Tag Archives: Knowledge

Not Me

7 Feb

Nobody is perfect and although we try to always make good decisions and choose well, sometimes we’re going to make mistakes. It’s the normal course of life. We might decide to do something that seems good at the beginning but turns into a complete mess, screwing up our lives and anyone else involved. It happens to everyone and nobody is exempt. We’re going to go the wrong way from time to time, and what we do after that will determine what happens next. When the bottom falls out and we’re left holding the bag, we can try to deflect the blame onto someone else. We could say it wasn’t us, we weren’t involved, nobody told us about it, and a million other excuses that won’t change anything. Pushing the blame for something we’ve done onto someone else will never help, and will reflect badly on us going forward. Many times, everyone already knows who was involved when things go wrong. Pretending to be invisible or making sure we’re somewhere else when it all hits the fan won’t fix anything. We’re accountable for everything we do and every decision we make. Hiding, deflecting, pretending or trying to dodge our involvement will only delay the inevitable. It’s far better, no matter how bad things are, to stand tall and admit our involvement. It’s only a mistake, not the end of the world. Nothing is permanent and no matter what’s happened there will be a way to correct our course. We are intelligent and can find the way forward no matter how convoluted the situation may seem. With confidence and courage, we can address any misstep and make whatever changes are needed to point us in the right direction. Every destination is possible and we will find the way ahead.

It’s impossible to know everything about everything. When we’re making decisions, there may be something we can’t see or some fact we don’t know about. We can only use the information available to us at any time, and if we discover later there is more to the story that affects the way forward negatively, we can modify our plans. If we’re flexible and open, we can still find our way to the goal despite any complications. Life is filled with possibilities and there will always be another way ahead. With focus and planning, we can reach any destination we desire.

There may be times when we might be blamed for something we didn’t do. It’s difficult to feel the scorn of others for something we’re not responsible for and we may certainly stand up for ourselves and protest our innocence. If doubt still remains, we can continue forward making the best choices possible, and in time, truth will prevail. We can make excellent decisions that show the world who we are, and that take us where we want to go and help us achieve our most valued goals. We are strong and powerful, and we will prevail.

Today if things have gone wrong from a decision you’ve made, own your part and do what is needed to correct the situation. Mistakes happen and you can change direction. Look at everything openly and decide on the best course of action. You are wise and intelligent, and all the answers are there for you. Trust yourself. You will prevail.

Perfect Brightness

11 Nov

During times in our lives when we really want something to happen or desperately want something not to come, we may feel hope. We don’t know what will happen and we want things to go our way. Hope is trust that our expectations will be met. It’s a feeling of anticipation that all will go well. Because we can’t read the future and there is no way to predict what others will do, we often have no idea what lies ahead. But we know how we want things to go and we hope they will be realized. Having hope is like having a float in the ocean. It can’t pull us out of the deep water but it can hold us up while we wait. Hope is the cushion that helps us through difficulty and we can hold fast to it and keep it bright even if our situation worsens. We may experience many difficult days as we navigate our lives. There may situations that confound and confuse us, desperate times when we’re terrified of what may come, or unsettling complications that make us lose our footing. No matter what comes to us or what we have to face, we can always have hope. We are stronger than we think we are and in every situation, the outcome we want is possible. Having a perfect brightness of hope – understanding we will not give up – will help us through.

We may face situations that seem insurmountable. We may feel beset by those around us and struggle to find our way. We might face extraordinary difficulty that makes us question our ability to survive, or makes us feel there is no reason to try. But in every situation, no matter how complex and hard, there is a solution. There is always a way out. We can look at the situation objectively, take time to catch our breath, and find the path that will move us forward and through whatever has captured us at the moment. Life can get complicated, and we may get lost for a time. But we have everything we need to find our way again, and we can trust our instincts and abilities to lead the way.

Hopelessness is the belief that a situation cannot change. If we are convinced that we are sunk, that we have been conquered and there is no way to escape, we may experience hopelessness. It is possible that we may face a situation so egregious and complex there is no way through, and we might face something we truly cannot change. In those moments, we can seek understanding and find a way to cope with the changes we may experience. Once we completely understand our situation hopelessness will be replaced with knowledge. And once we have the knowledge we need to face what is happening we will find the path forward. There isn’t anything we can’t do and nothing we can’t face. We are capable and smart and can accept anything that comes to us.

