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Call the Dance

16 Feb

There is an old saying that says if we call the dance, we must pay the piper. It means we are responsible for the results of all our decisions, even when they don’t turn out the way we hope they will. There will be consequences to every choice we make and no matter what they are, they belong to us. If we’ve been dishonest, childish, foolish, or unwise, whatever results from our actions is our responsibility. Of course, if we make good decisions and act well we will also gain the reactions to those choices. There is no way to skip out on our accountability and nobody gets to dance for free. We may try to ignore our part in our decisions, we may dodge the ramifications or try to hide, and we may even deny we’ve done something. But as in cards, once we’ve played our hand it cannot be changed. We can’t always predict the results of our choices and sometimes things will go awry even if we’ve tried our best. But if we are noble and honest we will manage what comes. We can call any kind of dance we want. We can choose wisely or foolishly, we can help or hurt, but whatever we choose the piper will require payment.

Selfishness never leads to happiness. If we selfishly make choices that only consider our wants or needs with no regard to how they will affect the lives of those around us we may get what we’re seeking but the price may be high. If we pretend to be something we aren’t or lie or cheat, we may fool those around us for a time. But truth is powerful and in the end, it will rise and if we’ve been dishonest our deception will become clear. Those who have trusted us and believed in us will see the truth of what we’ve done and who we really are. If we’ve hurt them badly they may turn away from us and we may lose our connections to them. It’s always wise to make the best decisions we possibly can and when we do, even if we falter, those involved will understand our objectives were noble even if our results didn’t work out.

There are times we might believe we can escape accountability by keeping our actions secret. Secrets only work when nobody figures them out. The problem is there is no secret so perfect or locked up that it won’t be revealed. Time has a way of opening the doors to truth. We might be able to hide for a while but nobody can hide forever. It’s better to make our choices out in the open. We can be honest about our motivations and choose boldly. If we decide to make a bad decision, we may make it and face the consequences. If we decide to embrace wisdom, our road will often be easier. If we choose well, when the piper comes for payment we’ll be ready. There isn’t anything we can’t do well. We deserve to be happy. Living honestly and making good choices will bring us happiness and peace.

Today if you’ve made a bad decision and must now face the consequences, face them bravely and openly. You can resolve any problem you must face and correct your course. Choose wisely going forward and live honestly. You’ll be happier knowing you’re on the right road and you’ll become the person you want most to be.

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Friend Request

10 Feb

A friend is a great thing to have.  They are someone who will rejoice with us when things go well and be in our corner supporting us when they don’t.  A true friend will stand by us through the trials and challenges we face, give us advice, listen when we need to vent, and have our backs when we need them.  It’s wonderful to have them in our lives.  We value them, we love them and we count on them.  But sometimes maybe someone we thought was a friend does something that makes us see them in a new light.  Perhaps they choose something they know will hurt us, or act in ways that are demeaning or critical.  We may always re-evaluate our relationships with them, and if we choose to, may go forward without them.  Being a friend is a wonderful gift but it carries with it the great responsibility of respecting the relationship.  If that responsibility is neglected we may lose.  Losing a friend is disappointing, sometimes heartbreaking, but if our trust in them is broken we may have to continue on without them.  We may step back from any relationship we need to.  We deserve to be happy and if our situation changes and brings us sorrow, we may change our way forward.

Sometimes there may be people who want to be our friends with whom we aren’t comfortable.  Perhaps their lives are very different from ours and we don’t understand them.  Maybe we have seen them hurt others or act dishonestly.  Or maybe they aren’t genuine and often seem to be pretending to be something they aren’t.  There are lots of reasons we may feel uncomfortable around others and if we do, we are not required to allow them close into our lives.  We may be polite and kind, and still walk another way.  There are all kinds of people in the world.  We will relate to some of them and others will remain strangers.  We can choose whom to allow into our lives and how much we will share.  Having friends is a great asset and we can make sure those relationships will bring us happiness.

