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Big Left Turn

21 Dec

Unfortunately, even though we try not to, sometimes we make a terrible decision. We do something that hurts others and is so egregious our lives are greatly impacted. Sometimes what we’ve done impacts us or others so greatly, nothing is ever really the same afterward. We may not have done it on purpose, or we might have acted willingly if we were angry enough, but whether we meant to or not, once it’s done it can’t be undone. If we’ve made a big left turn and broken the road we’ve been on, our lives will change. If we’ve hurt those we care about we may feel the repercussions for a long time.  Sadly, sometimes a relationship we really cared about is so badly damaged it cannot be repaired. When this happens, once we realize the full impact of what we’ve done, we may feel great remorse. If we’re still angry we might not feel sorrow for a while, but it’s destined to come to us at some point. Since we can’t change the past all we can do is go forward. We have to do what we can to make things right, and forgive ourselves. The road may have changed dramatically and we may feel very unsettled until we figure out what to do next, but going forward is our only option.

There are lots of reasons why we make big mistakes, but in the end, the reasons really won’t matter. The only thing that matters is what we do next. If we’ve lost a valuable relationship we can try to rebuild it. If we are able to regain the trust of the other person, it’s possible we may restore it.  However, if the trust has been broken too severely, we may never have that relationship back. If there’s someone we really care about and we’ve lost them, our only option forward is to love them from afar and let them know we want them in our lives. Over time we all change. Wounds heal, and feelings mend. After enough time has passed it’s possible we’ll be able to start again.

Our lives are fluid and ever changing. What we do today often affects what comes to us tomorrow. The worst decisions are often made out of anger and haste, when we rush to an assumption or try to even a score. We may prevent bad decisions if we stop and give ourselves time to think before we act. We know we should, but in the heat of the moment, sometimes things get out of control. Being out of control never brings happiness and often brings heartache. If we can take some time to breathe and think before we jump, we may figure out a way forward that will not destroy our relationships or the path we want to be on. Only we can decide what we’ll do. We can make good decisions and we can choose wisely.  If we wait just for a moment, and consider where we’re going, oftentimes we’ll make a better and happier decision. Hard times come to us all but we can prevent them from becoming disastrous if we stop and think before we act.

Today if you’re feeling edgy and upset, if you’re angry and determined to get even or make someone pay for some slight you think they’ve caused, stop for a moment before you do anything. There is a lot at stake. Your relationships, your future happiness, and your personal peace are a big price to pay for anger. Don’t pay it. Take a breath. This is just a moment and it will pass. Give yourself some space. The right answer will come and you’ll be in control. Then make the best decision and you’ll go forward with confidence. You know what to do. Today choose the right and peace will follow.

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Clean Living

11 Dec

When we’ve been working outside, gardening or cleaning up, we usually get dirty, and sometimes get completely covered with sweat and grime. As we work hard it accumulates layer by layer until we feel completely filthy. When we’re finished, it feels great to step into a hot shower and wash it all away. Scrubbing off all the effort, and getting back down to our skin feels wonderful, and when we step back out we feel refreshed and rejuvenated. The days of our lives can be like that too. As we go through our various tasks, the jobs we need to get done, the errands we need to accomplish and all the things that keep us busy, we accumulate a layer of this and a layer of that. It’s not always dirt. Sometimes it’s attitude, sometimes it’s regret, and sometimes it’s happiness and contentment. But whatever we’re doing and wherever we’re going sticks to us in some way. At the end of the day, all our experiences, for good or bad, are part of us. The goal then should be to live our lives in ways that the good ones outnumber the bad. There is no psychological shower we can take to wash off bad experiences. There isn’t any magic soap that will take away regret or disappointment, and we carry it all with us from that point forward. But we can learn to live a clean life and gain as many positive experiences as possible.

