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Restore Session

13 Sep

If we work with computers, and most of us do, there may be times when the system goes awry and there are glitches. Sometimes as those problems are worked out we may get a prompt asking if we want to restore the session. If we click on it the system will go back to its configuration before the issue started and we can continue on as though nothing happened. It’s great to be able to return to exactly where we were before the hiccup and go from there. When we have problems in our lives it seems it would be wonderful if we too had a “restore session” button we could push. If we did, all the things that went wrong could be forgotten and we could simply return to where we were before it all started. We wouldn’t have sorrows or scars to heal from and we could continue on without a second thought. Of course, that isn’t possible and whatever we experience we carry forward with us. If we got tangled up and entwined in a situation we have to change, we have to find our way out. And all the feelings and emotions we’ve experienced will color our pathway forward. There is no way to escape any experiences we have in life. They become part of us and even if we try to forget, there will always be something that has changed because of them.

After a bad experience we may desperately want to forget what’s happened. We may try to push every thought that reminds us out of our heads, and press forward with dogged determination. We might be successful in forgetting most of it but we will never be able to return to exactly how we were before things went wrong. We change with everything we encounter. Sometimes the changes are far reaching and affect us greatly going forward, and sometimes they are subtler. Everything impacts us in some way. How we manage that will often determine how happy we are. We can change anything but the past. It is there forever. If it’s a bad memory, we will carry it forward but we can find ways to navigate it successfully.

We can learn something of value from most of our experiences. There is generally at least one lesson we can take with us that will help us in the future. We might understand ourselves a little more deeply because of what’s happened. Or we might understand relationships better, or how to give and take more effectively, or we may see where we need to improve to find greater success. Every experience brings lessons to learn. Some of them will apply to us and if we are wise we will take the opportunity to evaluate them and learn from them. Learning from our past can help us prevent repeating old mistakes again and again, and bring us greater success and more happiness going forward. We can learn all we can when things go wrong and if we do we’ll find increased understanding in the future.

Today if you’re going through a difficult situation and wish it would just disappear, you have everything you need to prevail. There is value in struggle and you are learning new ways to cope. Learn all you can from this experience and take the lessons with you going forward. You will get closer to the person you most want to be and happiness will follow.

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Ruined

16 Aug

There may come a time in our lives when we realize we’ve made a horrible mistake. We’ve chosen something that took us far away from where we want to be and the decision has impacted us greatly. We may feel devastated, and shocked at what has happened and where we are. And if the disaster is great enough and far reaching enough we may even believe we’ve ruined our lives. We might think it’s over – we’ll never recover from what’s happened and we’ll never be right again. Moments like that come to most of us at some point. We don’t know everything, we aren’t perfect and we will make mistakes. If those mistakes are disastrous and put us in terrible situations we may feel destroyed. Ruined. But no matter what has happened, no matter how far we are from fixing it, or how much we are impacted by the situation, we are never ruined. Being ruined implies utter destruction – complete annihilation. We are never completely destroyed until we die. If we’re still alive we can find our way through anything no matter how bad it seems.

It can be hard to forgive ourselves when we’ve lost our way and done things that bring us hardship and heartache. Looking back on the situation we understand where we went wrong because we can see all the facts. We may feel foolish and frustrated that we made decisions that brought us failure, and think we should have known better or could have predicted the ending more effectively. But we would never have chosen to fail purposely and we can’t know everything at the beginning. Although we can’t change what has happened we can correct our course and move forward from where we are. It can be humiliating and certainly humbling to falter. We learn as we go and the lessons learned when things go wrong can teach us a lot about how to be successful going forward.

The influence of others around us can be great. If we value them or love them we may listen to their advice even when we aren’t sure it’s what’s best for us. If we follow their suggestions and falter we may blame them for our situation. But we are in control of our lives and responsible for everything we do, influence or not. If we follow along and find failure, we are accountable. Others may be responsible for their part in our demise but our decisions belong to us. Saying it’s someone else’s fault prevents us from owning our part and learning from the situation. We can stand firm and accept a bad decision no matter what it brings. And then we can focus forward to correct our course and find success. There isn’t anything we can’t do and nothing we can’t fix. We are strong and capable and we can modify going forward. We have everything we need to be successful and happy. No problem or detour can keep us from success.

Today if you’re in a terrible situation because of decisions you’ve made face the problem openly and honestly. See where you went wrong and correct your course. You are smart and capable of managing anything that comes to you. This is just a detour and you will find your way around it. You have everything you need and you know what to do. Keep your eyes focused ahead. You will find success and happiness. You will prevail.

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Dealing

9 Aug

There are times in everyone’s life when things go wrong. There will be situations we can’t prevent and events we don’t want to endure. We have little control over what comes to us and no control over the decisions of others. Sometimes things will not be where we want them and there will be nothing we can do to change them. When that happens we have to cope with where we are and what’s going on. We have to deal with the situation as it is. It’s not easy to navigate times like these and we may feel frustrated, angry or sad. But if we really can’t change things we must accept them and walk through them as they are. Disappointments come and when they do we can keep moving forward. We are successful when we cope with difficult times and patiently work through them until they change. We can learn all we can as we go, and effectively navigate our course to the other side.

Learning to deal with disappointment and sorrow takes time. If we are stunned by something that’s happened unexpectedly we may lose our way for a moment. We may need some time to catch our breath and process what’s happened. If our foundation has been rocked, it may be hard to find our footing at first. But no matter what happens if we take our time to think about the situation and look at it objectively we will find our way through it and back to solid ground. We can deal and cope until things change.

