Where We Are

29 Dec

Life is a long journey and our lives are always changing. There are countless roads and endless destinations. When we’re clear on where we want to go we can find our way and go forward confidently. But sometimes when we’re moving forward in one direction something changes and we see the road differently. Sometimes where we are or where we’re headed doesn’t feel right and we want to change directions. It may be a gradual adjustment or we may suddenly decide one day that we’re going the wrong way and turn everything around. Where we are right now does not determine where we may go from here. We can change directions at any time and find exactly what we’re seeking. Life is flexible and ever changing. If what was comfortable yesterday doesn’t fit today, we can re-evaluate our way forward and turn another way. Our lives are ours to design and we can make them any way we want them. If we want to go somewhere new, or be something different, we can. Where we are now is just where we are now. Where we go from here is up to us.

Although our lives belong to us there may be times when we find ourselves in situations we didn’t plan because of the influence or involvement of others or circumstances we couldn’t control. We may be in careers we didn’t choose because they were the only jobs we could find at the beginning and although we never intended to remain, time has passed and we are still there. We may be in difficult relationships with others that continue because our days have been intertwined with them and we’ve simply gone along. Or we may be living a life that we don’t really like because we haven’t done anything to change it. Living well is a gift we all deserve but it requires action. Our lives belong to us and we may design them any way we like. We don’t have to simply go along as the days pass and accept whatever comes. We can actively make choices to get what we really want and find satisfaction and joy.

Every idea of perfection is different. What one person thinks is the perfect life, another doesn’t. We are all unique and can make our own choices. If we want lives filled with action and adventure, we can set a course that will bring it to us. If we prefer a simpler model in a small setting with those we know, we can design our lives that way. We can do anything but first we must determine exactly what we want. When we know that, we can proceed to make it happen and find real happiness and fulfillment living the way that fits us best. If we aren’t where we most want to be and if our lives are not the lives we desire, we can change them. We have the power to change anything. Every single day is a gift. We can live well and happily by choosing to honor each day as it comes and live it fully the way that fits us best.

Today if you feel your life isn’t where you want it to be begin making decisions that will change it. You can do anything you want to do. Be brave. There isn’t anything you can’t manage and you can have the life of your dreams. Move forward on the road you want most and you will find happiness. Your life belongs to you. Make it yours today.

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Foreign Territory

22 Dec

Throughout our lives, we go through many changes and adjustments. There are times we face big changes – marriage, the birth of a child, a new career, retirement and others. When our lives are changing dramatically it takes some planning and preparation to help us navigate the next step. If we are excited about what’s coming and happy with the new plan, the adjustments may come more easily. It can be an exciting time filled with fun and adventure. But sometimes big changes in our lives may be threatening. Life is constantly in flux and although we become accustomed to the routine adjustments we make along the way, big turns can make us feel unsure. We can take the time we need to evaluate any new situation, make a plan for moving forward, and take it step by step. We can process any change that comes and if we make a plan for one day at a time we’ll be ready and move forward with confidence.

There is great security in routine. We get used to doing the same things, going to the same places, and seeing the same people. We feel comfortable when our surroundings are familiar. When we’re facing a development that requires great change, even if we’re confident we’ll be fine, actually going through the process of modifying our lives may be unsettling. New situations are foreign to us and even though we know we’ll find our way, it can be disquieting to navigate. There are new patterns we must learn, maybe new people to interact with, and the scenery may be different. When we’re in foreign territory it can be confusing. But foreign territory is only unsettling because it’s new. We can make it ours by embracing it and learning about it. We are strong enough and brave enough to face new situations whatever they require. Change is constant. Big changes may be more complex but we are capable of navigating them and embracing them.

Planning can make any change easier. If the changes we’re facing aren’t sudden and we know about them before they occur, we can take time to evaluate everything we need to prepare and make a plan for going forward. Making a plan will give us more confidence and help us manage whatever details we face as things progress. There will probably be unexpected complications, but we can manage those as they come and do what is needed to address them and get back on track. Change is inevitable. We can manage it well and find success by taking our time, evaluating each needed step forward, and planning our course. There isn’t anything we can’t manage or overcome. We can walk through new doors and face new circumstances with confidence and clarity, and find joy in our new situations.

Today if you’re facing a big change in your life and you’re feeling a little unsure, take time to evaluate all the parameters forward and make a plan. You have everything you need to be successful. Embrace whatever comes and make it yours. This life is an adventure and you are brave enough and smart enough to take it on.

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Magnets

21 Dec

There may be times in our lives when something we absolutely did not want to happen becomes a reality. If we fought hard to prevent it and worked with all we had to turn things another way and still it happened, it’s a stunning defeat. We may be in disbelief and feel lost and disconnected, and not sure what to do next or how to move forward. Now what? How can we possibly figure out how to navigate something we can’t even believe has occurred? Life is unpredictable and even if we do everything we can to make something happen, sometimes we will fail. The certainty of defeat is bitter but we decide our path forward. We can hold a grudge and refuse to comply with the changes that have come or refuse to accept the new reality. But there are better responses when things go wrong and we can find them and use them to confidently direct us forward.

Who we are is more important that what happens to us. We can’t control others or their decisions and sometimes the tide will turn against us. When it does we can fight, and scream and kick against it dreaming that if we make enough noise or push hard enough it will go away. We could demean those on the other side and ridicule them because of their choices, or sequester ourselves and hide out until things change. But none of those options will allow us to move forward and be our very best. Fighting against what has already been decided is a waste of energy and time, and holds us in place. What has happened is done and we must find a way forward. We have great value and our opinions matter, and although our path has been modified, with grace and patience we may influence the way ahead.

