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Prove It

7 Nov

Sometimes when we’re involved with others and they want to be sure of our commitment they may ask us to prove our allegiance. They may want us to do something to prove we’ll stay the course. If we’ve wavered in our commitments in the past an additional reassurance may be requested. Whether we like it or not, others watch us and notice what we do, and what we say. If we are honest in all our dealings and have proven over time that we will keep our word, such requests aren’t necessary. If we are true to our word, keep our commitments, and are always honest and fair, we’ll be trusted. However, if we manipulate the truth to suit our needs, change our minds as things develop, or fail to show it will be harder for others to believe us when we agree to anything. History has a way of following us around and if that history is unreliable, it may be hard to shake. We are what we do and it’s impossible to prevent others from seeing our true selves.

Living well takes effort. It’s so easy to lie and manipulate the truth when what’s real doesn’t suit us or negatively impacts us. We can pretend things are different than they are, that we’ve done things differently than we have, and that we didn’t mean to do something that caused discomfort. It takes very little energy to change a story when the truth is inconvenient. But everything we do becomes part of our personal legacy. Those around us see everything – even the things we don’t think they see. They notice when we lie about the check at the restaurant, or say we called when we didn’t, or pretend we didn’t hear them when we’re really ignoring them. Dishonesty always uncovers itself in the end. Even if we get away with it for a time, it will catch up to us and be exposed. And those around us will learn they can’t trust us, even if we give our word.

If we want to have the trust of those around us we must choose to be honest in everything we do. There is no sliding scale for honesty, it doesn’t depend on situations, and it’s not arbitrary. Honesty is simply living truthfully no matter what. If we make a mistake, we must own it. If we drop the ball on a commitment, we must do what is needed to repair the situation. We can be open and honest about our shortcomings whatever they are and then do what is needed to correct them. Nobody is perfect and we all falter from time to time. If we are honest about our lives and choose in every instance to be forthcoming and clear about the truth, those around us will trust us and open doors for us. Thomas Jefferson said, “Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” As we seek for wisdom, we must first seek to be honest. If we do, we will never have to prove ourselves to others. Our actions will be all the proof we need.

Today if you’ve been changing the truth to make things easier, choose to live in complete honesty. You can make excellent choices and correct anything you need to going forward. Be the best you can be and let others trust you and know who you really are. Be the light of truth and set the example to those around you. The trust you earn will be worth more than you can imagine.

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Somewhere Else

4 Nov

This life is a fluid experience. Everything is always changing and the only thing we can count on is that what we’re experiencing today will be different tomorrow. We are in a constant state of flux and no matter where we are now, we’re on our way to somewhere else. We are always learning and growing, and even if we don’t want to, we’re changing. It’s the nature of life. Time continues on and we move forward. Nothing can stop our continual movement until we reach the end of our days. Whether we’re headed where we want to go, learning what we need to learn, or in command of our direction is often up to us. We are in control of our lives and can direct them any way we like. There will always be complications, others may enter and confound our plans, and unexpected developments may derail us for a time. But if we are determined and focused we can get back to the road we want to travel and continue on. There isn’t anywhere we can’t go and nothing we can’t do.

Some people like everything to stay the same. They want their routines to be solid, their lives to be predictable and prefer not to change anything. They want to wear the same type of clothing, eat the same kinds of foods, visit the places they know, and limit their contact to people in their personal circle. While we may opt for a small life, limited in scope and opportunity, we can’t prevent change. Even if we’re determined to stay exactly where we are, the forces of life are moving us somewhere else. There is no way to freeze time. Each moment brings something new into our lives. Everything is fluid and every moment we’re moving forward. Where we’re headed depends on the choices we make.

We have many kinds of experiences every day. Some are good, some are even wonderful, some are common and predictable, and sometimes our lives may take a terrifying turn. We have no control over what comes to us and as each day unfolds we must find a way to cope and adjust to whatever changes it brings. Every development brings with it the opportunity for growth and learning. There is something to be gained from every experience. If we ignore the chance to learn we lose the opportunity to increase our understanding of life and deepen our awareness of where we are. We will change every single day in some way. How we process those changes is often up to us. We may get closer to the person we want to be or we may step a little further away from our goals. No matter what we choose, we are on our way to somewhere else. We can choose to direct our path to the destination we most want to reach. We can learn and grow as each day passes, and continue on the road we most want to travel. This life is a wonderful gift. The opportunity to choose and learn and grow are the greatest blessings of all.

Today if you feel you’re going in a direction that is taking you away from the where you want to be, turn your course. You know where you want to go and you know how to get there. You are in charge of your direction. Nothing will stop you from succeeding.

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Time Out

3 Nov

When we’re children and get a little out of control, maybe get too rambunctious or have trouble getting along in a situation, sometimes we may be placed in time out. We may go somewhere away from others that is quiet where we can sit and think for a while until we feel more in control again. Time out can be a useful tool when things start to get too emotional or hectic and it’s helpful not only when we’re children but also when we’re adults. Many of us have very busy lives with lots to do. We have a lot of responsibility and taking time out may not occur to us even when we feel overwhelmed. Sometimes all we focus on is pushing forward and getting to the next task. We learn to deal with stress and juggle complications as they arrive. Although we may accomplish much the quality of our lives may not be as good as we would like. But we can be successful in getting our tasks completed and still take time for ourselves. We can set a few minutes aside, step away from our pressing concerns, and reset.

