Tag Archives: Advice

Big Shoulders

22 Jun

As we go through our lives trouble comes to all of us.  We have the regular aggravations that crop up and there are always some sort of complications as we try to do things.  Sometimes we encounter serious problems that are difficult to navigate and if we have more than one to deal with at once, we can feel beset.  They say that in every life a little rain must fall, but if we’re in a deluge of trouble and struggling to get through, it can be very uncomfortable to navigate.  There is a limitless variety of problems we may encounter.  If we have all the skills we need to solve them we get through them more easily than when we are caught unaware and unprepared.  We can’t read the future and can’t be prepared for everything that comes to us but we can be confident that no matter what it is, no matter how hard it is to overcome, or how complicated it becomes we can find a way through.  Nothing will come to us that we can’t figure out.  It might take some time, and we may feel daunted and confused for a while but we will find our way.  If we are confident and calm there isn’t anything we can’t face.

Sometimes we can sense when problems are going to happen.  Perhaps we notice changes that point to complications coming our way.  Maybe we can try to head them off at the pass and solve the situation before it gets too big.  But sometimes we can’t do anything to stop the issue and have to navigate it when it arrives.  There will almost certainly be other people involved when we face difficult issues and although we may have our ideas about how to go about resolving them, their influence and impact may be significant.  If we can’t agree on how to correct the situation it will take longer to let it go.  But we can be patient and clearly give our opinions and advice.  We may have to compromise our plans but when we find a workable answer everyone can agree on we can move forward.

When we have very difficult personal problems it can be hard to navigate the other arenas of our lives.  If what we’re going through is so painful that we can’t concentrate, finding the solution won’t wait.  Our lives are important and our happiness depends our ability to navigate and resolve whatever is holding us back.  Sometimes we may need to reach out for professional help and we can do that.  Or we might want the advice and counsel of a trusted friend.  We don’t have to face anything alone and if we want help, we can find it.  No matter what comes, there isn’t anything we can’t do and nothing we can’t manage.  We are capable of facing even the most difficult of trials, and our shoulders are big enough to carry them.

Today if you’re going through a difficult situation and feel beset by the problem, remember there isn’t anything you can’t do.  You can get help if you need it.  You will find the answers you’re seeking and you will resolve the issue.  You are stronger than you know.  Be confident.  Be brave.  You will prevail.

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Falling Up

3 Dec

When we’re busy and in a rush and focused on a goal, if we go too fast we can miss a step, and see nothing but the road ahead. We may ignore those around us, and even push them out of the way.  Maybe in an effort to get our point across in a hurry we interrupt conversations, or leave a situation too quickly. It might work for a while but eventually our negligence may catch up with us. In our rush to get done, or to finish first, we might fall down. There is nothing wrong with trying to accomplish things, or trying to move up in our lives. But if all we see is the destination and fail to notice what’s going on around us, if we don’t see the journey in our rush to get to the end, we’ll miss a lot. We might get done first, and we might beat the clock, but the damage we leave behind may hurt us in the end. Getting to the goal is only one aspect of where we need to concentrate. It’s important to get to the destination effectively, to pay attention, and not leave a trail of destruction behind us.

Nobody knows everything or can foresee the future. When we’re pushing forward, the person blocking our path may be the very one who has the answers we’re looking for. They may know exactly what we need to do and where we should put our best efforts. If we push them aside and rush past, if we don’t listen when they talk to us because we’re sure we already know what to do, the opportunity for their advice will be lost. We don’t really know where our paths will lead us or where we’ll be tomorrow or next week or next year. The very person who could advise us today, may be our leader, or co-worker, or benefactor tomorrow. If we haven’t taken time to notice them, or listen when they speak to us, and if we haven’t heard their advice, it may damage our relationship in the future. It’s hard for people to trust those who dismiss them. We all have something of value to offer. If we diminish advice when it’s offered, or ignore it completely, we may not get a second chance to benefit from it.

When we want to succeed, and really want to shine, we can try to do it alone, or we can include others in our efforts. If we’re overconfident, and determined to get it done by ourselves, we miss the chance to learn from others. There is more experience and knowledge out there than we’ll ever have by ourselves. It’s in our best interest to reach for it, and then patiently listen when it’s being offered. Most people are happy to share what they’ve learned. Since we only have our lives, and can only rely on our personal experiences, it’s wise to listen when others are willing to share theirs with us. They will be different than ours, and may contain the one piece of advice we need to succeed. If we stop rushing for a moment, and listen, we may be surprised by what we’ll learn. Then instead of falling down when we make a wrong turn, we can fall up as we go the right way. Up or down it’s our decision.

Today if you’ve been doing things your way, by yourself, perhaps take a moment to share your focus with someone else and let them share their experiences with you. Ask for advice. You may learn something that will get you to your goal more quickly and efficiently. Asking doesn’t mean you can’t do it on your own. It means you’re willing to learn. And learning new things is always a good idea. Be open. You have a lot of answers already. Today if you include someone else, you’ll get even more.

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Sunday Drive

18 Nov

We get a lot of advice from others around us. Family members may tell us what they think we should be doing, bosses may tell us how they want us to go forward, friends may tell us what we should change, and it seems everyone in our circle has an opinion about how we’re living our lives. There is nothing wrong with getting advice, but if we did what everyone else thought we should be doing, we might end up doing nothing we want to do. It’s easy to be swayed by someone close to us when they tell us what they think we need to hear. And sometimes we may even believe they know more about us than we do. But we are the experts on ourselves, and we know what we want and need better than anyone else. We can be confident in making our own choices and we can be independent of those around us. We love them, but we control our lives, and we can manage them our way.