Living a clean life means making good choices. We can choose to be moral, faithful, and law abiding. We can decide to be kind, helpful, charitable, and forgiving. Every time we choose something noble, we also choose to be happier going forward. If we choose to be faithful, we feel the support of knowing we’re doing what’s right. If we’re law abiding, we don’t have to worry about getting into trouble. If our demeanor and behavior is one of kindness, charity and forgiveness, we will feel peace. For every good choice, there is usually a good result. Conversely, for every bad choice there is often an equally bad result. If we choose badly we might not reap the result immediately, but it will inevitably come. We can determine what we accumulate each day by the choices we make.

Living a clean life means being true to ourselves and what we want most to become. It means choosing the paths that will take us where we want to go. It takes effort to think before we choose. If we jump before we think and make snap decisions, some of them will work out, and some won’t. But thinking for just a moment before we act will help us make the best decisions and when we do we’ll be happier. We can all live a clean life, we just have to decide. We have it in our power. What do we want to be wearing at the end of the day? We can be covered with disappointment, regret, and anger, or we can wear contentment, happiness, and peace.

Today if you’ve been unhappy with the decisions you’ve been making, and feel heavy carrying them around, you can change things. Think about how you want your life to be and how you want to feel. Then make decisions that will bring every blessing to you. You have more power than you think you do. Use it to design your life and at the end of the day, you’ll feel light and happy knowing you’re exactly where you want to be.

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Knock Knock

4 Dec

There are a lot of things to learn and do in this life.  As we accomplish one, we’re ready to move on to the next.  Sometimes we take classes, sometimes we travel, sometimes we read, and sometimes we rely on others to teach us something new.  As we interact with all the people who come in and out of our lives, everyone knows something they can share with us.  When we meet those with the skills we’re looking for, it’s an opportunity to ask questions, and seek information.  But sometimes out of uncertainty, or because we aren’t sure how it will be received, we fail to engage the other person on the subject to discover what they can share.  Opportunity may come knocking, but if we don’t open the door our chance may be lost.

We don’t want to impose on others or their time, and sometimes even when we really want to talk about something, we aren’t confident asking.  Most people are happy to share what they know, and if they can’t do it when we ask, they are often willing to meet with us later.  It’s up to us to open the door and begin the conversation even when we don’t know what will come of it.  They might not be interested in sharing, or they may take a lot of time guiding us, and showing us what we want to know.  But we’ll never find out unless we forge ahead and ask.  We must be confident enough to take the first step.  They say the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, and that’s true.  If we never put our foot forward, we’ll never get where we want to go.

Opportunities may come to us in unexpected ways, and in unexpected places.  We may have a passing conversation with someone who mentions something we’re interested in.  If we ask about it, even if they aren’t the ones to guide us, they may know someone who can share with us.  Or we might see someone doing something that relates to what we want to learn, and we can approach them for information.  For instance, if we’re interested in learning how to paint landscapes and we see someone taking photographs of them, we might strike up a conversation and ask if they know anyone who paints them.  It’s surprising how many contacts we already have and often referrals we need may come just by speaking up.  We can do anything we want to do, and if we pay attention, we can find someone to teach us how.

Today if you’ve wanted to learn something but haven’t done anything to move forward, start the conversation.  Talk to your friends and associates and share your ideas.  Be confident asking if they know about the topic or can refer you to someone who does.  You may be surprised at how helpful others are, and you may find exactly what you’re looking for.  Take the first step on the journey today.  Before you know it you’ll be well on the road to learning exactly what you want, and your life will be fuller and richer because you reached out.

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Pave the Road

23 Nov

As we go through our lives we all have dreams and hopes for things we’d like to happen. But we get busy with everyday responsibilities and those things can get pushed back. Sometimes our lives interfere with our plans, and before we know it, days, weeks, months, even years can slip by and we find ourselves wondering how we got so far down the road and didn’t do what we intended to do. If we aren’t careful we may find ourselves living our entire lives and never accomplishing things we wanted to do. But if we are aware and focus on where we want to go, even if it means we have to wait a while, we can make sure we do everything. We can, even when we’re busy, set things in motion that will ensure we do what’s important to us.  We can begin to the pave the road before we’re ready to walk on it.

