Losing Ourselves

21 Apr

Hard times come to us all. Sometimes we get so caught up in what’s going wrong in our lives we can’t see anything else. We can only focus on the problems we’re facing. We may feel beset, overwhelmed and quite miserable. It can seem that everywhere we look there is nothing but bad news. It’s like being in a fog of unhappiness and it’s hard to find a way out. But there are things we can do to find peace even when things are going wrong. One way to get out from under the trial is to reach out and help someone else. We may think we can’t possibly help anyone else when our lives are a mess, but doing things for others allows us to take our eyes off our own problems for a while. When we’re helping someone else there isn’t time to think about ourselves. We can get lost in service, and when we do we find respite. It seems counter intuitive to try to give when we feel like we’re going under but if we do we will be lifted and our burdens, no matter what they are, will feel lighter.

We all have so many blessings. Even in our darkest moments we have much for which to be thankful. Maybe we don’t live in a mansion, but we have a safe place to sleep. Maybe we don’t wear designer clothes, but we are warm and dry. Maybe we don’t have money in the bank, but we have enough for our needs. We take a lot for granted and forget how much we really have. Even in our darkest hours we have things for which to be grateful. And often we have more than many others. If we can remember that and share what we have, even when we’re struggling, we will find peace and comfort. It’s impossible to focus on what’s going wrong in our lives when we’re trying to help someone else with something they need. Seeing another person’s problems and helping them find comfort brings comfort to us as well.

When things go wrong and the bottom falls out, when we lose our footing and think we’ll never survive, all is not lost. No matter what we go through in life, we will find a way through. There will always be someone with more troubles and fewer blessings than us. If we reach out and extend ourselves to help, to serve in some way, and to share what we have, we will forget our sorrows and find joy. When we’re focused on someone else, we can’t focus on what’s going wrong for us. We will lose ourselves and our troubles for a moment and reach a little higher. We’ll find comfort and confidence as we remember the blessings we have, and see how we’re bringing joy to others by helping. We have so much to offer. Troubles will come and there will be hard times. But we can navigate them and find solace by helping those around us, and remembering who we are.

Today if you feel overwhelmed by things that are going wrong, and surrounded by trouble, look around and see where you could help. Extend yourself and do something for someone else. You will forget your problems for a moment and the service will bring you joy. When you return to the issues that are pressing, you’ll be rejuvenated and stronger. There isn’t anything you can’t do. Lose yourself helping someone else. Your problems will seem to diminish, and you’ll be comforted and happier.

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Genuine Article

20 Apr

There are a lot of influences on us every day.  Some people inspire us to do good things and be our best, and others can pull us away from what we really want to do.  Every decision we make takes us somewhere and brings some sort of response.  If they take us where we want to go and bring positive growth we continue to move forward.  But sometimes they stall us in our tracks and even bring sorrow and problems into our lives.  We all know who we are and what we want.  If we focus on being genuine in our decisions, looking at them clearly and without bias, and staying true to who we really want to be, we have a better shot at making the best decisions possible at every turn.  But the influences around us can be strong and have a powerful pull even when they are pulling us in the wrong direction.  We can get confused and take a wrong turn if we aren’t careful.  There are a lot of roads in life and we direct our path through the choices we make.  If we pay attention, and stay focused on our goals, we can continue to move forward.  And each step forward takes us closer to where we really want to be.

The people closest to us may exercise a lot of power over us.  Friends and family may want us to do something or be some way we don’t want to choose.  If we are very close to them and love them, their opinions may mean a lot.  And if what we want is different than what they think we should have, problems may arise.  Because we care about them and want to prevent conflict and preserve good feelings, we may choose to go along.  And if we do, we may be able to wing it for a time, but eventually who we really are and what we really want will surface again.  We can continue to play along but true happiness comes when we are genuine and honest with ourselves and those around us.  If we disagree with something we can choose to decline.  There may be tension at the beginning but if we stay true to our course, and they love us, eventually they will respect our choices.

