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Helping Out

15 Nov

Sometimes those near us, those we care about or love, or friends in our circle ask for our help. Most of us want to be helpful and do what we can when asked. If we consistently offer our help we can learn a lot and build our relationships. But sometimes our helpful nature can backfire when someone abuses our kindness. If someone we know makes a habit of asking for our assistance, not only in areas where real help is needed, but when they want us to cover their personal responsibilities, it can become difficult. We may find ourselves in a situation where instead of helping them we end up enabling them to sidestep their responsibilities and push them off on us. When that happens, we may be helping now but in the end if we do things they need to do for themselves, they lose the opportunity to grow and may become dependent on us. If we let others do our work for us, even when we’re capable of doing it ourselves, we miss out on the chance to grow and learn.

Habits are funny things. They form sometimes without us being aware. We do something once, then we do it again, and again, and before we realize it we may do it on a regular basis without noticing. For instance, if we have a neighbor close by and we stop to chat, we may offer to help with a project they are working on. Another day if we see them we may offer to help again. Soon every time we talk to them they may have tasks prepared for us ready to hand off. And if that continues, our helpful nature may become a burden for us and a crutch for them. It’s good to help others but when our help turns into expectation we may feel encumbered and obligated to do more than we should. We can recognize when our offer to help becomes a hindrance and we can change things so we aren’t just doing tasks but instead helping others figure out what they can do themselves. We can politely offer to help them accomplish any task they want to assign to us. We can do it together and enable them to be confident enough to accomplish it.

There is an old saying that many hands make light work. If we all work together whatever we are trying to accomplish generally goes more easily. It’s easier to lift something heavy as a group than it is alone. Helping one another allows us to serve and learn how to give. It’s noble to offer our assistance and we gain as much in the process as those we’re aiding. We can help in ways that allow everyone to learn and don’t undermine personal growth. We can find the limits between truly helping and enabling. The world needs those willing to serve and serve well. We have so much to give and with careful consideration can make sure out gift of service does as much good as possible.

Today if you’ve been helping someone and see that things have changed and you are doing too much, take a step back. Continue to offer your assistance but allow them to work alongside you and support them as they find their confidence. Show the way to success and let them take the lead. Help them find the road on their own. You are noble and kind to help and others will learn so much from your guidance.

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Name Three

14 Nov

We all have a lot of gifts and abilities. Most of us try to do things well as we go along and sometimes we succeed. But there are times we may face difficulty and feel overwhelmed. When our lives get stressful and things go wrong we may get to the point where we feel we can’t do anything right. If lots of things go awry at the same time it can seem that no matter what we do, nothing works. We may begin to feel like failures and believe we will never succeed. At times like that we can re-focus by simply naming three things that are going right. No matter what’s going on we are successful in at least three areas. When we’re overwhelmed and feel like we’re failing, there are at least three things we’re doing well, and chances are there are many things we are doing well. Even in our darkest moments some things are going right. Perhaps we are facing the situation with patience, or we are able to continue to be kind to those around us, or we didn’t complain all day today. There are things we are doing well all the time and if we look at those instead of all the things that are going wrong we will be uplifted. Hard times take a toll but we are strong and even if we feel defeated for a time we will find our way.

It’s easy to internalize our struggles and make them personal. We may blame ourselves for getting into this mess, for decisions we made that created our situation, or for weaknesses we perceive in ourselves that brought us here. It doesn’t matter how we got into our difficult situation. What matters is how we manage it and how we find our way through. Blame never solves anything. If we made mistakes that brought us hardship, we can learn from them. If we took a wrong turn that created a bad situation, we know the road better now. If we made a choice that opened the wrong door, we won’t make it again next time. We can learn from every step we take and choose differently in the future. In the meantime, we can review our situation and options, and find our way through any difficulty we’re experiencing.

It’s hard to feel confident when we’re suffering. It’s hard to remember we do things well when our lives are in turmoil. But the suffering and turmoil don’t change the fact that we really are good at many things and we can count on those attributes to help us through. Nobody is a failure at everything or without redemption. We all have a lot to draw on, things we know and do well, and we can find our way through any problem that ensnares us. If feelings of failure come, we can step back and remember this is just a passage. We will overcome it, we will survive it, and we will learn new ideas that will help us in the future. We do many things well and we are capable and strong. We can focus on that and continue forward with confidence.

Today if you’re overwhelmed with a big problem and you feel like a failure think of three things you do well. No matter what is happening you are doing things right. This is just a complication and you have all the strength and wisdom you need to navigate it. You will find your way through and learn more to help you going forward. You do so many things well. Remember them and keep moving forward.

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Perfect Brightness

11 Nov

During times in our lives when we really want something to happen or desperately want something not to come, we may feel hope. We don’t know what will happen and we want things to go our way. Hope is trust that our expectations will be met. It’s a feeling of anticipation that all will go well. Because we can’t read the future and there is no way to predict what others will do, we often have no idea what lies ahead. But we know how we want things to go and we hope they will be realized. Having hope is like having a float in the ocean. It can’t pull us out of the deep water but it can hold us up while we wait. Hope is the cushion that helps us through difficulty and we can hold fast to it and keep it bright even if our situation worsens. We may experience many difficult days as we navigate our lives. There may situations that confound and confuse us, desperate times when we’re terrified of what may come, or unsettling complications that make us lose our footing. No matter what comes to us or what we have to face, we can always have hope. We are stronger than we think we are and in every situation, the outcome we want is possible. Having a perfect brightness of hope – understanding we will not give up – will help us through.

