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Climbing

26 Jul

Every experience we have in our lives teaches us something. Every time we try to reach a new destination or goal we stretch in new ways and learn new things. When we have our eyes focused on where we want to be and are striving for it, sometimes all we can think about is how great it will be when we get there. It’s nice to reach the summit and we feel great when we succeed, but the goal itself isn’t what teaches us. All the work and all the benefit come from the climb to get there. As we take each step up a little further, and push ourselves to continue despite hardship and struggle, we become stronger and wiser. The rocks in our way, the detours that confound us and the missed turns that make us go back and start again are the blessings in the journey. We sometimes forget that and think the blessing lies in reaching the goal. It’s great when we succeed but once we’ve arrived at the destination, the growth we gained to reach it is what makes us who we are. The determination it takes on the road that gets us there is what defines and shapes us. If we can remember that when the road is long or difficult it will help us hold onto our confidence as we push forward.

If we want to be limber and flexible, we stretch our muscles. We pull on them in different ways to enable them to become nimbler and loose. As we do, we develop the ability to reach further and bend deeper. When we feel stiff or sore, stretching helps us loosen up and relax. Just like our muscles, when we stretch what we can do and where we want to go, we are able to reach further and attain more. We learn with every step forward as we loosen up and find our way. If we stay in the same place and don’t try anything new, our lives may become stagnate and stiff. Sameness may be comfortable in its predictability but it can’t teach us anything new. We can reach for something different and try for another challenge. When we stretch our abilities we’ll become more flexible as we learn new patterns and experience new roads. This life is filled with opportunity. If we keep moving forward and learn as much as possible our lives will be rich and filled with growth. We can become anything we set our minds on and we can do anything we want to do.

Sometimes when we reach for new things we encounter difficulty and confusion as we try to find our way. If something stops us, we can back up and try another route. If we are challenged, we can learn to solve new problems and find the way forward. There are few things we can’t accomplish if we want to. If we stop at the first roadblock and decide it’s not worth the trouble, we can return to things as they were and stay the same. We can have mediocre lives if we want them. They are easy to achieve and take little effort. But if we really want true happiness and success, we can try harder and push further to reach it. We are capable of doing anything. There isn’t anything too hard for us. We can fill our lives with incredible experiences and new horizons, and be fulfilled and happy.

Today if you’re thinking about trying something new but aren’t sure, you can do it. You can reach any goal you set your mind to. Climb a little further. And then do it again. You have everything you need to do anything you want. There is nothing you can’t achieve.

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Listen to Me

25 Jul

We know what’s best for us and what we want to do with our lives.  We know where we want to go and what we want to achieve.  Because we are effective in managing our own lives, sometimes we may think we can help others manage theirs.  Maybe we see them making the same mistake over and over again, and decide to give them advice we think will help.  Sometimes we may really have the answers for someone else’s problems, but that doesn’t mean we can tell them what to do.  If we care for them we can certainly offer our help and give them advice that may assist them.  But once we’ve done that it’s up to them to follow it or not.  They might listen to us or they may ignore the advice.  Their decisions belong to them and even if the counsel we’ve offered is helpful, they may choose their own way.  It can be frustrating to see someone we care about stumble when we’re trying to help them but their decisions are theirs to make.  We can’t make them listen to us.  They have the right to choose.  The best we can do is offer our sincerest advice and then let it go.

We can’t possibly know everything about anyone but ourselves and have only an external view of other people’s lives. We can see what they are doing and if they share confidences with us we may have some insight into how they’re feeling.  But we will never know the entire story.  We can’t know their private desires or intentions.  All we can see is what’s on the outside and we can only give advice based on that.  If they want to listen to us they may, but their lives belong to them and every decision they make is their responsibility.  They will make them based on their personal choices and not someone else’s.  Although we may want to help, in the end the choice is theirs.  We are all certainly smart enough to figure out what’s best for us and even if we falter and make a mistake, we can find our way again.

