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Too Late

1 Aug

There are common conceptions of what people should do at certain stages of their lives. We have ideas about what those in their twenties will be doing, which is a bit different from our ideas about those in their forties. But these ideas don’t always hold true. As our society has progressed, our perceptions about age have changed, and created a more fluid, and accepting environment. We can really do anything we want, any time we decide to. If we missed college after high school, we can still go. If we want to change careers late in life, we can. Outside of physical limitations, there really is no time limit for doing what we want to do. We can wait, or we can start, and we can do whatever works for us.

I have a friend who in her fifties decided she wanted to be dentist. She had a college degree but needed to take some courses to qualify for dental school. So she registered and completed those, and then applied to several schools. She was accepted at a great dental school, and attended for four years. Once completed, she opened her own dental practice, and has been a very happy, and successful dentist for nearly twenty years. Of course, when she first decided to take this journey there were those in her circle who told her she was too old, and it was ridiculous to consider. “Do you know how old you’ll be when you finish?” they asked. Her response was, “The same age I’ll be if I don’t do it.” And so she didn’t listen. She knew what she wanted, and she went for it.

If we really want to do something, even if it’s a big change from where we are now, and if we are physically able to make the change, there is no reason not to proceed. Our lives are ours to dictate and decide. We can do anything we want to. It’s really never too late to make changes if we want them. I know a man who is eighty three. He is still learning and going after goals he sets for himself. He knows he is old, and he knows sometimes there will be difficulties, but he sets his mind and does them anyway. He is a great example. We can do anything we want. It doesn’t matter where we are in life. If we want something, we can achieve it.

Today if you’re thinking about doing something you really want to do but have been afraid that maybe it’s too late, do it anyway. This is your life and you can do anything you choose. Anything. Be confident and go forward. Make a plan and start your journey. Before you know it you will have achieved your goal and great happiness. This life is ours to design. You can do anything you want to. You just have to decide.

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Changing Channels

27 Jul

Studies of the brain show that it takes very little energy for us to change our minds.  In fact, it’s miniscule.  It takes virtually no physical effort to do it, but the emotional or mental effort is another story.  When we’re in a situation we don’t like, when we’re uncomfortable and want to change, it seems like a simple solution – just change it.  But when others are involved, and there are feelings to consider, the solution becomes complicated.  If we want to change a situation or a relationship we’ve had for a while, we want to do it well.  Often no matter how we try to make that happen someone gets hurt, and it doesn’t go as smoothly as we may have hoped.

We are in charge of our lives and we get to decide what we do and don’t do.  If we need or want a change, we are entitled to it.  But usually just waiting for the change to happen doesn’t work.  We have to initiate it.  We have to do whatever is needed to facilitate it, and make it happen.  If others are involved, that may mean a difficult conversation that we may dread.  But we deserve the life we want the most.  We deserve to be on the path that’s best for us, even if it means leaving others behind.  If we take some time to plan, we can do our best to make the change as easy as possible for all concerned.

Sometimes the changes we want to make don’t involve other people, but situations in our lives that aren’t working.  We may want to move to another location because we aren’t happy where we are.  Or change careers to something more fulfilling.  Or we may want to get more involved in some activity we’ve been putting off.  It doesn’t matter what change we are seeking, they all require action.  If we want to change our lives we can do it.  We can change anything we really want to.  We just have to decide when we’re ready, and move forward.  Once we’ve determined to go forward differently, once we’ve had the conversations and made the plans, we can start again.  We can create a new situation where we’re happier.  Change is rarely comfortable, and sometimes not as easy as we’d like, but we can manage it.  We deserve whatever we need to be happy.

Today if you’ve been struggling with wanting a change in your life, whatever it is, begin now to do what is needed to make it happen.  Be confident.  You are in charge of your life, and you can determine what makes you happiest.  Today take the first step to turn things around.  Your life is precious and you deserve to have it your way.  It’s exciting to change things up.  It’s all there for you.  Don’t wait another minute to get to it.

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In For A Penny

22 Jul

Throughout our lives things come up, and we are asked to help out or assist in some way.  When possible we may agree, and offer our service.  Sometimes the tasks are easy and quick, and we are happy to help.  But other times, complications come up that make it harder for us to stick with our commitment.  For instance, say you have a friend who needs help moving furniture.  You agree to assist but when the day set apart for the move arrives, a huge storm rolls in, and it’s pouring rain.  Your friend tells you the move must happen that day, and you dread the chore.  It’s going to be much harder to do in the storm, and you would rather let someone else do it.  These situations come up routinely.  What at first can seem like a simple task sometimes turns into something more.  And when that happens, we have to decide if we’re in, or we’re out.  Even if we gave our word that we’d be there, we may be tempted to back out.

