filled with possibilities and change is constant. Just when we’re sure we know what to expect everything may shift and we may suddenly find ourselves in foreign territory. It may be unsettling or confusing at first, but we are capable of adjusting and managing any changes that come. There isn’t only one road to any destination and if there’s a detour ahead or the door we need to walk through is blocked, we can find another way forward. Keeping our focus on the ultimate goal will help us handle any complications along the way. The road may get rocky and we may get lost momentarily but we are intelligent and wise and will find success. We can go anywhere and do anything. We have overcome many obstacles already and have the skills and insight we need to move forward. The whole world is there for us and the possibilities are endless. We can be confident in our ability to succeed and find our way.

We’re in control of our lives and can design them any way we like. We can keep them small and stay within close boundaries where we feel comfortable and safe. It’s easy to maintain a routine where we know all the players and what to expect. Repeating the same patterns may give us comfort but can never bring something new that will challenge and engage us. We can trust ourselves to stretch beyond what is easy and try for something more. We have so much to offer and are capable of accomplishing great things. Reaching beyond what we know will bring us great confidence and increase our understanding of ourselves and the world around us.

We never know what we’re capable of until our limits are tested. We may think there is something we could never do but then in a great time of need discover we can accomplish it. We are capable of far more than we think we are. We’re strong and have all the courage we need to face anything. Our resilience and intelligence will help us move forward and nothing is beyond our reach. We can accomplish any goal we desire. We can set our sights as high as we like and then find success. Nothing is too difficult or complicated for us to figure out and we can make all our dreams come true.

Today if the road you’ve been on has turned and you aren’t sure you can find your way, trust yourself. The other side is already there waiting for you. You have everything you need to find the way forward. Be determined and have confidence. You know what you want and you will succeed. Keep moving forward. All your dreams are possible and you are strong enough and wise enough to reach them, and make them come true.

Birds of a Feather

14 Jul

We associate with all kinds of people throughout our lives. Some are family, some are friends, some are lovers, some are acquaintances, and some may even be enemies. Except for family situations or times when we must associate with someone because of a job or other activity, we may choose with whom we spend our time. It’s wise to think about the behaviors and choices of those we share our lives with. We all influence the world in many ways and personal influence can be very powerful. If we frequently associate with someone whose choices are negative, they may, over time, become a detrimental influence in our lives. There is an old saying, “Birds of a feather flock together.” It obviously means people who share the same types of preferences and choices tend to spend time together. It’s fun to share our time with others who enjoy our company and like the same things we do. But if we are in relationships with someone who is making bad choices, or whose behavior is destructive and hurtful, and we spend a lot of time with them, we may get hurt. We are in control of our lives but repeated exposure to negative behavior over time may affect us. We deserve to be happy and live with the least amount of complication. We can associate with whomever we choose, but it’s wise to be careful about their influence over us.

Relationships are important and we all want strong, healthy, and happy ones. If we have someone in our lives who belittles us, ridicules us or makes us feel small or unworthy, their comments and actions may have a negative impact on us. If we’ve been in the relationship for a long time it may be hard to find a way out. But we are important and we deserve to be treated well. If we’re struggling with a family member we value but who treats us this way, we can limit our time with them. We don’t have to sever all our ties but we can lessen our exposure. We don’t have to do anything that is uncomfortable for us and we can take care of ourselves and minimize offensive interactions. We can determine how much time negative influences may have in our lives, and we can limit it so we’re comfortable and do what’s best for us.

If we have friends who make decisions and choices we find difficult, we don’t have to participate. We never have to go along just because someone wants us to, and we always have the right to say no. We can be polite and gracious, but if we’re uncomfortable with any situation we can opt out. We don’t have to go anywhere we don’t want to go, or do anything we don’t want to do. Our lives are ours to design and direct. If we have friends who do things that make us uncomfortable, we can tell them how we feel and explain our boundaries. If they can accept our choices, we may continue the relationship. If they can’t accept them, we may do other things. We can change anything we need to ensure we’re happy with what we’re doing and where we’re going.

Today if you’re in a situation that is making you uncomfortable, if someone near you is including you in a decision that doesn’t feel right or is criticizing you and making you feel bad, you may step away. You deserve the life that makes you happiest. You know what feels right. Determine what works for you and follow that. You deserve every blessing. Today let yourself have them.

Out of Bounds

4 Nov

Sometimes in our relationships with others, we discuss or share things that are personal. We tell them very private thoughts about certain areas of our lives, or talk about our hopes and dreams with them. When we do, unless we say it’s okay to share our comments, we may expect them to keep them to themselves. But sometimes, those close to us tell others what we’ve said and it makes us uncomfortable. If it’s something very private, it may hurt us that they told someone else. If we share something confidential and ask that it not be repeated, and then discover others have been told, it’s a very personal betrayal. It can be embarrassing and painful to learn that our private thoughts have been tossed around. Those who betray our trust sometimes think telling others is okay, but if we’ve asked them to keep it private, their thoughts mean little.  It’s appropriate to trust a boundary with a friend. If that trust isn’t honored, it can be very hurtful.

There are some people who have no filters. They repeat everything they hear to everyone they know. They don’t believe there should be any walls around information, and they often don’t care what others think. They may give their word to protect what they’ve heard, but then are unable to keep it. When we have someone like that close to us, it can be devastating to discover our inner most thoughts and feelings have been broadcast. We can feel humiliated and exposed. Everyone has the right to make any decision they like, but if those decisions hurt us, we need to evaluate our relationship with them. If they can’t be trusted to keep our confidence, we must protect it.

Some people don’t believe it makes any difference if everyone knows our private thoughts, and if we cherish our privacy and hold it dear, we need to protect ourselves from sharing with them. If they are someone close to us, and we love them, that can be difficult. We may forget their inability to hold our comments to themselves and in times of distress, open up to them. Boundaries are important and we are the only ones who can protect our own. If we share and are betrayed, it hurts. We must define who can and who can’t be trusted with our private thoughts. Once we understand who they are, and accept that even those who love us may not be trustworthy with our boundaries, we can make wiser decisions. Protecting our privacy is our responsibility. We can define our boundaries any way we choose, and we can do whatever is needed to protect them.

Today if you’ve been exposed in ways that have hurt you, and if your boundaries have been betrayed, you can protect yourself going forward. You can have close relationships with others who don’t understand your boundaries and still ensure your privacy by guarding what you share. Understand the limits of the people close to you, and you will be comfortable going forward. Your boundaries are sacred and should be honored. You are entitled to them, and you may protect them.