When we put pressure on others to comply with a suggestion we’ve made and it’s something they don’t want to do, they may feel worried and concerned about telling us they don’t want to do what we’re asking.  If we’re very close to them they may be concerned about how a refusal will affect the relationship and how we will respond.  But if they have other ideas about their life and feel confident about them they can clearly decline any suggestion.  We may not appreciate their refusal to go along but we can respect them for standing up for their decisions.  We own our own lives and can manage them and design them any way we want to.  We can do things our way with confidence and grace, and face whatever comes.  If we falter, we will correct our course.  We can give advice and when we get it we may take it or decline it.  The choice is ours.

Today if you feel compelled to tell someone else how they should move forward or how they should do something, you may offer your advice.  You may give sound reasons for why you believe this is the right way for them to go.  Give your suggestions and then let them choose.  They will hear you and appreciate your concern but they must choose for themselves.  Honor that and support them as you move forward.

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Fault Lines

20 Jul

As we go through our lives and make decisions, sometimes we take a wrong turn and make choices that don’t work out.  We might make decisions that take us somewhere we don’t want to go or bring us hardship.  If we are heavily influenced to make a decision and we agree to it and it doesn’t work out we may blame the person who pressured us to comply.  We may say it’s their fault we are miserable.  While it’s true others may strongly influence us and their pressure may be great, if we decide to go along with their request the decision is ultimately ours.  The choice belongs to us and the results of that choice are also ours.  We own them.  We may say we were forced to do something we really didn’t want to do and there may have been great pressure to comply but the choice we make is ours.  There is no way to push the consequences of our decisions onto others.  We may be angry we complied and we may be unhappy with what has happened, but we own the decision.  Of course, those who pressured us have their part to answer for but we direct our own lives and what we choose is our responsibility.

Blaming can be a dangerous game.  If we make it a habit of blaming others or situations for our decisions we may successfully push the attention onto them but it will never change the truth.  If we don’t accept our role in our decisions and say it’s someone or something else’s fault, we can’t learn from the experience.  If we don’t learn from what has happened, we may repeat the whole process again.  The old adage that those who don’t learn from the past are destined to repeat it is true.  If we can’t accept our responsibility for a bad decision we can’t learn the lessons that may keep us from making the same choice again.  Nobody wants a life going from one disaster to the next but if we don’t learn from our choices that may be our experience.

Making mistakes is a natural part of life.  We don’t know everything and we don’t know what we don’t know.  We sometimes blunder through with half the information we need to make a good decision and sometimes we are blinded by promises that are half true.  If we falter and choose something that brings hardship or disappointment and take the time to see where we made the wrong turn it can help us prevent doing it again in the future.  There is great benefit in going through hard lessons and if we are wise we will take the time to learn as much as we can as we navigate them.  Many times we make excellent decisions that take us where we want to go.  We often choose well and are happy with our choices.  We can be confident that if we make a wrong turn we will be able to right our course and go forward with courage.

Today if you’ve made a wrong turn and chosen something that has brought you disappointment or hardship, accept your decision and move forward.  Learn all you can from the experience and be confident.  You are wise and able to choose well.  A setback will not stop you.  Turn your course and continue again.  You will find great success.

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Make it So

15 Jul

There are times in everyone’s life when we have to face things that are uncomfortable or when unplanned difficult developments occur.  It can be hard to adjust to changes when we’ve previously determined how our plans should go and they don’t comply.  During times like those if we face the truth of the situation we often must modify our path going forward.  Things didn’t work out like we planned so we have to turn a little and try again.  Facing reality is important if we want to live an honest life, but if it seems too difficult to face what’s happening or make modifications, we do have another option – we could lie.  We could lie to ourselves and those around us and pretend things are different than they really are.  It’s never wise to be dishonest and the truth eventually catches up us but we may convince ourselves it’s a possible option until things change.  If we are determined enough to make the situation appear to be different than it is, we may believe if we lie enough we could actually change it.  Of course that’s not possible but times of desperation may cloud our judgment and we may decide to try.  We may convince ourselves we can make it so just because we say it’s so.