We all have free agency and can make any decisions we like.  If we aren’t careful or don’t care, we may make choices that break relationships and ruin our friendships.  It’s painful to lose the friendship of someone we’ve shared our lives with but if we’ve chosen something that has hurt them and broken their trust that may happen.  We may try to explain our position in an effort to repair the situation but if the damage is too great it may not be possible to continue forward as their friend.  Every decision we make has consequences which may be far reaching or even destructive.  We know how to make excellent decisions and if we are mindful and careful we will be able to preserve our relationships and find great joy having them in our lives.

Today if you’ve lost a good friend because of something that has happened, determine what is best for you and go forward with confidence.  If you’ve done something that has hurt a relationship with someone you care about, do what you can to repair the loss.  We all want true, honorable friends.  Be honest and caring, and those around you will draw close to you.  Be the friend you most want in your life and you will find happiness.

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Hero Worship

8 Feb

Sometimes we meet people who seem larger than life.  They may be beautiful, talented, and successful and might appear to be close to perfect.  We may believe they are everything we want to be and more.  When we’re with them perhaps we can’t take our eyes off them, or hang onto their every word, and we may think they could never do wrong.  This sort of hero worship can happen to all of us.  While there are some people who have achieved great success, or done things we have only dreamed of, we must remember nothing comes without a cost and nobody is perfect.  Even the most successful among us have shortcomings and personal issues they must deal with.  Although their faults and weaknesses may not be readily apparent, they have them just like we do.  It’s good to admire those who have achieved great success, no matter what that success entails, but it’s important to remember they are just like us.  They may be further down the road than we are, and they may have opened more doors than we have but we are all on the journey together.  We can take from them the lessons that will help us going forward and we can be confident in continuing on our own course to the success waiting for us.

Everyone has personal struggles.  We all pay for our successes in one way or another and even those who seem to have it all have sacrificed something valuable along the way.  Nobody is truly perfect and even when others seem to have it all, there are things we can’t see.  We all have things amiss in our lives and problems we must solve.  Everyone has challenges they must overcome specific to their own circumstances.  We can learn from others’ experiences and they can learn from ours.  Everyone has a unique road to travel and the trials along the way are specific to the goals we are trying to accomplish.  Nobody gets a free ride or a free lunch.  We all have our challenges and issues, and it’s those who refuse to let them overcome the journey who succeed and reach their goals.

Although we may feel others are heroes, the real heroes in our lives are ourselves.  We are the only ones who truly know what we’ve been through, how hard the journey has been, all the detours we’ve had to navigate and the price we’ve paid.  Our determination to continue forward and reach for the next door is heroic and brave.  When we don’t quit and continue to persevere we are courageous.  We can honor the choices we’ve made to stay the course even when it gets hard, and take credit for staying in the game.  If we stay up all night with a sick child, endure a difficult boss, extend ourselves when we feel we have nothing left to give, or share when we don’t have enough, we are heroes.  Choosing to be the best we can be no matter what our circumstance, is the most incredible thing we can do.  And when we make that choice we are the real heroes.

Today if you’ve been admiring someone you think has it all, remember how wonderful you are.  You are the real hero in your life.  You are a blessing to the world and those around you. Remember that today and go forward with increased confidence doing well and changing the world for good.

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The Way Out

3 Feb

We make millions and millions of decisions as we go through our lives and many times our choices take us exactly where we want to go and everything works out.  But there will inevitably be times when we make a bad decision that brings us disharmony, pain or confusion.  There are limitless reasons why this may happen.  Maybe we didn’t have all the facts beforehand, maybe we chose out of anger, maybe we got lost, or any of a number of other reasons.  No matter what caused the bad decision, once we’re in it and realize we’re headed for trouble we may look for a way out.  We might try to find an escape hatch to let us step away before everything falls in.  The desire to escape when trouble is on the horizon is a normal response to threat and if we know disaster is just ahead we may try to divert our course, hide behind something else, or pretend we aren’t involved.  Even if we’re successful in escaping the first wave of trouble, if we caused it, it will catch up to us eventually.  We can look for a way out but the only real way through our problems is to face them head on, and walk right through them.  It will take determination and it may take courage, but there isn’t anything we can’t manage and no problem we can’t solve.  We can admit to our part in the problem and then begin to do what is needed to correct our way forward.  Happiness comes when we live our lives effectively and purposefully.  We all make mistakes and when they result in additional problems we can do what we must to fix them.