Sometimes we think we could never go through certain experiences in life. We don’t feel we could survive extreme disappointments or sorrow, and can’t even think about them. But life continues on and even when we think we can’t go another minute, we do. Even when we think we’ve been overcome, we thrive. We wake up another day and find our way. We are resilient and steady in our ability to cope. If the wind is knocked out of us, we can catch our breath. If we are pushed down, we can get back up. If we are stunned, we can refocus. We can bounce back from anything that shakes us, and we can endure far more than we believe. There is no sorrow or disappointment strong enough or invasive enough to destroy us. We are capable of handling anything that comes and overcome it. We can take whatever time we need to find our way. No matter what happens, we will survive. And we will take the lessons learned and the strength we gained forward with us.

Today if you’re dealing with a difficult situation you cannot change, and you feel angry or upset, keep walking forward. You can handle anything that comes to you. You are strong and resilient and perfectly capable of managing this. You are getting braver and learning more each moment. Keep your eyes on the future. This will pass. Happiness is just around the corner.

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Big Shoulders

22 Jun

As we go through our lives trouble comes to all of us.  We have the regular aggravations that crop up and there are always some sort of complications as we try to do things.  Sometimes we encounter serious problems that are difficult to navigate and if we have more than one to deal with at once, we can feel beset.  They say that in every life a little rain must fall, but if we’re in a deluge of trouble and struggling to get through, it can be very uncomfortable to navigate.  There is a limitless variety of problems we may encounter.  If we have all the skills we need to solve them we get through them more easily than when we are caught unaware and unprepared.  We can’t read the future and can’t be prepared for everything that comes to us but we can be confident that no matter what it is, no matter how hard it is to overcome, or how complicated it becomes we can find a way through.  Nothing will come to us that we can’t figure out.  It might take some time, and we may feel daunted and confused for a while but we will find our way.  If we are confident and calm there isn’t anything we can’t face.

Sometimes we can sense when problems are going to happen.  Perhaps we notice changes that point to complications coming our way.  Maybe we can try to head them off at the pass and solve the situation before it gets too big.  But sometimes we can’t do anything to stop the issue and have to navigate it when it arrives.  There will almost certainly be other people involved when we face difficult issues and although we may have our ideas about how to go about resolving them, their influence and impact may be significant.  If we can’t agree on how to correct the situation it will take longer to let it go.  But we can be patient and clearly give our opinions and advice.  We may have to compromise our plans but when we find a workable answer everyone can agree on we can move forward.

When we have very difficult personal problems it can be hard to navigate the other arenas of our lives.  If what we’re going through is so painful that we can’t concentrate, finding the solution won’t wait.  Our lives are important and our happiness depends our ability to navigate and resolve whatever is holding us back.  Sometimes we may need to reach out for professional help and we can do that.  Or we might want the advice and counsel of a trusted friend.  We don’t have to face anything alone and if we want help, we can find it.  No matter what comes, there isn’t anything we can’t do and nothing we can’t manage.  We are capable of facing even the most difficult of trials, and our shoulders are big enough to carry them.

Today if you’re going through a difficult situation and feel beset by the problem, remember there isn’t anything you can’t do.  You can get help if you need it.  You will find the answers you’re seeking and you will resolve the issue.  You are stronger than you know.  Be confident.  Be brave.  You will prevail.

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Biting Back

29 Apr

Recently there was a news story about a zebra in Africa who while crossing a river was attacked by an alligator.  The alligator bit him and another was circling to take him down but the zebra refused to simply surrender and viciously bit back.  Stunned, the alligator was disoriented for a moment which gave the zebra time to climb out of the river to safety.  This was newsworthy because evidently animals don’t usually bite back at alligators when they are being attacked and generally just try to escape.  But in this instance the zebra was having none of that and fought back to save its life.  In our lives we may never be attacked by alligators but we probably will find ourselves in situations where we feel we’re being attacked by others.  When that happens, just like that zebra, we have a choice to make.  We can simply try to escape the attack or we can fight back.  That doesn’t mean we have to bite anyone, but we can certainly stand up for ourselves and defend our positions.

There are all kinds of people in the world and throughout the course of our lives we will come into contact with a wide spectrum of personalities.  Some people are nice, some not so nice, some polite, some rude – the varieties and expressions are endless.  When we encounter someone who doesn’t like us or something we’ve done we may find ourselves in a situation where we feel we’re being attacked.  If that happens, how we handle it will affect whatever comes after the issue has passed.  If we run from the situation and try to ignore it we may not find a satisfactory resolution.  If we react by maliciously fighting back we may impact the chance for a positive relationship.  We don’t have to take any criticisms lying down.  We can defend ourselves and our positions and we can do it in ways that enable us to go forward with confidence.

If we quietly listen when we are faced with a confrontation and allow the other person to completely state their feelings and concerns, even if they are wrong, it will open the door to communication.  After the complaint has been clearly stated we may respond to the problem and explain whatever is needed to clear the air.  Perhaps we’ve made a mistake and if so, we can recognize that.  If the allegations are false and the attack unwarranted, we can explain our position.  If we are patient and remain calm during the attack our “bite back” will be more effective in clearing the way to resolution.  In all our dealings, resolving conflict will make the road forward easier than if we engage in an all-out battle of wills.  Like the zebra, we don’t have to take any attack without responding.  But if we respond with patience, and quietly explain our position, and if we maintain our personal control, we will move forward more effectively.

Today if you feel you’ve been attacked unfairly, take the time to listen to the issues carefully and respond patiently and calmly.  Ask questions if you are unsure of the problem and explain your position.  You are capable of managing any conflict that comes your way and resolving it.  Choose the best road forward.  Being the best you can be will pave the way for you.

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