In this day and age of technology where we can constantly stream news from around the world it’s easy to get caught up in situations we can’t control. Information overload is an ongoing issue when so much information is so readily available. Although it’s possible to continually be exposed to what’s going on everywhere, there is often little we can do to change or assist in many situations. Everything we see, read, or hear stays with us as we move forward. If it causes sorrow, stress, or anger or impacts us negatively we must determine its value. If there is nothing we can do about what is happening, the information, while perhaps interesting and informative, serves little purpose. We may decide how much influence we want things that negatively impact us into our lives. We can take a time out from all the information available and instead choose to focus on what we can do here and now to make our lives better and impact the world for good.

Just because we can do something doesn’t necessarily mean we should do it. We have countless opportunities available to us every single day. There are things we want to do, things we must do, things we put off doing and limitless versions of each. Our lives are ours to direct and we may make any decisions we like. If we agree to do everything we are asked and strive to do everything we want, we may get overloaded. But we can take a time out. If we’re overextended, we can adjust our plans. If we’re exhausted, we can take a break. If we’re overwhelmed, we can re-evaluate and change going forward. We can step away from all the activity for a while, review objectively what’s happening, and make a workable and comfortable plan for the future. We deserve to be happy and in control of our lives. Taking a time out regularly to refocus will help us achieve that.

Today if you’re busy and pressed and feel things have gotten out of control, take a time out. Step away from the situation for a moment. You know how to make things work more easily for you. You have everything you need to succeed. Think about what you most want to accomplish and arrange things so you are comfortable and in control. You’ll be happier as you go forward and you’ll succeed

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Giving In

27 Oct

Most of us like to be helpful. We try to be available when others need us or we offer assistance when we see someone struggling. We want to be there for our friends and family and be supportive. But there may be some who take advantage of us and create situations where we feel uncomfortable. Sometimes it’s because they lack personal boundaries and there are no limits to what they will ask. If they lie to us to get to their objective, we may get tangled up in situations that are difficult and confusing. If they are close friends, family, or loved ones, and this becomes a pattern we may get hurt. If we believe in promises that never become reality and continue to trust them to follow through despite what we’ve experienced, we may find ourselves unsettled and miserable when we deal with them. It can be hard to say no to someone close to us even if we know we may get hurt. There is an old saying that “Hope springs eternal,” and in our personal relationships that is often true. Even if someone has disappointed us many times we may hope the next time will be different. We may trust them to change even if there is no evidence a change is coming.

We are entitled to be happy. We deserve the best life we can create for ourselves. We can understand and clearly define our personal boundaries and when someone steps over them, we can back up. Being in control of our lives and decisions is our responsibility. If someone close to us continually abuses our trust, manipulates us to get what they want, or doesn’t follow through on their promises, we may step back and disengage from them. We don’t have to end our relationship but we can define what we will not do and hold fast to our decision. It’s impossible to change anyone but ourselves. We can’t make others follow through, and we can’t make them honest. But we can control what we do at every turn. If we are asked to do something that makes us uncomfortable we can say no.  If we are promised something we are sure will not happen, we can refuse to believe it. We can stay in our relationships and still honor our boundaries so we are happy.

Some people define love as doing everything others want. They try to make everyone happy and are uncomfortable expressing anything different from those around them. But we are all unique and it’s impossible to make everyone else happy. The world is a big place and there isn’t anyone else exactly like us. We don’t always have to agree or act a certain way to be loved. We deserve love just because we’re here. We can define what works for us and we can say no when we need to. If we are clear about our decisions those around us will know our true selves and respect us for our honesty. We never have to go along or give in if we don’t want to. We can be kind and patient, loving and supportive, and still say no.

Today if you’ve been going along in a situation that is making you uncomfortable, you may say no. You offer so much to the world and we are all blessed because you’re here. You can do what is best for you. You’re in control of your life and you can choose how you live it. Make your best decisions today and happiness will follow.

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Topping Off

25 Oct

Sometimes when someone offers us something delicious to drink we want a full glass and ask them to top it off. We want them to go all the way to the rim to get the most out of the experience. It’s great to get a full measure of something we really enjoy. Each drop is delightful and having a full glass is pleasing. But there are other times when things aren’t going well and we feel overwhelmed. When we don’t think we can handle any more complications and something else goes wrong we may feel like we’re tapped out. Topping off our glass of misery isn’t where we want to be. We may think we can’t handle any more problems and are at the point of breaking. However, no matter how hard the challenge we’re facing becomes or how many disappointments we must endure we have reserves equal to our needs. Even if we feel we have nothing left and are pressed further we will find the courage and strength to get through. We are really much stronger than we think we are. Hard times come to us all and even when we don’t think we can face them, we march through them. And as we overcome each obstacle and carry the heavy weight of endurance we become stronger and learn more about ourselves.

Serious disappointments, extreme loss, and acute sorrow are difficult burdens to bear. We may be stunned by the situations we must face and feel there is no way we can survive them. At the beginning of an extremely difficult challenge we may be sure it will overcome us and have no idea how to navigate through it. But as we take each step forward, moment by moment, we will find our way and gain more strength to face the problem. Desperation may fill our minds from time to time but we can calm it by reaching for the reserves of courage deep within us. There really is nothing too difficult for us to overcome and time is on our side. We can face any problem step by step and unravel our way back to peace of mind.

The old saying, “No pain, no gain” is often true. Resistance brings strength. Each time we face and overcome something difficult we become stronger. Although we don’t look forward to facing hard times and nobody wants to suffer, the pressure it takes to overcome difficult challenges is what clarifies our strengths and defines our courage. We are capable of facing anything that comes to us. We can reach deep inside ourselves and find all the determination and fortitude we need to overcome any problem we must face. There is nothing too difficult for us and we can be successful in every challenge.

Today if you’re facing something very hard and feel you can’t manage it, you can. You are much stronger and more capable than you imagine. You have everything you need to face whatever comes. You are invincible and powerful. Reach deep for the courage you need. Walk forward and look ahead. Success is waiting for you.

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