Archive | December, 2015

Showing Up

17 Dec

Happy days come to us all. Things go well, we’re healthy, our loved ones are doing great, and we feel good. We like our neighbors, enjoy our jobs, and have plenty of relaxation and fun.  When everything is going well and life seems easy, we don’t have to do much to get through our days. They sail by and we feel content, and don’t have to draw on much within ourselves. We’re enjoying our lives, but we aren’t really learning much, which at the time is just fine with us. However, those times never last and when they change into more difficult periods, life becomes more challenging and it’s harder to process what we’re going through. When hard times come, as they inevitably will, we have to rely on ourselves to find courage and strength. Thankfully, both show up when we need them. We have everything we need to face anything that comes to us. Courage and strength wait in the wings when things are going well, and rise to the top just as we need them.

We can trust ourselves to find answers and get through any trial or difficulty we face. No matter how old we are, chances are we’ve faced hurtles before and surmounted them. We’ve figured out difficult puzzles and complex situations already so when they come again in their endless variations, we know we can face them. Of course, nobody wants to go through difficult times, and we may think we want our lives to be an endless picnic of fun without the ants. But life isn’t like that, and it’s in the trials where we learn to be brave and in the fire where we learn to be strong. Our courage is honed through practice, and our ability to process and untangle problems comes with experience.  Every single bump brings with it a blessing. As we go through them, figure them out, and conquer them, we get closer to the person we most want to be. We burn off a little more superficial shell, and get down to who we really are deep inside.

It takes faith to believe we can overcome obstacles that come to us, especially if they are very painful. We will experience many difficult things in our lives – death, sadness, loss, hurt, and shame to name a few. Although we don’t enjoy the hard times, they teach us the most, and on the other side of them we are deeper and more enriched than we were before they began. And we have everything we need to face them. Our courage, our stamina, our determination and our wisdom will rise the moment we need them. They are always there ready to assist, and with them we can conquer anything. Even in the most difficult moments, we can continue to go forward. Nothing lasts forever and as each problem untangles itself, as we heal from the loss, we begin to rebuild into someone stronger and more capable because of what we’ve overcome – again. This life is a continual round of lessons to be learned. We can learn them all and we can defeat any adversity. There is nothing we can’t do.

Today if you’re facing something very difficult and painful, remember you have everything you need to prevail. You have sufficient courage and wisdom to find resolution and move forward. There isn’t anything that is too hard for you. Everything you need is there for you already. Draw on it, pull from it, and let it rise. You will overcome this. It’s just one more step.

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Bring It

16 Dec

There are times when we may find ourselves at odds with someone else. They may have ideas about what we should be doing that conflict with our decisions, or want us to agree to something we don’t feel we can. Sometimes they may even try to force our hands by blocking us or in some way try to fence us in. It’s very uncomfortable and difficult to remain in control when these situations arise. We may feel angry or we may want to run the other way to escape the tension. But if we take some time to process what’s happening and see it more objectively, often we find that all we’re facing is a difference of opinion. We are disagreeing. It may be a heated exchange and our boundaries may be sorely invaded. We might feel threatened or in some other way intensely uncomfortable. Whatever the situation, we can manage it if we back away from the emotion and try to see it for what it is. That isn’t easy when we feel personally attacked, but it’s not impossible. If we step outside ourselves for a moment and just look at the facts, the situation will become more manageable and we’ll be able to find a way through.

We are capable of figuring out any problem we face if we take the time to look at it objectively and openly. When our feelings are involved we may be overcome with emotion and unable to think. We’re focused on our extreme disappointment or anger or sadness or whatever we’re struggling with. But we can set that aside for a moment. Setting the emotion aside does not diminish it and we can more fully understand the facts of the situation and more clearly see an answer. After we’ve been through a difficult time and are on the other side, after the dust has cleared and we’ve settled down, because we are no longer so intensely involved we often see how we could have managed better. Emotions are necessary and they are important, but sometimes if we want to find our way, we need to step away from them for a time. We can do that and when we do, we may find what we’re looking for.