Paving a road takes several steps.  First the old pavement must be removed.  Once that’s done a base is laid as a foundation.  Finally the smooth finished layer is applied.  We can pave our personal roads in the same way.  First we may need to remove old patterns or behaviors that will allow us to begin.  Even if we’re busy doing other things we can work on that a little every day.  If what we want to do requires a skill we don’t yet have, we can prepare the foundation by doing what is needed to gain it. Perhaps a course of study is required, or someone to tutor us in the new skill.  Maybe what we want to learn can be gained by researching on our own.  Whatever it takes, once we’ve attained the new skills needed our base is ready, and we are prepared.  We can then go forward and make the change and achieve the goal by applying ourselves.

Learning new patterns, planning for change, and implementing new behaviors require time and effort. There is an old saying that anything worth doing is worth doing well. If we want to bring some effective change into our lives, we must plan to do it the best we can. Our dreams are never mediocre. When we dream of success in anything, we dream we’ll be great at it. Nobody hopes for average performance. When we want something more, something different, or something we yearn for, we want to do it well and master it. If we plan, and remember every single day where we want to go, we can pave the road.  When we’re prepared and ready we’ll reach the goal. We can do anything we want to do. There isn’t anything too difficult or too big for us. If we plan for it, if we prepare, and if we are consistent, we can achieve anything.

Today if you’ve been dreaming of a change you want to make but have been stuck, do one thing that will help you get closer to it. Begin to prepare, start the foundation, and focus on the goal. Be diligent and consistent in moving forward and you will not only succeed, but will master the task and be triumphant. You can do anything. There is nothing that can stop you. Open the door. You can see the road you want to be on.  Start paving.

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Lies, Lies, and More Lies

19 Nov

We can say anything we want about anyone or any situation. We can make up stories about our lives, our successes, our families, our history, or anything else we want to. We can tell people we care about them when we don’t, tell others we’ll call them when we have no intention of doing so, or anything else that pops into mind. There is no truth police except our own conscience and if we ignore that and don’t care about ethics or morality, we can create any sort of life we want to by lying. Some people think there are degrees of lying and it’s okay to tell them if they don’t mean much or don’t hurt others. For instance, if we get invited to a party and don’t want to attend, we could say we have another commitment, even if we don’t. Then we don’t have to go to the party, and the host isn’t hurt because we made up a plausible excuse. Some call those “white lies.” But whatever color we call it, it’s still a lie. And once we’re caught in one, which will inevitably happen, we lose the trust of those around us. Nobody can believe a liar. Nobody will even try.

Instead of telling lies outright, we can do it in obscure and ambiguous ways. We could create confusion and misdirection to mask what is really going on. Although we aren’t outright lying to the other party, we are doing things to keep the truth from them. What about when we tell lies to protect others? If we care about someone but know we can’t commit to the serious relationship they want, we could lead them on and hope that eventually they’ll figure things out on their own. That way we don’t have to tell the painful truth, and they’ll be happy at least for a while. We aren’t really lying with words, but we’re deceiving them just the same. Whether we speak them or live them, lies damage our credibility and our self respect. And will eventually damage our relationships with others.

Is it imperative to be honest in all things? Are there exceptions to the rule? We all have to make personal judgment calls in every decision. But telling lies and living dishonestly complicates our lives. We must remember exactly what we’ve said, who we’ve told, and what we’ve done. Since it’s all fiction, we have to keep our stories straight, which can take a lot of energy and planning if we’ve been lying for a while. It’s far easier and simpler in the long run to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Even if we’ve done something embarrassing or hurtful, it’s best to own up to it and face the music. No dance lasts forever, and no matter what we’ve done we will move through it. Determining to be honest in every interaction will free us from guilt and shame, and the difficulty of untangling lies. People will respect our honesty, honor our integrity, and trust us implicitly. And having the trust of others is a great blessing.

Today if you’ve gotten tangled up in a dishonest situation, you can straighten things out by telling the truth. No matter what has happened already, clear the way by being completely honest going forward. Those around you will learn they can trust you and be glad to interact with you. You are worth more than you can imagine. Honor your value by being as honest as possible. Let others believe you, and depend on you, and be the gift you were designed to be.

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