We all have situations we feel we could never face.  We may believe we could never survive the death of a close loved one, the betrayal of a dear friend, or the loss of something we cherish.  But there really is nothing that will come to us in our lives we cannot navigate.  There may be very painful moments, we may question our ability to continue on, and we may struggle mightily if the event is seriously terrible but we can get through anything in time.  We can face the truth of any situation and we can find a way to successfully go forward.  We don’t have to lie to ourselves or others.  We are strong enough to handle anything that happens.

Lying is a pernicious and destructive behavior.  If we lie once and find it makes our lives easier or gets us something we desire, it will be easy to lie again.  Over time if we make it a continual habit and choose it whenever things become uncomfortable, it will become easier and easier.  It may become second nature and after a time we may not even give it a second thought.  Once established, lying is a desperate habit that is hard to break.  If we allow ourselves to make it an acceptable part of our lives, when we decide to stop it will take real determination to become honest again.  The damage we do when we lie not only affects us personally but can destroy our relationships.  It’s nearly impossible to have a healthy and strong relationship with a liar.  They can’t be trusted and there is no way to know when or if they are ever truthful.  The price for lying can be steep and bring long lasting complications.  The best we can do if we are uncomfortable with anything is to face it completely and openly.  We are capable of seeing things as they really are, accepting them, and navigating them honestly.  Lying is cowardly.  We are not cowards and have sufficient courage to face whatever comes to us.

Today if you’re struggling with something in your life and think lying about it may bring you some relief, remember there is nothing too difficult or strong for you to manage.  You can be completely honest with yourself and those around you no matter what you’re facing.  Face the situation openly and tell the complete truth.  Your integrity is important and you will never regret honoring it.

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Birds of a Feather

14 Jul

We associate with all kinds of people throughout our lives. Some are family, some are friends, some are lovers, some are acquaintances, and some may even be enemies. Except for family situations or times when we must associate with someone because of a job or other activity, we may choose with whom we spend our time. It’s wise to think about the behaviors and choices of those we share our lives with. We all influence the world in many ways and personal influence can be very powerful. If we frequently associate with someone whose choices are negative, they may, over time, become a detrimental influence in our lives. There is an old saying, “Birds of a feather flock together.” It obviously means people who share the same types of preferences and choices tend to spend time together. It’s fun to share our time with others who enjoy our company and like the same things we do. But if we are in relationships with someone who is making bad choices, or whose behavior is destructive and hurtful, and we spend a lot of time with them, we may get hurt. We are in control of our lives but repeated exposure to negative behavior over time may affect us. We deserve to be happy and live with the least amount of complication. We can associate with whomever we choose, but it’s wise to be careful about their influence over us.

Relationships are important and we all want strong, healthy, and happy ones. If we have someone in our lives who belittles us, ridicules us or makes us feel small or unworthy, their comments and actions may have a negative impact on us. If we’ve been in the relationship for a long time it may be hard to find a way out. But we are important and we deserve to be treated well. If we’re struggling with a family member we value but who treats us this way, we can limit our time with them. We don’t have to sever all our ties but we can lessen our exposure. We don’t have to do anything that is uncomfortable for us and we can take care of ourselves and minimize offensive interactions. We can determine how much time negative influences may have in our lives, and we can limit it so we’re comfortable and do what’s best for us.

If we have friends who make decisions and choices we find difficult, we don’t have to participate. We never have to go along just because someone wants us to, and we always have the right to say no. We can be polite and gracious, but if we’re uncomfortable with any situation we can opt out. We don’t have to go anywhere we don’t want to go, or do anything we don’t want to do. Our lives are ours to design and direct. If we have friends who do things that make us uncomfortable, we can tell them how we feel and explain our boundaries. If they can accept our choices, we may continue the relationship. If they can’t accept them, we may do other things. We can change anything we need to ensure we’re happy with what we’re doing and where we’re going.

Today if you’re in a situation that is making you uncomfortable, if someone near you is including you in a decision that doesn’t feel right or is criticizing you and making you feel bad, you may step away. You deserve the life that makes you happiest. You know what feels right. Determine what works for you and follow that. You deserve every blessing. Today let yourself have them.

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