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Smoke and Mirrors

27 Jan

It would be wonderful if everyone was honest with us and told us the truth. But there are all kinds of people in the world and sometimes that doesn’t happen.  Most people are honest most of the time, and try to choose the best path going forward. But there are some who aren’t, who don’t see any reason not to lie, and will do whatever it takes to get what they want. We can try to avoid people like that and sometimes we can, but unfortunately they look just like everyone else and sometimes we get tangled up in them before we know what’s happened. Trusting others is a noble trait and until someone gives us a reason not to trust them, it’s good to give them the benefit of the doubt. The catch is when we trust them at the beginning, if they aren’t worthy of that trust, we don’t find out until the end. And then it’s too late and we’ve already been deceived.

It’s like a game of smoke and mirrors. In a very smoky place, it’s hard to see and discern details. We can make out large forms but have to be careful where we step because we can’t see what’s in front of us. Things may appear to be one thing but upon closer inspection are something entirely different.  And we all know how mirrors may distort our vision. The best magicians in the world use them in their most amazing tricks because of their ability to bend what we see and how we see it. People who lie are like that. Some can look us in the eye and tell us something completely untrue, insisting it’s fact. Or they may convincingly make promises they have no intention of fulfilling. If what we’re being told is something we really want, or the person telling us the story is someone we love, we may believe them. As time passes and the promises don’t become reality we may question them, and try to find the truth. But if they are intent on keeping the lie, they may talk in circles and spin stories that sound reasonable to keep us on the hook. It’s confusing trying to find our way between what we’re being told and what is really happening. No matter what we ask them, if they are determined to keep the lie going, they will find an answer to keep us locked in.

Human beings are very perceptive by nature. We can discern what is real and what is false. If we get emotionally caught up in a lie, it may take us a little time, but eventually we’ll figure it out. And when we do, we must determine how to go forward. If the liar is someone very close to us who we really want to trust, even though we’re sure they aren’t being truthful, we may stay in the game. Emotional attachments can be very strong and hold us even when we know we need to let go. But we are important and deserve to be treated with complete honesty. If we remember that, we will find the right way forward. Dishonesty never brings lasting happiness. It can never make us noble or honorable. We may find immediate gratification by lying, but it will always bring us sorrow in the end. If we want real, lasting happiness, we must choose the higher road and be truthful in all things.

Today if you’ve discovered you’ve been lied to, think about your way forward. If you are the one deceiving others to get something you want, stop. You may get to your goal, but in the end it will cost the trust and respect of those you care for. Honesty is a noble choice. Strive to be your very best today, and require honesty from those near you. You are worth more than you can imagine and you deserve complete honesty in everything. Strive for that and demand it in return.

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Despite It All

11 Jan

There are times in everyone’s life when things don’t work out. Sometimes it seems like, for reasons we can’t fathom, everything goes wrong.  Everything we try fails, every idea is wrong, and every attempt to fix the situation falls flat. At times like those it can feel like the planets have aligned against us, the stars are raining down on us, and a black cloud is following us everywhere we go. Of course, we are overstating the situation, but when we feel beset and overwhelmed, when we’re trying hard and nothing goes the way we want it to, it can feel that way. We can believe that it’s our fault, and although we know it’s a temporary situation, we may think we’ll never be right again. But everything in this life is fluid and ever changing. What we’re going through today will certainly change in some way tomorrow, maybe not the way we’re hoping it will, but it will be different. The old saying that there is a light at the end of the tunnel has a caveat – it might be an on-coming train! And that’s just how things go sometimes.  We can be in uncomfortable situations that unfortunately get worse before they get better.  But even if that happens, things will change at some point and we can begin again.

How are we supposed to manage when we feel like everything is off its axis and we’re walking around on an off kilter syncopated path that keeps twisting and mixing things up? We have choices regarding how we’ll handle the calamities that befall us all. We can hole up in our rooms, lie in bed, and pull the covers over our heads until things improve. We can get angry and snap at everyone around us because we’re unhappy, or we can try something more positive.  No matter what we’re going through we can choose how we’ll navigate it.  We can endure the trial miserably or we can see it for what it is – just a bump in the road – and face it with optimism. No trip is without problems, and no journey is without struggle. But there isn’t a problem or journey that lasts forever, so whatever disappointments we face will resolve in time. How much time that takes is different for every situation but no matter how long it takes, we have the power to manage it, and manage it well.