Having confidence in the ability to manage our own lives comes easily for some, but is more difficult for others. If we’ve been held tightly and given a lot of supervision and direction, we may come to rely on that support. Over time if we continue to let others make our decisions, or heavily influence us, we might not realize what we really want. Going along is easy. We just do what we’re told and play the game. But the problem with going along is that we may get lost in doing what someone else has decided and over time may forget that we, too, have a voice.  And our voices are valuable. We are just as relevant and important as anyone else. If we continually sit in the back seat and just ride along with other people’s plans, we can’t drive our lives where we want to go.

Speaking up and saying what we want empowers us and gives us confidence. We don’t have to be forceful, or domineering, but we can state our preferences. If others disagree, we can accept that and still be confident in doing whatever is best for us. Our lives are unique, and we get to decide where they go, what we do, and how we’ll go forward. We can think about what we want, and then we can do what it takes to get it. There is nothing that will stop us if we want something badly enough. Other opinions may be valuable and we may listen to them, but when it comes to making the decision, we can determine which way to go. Nobody knows us better than we do. We know what we want, and we certainly have everything we need to achieve it.

Today if you’ve been going along and taking lots of advice, remember that you can choose your own course. You can decide what’s best for you. Your life is yours and you have everything you need to make the best decisions. Be confident. Whatever you choose to do will be right for you. Design your life exactly as you like, and it will be perfect.

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Signs

10 Aug

There are a lot of signs in our lives.  They inform us, caution us, and give us direction.  There are traffic signs, road signs, sale signs, address signs, and many others.  They are helpful, and we see them everywhere.  Exterior signs are useful, but what about the signs in our personal lives?  They pop up from time to time to help us find our way, or correct our course.  For instance, if we don’t exercise and our health starts to suffer, it may be a sign that we need to start.  If we eat too much and our clothes start to get tight, it may be a sign that we need to stop.  If we argue a lot with those around us, it may be a sign that we aren’t listening effectively.  There are a limitless number of personal signs in our lives that teach us, warn us, or make us more aware.

Paying attention to signs is important.  There is a reason they are there, and they are helpful.  But sometimes we get busy, and ignore our personal signs.  If someone we love keeps trying to reach us but we don’t respond, and later realize they needed us and we weren’t there, we may wish we had listened.  If our car makes a strange noise but we’ve got a lot to do so we push it off, and then suddenly it stops altogether, we may wish we had paid attention.  Perhaps we wake up with a headache but are in such a rush we don’t take a moment to see how we’re really feeling.  Then we head out to a busy day, only to be derailed by illness in a very uncomfortable situation, and wish we had waited before we left.  Signs are important, and paying attention to them is equally important.

We can do anything we want with our lives.  We can ignore good advice, we can eat and drink too much, neglect exercise, work constantly, isolate ourselves or anything else we want to do.  Even when we know some things may hurt us in the long run, we might choose to do them anyway.  And when we fail to notice our personal signs, we can find ourselves in uncomfortable situations.  Life gives us a lot of discomfort we can’t control.  It seems wise to try to control the discomfort we give ourselves.  So it’s important to pay attention when we feel reminded to do something, or when there is a sign that we aren’t going down the best path.  When those promptings come, we need to stop and re-evaluate.  Signs are there to help us, to remind us, and to show us the way.  It’s important to see them, listen to them, and consider their significance.

Today if you feel like you’re getting a little nudge to change something in your life, pay attention to it.  Take a look at the issue and determine if you need to change.  Listen to your feelings and inspiration.  Today decide to not just do what you want, but to listen.  You deserve the best of everything.  Do what you can today to achieve it.

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The Illusion of Control

6 Jul

We have very little control in our lives. We can’t often control what happens to us, we can’t control what other people do, we can’t control what we get exposed to, and basically all we can really control is our behavior. That’s it. But sometimes we may get confused, and think we have more control than we actually have. We may think we can control situations, or other people. Many of us have had experiences with people who’ve tried to control us. Maybe we’ve been the one who’s tried to control other people, or outcomes. It rarely works, but it’s a pattern for some of us.

As we go through this life we gain experience. That experience teaches us, and often helps us understand things better. Because of our experience, we may think we really know what is best for someone else. We may think we have the answers to a problem they are experiencing. And maybe we do. But whether we have the answers or not, we cannot make anyone do anything. We may offer suggestions, but their decisions are theirs to make. If we start telling people what to do, how to do it, and when to do it, and we are not in authority over them, we fail. We are not in charge of the human race. The human race gets to do whatever it wants to. And even if that turns out to be something we would never do, even if it hurts others, even if it’s the dumbest thing we’ve ever seen – it’s not ours to control.

It’s hard to watch those around us make decisions that hurt them. It’s hard to see them confused, and lost, especially if we think we know how to make things better. What we can do is offer our support, and make suggestions if they are open to them, but then, we must let them make their own choices. We can’t make anyone do things our way, and if we offer advice and they don’t take it, that is their option. A lot of people think they can tell us how to live our lives, even people who don’t really know about our lives. But the control over our lives belongs to us alone. We get to make all the decisions. And the same is true for those around us. They get to make their own decisions. Let them. We can be there if they need us, but they are entitled to make their own choices.

Today if you’re struggling with control issues – either yours or someone in your life – remember that your life is the only one you get to control, but you get to control all of it. If someone is telling you how things should be, listen and take whatever advice from them that helps you, and let the rest go. If you feel the need to tell someone else what they should do, remember their life is theirs to manage. It doesn’t belong to you. Control is an illusion most of the time. Control yourself, your decisions, your behavior, and your attitude. Let the rest go. It’s a lot easier just to carry your own load. Carry that. Let everyone else carry theirs.

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