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After You

6 Nov

We all want to do things well and shine in our accomplishments. We may want to impress others with our talents and abilities and in order to do that we have to get their attention. Getting attention is generally easy, and if we’re focusing exclusively on ourselves trying to get noticed, we may not even see others around us. We’re honed in on the task at hand and can only see our particular way forward. But others are around us, and sometimes they are working hard to be noticed as well. It’s great to be first, but it’s also good to let others go ahead from time to time. If we take a step out of the limelight once in a while and let someone else step up, we can learn a lot about them, and about ourselves. If we’re used to steaming ahead to the front of the line it may take some thought to step back, but when we do, there is a lot to be gained.

When we’re rushing around from place to place and task to task we keep our eyes trained on the way ahead. As we grab the door and rush into where we want to be we might not see someone standing right next to us. Slowing down just a little and allowing them to pass teaches us patience and helps us remember we aren’t the only person in the world. We can learn to say, “After you,” open the door for someone else, and let them go first. We all have a lot to offer, and if we pay attention we can learn from those around us. If we are so focused on our personal goals and what’s happening in our lives, it will be difficult, if not impossible, to learn anything from anyone else. But we can step back, we can slow down a little, and we can take notice. We can let someone else lead.  Letting them go first doesn’t diminish our accomplishments, and will give us a broader view of who we are.

It’s easy to be selfish and concentrate only on what we want to do. It doesn’t take much thought and we can ignore everyone else if we want to. But extending ourselves a little and allowing those near us to share our lives is important. We can give a little space, offer a little time, and let someone else go ahead of us once in a while. We don’t always have to be first. We can share the light and we can expand our focus. When we do, we build relationships and make connections that will bring us contentment in the long run. Our lives are enhanced when we share them with others, and learning to say, “After you,” is one way to start.

Today if you’ve been pushing ahead, and rushing to get to the front of the line, look around and notice who’s next to you. You are great and have a lot to offer. You don’t have to prove how terrific you are by being first all the time. Everyone will notice you even when you let others go first. Share the road as you go forward, and build relationships. It’s far better to be with friends than strangers, and taking a moment to share with those near you is the first step.

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Different Versions

22 Oct

There are a lot of various situations in our lives, and in each experience we react in a different way. Sometimes we’re having fun and it’s easy to play along. Other times we have to think about a situation to figure out how to navigate it. And sometimes, we may have no idea how to react to something that catches us off guard. While we’re always the same person, different versions of our personality come into play depending on what we’re going through. We have a lot of reactions, expressions, emotions, and displays of affection we draw from every day. We try to always be the best version of ourselves, and often we’re successful. But if the situation really pushes our buttons, the version we display may not be the one that shows our best attributes.

Everyone gets angry from time to time and people disagree. It’s hard to trust those who say they never argue or fight with others. If that’s the case, it seems they either have no opinions that are important to them, or they just go along with whatever is happening. Of course, there are a few who are so evolved they are able to navigate any situation without disharmony, but that is rare. We are all individuals and nobody is exactly like us, so it’s likely we’ll have disagreements with others now and again. When we get upset and something really bothers us, if we jump on it instead of taking a breath and taking time to collect our thoughts, we might say something rude or act out in a way that doesn’t work in our favor. When our emotions are high and we’re angry, if we want the best version of ourselves to come forward, it’s wise to step away for a time until we feel in control.

Defining who we really are, and what we really want takes time. We have to decide what we really believe in, and what defines us. If we are easily influenced by others and impressed by trends, we may just go along and mimic those around us. If we’re timid and shy, instead of expressing ourselves we may choose to be quiet and try to blend in. But determining who we are is important and although others may tell us who they think we are, it’s up to us to decide what’s right. Once we determine what we believe, what we want, and who we are, we can live our lives according to those dictates. We can hold fast to things that are important to us, and be exactly the way we choose. The best version of us is always the honest one. If we live true to who we really are we’ll be happy, and if we stay true to our principles, we’ll be trusted and respected. We can offer our best every day, and we can do it our way.

Today if you’re being pulled one way and another, if you’re being influenced and feel confused or conflicted, think about yourself. Be honest and present who you really are to those around you. You are perfect just as you are. You are unique and valuable. The world is a better place because you’re here. The real you is your best version. Be confident in sharing that.

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Digging Deep

21 Oct

When we go through situations in our lives that are difficult, and are really struggling to get through them, we sometimes think we can’t do it. We might think it’s just too hard, and we can’t manage. If there’s a way, we may try to run from the problem and avoid it. But oftentimes, there is only one way out, and that’s straight through it. We have to face where we are and find a way to navigate forward. At those times, we have to dig deep inside ourselves, pull all the strength and courage we have, and muster all our confidence to push through. Those situations are never easy and we may suffer while we’re navigating them. But while we’re pushing ahead, while we’re trying everything we can to move forward, we are learning more about ourselves and gaining strength even as we expend it. The harder the situation is, the stronger we get as we navigate it. It’s difficult to see the blessing when we’re struggling, but it will be apparent when we turn the page.

There are things that come into our lives that shake us, situations that seem insurmountable at first, and they can make us question our ability to survive. But each challenge, no matter how difficult, brings with it the opportunity to grow and learn more about who we are, and what we’re made of. If life was always easy, and nothing ever went wrong, we would never learn the skills we need to become fully aware and capable. The blessings that come to us when we are struggling are generally equal to the intensity of the struggle. If the situation is moderately difficult, we’ll learn a little. But if it’s very hard, and if it tries us deeply, we will grow and learn more about ourselves than we may have thought possible. We can always do more than we think we can, and we’re far stronger than we often recognize. It’s during times of great duress that we find our true strength and valiance. When everything is seemingly against us and we endure, we find out who we really are.