Today if you’re facing a situation and are hoping it will go your way, plan your steps forward carefully. There isn’t anything you can’t do. If things go awry and you must alter your course, you will do it well. You have all the courage you need to face anything that comes. Keep walking forward. The road is long and you will succeed.

Jumping?

24 Mar

We make dozens of decisions every day.  Sometimes they need no thought – I have to go to the store, pickup the mail, get the car washed, be at work early – things like that.  There are decisions we make quickly because we don’t really have to think about them, we just need to get things done.  But other times we make fast decisions in situations when we really should wait for a moment before we decide what to say or what to do.  We jump.  Oftentimes we jump because our feelings are involved and that “fight or flight” thing comes into play.  When someone says or does something that hurts us, we can immediately jump to an action or statement that can quickly escalate the situation.  We get cut off on the road so we lean on the horn and shout out some sort of damning expletive that makes us feel better, but does nothing to improve the situation.  “You idiot!  Who taught you to drive!  Get off the road you ass!”  You probably will feel temporarily better for having told that horrible person who dared to cut you off how you feel about it.  But in reality, you have done nothing to change anything.  He is still there in his car, ignoring you, being who he is and really not caring what you think.  So the question then comes, is it wise to jump?

In our personal relationships with family, friends, co-workers, and everyone else in our sphere, there will inevitably be times when we will be hurt or disappointed in something someone is doing or has done.  We take it personally.  We feel unfairly treated and if we jump, we say things to hurt the offending party right back.  After all, they deserve it – they hurt us first.  But sometimes our perceptions of what happened may be incorrect.  And if they are and we jump to respond, we can damage those relationships and lose the trust others have in us.  A friend of mine has been dating a man for a while.  He says he’s madly in love with her but has been unable to move the relationship forward in any way.   She says she loves him but she isn’t sure he will ever really commit to a future with her and she isn’t sure how long she should wait.  He has a lot of excuses for why he can’t move forward and they all sound good, but a couple of years have gone by and nothing has changed.  After careful consideration she decided to clearly discuss the matter with him and frankly and openly ask him what his plans were for the future.  She had tried before to do this but he skirted the issue and changed the subject.  This time she was determined to have an honest discussion with him so she could decide how she wanted to move forward with her life.  When she brought the subject up and told him she wanted to talk about their relationship and get his perspective on the future, he immediately lost his temper.  “Why are you asking me this?  Are you seeing someone else?  I thought you loved me!  I can’t believe this!  Have you been pretending all this time!” and on and on he went.  He jumped.   He was uncomfortable and instead of getting the facts and listening, instead of just taking a breath before he blurted out all of his concerns, he jumped.  Maybe he jumped to divert the conversation away from something he was clearly uncomfortable talking about.  Maybe he jumped because he knew he had made her wait too long and this conversation was inevitable.  Maybe he jumped because he was threatened.  Nobody knows why he jumped, but when he did, any hope of moving the conversation forward, to discussing the options before them as a couple, or understanding his point of view were lost.

Perhaps it would be wise when we feel that sting of hurt from something someone did, when we feel the threat of something coming, when we feel scared, when we get angry, perhaps it would be wise to just wait a moment.  Take a breath.  Don’t jump – yet.  Breathe.  Look at the situation again.  Breathe.  Get all the facts, listen, listen, listen, and then take another breath.  And then express yourself calmly.  If we can stop jumping and learn to control our responses, most of our conflict will become more manageable. Our interactions will become a little easier and we will feel better.  We can choose to jump and react or we can choose to think and respond.  If we practice taking that extra breath, just taking one moment to think before we jump, we will be more successful in understanding where we are and what is happening.  They say that knowledge is power.  I believe that’s true.  So stop, take a breath, get all the knowledge you can about the situation and then use your power to control your response.  Those around you will learn that they can trust you not to jump.  It will take some practice but it will be worth it.