Archive | September, 2015

Options

20 Sep

Nobody is good at everything. We all do some things well, some things very well, and there are some things we struggle with. They say where there’s a will there’s a way, and often that applies, but there are some gifts we just don’t possess. Perhaps we always wanted to be a ballet dancer but our body can’t manage the rigorous training demands. Maybe we want to be a great singer but we are tone deaf. We have many dreams we hope to achieve, and it’s hard to admit defeat when we want to accomplish something, and can’t make it happen. We can’t always get what we want, and some things will elude us despite our desires and efforts. When that happens it’s important to remember we aren’t failures. It’s impossible to do everything, and although we may not succeed at one thing, we are good at many other things.

Sometimes when we set our sights on a new and lofty goal, we get support from those around us, and sometimes we don’t. There are plenty of people who will try to discourage us no matter what we’re aiming for. Their motivations are theirs and have nothing to do with our decisions. We can try to do anything we choose to and we don’t need the approval of others to go forward. When we have encouragement it makes the task easier as we learn, and if we falter, it’s comforting to have someone in our corner cheering us on. If we succeed, they will rejoice with us. We’ll be happy and feel confident. But sometimes success isn’t possible. When that happens, even if we’re unhappy, we can still feel confident because we tried. We dared to to go after something we wanted. We gave it our all.  And we should cherish that.

Disappointment comes in many ways. It can be insignificant, or it can be devastating. When we are seriously upset over a crushing disappointment, it’s hard to look forward. What we hoped for, and what we wanted so badly, is out of our reach. If we don’t have a choice we must let it go. It can feel like we’re losing something important, and it can hurt badly. But we always have options. There are countless opportunities in life, and although a serious setback is painful, we can overcome it and focus on something new. The important thing is to try. We never know how far we can go if we never stretch to see what’s possible. Talking about what we want is only the first step. Trying to accomplish it, even if we fail, brings us strength, understanding, and a greater sense of confidence.

Today if you’re trying to do something new, do the best you can to make it work. No matter what happens, you’ll feel confident and strong. Reach for the stars. Go forward with courage.  Reaching will bring you blessings. You’ll learn more about yourself, and you’ll be happy knowing you did the best you could.

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Looking Up

19 Sep

We go through trying times in life and sometimes when they stack one on the other, or the trial is extreme we can feel overwhelmed, and down and out. We may be so discouraged we can’t see the end of the trouble and become completely disheartened. At times like these we can feel like we’ve hit bottom. There is no hope left, and we feel used up and done. We’re sure we’ll fail, but then something happens unexpectedly that gives us a bounce. Something actually goes right and we are buoyed up once again. We begin to believe things may improve. We begin to look up. We start to see the end of the tunnel and the light beaming in. The skies clear, and we realize all is not lost after all.

Nothing is permanent in life. Everything changes continually. The only real guarantee we have is that whatever we’re going through now will change. But when we’re daunted and feel hopeless, we may forget that. It can seem like the trouble will never end, and if we believe that, it’s hard to go on. But nothing we face will last forever. No matter how bad it gets, no matter how hard it is to face, it’s going to change. Eventually we will solve the problem or it will work itself out. If we can keep that in our minds when we feel down and out, it will help restore our hope and give us the courage to go forward.

When we’re struggling and something good happens it can be hard to trust it. We may be suspicious that it’s not really a blessing but rather a fluke that fools us. But along with trouble, we all experience blessings as well. When they come, we should embrace them and bask in all the joy they bring. Life can bring us down but it can also lift us up. When the up times come, when things go well, when we see the sunshine we should take in as much as we can. The good experiences give us resilience for the times when the bottom falls out. If we focus on the lift we’ll be stronger in times of trial knowing we have the reserves to carry us through.

Today if you feel hopeless, if you’re discouraged and can’t see how to move forward, try to remember the other times you’ve overcome difficult obstacles. Remember the moments when you’ve succeeded and relive the experience again. You will gain strength and courage as you go through this trial. You have everything you need to get through it. You will prevail. You have come so far. Hold on. There is sunshine just around the next bend.

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Learning to Tuck

18 Sep

We have a lot on our minds every day.  When complications arise, we have even more to address, and it can be overwhelming.  Since we can’t do everything at once, it’s sometimes hard to address everything right away.  We may need to prioritize what we can handle at the moment, and tuck the other issues away until later.  There is sometimes the feeling that we have to do everything right away, or we aren’t doing enough, but that isn’t true.  It is proactive to manage our responsibilities and issues by taking care of the most important things now, and waiting to address the others until we have the appropriate time to manage them.  We are in charge of our lives, and we know what we can manage.  It’s wise to tuck the things that can wait aside until later.

What is the most important thing we must accomplish today?  If we think about that each morning before we start, and identify what we most need to get done, we are more likely to accomplish it.  In the busy responsibilities of daily life, our time can get away from us.  We may get carried away by additional tasks we hadn’t planned on, sometimes things go wrong that hold us up, and there may be complications caused by others.  Add to those the unexpected things that seem to always come up, and our days can get away from us.  If we just take things as they come, there’s a possibility we won’t complete what we need to, and feel disappointed at the end of the day.  But if we have identified what is most important for the day, we can focus on accomplishing it and have a better chance of success.