We may face situations that seem insurmountable. We may feel beset by those around us and struggle to find our way. We might face extraordinary difficulty that makes us question our ability to survive, or makes us feel there is no reason to try. But in every situation, no matter how complex and hard, there is a solution. There is always a way out. We can look at the situation objectively, take time to catch our breath, and find the path that will move us forward and through whatever has captured us at the moment. Life can get complicated, and we may get lost for a time. But we have everything we need to find our way again, and we can trust our instincts and abilities to lead the way.

Hopelessness is the belief that a situation cannot change. If we are convinced that we are sunk, that we have been conquered and there is no way to escape, we may experience hopelessness. It is possible that we may face a situation so egregious and complex there is no way through, and we might face something we truly cannot change. In those moments, we can seek understanding and find a way to cope with the changes we may experience. Once we completely understand our situation hopelessness will be replaced with knowledge. And once we have the knowledge we need to face what is happening we will find the path forward. There isn’t anything we can’t do and nothing we can’t face. We are capable and smart and can accept anything that comes to us.

Today if you’re facing a situation and are hoping it will go your way, plan your steps forward carefully. There isn’t anything you can’t do. If things go awry and you must alter your course, you will do it well. You have all the courage you need to face anything that comes. Keep walking forward. The road is long and you will succeed.

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Standing Still

9 Nov

When we’re moving forward and pursuing a goal and things are going well we feel confident. When we have momentum on our side and everything is pushing forward we may see the end in sight. We may feel sure that nothing will stop us and happy about our progress. But sometimes out of nowhere something happens that stops everything. In a moment, we may find ourselves no longer moving forward but standing still trying to figure out how to get the engine started again. It’s like being in a sailboat with a strong wind pushing us through the water when suddenly the wind stops. If there is no wind, we cannot move and we are stuck until things change. In a sailboat, we may have to wait for the breeze to return but in our lives, we have options we can exercise to start moving again. We don’t have to wait for our situation to change around us. We can be the change we need. No matter what has happened we can do what is necessary to move forward. We can weigh all the options and choose a path that will move us toward our goal. We don’t have to wait for someone else to fix the problem, we don’t have to wait for something to happen, and we don’t have sit quietly. We are capable of untangling any complication and finding the answers to any issue. We can pro-actively plan and begin to move forward on our own and we can reach our destination.

Problems are a common part of life. Rarely do things go the way we think they will or the way we wish they would. Generally, there are complications, snags, unforeseen developments and other things that gum up the works. But we are smart enough and patient enough to figure out anything that stands in our way and we can determine what is needed to continue forward. If we get stopped in our tracks, we can stand still for a time and regroup. We can re-evaluate where we are and see where we want to be. And we can correct our course going forward so we achieve our goal. There isn’t anything too difficult for us to overcome or too complex for us to unravel. We know what we want and we will find a way to achieve it.

If we’ve been working on something for a long time and have faced several setbacks we may be begin to believe the goal is unattainable. There may be others willing to point up the problems and discourage us from continuing. We may start to doubt our ability to succeed. But if the goal is something we really want it doesn’t matter what others say or think, or what challenges we must face to achieve it. If we want to be successful we can find the way forward. We don’t need the approval or permission of others in our decisions. We can do anything we like and if things get complicated we can figure them out. We define our own success. We can do things our way and we can win.

Today if you’re facing a setback that has stopped you in your tracks, stand still for a moment and review everything before starting again. You know what you want and you will find the way forward. You are smart enough to achieve anything you desire. The road ahead is waiting for you. Step forward. The goal is just ahead.

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Tough Up

8 Nov

There are lot of things to learn in life. Some of them come easily and we enjoy the journey as we progress along. Others are more difficult and we struggle as we try to move forward. It’s true that often anything worth learning will get more difficult before it gets easier. There may be more details than we anticipated, and sometimes we may get stumped trying to figure out the way forward. But if we want to learn and are motivated to accomplish any task we can find our way. It may take longer than we thought when we started, it may be more complicated than we anticipated, and at some point, it might even feel like it’s impossible. But there really isn’t anything we can’t do if we want to badly enough. We can figure out what needs to be done, we can work any problems that arise until we solve them, and we can succeed. The question will be how much we really want the goal. When things go awry and we get lost we’ll have to decide if going forward is worth the cost. If it is, nothing can stop us but if we’re unsure we may give up. It’s impossible to learn anything by giving up. If we want to grow and develop new skills, we must press forward.

Everyone has a different level of tolerance when it comes to complications. Some people are tenacious and never let go until they reach their goals. Others persevere until things get very difficult or confusing and will then decide to opt out. And there are some who will choose a goal and the very first complication will change their minds. There are complications in everything. If we quit the first time they arise we will never learn anything new or accomplish much. We will stay as we are until we tough up enough to be willing to face difficulty and find our way through it. We have enough courage to face whatever comes to us and we can dedicate as much effort as we choose to any goal we want. We can learn anything, do anything, and gain all the experiences we want if we are determined to get them.

We all have more determination and courage than we think we do. When our lives get suddenly complicated or difficult they rise and we draw on them to navigate our way through. We may forget how much we are capable of if we only go through the motions in our lives. There is so much we can learn and do that is outside our regular scope. We can have lives filled with new experiences and if we are determined to achieve them we will be enriched and strengthened. Everything we overcome and conquer gives us more confidence making the next challenge easier. Our lives belong to us and we can design them any way we wish. They can be filled with new experiences, challenges and opportunities for growth. We can do anything. We are capable of being tough enough to face any situation that comes and we can succeed.

Today if you want to try something new or stretch your life in a new direction but are concerned about the challenge, be strong. There isn’t anything you can’t overcome. You have all the wisdom and courage you need to conquer anything. Press forward. Live your dreams. Everything is waiting for you.

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