21 Dec

There may be times in our lives when something we absolutely did not want to happen becomes a reality. If we fought hard to prevent it and worked with all we had to turn things another way and still it happened, it’s a stunning defeat. We may be in disbelief and feel lost and disconnected, and not sure what to do next or how to move forward. Now what? How can we possibly figure out how to navigate something we can’t even believe has occurred? Life is unpredictable and even if we do everything we can to make something happen, sometimes we will fail. The certainty of defeat is bitter but we decide our path forward. We can hold a grudge and refuse to comply with the changes that have come or refuse to accept the new reality. But there are better responses when things go wrong and we can find them and use them to confidently direct us forward.

Who we are is more important that what happens to us. We can’t control others or their decisions and sometimes the tide will turn against us. When it does we can fight, and scream and kick against it dreaming that if we make enough noise or push hard enough it will go away. We could demean those on the other side and ridicule them because of their choices, or sequester ourselves and hide out until things change. But none of those options will allow us to move forward and be our very best. Fighting against what has already been decided is a waste of energy and time, and holds us in place. What has happened is done and we must find a way forward. We have great value and our opinions matter, and although our path has been modified, with grace and patience we may influence the way ahead.

Magnets are interesting things. They pull on every metal that comes near them and draw it close without any trouble at all. They don’t push and they don’t force but with gentle, consistent, and unending pull they attract it to them. Metal cannot hold itself back from a magnet. The force is subtle and quiet, but unwavering and unyielding. When we want things to go our way and the road has taken a turn away from us we can turn it back. Like magnets, we can be quiet, gentle and consistent in our message. It’s impossible to resist someone who is kind and friendly, even when their message is different from ours. We’re all attracted to people who are loving and patient, and we will listen to them. There is an old saying, “You can attract more flies with honey than with vinegar,” and it’s true. Nobody wants to spend time listening to a sore loser rant and rave about their point of view. If we continually put forth our message with patience and moderation, we will attract others to our side. And then we can win.

Today if you’re stunned and angry because something went against you, remember who you are and the value of your message. Be kind and patient and others will be drawn to you. You have everything you need to succeed. Share yourself with love and consideration and others will join you going forward.

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