Decision Time

13 Aug

Everybody has their own opinions about things. Sometimes we agree with them, and sometimes we don’t. When their opinions don’t involve us, we can disagree, and move on. But sometimes they are about us, and what we’re doing with our lives. Sometimes we get advice we haven’t asked for, and sometimes others frankly tell us what they think we should be doing. It can be uncomfortable when someone else makes a decision about our lives and strongly suggests we listen to it, especially if it’s someone we value and trust. But in the end, our lives belong to us, and the decisions about how we live them are ours to make.

Nobody knows the complete story of what we’re living but us. We have the insider’s view. No matter how close we are to others, it’s impossible for them to have our perspective. We are the ones living our lives, having our experiences, and being shaped by them. Sometimes those who care about us think they know what’s best for us. They may tell us to leave a personal relationship, or stay in it, quit our jobs or keep them, move or stay. There are all kinds of opinions out there and lots of people eager to share those opinions. If we are close to them, we may feel pressured to comply with their suggestions. We may find it difficult to say no, but saying no is our right. We have the starring roles in our lives, and only we know what we need to do.

When others project their opinions onto us and make the argument that their way is the right way, we can be polite and decline. We don’t have to give our reasons if we don’t want to, we don’t have to explain why we won’t take their advice, and we don’t have to justify our answers. We have the right and the responsibility of being in charge of our own lives. Even if everyone in our circle is screaming “Go left!” we can go right if that’s what we think is best. We have the power to control our lives. We can be loving, and thankful for suggestions, but in the end the choice is ours alone.

Today if you’re feeling pressured to make a decision you don’t think is right for you, you may decline. You can be confident in saying no. This is your life and you are the only one who knows the whole story. You can decide what’s best for you. You can live it your way. Today stand up for your decisions, and let those around you know that while you care for them, you will make your own choices. You’ll feel more empowered and you’ll be happier knowing you’re in control.

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Trade Off

12 Aug

Trading one thing for another is something we learn early in life.  Children often make trades at lunchtime, collector cards are traded to complete a set, toys are swapped, and even clothes are sometimes exchanged.  As we get older we realize that everything we do involves a trade of some sort.  We trade our time at work for money, we trade our money for things we purchase, and we trade our influence to get where we want to be.  Everything we do involves some sort of trade off.  They say there’s no such thing as a free lunch, and that’s true.  There is a price for everything, and we have to trade something to get it.  The trick is to be sure what we get when we make the trade is worth what we’re giving up.

Sometimes something we want has a price that’s too high for us.  If we want to study astronomy, we have to stay up all night to see the stars.  But if we’re early birds by nature, we may determine that’s too difficult for us.  Maybe we want to move up in our career but that would require moving away from our families, and we decide it’s not worth it.  Perhaps we dream of climbing Mount Everest but the physical demands are beyond what we can handle.  When we think of all the things we’d like to do, the cost of the trade off always come into play.  There will always be something we have to give up to achieve the goal, and only we can determine if the trade is manageable.

Some trades go well, and we are happy with the exchange.  When that happens we feel like we were treated fairly and made a good choice.  But sometimes, our trades go badly.  Maybe we purchase an expensive item that cannot be returned only to discover it wasn’t exactly what we thought it was.  Or we give up an evening to go out with friends, and upon arriving see that our contentious “ex” is there as well.  Because everything is a trade-off of some sort, the best we can do is to try to get as much information as possible before we make the exchange.  If we do that, we’re more likely to make trades we’re happy with.

Today if you’re planning to trade your time or energy for something you want, be sure the trade is in your best interest.  You are capable of seeing things clearly and making good decisions.  Ensure you are doing what you want most.  You’ll be giving something up for the goal you’re seeking.  Before you go forward, make sure the reward is worth the cost.

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Chameleon

11 Aug

We are all influenced by those around us. Sometimes we can be easily influenced by those we really like or admire. If we’re around someone frequently, we may find ourselves repeating certain phrases they often say, or copying their movements, which is a natural response to our involvement with them, and their influence over us. There is nothing wrong with this, so long as the carryover doesn’t keep us from being who we really are, or who we want to be. But there are times, when this influence can affect us negatively. There are all kinds of people in the world, and they will all teach us something. We can be like chameleons, absorbing the colors, the words and patterns around us, and making them our own.

If we have a friend or acquaintance that we admire, someone we enjoy spending time with, and their language patterns are different than ours, we may find over time that we begin mimicking the same patterns. If these are patterns that are derogatory such as excessive swearing or using expletives that are abrasive, we may find the addition to them in our vocabulary works against us. Human beings are adaptable by nature. If we hear something enough, it’s predictable that we’ll repeat it. If we repeat it enough, it may become routine in our everyday speech. If that change is lower than our desired standards, we may find it detrimental.