There is an old saying, “In for a penny, in for a pound.”  If we commit to something, we need to be committed all the way.  If we’ve said we would help when the task was easy, we need to stay if the task gets hard.  Commitment is easy for some of us, and harder for others.  But when we say we’ll be there, we need to be there.  We’re either in all the way, or we’re out.  There really is no middle ground.  So before we commit to anything, it would be wise to weigh all the possibilities to ensure we can follow through no matter what.

We’ve all had experiences with people letting us down.  Sometimes they say they’ll be there, but then don’t show up.  It’s disappointing when it happens, and definitely affects the relationship in a negative way.  There is great value in being dependable, and sticking with our decisions.  Of course, there will certainly be times when we say we’ll help thinking it’ll be easy, and then things happen making it more difficult.  What we do then defines our commitment.  Are we in no matter what?  Or do we back out when things go wrong?  It is noble, and right to stay the course.  Remember, who we are, isn’t what we say.  Who we are is what we do.

Today if you’ve made a commitment, and the situation has gotten difficult and complicated, stick with it.  Stay the course.  Be there.  Your friends and family will learn to rely on you, and trust you to follow through.  They’ll know that no matter what you’ll keep your word.  The trust of those we care about is invaluable.  It’s priceless.  Earn it.  Follow through.  Staying true will bring you satisfaction and confidence.  You will never regret making that choice.

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Power Outage

21 Jul
We’re all very busy in this day and age.  We might have family responsibilities, jobs, chores or tasks that never seem to end.  With the technology available to us, we are rarely out of touch with others.  We carry our laptops, tablets, and smart phones with us, and people are continually contacting us.  This constant availability and our continued responsibilities can wear on us.  We can become overwhelmed with fatigue, and get burned out.  And when that happens, everything we do may suffer.  Our concentration is off, our energy level is down, and we’re just going through the motions.
 
When it all catches up to us, and we are burned out, we have to stop.  At that point, stopping is the only way to go forward.  We have to take some time for ourselves, take a break, turn off all our gadgets, and get some respite for a while.  We can, and we should plan time for ourselves every single day.  We can keep our batteries charged instead of waiting for them to die completely if we take a little time for ourselves.  It doesn’t usually take much.  Just a short time for personal pleasure every day – say fifteen minutes in the morning, and then again in the afternoon – may prevent a full blown power outage.  During our down time we could just goof off, lie in the sun, read a book, take a walk or whatever else we enjoy.  We can regroup and rest for a moment before starting again.  We work hard every day.  We do a lot.  We deserve a break, and we need to take it.
 
It takes planning to prevent burn out, but sometimes we don’t take the time to make a plan.  We know if we’re working all the time the crash is going to come, but instead of planning for time out, instead of scheduling a break, we sometimes just keep pushing forward.  There is the next thing on our list that needs to be tended to.  There is that project coming up we’ve already put off twice that must be done.  There is so much to do, we can get lost in the busy-ness of it, and forget we need a break.  But we’re important, and we deserve to be at our best.  We can only do that if we remember to schedule time for ourselves along with the time we’re scheduling for everyone else.
 
Today if you’re feeling burned out, and exhausted, just stop for a while.  Take a break.  Go outside, get away from your phone and your computer, and take a breather.  Give yourself recess.  Take the very best care of yourself.  The time you take to refresh is as important as anything else you will do today.  Take it.  You’ll feel stronger, you’ll have more energy, and you’ll be happier.  You deserve every good thing.  Today schedule time just for you.  You are the most important person on your list today.
 

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Bending

17 Jul

Patience is a beneficial virtue to acquire. If we learn to be patient, we can often understand things more easily, and prevent conflict by listening, and waiting for answers instead of pushing. Being patient is a gift to those we interact with. When we’re patient, others learn they can trust us to listen, and not jump to conclusions ahead of time. Although this is a valuable skill, is it possible to be too patient? Can we give too much? Can we wait too long?

When we’re in a relationship we value, and things aren’t going the way we want them to, we may discuss the issue with the other person, tell them why we aren’t happy, and ask for a change. If they are not ready, they may need time. If we’re patient, we may offer that time in order to preserve the relationship. Sometimes with communication and effort, things improve, and the problems work themselves out. But other times, despite our willingness to wait, things stay the same. Patience will not create change. It only allows time for change to happen. If the situation doesn’t improve after a time, we have to decide if we can wait a little longer, or if we need to move on.

It is possible to bend too far in trying to make something work. If we find the wait is beginning to affect our happiness, we need to rethink the situation. We offer patience to help situations improve, but if nothing changes all the patience in the world will not help. If we bend too far, and give too much, we may find ourselves in a very uncomfortable place.

Today if you’ve been patiently waiting for a situation to change and it’s not happening, re-evaluate your options. Determine how long you feel comfortable waiting, and when you get there if nothing has improved, move on. Patience is a noble attribute, and it’s good to exercise it. But don’t bend so far that you’re miserable. Sometimes even the best changes don’t come. Sometimes we have to let it go, and move on. Today think about that. The situation may be important, but you’re important too. Be patient, and be kind, but remember your happiness is valuable. Do what you need to ensure it.

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