We are in control of ourselves. No matter who influences us or how pervasive that influence is, what we decide to do is our decision. We can allow ourselves to get angry when someone offends us or we can find a way to process the problem more effectively. Getting angry is a reaction. Thinking about the situation first is a choice. If we choose to think instead of react oftentimes we will prevent the situation from escalating and gain control. Being in control of any situation allows us to make better decisions. And making better decisions is always desirable.  If we choose to be in control, it doesn’t matter what comes to us – we will prevail.  Life can “bring it,” whatever that may be, and we can find success going forward.

Today if you find yourself in a situation that fires up your emotions, if you are angry or hurt, upset or disappointed, take a moment to step back from your feelings and see the situation objectively. Address the problem as it is, and choose what is right calmly and objectively. You will diffuse the issue and you’ll be in control. You have everything you need to prevail. You are wise and capable. Today show that to everyone involved.

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What Lies Within

15 Dec

As we go through our lives we experience many things. Some are good, some are joyful, some are sad, and some may be destructive. We are an accumulation of all the experiences we have, good or bad, and they color our behavior and perspectives going forward. Emerson said, “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” This is a true statement. Although the experiences we’ve already had certainly affect who we are, and the experiences yet to come will impact us in some way, they are never more powerful than who we are inside. We have everything we need to comprehend and process any experience that comes to us, and we have the courage to overcome any obstacle. We have more strength and nobility inside ourselves than we comprehend and they come forward as we need them. What we carry inside us, the courage and honor we hold, is stronger and more powerful than anything that happens to us. What lies within is us can carry us through anything.

When we have bad experiences, when we are hurt, betrayed, or in any way distressed or offended, although we overcome them in time, we carry the scars with us going forward. Sometimes those scars affect our ability to be happy for a time, or prevent us from trusting others. Sometimes they teach us valuable lessons we can draw on later, and sometimes if they are strong enough, they can be crippling. How we handle them determines how we grow as we continue on. If we forget how strong we are inside, if we believe we cannot handle the disappointment and it will never heal, we could get stuck in misery. It’s important to understand there is nothing we will face that we cannot manage. There is nothing that will overcome us if we trust ourselves and draw on the immense reserves of strength we have inside. We can do anything. We can conquer whatever has happened, no matter how trying or difficult it may be.

Nobody knows what our futures will bring. We all hope for the best and plan for success but sometimes things go awry and we crash and burn. But crashing and burning just means we get to start over on a new road. The old path is gone, the old goal is over, and we can begin again to go forward in a new direction. We never reach the end until death arrives. Until then, we have endless opportunities for success every single day. We have everything we need already there inside us to figure things out. What comes to us is small compared to what we can do. We are powerful and strong, and we are invincible. If we remember that, no matter what we face, we will prevail.

Today remember that what lies within you is great. You are capable, noble, and strong. You have everything you need to go forward with joy and success. There isn’t anything you can’t do. You have more courage and strength inside you than you need. You can do anything. Be brave. You will succeed and you will be happy.

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Tickling Joy

14 Dec

Today as I was returning to my car at the supermarket after shopping, there was an elderly gentleman pushing a cart in front of me. As soon as we got across the walkway, he gave his cart a big push and hopped onto the back to ride it to his car. It was delightful and enchanting to see him with a big smile on his face, riding his cart as though he were a young boy enjoying himself. I was so amused I laughed out loud and wondered when the last time was that I enjoyed myself so thoroughly. Sure I have fun with my friends, and I do things I enjoy, but I could not remember the last time I really tickled my joy in such a free and uninhibited way. Just like everyone else, I have responsibilities to take care of, and they have a way of taking over. Seeing that man riding the grocery cart made me want more joy in my life. I want more feelings of pure enjoyment – just like he had. Our lives flash by in an instant. The years go round so fast, and before we know it they are gone. If we don’t grab hold and create the joyful moments when we can, the chance flies by. But if we are aware, we can find those moments and make the most of them.