The same is true if we associate with someone who is extraordinarily kind, and uses words of compassion, and patience toward others. When we hear their tender phrases, we are impressed, and may choose to adopt those phrases into our lives. If we do, we may become more compassionate and patient by our association with them. It’s wonderful to meet people who are able to raise others up by their noble influence. If we have someone like that in our sphere it’s a benefit to learn as much as possible from them, and emulate their words and deeds. If we surround ourselves with people like that, we will be richly blessed.

Today, remember that the people you associate with are teaching you. Pay attention to what you’re hearing, and what you’re learning from them. Choose to spend time with those who will lead you to be the best you can be. We can learn nobility and valiance by emulating those who possess those traits. Today, find those friends, and learn all you can from them. You have so much to offer, and gaining good gifts will help you share more effectively.

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Signs

10 Aug

There are a lot of signs in our lives.  They inform us, caution us, and give us direction.  There are traffic signs, road signs, sale signs, address signs, and many others.  They are helpful, and we see them everywhere.  Exterior signs are useful, but what about the signs in our personal lives?  They pop up from time to time to help us find our way, or correct our course.  For instance, if we don’t exercise and our health starts to suffer, it may be a sign that we need to start.  If we eat too much and our clothes start to get tight, it may be a sign that we need to stop.  If we argue a lot with those around us, it may be a sign that we aren’t listening effectively.  There are a limitless number of personal signs in our lives that teach us, warn us, or make us more aware.

Paying attention to signs is important.  There is a reason they are there, and they are helpful.  But sometimes we get busy, and ignore our personal signs.  If someone we love keeps trying to reach us but we don’t respond, and later realize they needed us and we weren’t there, we may wish we had listened.  If our car makes a strange noise but we’ve got a lot to do so we push it off, and then suddenly it stops altogether, we may wish we had paid attention.  Perhaps we wake up with a headache but are in such a rush we don’t take a moment to see how we’re really feeling.  Then we head out to a busy day, only to be derailed by illness in a very uncomfortable situation, and wish we had waited before we left.  Signs are important, and paying attention to them is equally important.

We can do anything we want with our lives.  We can ignore good advice, we can eat and drink too much, neglect exercise, work constantly, isolate ourselves or anything else we want to do.  Even when we know some things may hurt us in the long run, we might choose to do them anyway.  And when we fail to notice our personal signs, we can find ourselves in uncomfortable situations.  Life gives us a lot of discomfort we can’t control.  It seems wise to try to control the discomfort we give ourselves.  So it’s important to pay attention when we feel reminded to do something, or when there is a sign that we aren’t going down the best path.  When those promptings come, we need to stop and re-evaluate.  Signs are there to help us, to remind us, and to show us the way.  It’s important to see them, listen to them, and consider their significance.

Today if you feel like you’re getting a little nudge to change something in your life, pay attention to it.  Take a look at the issue and determine if you need to change.  Listen to your feelings and inspiration.  Today decide to not just do what you want, but to listen.  You deserve the best of everything.  Do what you can today to achieve it.

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Push and Pull

9 Aug

When we have an idea we want others to buy into, or when we have something we want to do and we need the help of others, it’s important that we are able to convince them to join us. If it’s something we’re passionate about, or something we are sure is right, we may be forceful in explaining why they must join us. We may try to push them into agreeing, or in some way try to make them come along. Even if we have the best idea ever conceived, trying to force others to join us usually doesn’t work. Everyone has their own ideas to offer, and most of us aren’t receptive to someone telling us we have to do things their way. If we try to push people into coming to our side, we may push them away instead.

So how can we get the support we need? If pushing and force won’t work, what will? Imagine trying to push a bulky object up a hill. When we are behind something pushing it, we can’t see what’s ahead on the path. There may be obstacles that need to be avoided in order to succeed, but we’re in the back pushing with all our might, and we can’t see them. When we run into them they impede our progress, making the task even harder than it was. On the other hand, if we are in front of the object, pulling it up the hill, we can see every complication as it comes along, and avoid pitfalls. It’s the same with people. Most of us do not respond well to being pushed. It’s irritating to be told we have to do something we haven’t agreed to. But we can be pulled into an idea if we are informed, and given time to understand why we should join in.

Pulling people in is much more effective than pushing them. Taking the time to explain what the plan is, what is needed to make it happen, and what is being requested helps others understand why they are needed. We can explain why it’s important to us, and then ask – not force – but ask for their help. Most of us would respond more positively treated this way. If we want cooperation, being positive will more likely bring the results we are seeking.

Today if you have something important you want to accomplish, and you need the help of others, pull them in by explaining what your plans are, and ask them to join you. Ask without expectation that they will agree. Ask, understanding they may accept or decline. If you are open and friendly, your demeanor will bring them in. You will be successful in getting the help you need. You have everything you need to succeed already. You can do anything.

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