Tucking things away that can be put aside for a while is a useful tool, but we must ensure we actually go back and address them.  Some people make lists to remind them of things they need to do, some people put reminders in their smart phones or computer, and some people put sticky reminders out where they will see them.  If we are lucky enough to have an assistant, they may remind us of our pending tasks.  Whatever works most easily for us is what we should use.  Tucking things away doesn’t mean forgetting about them.  It just means delaying them for a time.  When we have the time, we need to address them and make sure we are timely in taking care of them.  If we do that, we’ll feel in control of our lives, and happy with our success.

Today if you are overwhelmed with things that need to be done, take a moment and determine what is the most important thing on the list.  Focus on that and tuck the other things away for a time.  You can accomplish a lot if you prioritize your concerns and take each as you can.  You are capable of managing your time and getting all your important tasks completed.  Use wisdom and remember Rome wasn’t built in a day.  There isn’t anything you can’t do.  Plan your work, and then work your plan.  You’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish.

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Power of Soft

17 Sep

When we have disagreements with others, we can choose to try and keep the conversation calm or we can escalate it. If we’re angry and feel we’re being attacked, we may decide we don’t care and jump in with both feet. It’s easy to react instead of respond calmly. If we’re being yelled at, and we yell back generally things will get worse. And when we’re angry sometimes we don’t care if things worsen. But if our relationship is important to us, we might consider going another way. If we do something to deescalate the issue, we have a better chance of reaching resolution without causing more problems. It is said that a soft voice turns away anger, and that’s often true. When people are angry and upset, they tend to raise their voices. If we return their loud statements with a soft response it changes the dynamic of the exchange. It will be unexpected, and often they will lower their voice as well. Even if they aren’t yelling but are saying unfavorable and contentious things, responding with a soft voice will often keep the situation from intensifying.

Some people are loud by nature. They say things with determination and conviction. They are neither demure nor reserved, and sometimes because of the volume of their voices we may misinterpret their interactions with us. A loud voice doesn’t always mean there is a problem. But if there is an issue, responding with a soft voice when talking to them will get their attention. And when we get their attention, we have the opportunity to resolve any issue more effectively. When we respond quietly in times of conflict, people lean in, and listen. It stops even the most determined and angry, and changes the tone of the interaction.

When we’re angry and upset, sometimes instead of being calm and taking time to think through the issue, we might lash out. We may blast the person we feel caused the problem and let them know, in no uncertain terms, how we feel. When we do that we might feel better, but it rarely helps to solve the problem. If we wait, and take just a moment to collect our thoughts and think about the whole situation before we talk to them, and then use a soft voice, we have a better chance of finding a resolution without making the problem worse. It takes self-control and patience to wait, but we are all capable of handling conflict better, and managing our anger more effectively. Think about using a soft voice when you confront someone you’re angry with. It will calm you down and instead of defending themselves after feeling attacked, they will be able to respond and explain things more clearly.

Today if you are angrily confronted by someone else, try to respond using a soft voice. Be calm and clear, and quietly answer their concerns. You will be in control of the situation and yourself, and you’ll feel more confident and strong. Listen to their complaints and quietly answer their questions. It will diminish the conflict, and help resolve the issue. You can handle any situation that comes up today with a soft voice and quiet demeanor. You will prevail by being in control, and your day will be better and easier because of it.

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Untethered

16 Sep

A balloon floating freely up in the sky, tossed by the breeze and rolling around as it flies has no attachment to anything secure. It is untethered, and completely disconnected from anything but itself. It has no control over its direction or destination. Although we aren’t balloons floating away, there are times when we may feel disconnected and lost. We might feel like we’re being tossed here and there, and have no control over what’s happening or where we’re going. It’s unsettling when we feel our lives are being carried away by the decisions of others or things happening around us. Perhaps a significant change we could not control has occurred that has affected us deeply. Maybe the company we work for closes up unexpectedly, or a relationship we value ends suddenly without warning, or our health takes an unexpected turn. Lots of things happen to us and when great changes come without warning they can knock the air out of us, and leave us feeling lost and unsure of how to proceed. We don’t know which way to turn, and we can feel that our foundation has slipped away.

Unexpected and difficult changes can be stunning and we may feel nearly paralyzed at first. The shock of the change may leave us disoriented. It takes a while to process events like these, and it takes time to adjust to the change and determine how to navigate through it. It helps if we can confide in someone we trust, and whose guidance we respect. If we can talk about the situation, we may begin to formulate an action plan to begin moving forward. If there isn’t anyone to talk to, it is sometimes helpful to write down the feelings we’re having. Just writing everything down, with no concern about someone else reading what we’ve written, can give us a great release and help us think more clearly.

Change is normal in this life. Big difficult changes that surprise us are not easy to get through, but if we take our time, and give ourselves a chance to process everything we will find our way. If we are hurt it may take longer, but no matter how long it takes, we have everything we need inside us to get through. Nobody wants to go through hard and difficult situations, but it is those situations that teach us the most. While we’re figuring out how to adjust and move through them, we refine our abilities to cope and learn. We become stronger as we figure out how to turn the situation around and more flexible as we accept the differences that have come upon us. And when we’re on the other side, having successfully survived another trial, we will be wiser, stronger, and more capable. We really want to be the best we can be. Going through the hard times will help us achieve that goal.

Today if you’ve had an experience that has left you feeling lost, if you’re drifting in uncertainty and unsure about how to go forward, give yourself time to think. This is just a passage and even though it’s difficult it will not last forever. You will find your way through. You’ve been through other trying challenges and conquered them.  After you’ve navigated this and you’re on the other side, you’ll be stronger and more confident. There isn’t anything you can’t do. You are invincible.

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