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Guess What

23 Aug

When we talk to others and interact with them, we make judgments about what they say, who they are, and how they feel about us. We interpret their body language, the tone of their voice, and the phrases they use. Sometimes we understand the situation clearly and are able to effectively move forward from there. But because we’re dealing with assumptions based on our interpretations and not facts, we might guess wrong. And sometimes what we’ve assumed is not even close to what is real. When we try to interpret feelings, intentions, and meanings, we need to remember that we are only guessing. We may not, and probably don’t, have all the facts. Unfortunately, we sometimes act on our impressions, and make decisions based on them, and that can lead to problems and complications.

If we’re in a hurry, if we’re stressed, or we have a lot on our minds, we may sound irritated or angry when neither is the case. If we’re overwhelmed or distracted, we may sound bored. We might send out all kinds of mixed messages, and miscues. Instead of communicating clearly what is going on, we could send signals that infer the exact opposite of what we mean. It’s true for all of us. When we are talking with others, we may get an idea about how they’re feeling based on a misinterpreted response. And if we act on what we think is happening, we might get it wrong.

It’s important to clarify each situation before we make any decisions or move forward in any direction. We may ask the other party if what we think they are communicating is indeed what they meant to convey. In our own lives, if we think we’ve sent a confusing message, we can go back to those involved and explain the situation more clearly to be sure they know what we meant. Communication is the key. If we’re confused, we can ask for clarification, and we can offer the same. There is a lot of information being exchanged all the time. It’s important to take a moment to be sure what we think we saw, and what we think we heard was accurate.

Today if you feel confused about something someone said or did, ask for clarification. If you’ve been distracted and unclear in your message, be sure to explain it more carefully. Effective communication prevents a lot of complications and problems. That old saying, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure,” is true. Be proactive. Clarify your message and ask for clarification from others. It doesn’t take much to clear up confusion at the beginning. Do your part. The guessing game can only take you so far. Be sure you have the whole story before you proceed.

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Take It Back

15 Aug

There are times when we may find ourselves in relationships where we’ve lost control over our lives. We didn’t set out to find a relationship that would control us, but one thing leads to another, and suddenly we realize we’ve lost something. We’ve allowed a situation to build on itself to the point that someone else is determining our decisions, and how we live. Often these relationships are painful, and we are hurt. Sometimes because the changes have been subtle and insidious, we don’t realize how hurt we’ve been. But we know we aren’t happy, and something needs to change.

It’s good to believe in others, and put our trust in them unless they show us they are not worthy of that trust. When we are kind and trusting, we can sometimes bend too far and allow someone else to gain too much control. Sometimes it starts by just going along with something we don’t agree with because we love the other person and we want them to be happy. That may change into arguments as we try to be heard, and if the arguments continue over time, we may grow weary, and decide to give in to keep the peace. When that happens, we trade our control for calm. We hand it over to prevent disagreements.

Unhappiness can sneak up on us. If it’s been a gradual decline, and we’ve been unsettled for a while, we may not realize how far we’ve gone. Then something happens that wakes us up. Perhaps a trusted friend reminds us of how happy we used to be. Perhaps we decide enough is enough. Even if we truly value the relationship that’s hurting us, even if we still believe in the promise that things will improve, we will, eventually, have to make a choice. We deserve to be happy. When we are ready, and decide we want more, we will take our lives back. It probably won’t be easy. It may hurt to turn the ship, but we can do it. We are strong, and once we remember who we are, and how strong we are, we will succeed.

Today if you’ve decided to stop hurting, and you are ready to be happy, take your life back. Take it back. You have everything you need to succeed. Don’t listen if someone says you can’t do this. You can. You deserve to be happy. Today turn the ship. You are stronger than you realize. You are worth more than you can imagine. The best of everything is waiting for you.

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Chameleon

11 Aug

We are all influenced by those around us. Sometimes we can be easily influenced by those we really like or admire. If we’re around someone frequently, we may find ourselves repeating certain phrases they often say, or copying their movements, which is a natural response to our involvement with them, and their influence over us. There is nothing wrong with this, so long as the carryover doesn’t keep us from being who we really are, or who we want to be. But there are times, when this influence can affect us negatively. There are all kinds of people in the world, and they will all teach us something. We can be like chameleons, absorbing the colors, the words and patterns around us, and making them our own.

If we have a friend or acquaintance that we admire, someone we enjoy spending time with, and their language patterns are different than ours, we may find over time that we begin mimicking the same patterns. If these are patterns that are derogatory such as excessive swearing or using expletives that are abrasive, we may find the addition to them in our vocabulary works against us. Human beings are adaptable by nature. If we hear something enough, it’s predictable that we’ll repeat it. If we repeat it enough, it may become routine in our everyday speech. If that change is lower than our desired standards, we may find it detrimental.