There is sometimes great pressure to conform and be like others.  Nobody really wants to live in a cookie cutter world, but there are times when it seems easier to get along if everyone agrees to the same models.  No two people are exactly the same and each of us has a unique perspective to offer.  Although it might be easier if we were all the same, the only way to make that happen is to discount our uniqueness.  This world is a big, diverse place.  Each of us has something to offer but we can’t offer it if we are busy trying to fit someone else’s mold.  If we are genuine and honest about ourselves, and with those around us, we might not look the same, but our unique influence will bring unexpected blessings and enhance our experiences.  We are perfect being ourselves.  We can be confident enough to express that and find joy in being one of a kind.

Today if you don’t feel you’re doing things your way, you can change.  Your presence is a gift to the world, and we all need to know you just as you are.   Be confident in expressing your individuality.  You bring a perspective that is uniquely yours.  Be genuinely you and you’ll leave a perfect impression everywhere you go.

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Where do we go from here?

16 Apr

There are a lot of roads we can travel and paths we can choose. There is no one perfect way to live a life, and we have limitless options. Sometimes we come to a crossroads and look both ways unsure of which way to turn. If we go one way the outcome will likely be different than if we go another. It doesn’t always mean one way is better than the other, but they will surely be different. It isn’t always easy to figure out which way is best for us and sometimes even when we try to choose the path that will take us where we want to go, it turns out to be a dead end, and we have to turn back. We’ll face many times in our lives where we’re at a turning point. Maybe a relationship has ended and we aren’t sure what to do next. Maybe our professional lives have changed dramatically and we feel lost without a compass. And maybe we’ve changed and decided the path we’re on needs to change as well. Lots of things happen and sometimes when they do we wonder, where do we go from here? What do we do now if what we’ve been doing is no longer working or is no longer unavailable? It’s important to remember we are in charge of our lives. No matter what happens we have everything we need to figure out the next step. We can evaluate our situation, look at all the options available and make a good decision going forward. If it doesn’t work out, we can re-evaluate and choose again. There is no end to the choices we can make. We just need to keep moving forward. We’ll find the way in time and all the dead ends and missed turns will mean nothing.

Some people decide early in their lives what they want. They’re self-directed and have defined where they want to go and what they want to do. Others take their time and let things unfold for a while, and try several different scenarios before deciding what works for them. It doesn’t really matter what we choose to do as long as it’s what we really want to do. If we want to be a circus clown, we can be. If we want to be a business executive, we can do that too. But sometimes what we want may not be possible for us. We don’t usually know that in the beginning but as time passes if it’s not workable it’ll be obvious, and then can adjust our trajectory to a slightly different destination. There is no failure if we keep moving forward. It doesn’t matter how many times we change our course if we keep moving closer to where we want to be.

If we really want to reach a specific goal and although we’ve tried our hardest, it eludes us, we may need to re-think where we’re headed. Some things may be out of our reach. We may not have all the talents or skills to achieve exactly what we had hoped for but that doesn’t mean we can’t find success. Some people say anything is possible if we want something badly enough and many times that’s true. But sometimes no matter what we do, we can’t get there. There are a lot of factors in play all the time. If we haven’t gotten to the ultimate goal, we can be excellent where we are, and continue to grow forward. Wherever we end up we always have the option of asking ourselves where do we go from here? We can make any plans we want going forward. The world belongs to those who take it. And we can take our turn in getting what we want.

Today if you’re at a crossroads and aren’t sure which way to turn, look at all your options. You will make the best decision. If it doesn’t take you where you want to go, you can change your course. You are successful because you are moving forward. You know where you want to go. If you need to make a turn, you will make it. You life belongs to you. Take it, make it yours, and you’ll be successful.

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How Long it Takes

15 Apr

When things go wrong or we suffer a painful loss, it’s sometimes hard to get over. We may grieve for a time, or suffer in other ways, and although we want it to go away, sometimes the healing process takes longer than we want it to. If it’s a serious loss, like a death of someone near us or a painful breakup, it may takes months or years to get through. Even devastating disappointments can take a lot of time for us to process and move forward. When we’ve been hurt badly, the damage can be all encompassing and even debilitating for a time. We might feel we can’t overcome it, and that we’ll never be right again. Grief and healing can’t be rushed. They have their own timetable and even if we think we should be over it, even if our friends and family tell us to get over it, we won’t get through until we’re done processing the loss. How long that takes is how long it takes. If we can’t accept what’s happened and hold on to denial we won’t heal until we can let go. But if we are determined to move forward, and do everything we can to face the change that has come into our lives, we will get through more quickly. There isn’t anything so difficult or painful we can’t manage. We just need to take it one step at a time and continue to take a step forward every day.

