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Foreign Territory

22 Dec

Throughout our lives, we go through many changes and adjustments. There are times we face big changes – marriage, the birth of a child, a new career, retirement and others. When our lives are changing dramatically it takes some planning and preparation to help us navigate the next step. If we are excited about what’s coming and happy with the new plan, the adjustments may come more easily. It can be an exciting time filled with fun and adventure. But sometimes big changes in our lives may be threatening. Life is constantly in flux and although we become accustomed to the routine adjustments we make along the way, big turns can make us feel unsure. We can take the time we need to evaluate any new situation, make a plan for moving forward, and take it step by step. We can process any change that comes and if we make a plan for one day at a time we’ll be ready and move forward with confidence.

There is great security in routine. We get used to doing the same things, going to the same places, and seeing the same people. We feel comfortable when our surroundings are familiar. When we’re facing a development that requires great change, even if we’re confident we’ll be fine, actually going through the process of modifying our lives may be unsettling. New situations are foreign to us and even though we know we’ll find our way, it can be disquieting to navigate. There are new patterns we must learn, maybe new people to interact with, and the scenery may be different. When we’re in foreign territory it can be confusing. But foreign territory is only unsettling because it’s new. We can make it ours by embracing it and learning about it. We are strong enough and brave enough to face new situations whatever they require. Change is constant. Big changes may be more complex but we are capable of navigating them and embracing them.

Planning can make any change easier. If the changes we’re facing aren’t sudden and we know about them before they occur, we can take time to evaluate everything we need to prepare and make a plan for going forward. Making a plan will give us more confidence and help us manage whatever details we face as things progress. There will probably be unexpected complications, but we can manage those as they come and do what is needed to address them and get back on track. Change is inevitable. We can manage it well and find success by taking our time, evaluating each needed step forward, and planning our course. There isn’t anything we can’t manage or overcome. We can walk through new doors and face new circumstances with confidence and clarity, and find joy in our new situations.

Today if you’re facing a big change in your life and you’re feeling a little unsure, take time to evaluate all the parameters forward and make a plan. You have everything you need to be successful. Embrace whatever comes and make it yours. This life is an adventure and you are brave enough and smart enough to take it on.

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Magnets

21 Dec

There may be times in our lives when something we absolutely did not want to happen becomes a reality. If we fought hard to prevent it and worked with all we had to turn things another way and still it happened, it’s a stunning defeat. We may be in disbelief and feel lost and disconnected, and not sure what to do next or how to move forward. Now what? How can we possibly figure out how to navigate something we can’t even believe has occurred? Life is unpredictable and even if we do everything we can to make something happen, sometimes we will fail. The certainty of defeat is bitter but we decide our path forward. We can hold a grudge and refuse to comply with the changes that have come or refuse to accept the new reality. But there are better responses when things go wrong and we can find them and use them to confidently direct us forward.

Who we are is more important that what happens to us. We can’t control others or their decisions and sometimes the tide will turn against us. When it does we can fight, and scream and kick against it dreaming that if we make enough noise or push hard enough it will go away. We could demean those on the other side and ridicule them because of their choices, or sequester ourselves and hide out until things change. But none of those options will allow us to move forward and be our very best. Fighting against what has already been decided is a waste of energy and time, and holds us in place. What has happened is done and we must find a way forward. We have great value and our opinions matter, and although our path has been modified, with grace and patience we may influence the way ahead.

Magnets are interesting things. They pull on every metal that comes near them and draw it close without any trouble at all. They don’t push and they don’t force but with gentle, consistent, and unending pull they attract it to them. Metal cannot hold itself back from a magnet. The force is subtle and quiet, but unwavering and unyielding. When we want things to go our way and the road has taken a turn away from us we can turn it back. Like magnets, we can be quiet, gentle and consistent in our message. It’s impossible to resist someone who is kind and friendly, even when their message is different from ours. We’re all attracted to people who are loving and patient, and we will listen to them. There is an old saying, “You can attract more flies with honey than with vinegar,” and it’s true. Nobody wants to spend time listening to a sore loser rant and rave about their point of view. If we continually put forth our message with patience and moderation, we will attract others to our side. And then we can win.

Today if you’re stunned and angry because something went against you, remember who you are and the value of your message. Be kind and patient and others will be drawn to you. You have everything you need to succeed. Share yourself with love and consideration and others will join you going forward.

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Out of Control

19 Dec

Life can be unexpected and we may sometimes find ourselves in situations that are uncomfortable for us. There may be moments when because of situation or circumstance, someone may try to take control of our lives in ways that are difficult to deal with. If somebody else is more forceful than we are and decisions must be made, they may take command and if we don’t speak up we may end up facing things we don’t want to do. And sometimes we don’t have control over something simply because we are outsiders and decisions were made that affect our lives that we had no way to prevent. We all want to control what we do and where we go and often that’s the case, and if we find ourselves having to do something we didn’t choose it can be difficult to navigate. We are in charge of our lives and we may choose what we do. If we don’t want to participate in a decision, we don’t have to. It may be difficult to decline and refuse if someone close to us is adamant that we join in, but if we don’t want to be a part of the plan we can say no. We know what’s best for us and can make any decision we need to ensure that’s what we get.

Some people want to control a lot in life. In group settings, they like to decide what the group will do, where they will go, and what will happen. They often feel they know more than others and their opinions are the best that can be offered. However, we have control over our lives and may take them anywhere we want to go. But our lives are the only lives we have authority over. It is inappropriate and inconsiderate to believe we know what’s best for others. We may have good suggestions and may certainly offer them, but they are suggestions and not orders. We don’t have the right to tell others how to live their lives. If someone wants control over our decisions, we may politely thank them for their ideas and explain that we will decide what is best for us. We are the only ones who know everything about what we’re doing and where we want to go. We know how to choose the best path forward and although the advice of those we care about may be valued, our decisions belong to us.