The same is true if we associate with someone who is extraordinarily kind, and uses words of compassion, and patience toward others. When we hear their tender phrases, we are impressed, and may choose to adopt those phrases into our lives. If we do, we may become more compassionate and patient by our association with them. It’s wonderful to meet people who are able to raise others up by their noble influence. If we have someone like that in our sphere it’s a benefit to learn as much as possible from them, and emulate their words and deeds. If we surround ourselves with people like that, we will be richly blessed.

Today, remember that the people you associate with are teaching you. Pay attention to what you’re hearing, and what you’re learning from them. Choose to spend time with those who will lead you to be the best you can be. We can learn nobility and valiance by emulating those who possess those traits. Today, find those friends, and learn all you can from them. You have so much to offer, and gaining good gifts will help you share more effectively.

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Signs

10 Aug

There are a lot of signs in our lives.  They inform us, caution us, and give us direction.  There are traffic signs, road signs, sale signs, address signs, and many others.  They are helpful, and we see them everywhere.  Exterior signs are useful, but what about the signs in our personal lives?  They pop up from time to time to help us find our way, or correct our course.  For instance, if we don’t exercise and our health starts to suffer, it may be a sign that we need to start.  If we eat too much and our clothes start to get tight, it may be a sign that we need to stop.  If we argue a lot with those around us, it may be a sign that we aren’t listening effectively.  There are a limitless number of personal signs in our lives that teach us, warn us, or make us more aware.

Paying attention to signs is important.  There is a reason they are there, and they are helpful.  But sometimes we get busy, and ignore our personal signs.  If someone we love keeps trying to reach us but we don’t respond, and later realize they needed us and we weren’t there, we may wish we had listened.  If our car makes a strange noise but we’ve got a lot to do so we push it off, and then suddenly it stops altogether, we may wish we had paid attention.  Perhaps we wake up with a headache but are in such a rush we don’t take a moment to see how we’re really feeling.  Then we head out to a busy day, only to be derailed by illness in a very uncomfortable situation, and wish we had waited before we left.  Signs are important, and paying attention to them is equally important.

We can do anything we want with our lives.  We can ignore good advice, we can eat and drink too much, neglect exercise, work constantly, isolate ourselves or anything else we want to do.  Even when we know some things may hurt us in the long run, we might choose to do them anyway.  And when we fail to notice our personal signs, we can find ourselves in uncomfortable situations.  Life gives us a lot of discomfort we can’t control.  It seems wise to try to control the discomfort we give ourselves.  So it’s important to pay attention when we feel reminded to do something, or when there is a sign that we aren’t going down the best path.  When those promptings come, we need to stop and re-evaluate.  Signs are there to help us, to remind us, and to show us the way.  It’s important to see them, listen to them, and consider their significance.

Today if you feel like you’re getting a little nudge to change something in your life, pay attention to it.  Take a look at the issue and determine if you need to change.  Listen to your feelings and inspiration.  Today decide to not just do what you want, but to listen.  You deserve the best of everything.  Do what you can today to achieve it.

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Push and Pull

9 Aug

When we have an idea we want others to buy into, or when we have something we want to do and we need the help of others, it’s important that we are able to convince them to join us. If it’s something we’re passionate about, or something we are sure is right, we may be forceful in explaining why they must join us. We may try to push them into agreeing, or in some way try to make them come along. Even if we have the best idea ever conceived, trying to force others to join us usually doesn’t work. Everyone has their own ideas to offer, and most of us aren’t receptive to someone telling us we have to do things their way. If we try to push people into coming to our side, we may push them away instead.

So how can we get the support we need? If pushing and force won’t work, what will? Imagine trying to push a bulky object up a hill. When we are behind something pushing it, we can’t see what’s ahead on the path. There may be obstacles that need to be avoided in order to succeed, but we’re in the back pushing with all our might, and we can’t see them. When we run into them they impede our progress, making the task even harder than it was. On the other hand, if we are in front of the object, pulling it up the hill, we can see every complication as it comes along, and avoid pitfalls. It’s the same with people. Most of us do not respond well to being pushed. It’s irritating to be told we have to do something we haven’t agreed to. But we can be pulled into an idea if we are informed, and given time to understand why we should join in.

Pulling people in is much more effective than pushing them. Taking the time to explain what the plan is, what is needed to make it happen, and what is being requested helps others understand why they are needed. We can explain why it’s important to us, and then ask – not force – but ask for their help. Most of us would respond more positively treated this way. If we want cooperation, being positive will more likely bring the results we are seeking.

Today if you have something important you want to accomplish, and you need the help of others, pull them in by explaining what your plans are, and ask them to join you. Ask without expectation that they will agree. Ask, understanding they may accept or decline. If you are open and friendly, your demeanor will bring them in. You will be successful in getting the help you need. You have everything you need to succeed already. You can do anything.

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