A bump in the road is a transient situation. Sometimes there are big potholes we have to drive around, and sometimes we don’t see them in time and our tires get stuck in them. They are annoying, and can hang us up, but they aren’t the end of the road. They aren’t our destination. They are just a complication along the way. We can navigate them and if we get stuck we can figure out how to get out again. We are resourceful and wise. There really isn’t anything we can’t manage if we give ourselves time to figure things out. If we remember that when our lives take a nose dive and we feel overwhelmed, we can put everything into the proper perspective. Nothing is forever but death, and we aren’t dead yet. So this will pass. We are more capable than we realize and we will, despite everything that’s going wrong, prevail. There isn’t a bump big enough to stop us from going forward and finding success.

Today if everything is going wrong and you feel like giving up, remember this is a temporary situation. It’s not permanent and it’s not too big for you to handle. No matter what comes you can manage it and find your way to happiness again. You have everything you need to succeed. This is just a moment. There are wonderful things just ahead.

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Knowing

8 Jan

As we go through all the many experiences in our lives, we sometimes come across situations that confuse us.  Maybe we aren’t sure exactly what’s going on, or something someone says doesn’t agree with what they’re doing.  Because most of the experiences we have involve other people, and they can do anything they like even if it doesn’t make sense, it’s sometimes hard to understand situations.  Some people may pretend that things are different than they really are and try to convince us that everything is one way when in fact it’s the complete opposite.  Some people may even lie to us, and manipulate us into believing things that aren’t true.  When we’re unsure because things aren’t making sense, when we can’t believe something is happening but all the evidence points in that direction, we can feel lost.  We don’t know which way to turn.  We don’t know what to do.

When we’re confused about a situation, it’s helpful to take a step back away from it and see it more objectively.  We can more easily discern truth if our emotions aren’t involved.  When we’re tangled up and enmeshed in a situation, we may be too close to see the whole story.  If we step back just a little our vision will clear, and we may see things we couldn’t before.  People are complicated and make all kinds of decisions – both good and bad.  Their reasons are their own, and if the reason is selfish, it can hurt others.  Sometimes they don’t care if they hurt others and will continue even after they see the pain they’re causing.  And sometimes the pain is just a byproduct of what they’re trying to do.  Either way, if we’re in their crosshairs and are getting hurt, we can find out why.  We can step back and see things clearly, and then we can make the best decision going forward.

There are times when what we think is happening can be an illusion created by a situation or those involved in it.  It’s possible to be manipulated into believing things are very different than they really are.  Perhaps someone wants something from us and knows we will never give it to them unless we believe it’s for someone else so they manufacture a situation that gives that impression.  Or maybe someone wants us to do something they know we won’t agree to and make the request appear to be something entirely different.  If these things happen we can get caught going down a path we never intended to travel.  There really is no limit to what others can do or say to us.  But we can figure out the truth if we step back when we feel something isn’t right.  We can trust our instincts to know what is real, and when we’re ready, we can uncover the truth.  We will know what to do.  We have everything we need to discern the right path, and then go forward.  We can correct our course at any time, and turn back to the right direction to find peace and happiness.

Today if you feel something isn’t quite right in a situation involving you, and if you’re unsure, step back a little and see it more objectively.  Pretend you’re not involved and see everything clearly.  You’ll find the truth and you’ll know what to do.  You are insightful and wise.  You have everything you need to go forward with confidence.

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Showing Up

17 Dec

Happy days come to us all. Things go well, we’re healthy, our loved ones are doing great, and we feel good. We like our neighbors, enjoy our jobs, and have plenty of relaxation and fun.  When everything is going well and life seems easy, we don’t have to do much to get through our days. They sail by and we feel content, and don’t have to draw on much within ourselves. We’re enjoying our lives, but we aren’t really learning much, which at the time is just fine with us. However, those times never last and when they change into more difficult periods, life becomes more challenging and it’s harder to process what we’re going through. When hard times come, as they inevitably will, we have to rely on ourselves to find courage and strength. Thankfully, both show up when we need them. We have everything we need to face anything that comes to us. Courage and strength wait in the wings when things are going well, and rise to the top just as we need them.