Knowing what we can do and how much we can overcome brings us confidence. When we’re in a situation that is frightening, and threatening, and our hearts are pounding because we’re unsure, we can still go forward. We can face the situation, and push through it to the end. When we do, we feel invincible when it’s over, knowing we faced the hardships, and despite them, got through. The confidence that comes on the other side of the trial is priceless, and teaches us more about ourselves. As we go through life and face one problem after another, navigate one seemingly impossible task at a time, and discover we can conquer them, we learn there is nothing we can’t face. There is nothing that will stop us. There is nothing that will overcome us. And that knowledge will guide us through anything that comes our way.

Today if you’re facing a situation that seems impossibly difficult, be confident. You can conquer whatever you’re facing. You will find your way through, and in the end, you’ll defeat every obstacle. You are strong and capable of facing anything that comes to you. There isn’t anything you can’t do. Keep moving forward.

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Nonsense

19 Oct

Confusion is difficult to navigate. If we’re confused about a task we’re doing we could ask for help or look up information that will show us the way. If we’re confused about directions we can consult a map or use a navigation tool. But if we’re confused in a personal relationship, it can be hard to figure out what the problem is, and what to do. Most people are honest and forthright, and in relationships, most of us try to be upfront and not deceptive. But there are some people who have an agenda directed at their own desires, and will do whatever is needed to make it happen. Nobody really wants to be involved with people like that, either in a friendship or something closer.  But unfortunately in the beginning sometimes there is no way to know all the facts. Things may start out okay, and then we realize something is amiss.  Maybe what they say doesn’t match what they do, or they don’t follow through on their promises, and hurting us brings excuses but no changes. There’s a lot of nonsense – meaning it doesn’t make sense. When we get caught up in relationships with people like that it’s very confusing. And that confusion can be hard to untangle.

We often have inspiration, intuition, or a gut feeling when things aren’t quite right. It’s good to trust others. It’s good to believe what they tell us, and trust that they’ll follow through on their word. But if they don’t, and it happens repeatedly, it’s important for us to take a step back and look at the situation objectively. We need to look at the facts without reserve or filters. We need to set our feelings aside and look at what is really happening. If we pay attention to the reality of the situation, and let go of all the excuses and explanations, we can clear our minds and find truth. The truth is always available to us when we’re ready to see it. And the truth is what will bring us peace in the end.

When we get confused and things aren’t making sense, we can lose our footing, get tangled up, and keep going around in circles trying to make sense of something that doesn’t make sense. If we keep hoping things will improve and they don’t, we may get deeply hurt. And if we let ourselves be hurt again and again, we may forget how valuable we are, and that we deserve every blessing. Every day is precious and spending it on a situation that hurts us isn’t in our best interest. We are valuable and should be treated with care. If we’re in a situation where that isn’t happening, we need to re-evaluate our decisions going forward.

Today if you’re confused over a situation in your life, step back and look at things objectively. Look at what’s happening as an outsider, and be open to seeing the whole picture. You’ll find the truth and then can decide how to go forward. You are a precious gift to the world. There is nobody else like you. You deserve to be treated well, and with care. Remember how important you are. And then make decisions going forward that will bring you happiness.

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At Odds

18 Oct

When we decide we want to do something, or change something in our lives, the decision often comes with the need to modify our behavior in some way. Making the decision to change may be easier than implementing the necessary adjustments to our behavior to make the change a reality. For instance if we want to get fit but don’t take the time to exercise, or want to be more educated but don’t want to study, we work against ourselves. We are at odds with what we want to do. If we ignore what is needed to implement the change, and instead simply complain about not being successful, we will fail. It’s good to define our goals, but without action to make them happen, we aren’t going anywhere.

Routines give us a sense of order. We know what to expect, we know how we’re going to spend our time, and we feel comfortable in the sameness they offer. When we decide we want to change, it often means we also have to change our routine. We have to vary things and re-order them to accommodate the new challenge. Things may be bumpy for a while as we adjust to the new schedule. We will have to plan instead of just go through the motions, and pay attention so we adhere to the new model. The transition may be uncomfortable but if we keep the goal in mind we’ll get through more easily. After we’ve kept to the new agenda for a while, it will replace our previous routine and we’ll go forward with more confidence.

Change requires effort. Adjusting our routine is important but it’s just one step. We must also adhere to the actions needed to facilitate the change we’re seeking. Once we’ve decided what we want to do we must devote the required time and activity to the goal to achieve it. A half attempt will result in a half success, which really isn’t success at all. If we want something, we are perfectly capable of getting it. But we have to take the time and effort needed to get it done. We can live an easy life and do the same things every day. Or we can determine to get the most out of our time, push ourselves, and dedicate our lives to excellence and success. A life lived fully, and without reserve, brings more happiness and joy than a life lived complacently. The choice is ours, and we need to be sure the choice we make is the one we want the most.

Today if you’ve been trying to make a change and haven’t been successful, review your routine and make a plan to include whatever is needed for you to move forward. You can make any change you want, and you can do it effectively. Plan your actions to find success. Achieving your goals will bring you great satisfaction and confidence. Take charge and do what is needed to get there. You can do this. Push forward and you’ll reach the finish line.

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