In our intimate and close relationships, our loved ones may try to control the paths we’ll take. If we don’t comply they may resort to emotional blackmail and coercion to get their way. No matter what anyone else wants us to do or how much pressure they exert we can still choose what’s best for us. We have the great privilege and responsibility of managing our lives and taking them where we most want to go and we don’t have to do anything we don’t want to do. We drive our own personal trains and we know what tracks we want to travel. We can choose well and reach any destination we desire.

Today if someone has been trying to get you to follow their lead and you are uncomfortable, you may say no. You are capable of choosing the very best paths for your life and you know what you want and need. Be confident in choosing for yourself and forging your own way. You have everything you need to succeed and be happy. You know where you want to go and you will get there.

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Tumbling

14 Dec

When problems surround us and we’re overwhelmed, it can feel like we’re tumbling in the surf being rolled over and over again by the pounding waves. The undercurrent captures us and pulls us deeper into the struggle and we tire trying to keep our heads above water. Every moment is an endurance test and there are times when it’s hard to find air to breathe. We fight against the power threatening to crush us and we reach for something, anything to grab onto that will give us sufficient stability to continue on. When our world is in turmoil we may feel we’re careening toward catastrophe and it’s hard to make sense of what’s in front of us. Our vision is clouded by the swirling thoughts of where we are and how we’ll find our way through. Although it’s hard to see an end to the struggle, if we hang on and trust our abilities to navigate whatever has taken hold of us, we will prevail. Even the strongest waves must ebb and in time we will find our way to solid ground again. Life is filled with challenge and trials. They rarely come when we’re ready for them but no matter how deep the water is, we can find our way to the surface and get to the shore.

The old adage of Murphy’s Law that if anything can go wrong it will, sometimes seems to be the rule of the day. There may be times where it seems no matter what we do we can’t win. It’s like we’ve somehow gotten out of sync with the universe. Our friends argue with us, our family is frustrated with us, our jobs are driving us nuts, our cars break down, our faucets leak and we can’t find our keys. One thing at a time is easy to face but sometimes everything seems to go wrong at once. The universe really hasn’t turned against us but we may feel inundated with trouble and exhausted trying to handle it all. When that happens, it may be hard to get through each moment trying to figure out what to do next. But we’ve been through enough trials already to know we’ll survive. We have everything we need to overcome whatever problems arise and if we are patient and take our time we’ll find all the answers we need.

Life is all about change and learning to adapt. It’s a constant process of learning to let go and move forward. When we have a lot of challenges and feel overwhelmed it can be hard to find respite and peace. Every problem that comes brings something we must learn and overcome in order to proceed. Every time we solve a complication we have more information and increased understanding that will help us going forward. Even when we feel we can’t manage, we do. Even we feel we’re overcome, we prevail. There really isn’t anything too difficult for us to manage. Nobody wants to go through heavy problems but we have all the courage we need to do so. Confidence will give us the boost we need to move forward and when we trust in our abilities to cope we will have all the confidence we need.

Today if you’re facing a big problem and feel swallowed up by the tide, grab onto the things you already know and begin forward. You have all the wisdom you need to overcome. You are capable and strong. Press forward and have faith. You will prevail. There isn’t anything you can’t do.

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Falling Rocks

13 Dec

There are a lot of unexpected things that happen to us as we go through our days. Sometimes they are fun and delightful, and sometimes they are a headache that snags up our time and complicates everything. Many times, surprises come without notice and we may be caught off guard, but sometimes there is a warning that something is coming and we should be careful. We may listen to the warning or ignore it and see what happens. In mountainous terrains, there are often warning signs that say, “Falling Rocks” on the sides of the road. There may be steep cliffs and sometimes they have heavy screens over them in an effort to keep rocks from falling on passing cars. The warning sign is not a prediction that rocks will fall as we drive through but a warning that they may. It’s a prompt to make us aware and remind us to keep a watchful eye for what could happen. At the end of the journey if we have navigated through without incident we may forget all about the warning and continue on. But without it in place, as we travel through a possibly perilous area, we would be unaware of the danger. Awareness of any possible problem can give us a heads-up and help us to make wiser choices. If we know that something may go wrong, we may more effectively prepare and be ready.

In our lives, we sometimes get warnings of what might happen to us going forward. Maybe someone advises us to be careful when dealing with someone else, or we hear of a problem in a location where we’re going. There may be times when we feel a silent warning as we prepare to do something and perhaps a prompt that we should do it a little differently. We may feel inspired to take a different road or talk to someone before proceeding. Although we sometimes have no reason to follow a warning, taking a moment to think about it may be wise. There is generally a reason why we’ve received the information and if we consider it valuable instead of just blowing it off we may make better decisions. Being prepared for what may happen will enhance our confidence as we navigate the road ahead.

We can’t live a full and meaningful life if we are afraid. We must be bold going forward and willing to take some risks. Although we may feel some hesitation, if we’ve done everything we can to prepare for the road ahead, we can go forward with confidence that no matter what comes we’ll handle it. Fear is something we all experience from time to time. Some of us have more of it than others, and although it’s wise to pay attention when we feel it, we can courageously plan our steps forward and bravely take them. There really isn’t any situation we’ll face that we won’t be able to figure out. If things go wrong, we’ll redirect our course. If the rocks fall, we can dodge them.

Today if you feel some trepidation about your plans, do what is needed to ensure your path and move forward with confidence. Pay attention to any warnings you receive and choose the best road. You have everything you need to succeed. Nothing will stand in your way. Go forward with confidence and success will follow.

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