We can trust ourselves to find answers and get through any trial or difficulty we face. No matter how old we are, chances are we’ve faced hurtles before and surmounted them. We’ve figured out difficult puzzles and complex situations already so when they come again in their endless variations, we know we can face them. Of course, nobody wants to go through difficult times, and we may think we want our lives to be an endless picnic of fun without the ants. But life isn’t like that, and it’s in the trials where we learn to be brave and in the fire where we learn to be strong. Our courage is honed through practice, and our ability to process and untangle problems comes with experience.  Every single bump brings with it a blessing. As we go through them, figure them out, and conquer them, we get closer to the person we most want to be. We burn off a little more superficial shell, and get down to who we really are deep inside.

It takes faith to believe we can overcome obstacles that come to us, especially if they are very painful. We will experience many difficult things in our lives – death, sadness, loss, hurt, and shame to name a few. Although we don’t enjoy the hard times, they teach us the most, and on the other side of them we are deeper and more enriched than we were before they began. And we have everything we need to face them. Our courage, our stamina, our determination and our wisdom will rise the moment we need them. They are always there ready to assist, and with them we can conquer anything. Even in the most difficult moments, we can continue to go forward. Nothing lasts forever and as each problem untangles itself, as we heal from the loss, we begin to rebuild into someone stronger and more capable because of what we’ve overcome – again. This life is a continual round of lessons to be learned. We can learn them all and we can defeat any adversity. There is nothing we can’t do.

Today if you’re facing something very difficult and painful, remember you have everything you need to prevail. You have sufficient courage and wisdom to find resolution and move forward. There isn’t anything that is too hard for you. Everything you need is there for you already. Draw on it, pull from it, and let it rise. You will overcome this. It’s just one more step.

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Not Joining In

30 Nov

Although we try to associate with friends who respect us, and people we can trust, there are unfortunately times when we may find ourselves in the company of those who are neither respectful nor trustworthy. Perhaps they lie, manipulate, cheat, or do other things to hurt us and make us doubt our worth. It’s not easy to have interactions like those and if we do, we may be intensely angry or feel emotionally destroyed. We may struggle with unbelief, especially if we thought we were valued. But if those that hurt us don’t really care, when we learn the truth, we can be devastated and lost. “How could we be so blind?” we may ask. We wonder how we could have missed the signs that must have been there. Sadly, people who don’t really care may be so adept at hiding their true nature, it may have been impossible to know the truth until it was too late. But no matter how long it takes, eventually the truth comes out. And when it does we may feel like fools, and have no idea what to do next.

There is an old saying, “If you can’t beat them, join them.” If we believe this, we might feel justified in taking revenge, and finding a way to hurt those who’ve hurt us as badly as we can. We may feel it’s fair to make them miserable and do everything possible to destroy them. It’s certainly one way to cope with the pain, but joining them in their hateful behavior will not help us. It seems like it will, but all it will do is add personal disappointment to the pain. It’ll be a “two fer.” We’ll get to suffer from their actions, and then feel worse from our own. And that isn’t in our best interest. It might make us feel better in the short run, but in the end it’ll just make things worse. If we’re already devastated, making things worse will never help.

Although those who have acted badly, who have hurt us on purpose, or who have manipulated us, certainly deserve retribution, we don’t have to compromise our ideals to make sure they get it. We must remember that our lives belong to us, and we are in control of our decisions. If we lower our standards and become as viscous as they are, we give control to them. If we react poorly instead of respond well, we will lose. And if we’ve been badly hurt, we’ve lost enough already. However, if we stay strong in our standards, and hold tight to our ethics, and instead reach for the noble path, we prevail. There is nothing that can diminish integrity and wisdom. There is nothing that can triumph over excellent judgment. It isn’t easy to hold fast to what is right when we’ve been wronged. It isn’t easy to look up when we’re hurt, but that is the only way to win. We don’t have to join in bad behavior to prove we are right. We can stand strong, choose virtue, and honor ourselves and our values. When we do that, we always win. Our personal respect stays intact and we overcome everything. We have the courage and the ability to choose well. We can handle anything that comes to us, and handle it with dignity and greatness.

Today if you’ve been hurt badly by someone you thought you could trust, remember who you are. You are good, and you will choose what is best. Stand strong for what you know is right, and be the very best you can be. Nothing can diminish you. Hold tight to the truth. You are so much better than this. Be brave, and make decisions that support the excellent person you are. Be confident. You are worth the best of everything.

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