Tickling joy takes a little thought. There are countless opportunities for us to open up and see things from a different perspective. When it’s raining outside we can bemoan the slow traffic, and the mud on our shoes, or we can watch it fall on the leaves feeding the trees, and imagine the flowers drinking it in greedily. We can smile remembering when we used to play in the rain, and how much fun it was to splash in the puddles. When we have a lot to get done and feel pressed for time we can get stressed and worry that we won’t finish, or we could make it a contest to see how much we can get done and promise ourselves a special treat if we accomplish half of the things on our list. And then when we get half of them done, we can take a little break to enjoy that treat. We can turn a chore into fun just by thinking about it a little differently. It’s all a matter of perspective. If we open our thoughts up to different ways of seeing things, we can bring more joy into our lives.

Sharing joy with others is a precious gift. Many of us are overwhelmed and feel unappreciated. If we took just a moment to smile at someone else, and share something we enjoy with them, their spirits could be lifted and they may feel more joy. We can be the gift that turns someone else’s day around. We can be the one bright spot that tickles them. All we have to do is share ourselves and some happy thought. It doesn’t take much but it can mean a great deal to those receiving it. We all impact those around us every day. It’s up to us to make sure the impact we make is positive, joyful, and happy. Of course, we’ll have down days when things go wrong, and we don’t feel our best, but even in those times, we can share a smile. Tickling joy and making it shine is a small thing but the rewards are great.

Today remember there is joy all around you. You can create it in any situation you face. Make the best of your day and bring light into it at every turn. Share that light with those around you. You have so much to give. It’s fun to laugh, it’s wonderful to feel happy, and no matter what happens today, you can find joy. When you find it, share it with those around you. Be the one who brings the light. You already have it inside you. You really are amazing.

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Finding Fault

12 Dec

We all make judgments in our lives. We decide what we think is right and wrong, and what is true or false. We base our judgments on our personal paradigms and values, and what we perceive as facts. We make judgments about situations and decisions, but we also include people in those judgments even when we don’t have all the facts. And we never have all the facts when others are involved. Unless we are the ones in the situation we’re judging, chances are good our speculation will be erroneous in some way. Judging and comparing are natural human responses to life. We evaluate each situation before we go forward. But loving one another and having compassion for each other doesn’t involve judging. When we love and care we can do it unconditionally. We can love each another even if we’re very different, even if we don’t understand decisions that have been made, and even if we are annoyed. Love and compassion are the highest emotions we can express, and take precedence over everything else. We can forget that when someone does something hurtful, or stupid, or whatever else we think applies. Love and compassion are higher, and they need to be honored as such.

People make mistakes. Some of us make more than others, and sometimes we falter in a huge way. We impact others with our decisions, and sometimes we hurt them badly. Nobody is perfect, and even if we’re trying hard to do what’s right, we may stumble. Having the unconditional support and love of others around us when we fall is priceless. We already know we’ve screwed up, we already know we were wrong, and we really don’t need someone else pointing it out and reminding us. But everyone does that, we all criticize sometimes when things go wrong, and all it really accomplishes is to make those involved feel worse. If we were more compassionate, if we treated others the way we would like them to treat us in the same situation, it would go a long way toward finding resolution. We could talk about it, listen openly, express our feelings, and then let it go.

What if someone makes a very bad decision that really damages us? What if we’re so angry we feel like we want to crush them? Those situations happen and when they do it’s very difficult to think before we act. But we need to stop and consider what we’ll gain afterward. If we make them feel as bad as they made us feel, where will that take us? Will it make things better or worse? If we take a moment to think about the big picture and where we want to be, if we ponder where we want the relationship to go before we act, we have a better chance of making things better. Some decisions are so egregious they destroy relationships completely. When that happens, anger and outrage will do nothing to help. But if there is a bad decision that isn’t so far reaching and we want to preserve our relationship, we can remember our love and compassion for the other person is higher than our anger and disappointment. We don’t have to condone bad behavior, but adding ours to it won’t solve anything. We can reach higher, and go forward with confidence.

Today if you’ve been judging those around you and making decisions about their behavior, try to see things from a wider perspective. If you love and accept them as they are, your relationships will be stronger and more fulfilling. Show them your heart, share your concern for them and they will draw closer to you. Having close, strong relationships makes our lives better. Enhance yours by building them today.

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