Devastating losses, no matter what they are, upset our lives. They impact us in every way. They may affect the way we feel about ourselves and others, or the hope we have for the future, and the trust we have that things will get better. If the pain is deep enough, even our personal faith may be shaken. We may question things we had previously believed were unshakable and find it hard to face another day. Human beings are incredibly resilient but we’re also incredibly fragile. If we suffer pain so great that we are rattled to the core, it will take time to put the pieces back together again. But our resilience is always there. It’s there even when we don’t feel it or can’t see it. It’s like invisible glue always ready to help us put things right again. It may take some time, and it will take determination, but we have everything we need to become whole and strong.

Suffering brings blessings. That can be hard to see when we’re struggling and everything hurts, but even when we aren’t aware of it, we’re growing and getting stronger. The greater the loss, the greater potential for growth. The experience of loss helps us learn how to gain. As we heal, even if we’ve been broken into a million pieces, and it takes all the courage we have to find our way back, at each step we gain strength. If everything was easy all the time we would be shallow and weak. There would be no need to learn and grow, and no need for emotional strength. The blessings of trials are great. If we can remember we’re gaining when we’re trying to recover from loss it will give us the courage we need to keep going forward. There isn’t anything we can’t do. We just have to keep moving forward.

Today if you’ve suffered a painful loss, no matter what’s happened you will manage it. There is nothing so painful that it will overcome you. You are stronger than you know. Flex your muscles, take a breath and move forward. Tomorrow move forward some more. You’ll get through this. And you’ll be stronger on the other side.

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At the Edge

13 Apr

Most of us want to do our best in all our endeavors.  We try to learn the things, and seek the best outcomes for everything we do.  Sometimes something new is intimidating and although we are motivated, we may not be sure we can accomplish it.  If we push forward we may eventually get to a place where the next step is outside our comfort zone and we are at the edge of mastery.  We haven’t stepped over the line yet, but it’s right there.  When we reach those moments we may stop, unsure if we can really manage going forward.  Sometimes if we succeed in taking that next step it will change everything, and even if the change is something we want, we may feel tremulous and nervous about taking it.  When we’re at the edge, at the very end of one thing and the beginning of another, it can be unnerving.  We wonder if we can really do it.  We wonder what will happen if we do.  And what will happen if we don’t.  Every time we change there is uncertainty.  We know where we are now and even if we really want the change, it’s new territory.  But we can do anything we want, and we have the courage to push through any challenge.  When we reach the edge of something new, we can step right over it, and keep going.

There are lot of reasons to keep things the same.  We know what to expect, we know how to manage our regular routine, and we’re comfortable with the way things are.  But reaching out for something new enhances us and makes our lives richer and more meaningful.  We can learn and do things we’ve always thought about trying, and we can succeed.  If we stay in the same routine throughout our lives we miss the chance to see how far we can really go, and what we can do when we put our minds to it.  We are all capable of far more than we think we are.  There really isn’t anything that is too hard or difficult for us to manage if we work at it.  And when we gain new skills, learn new things, and go new places, our confidence rises and we understand more about our lives and ourselves.

Fear is something we all deal with.  For some of us it’s a rare experience, but for others it’s a constant issue.  It can keep us from trying new things and hold us back.  If it’s strong enough it can cripple our lives if we give into it.  Courage isn’t the lack of fear.  Courage is going forward despite it.  New and unfamiliar territory carries with it a level of uncertainty and if we focus on that instead of the goal we’re seeking, we may never take the first step toward changing.  But if we want something new in our lives, we can look beyond the uncertainty and any fear associated with it, and move forward anyway.  We are capable of doing amazing things but first we must believe we can.  If we have faith and take the first step into the unknown it will lead us to the next.  Each step we take will bring us more confidence and the fear will lessen as we get closer to the goal.  We can do anything.  It’s all within our reach.

Today if you’re at the edge of something you want, and aren’t sure about stepping over it, go forward.  You are worth more than you realize and you can do anything.  There isn’t anything too complicated or daunting for you.  Go forward with confidence.  You have everything you need to succeed.

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