Magnets are interesting things. They pull on every metal that comes near them and draw it close without any trouble at all. They don’t push and they don’t force but with gentle, consistent, and unending pull they attract it to them. Metal cannot hold itself back from a magnet. The force is subtle and quiet, but unwavering and unyielding. When we want things to go our way and the road has taken a turn away from us we can turn it back. Like magnets, we can be quiet, gentle and consistent in our message. It’s impossible to resist someone who is kind and friendly, even when their message is different from ours. We’re all attracted to people who are loving and patient, and we will listen to them. There is an old saying, “You can attract more flies with honey than with vinegar,” and it’s true. Nobody wants to spend time listening to a sore loser rant and rave about their point of view. If we continually put forth our message with patience and moderation, we will attract others to our side. And then we can win.

Today if you’re stunned and angry because something went against you, remember who you are and the value of your message. Be kind and patient and others will be drawn to you. You have everything you need to succeed. Share yourself with love and consideration and others will join you going forward.

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Under Cover

20 Dec

People are complicated. They don’t always show us everything they are or what they can do. We all have things we keep to ourselves and some of us hold our cards closer to our chests than others. Sometimes we’re shy, sometimes we don’t have enough confidence to open all our doors, and sometimes we prefer to keep things private. Because we can’t know everything behind the scenes we often make judgments based on what we can see. We don’t know that man at work who dresses funny is an excellent painter who does stunning abstracts. Or that woman at church who is always so aloof spends two days a week teaching reading to underprivileged children. Or our grouchy old neighbor is an accomplished musician who traveled the world performing. If we don’t take any time to know others, all we see is what’s on the surface of those around us. We can’t know what’s beneath the obvious unless we take the time to find out. Saying hello in passing and making judgments based on what’s obvious will only give us part of the story. This world can be a lonely place and it’s hard to feel connected when nobody really knows who we are. We can bring happiness and comfort by asking and letting others share themselves with us. As we get to know each other better we can build understanding and bring unity to our world.

If you’ve ever gone snorkeling in the ocean, you’ve seen some of the different and wonderful things that exist below the surface. It’s a far different world below than it seems when we look out onto the water. The surface may be beautiful but all we can see is the very top of what’s there. Under the water there are countless types of fish, plants, corals and other things that are amazing in their diversity and scope. One could never imagine what is beneath the water by looking only at the surface. It’s the same with us. We can only see what’s on the outside of those around us. We know what they look like and how they react in a limited environment. If we really want to know who they are, we have to dive deeper and spend some time getting to know what’s below the surface.

Some people are very private and it takes a while to get to know them. They have their own reasons for why they keep to themselves, but if we engage them and show we are their friends and can be trusted, they will open up to us and reveal more of who they are. And when they do we’ll be embellished by learning more about them and the connections between us will strengthen. We may forge a bond of trust and respect that wasn’t there before. The whole human race is our family. We belong to it and it belongs to us. Learning about each other helps us understand more and feel closer as we move forward.

Today if you’ve been keeping to yourself and not showing the world who you really are, take a chance and open up. If there is someone you would like to know better, engage them and let them show you who they are. We all have so much to offer. Today share yourself and let others tell you about their lives as well. You’ll feel closer and more connected and your world will expand.

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Out of Control

19 Dec

Life can be unexpected and we may sometimes find ourselves in situations that are uncomfortable for us. There may be moments when because of situation or circumstance, someone may try to take control of our lives in ways that are difficult to deal with. If somebody else is more forceful than we are and decisions must be made, they may take command and if we don’t speak up we may end up facing things we don’t want to do. And sometimes we don’t have control over something simply because we are outsiders and decisions were made that affect our lives that we had no way to prevent. We all want to control what we do and where we go and often that’s the case, and if we find ourselves having to do something we didn’t choose it can be difficult to navigate. We are in charge of our lives and we may choose what we do. If we don’t want to participate in a decision, we don’t have to. It may be difficult to decline and refuse if someone close to us is adamant that we join in, but if we don’t want to be a part of the plan we can say no. We know what’s best for us and can make any decision we need to ensure that’s what we get.

Some people want to control a lot in life. In group settings, they like to decide what the group will do, where they will go, and what will happen. They often feel they know more than others and their opinions are the best that can be offered. However, we have control over our lives and may take them anywhere we want to go. But our lives are the only lives we have authority over. It is inappropriate and inconsiderate to believe we know what’s best for others. We may have good suggestions and may certainly offer them, but they are suggestions and not orders. We don’t have the right to tell others how to live their lives. If someone wants control over our decisions, we may politely thank them for their ideas and explain that we will decide what is best for us. We are the only ones who know everything about what we’re doing and where we want to go. We know how to choose the best path forward and although the advice of those we care about may be valued, our decisions belong to us.

In our intimate and close relationships, our loved ones may try to control the paths we’ll take. If we don’t comply they may resort to emotional blackmail and coercion to get their way. No matter what anyone else wants us to do or how much pressure they exert we can still choose what’s best for us. We have the great privilege and responsibility of managing our lives and taking them where we most want to go and we don’t have to do anything we don’t want to do. We drive our own personal trains and we know what tracks we want to travel. We can choose well and reach any destination we desire.

Today if someone has been trying to get you to follow their lead and you are uncomfortable, you may say no. You are capable of choosing the very best paths for your life and you know what you want and need. Be confident in choosing for yourself and forging your own way. You have everything you need to succeed and be happy. You know where you want to go and you will get there.

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