Some people hide when they make choices that bring hardship.  They may pretend they weren’t involved, deny their participation, or ignore the problems that arise.  We can dodge the truth but the truth is what is real and will always surface.  If we deceivingly deny our part in the issue we may lose the respect of those around us and create more complications.  It’s best to step forward and honestly admit what we’ve done, and then work to correct the situation.  Everyone makes mistakes but there are no mistakes so terrible we can’t face them.  We have all the courage and wisdom we need to correct our course and turn onto the right path going forward.

If we’re in situations where the choices we need to make are unclear, we can wait until we get the information we need.  We don’t have to rush into decisions if we aren’t ready.  We can prepare ourselves before we decide.  All the information we need to choose wisely is available and we can take time to find it before we make our choice.  We are in control of our actions and even if there is pressure to hurry, if we are not ready to move forward we can step back until we feel confident.  We know how to make good decisions and we are wise enough to choose well.  Success if often a matter of timing.  We can take our time and make the best decisions possible.

Today if you’ve made a mistake and the results are troublesome and difficult, do what you must to fix the situation and move forward with confidence.  If you have a big decision pending and aren’t sure which way to go, take the time you need to get the information that will help you decide.  You have everything you need to make excellent choices.  You are wise and thoughtful and you will choose well.

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Listening and Hearing

31 Jan

In our personal conversations, sometimes what we’re listening to isn’t the full meaning of what is being said. We can listen and listen and still miss the message. There are a lot of distractions, sometimes our personal opinions color what we’re hearing and sometimes we only hear part of the information being communicated. There is a big difference between listening to someone and really hearing what they are saying. Although we may hear the words it may take a while to fully understand what they mean. People are complex and if the message is difficult or painful they may color it with words that muddle the situation. If we want to understand anything and make good decisions, we need all the information. If the message is confusing we can take it apart, ponder it, and get to the truth. Even in complicated situations if we are careful we can hear what’s really being said and then take the time we need to understand the full message. Knowing the complete truth of any situation helps us navigate it more successfully. We can be clear on the message by not only listening but really taking the time to hear it.

Some people talk in circles. They struggle to speak clearly and may go around and around an issue. Perhaps they have an unclear understanding of the message or are intimidated by it and afraid of speaking too plainly. When we encounter these situations, we may get lost as they go here and there, speaking around the information they are trying to relay. We may ask for details but often we must rely on our ability to discern the true message and extrapolate the real meaning behind the conversation. No matter how confusing the story may seem at first, if we take time to think about what’s being said we can find the answers. Once we decide we know what the real message is we may ask for clarification and verify our conclusions.

There may be times when someone speaks to us in ways that are confusing because they are trying to accomplish something and don’t want others to know. Maybe they feel they need to share part of the story but don’t want to give all the details. If they have an agenda that is dishonest or in some way will impact us negatively their words may be convoluted and confounding. If they will not clarify the message we need to find the answers on our own. We don’t have to blindly follow something we are unsure of and we can do what is needed to fully understand any situation before proceeding. We can listen and then discern truth to fully hear what is being said. We are capable of understanding many things and if we are careful we can move forward confident we know the full story.

Today if you’re confused by something that is being said and are struggling to understand, take the time to really hear the message. You are an excellent listener. You will find the truth and the way forward with confidence. There isn’t anything you can’t comprehend. Be confident and be wise. The answers are there for you and you will find them.

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