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2 Mar

There is a lot to learn in life.  We never stop learning new things and when we’re challenged by something new, it may be hard at first to completely understand it.  Learning new skills, whether they are life skills, survival skills, job skills, or others, takes our attention and focus.  But learning a new skill isn’t enough.  After we’ve figured it out, if we want it to become part of who we are going forward, we have to apply it in some way.  We can learn all kinds of new things but until we actually use them we won’t know exactly how they work.  This is clear when we’re studying math.  We learn a new theorem or formula and we understand the process of using it, but in order to fully grasp how it works, we actually have to practice using it to solve problems.  It’s the same with any skill.  What looks easy on paper isn’t always easy to implement in real life.  But with time and effort we can learn new things and apply them in our lives.

Healthy relationships don’t just happen.  We meet someone, we like them, maybe we fall in love with them, and in the bliss of infatuation think everything will go smoothly from there.  But life is complicated and things happen that make seemingly easy situations more difficult.  Even if we know what we should do to navigate them to preserve a happy relationship, putting what we know into action and applying the information isn’t always as simple as it may seem.  There are feelings to consider – something that can never be predicted exactly – and other peoples’ perceptions and decisions may enter in.  If we want to navigate the issue well, we have to take our time and think before we act.  We all want easy, perfect relationships, but unfortunately when dealing with others it’s not always easy, and perfection is something we continually strive for but rarely see.

We are capable of learning new things and new ways to handle anything that comes to us.  Something that worked in the past may not work in the future, and if we want to be successful we need to be open to learning new ideas and then applying them in our lives.  All the knowledge in the world means nothing if it’s never actually applied and experienced.  If we are open to learning new things, accepting different ways of looking at situations, and willing to work on what we’re learning and use it in our lives we will find more success and more happiness.  Life is constantly changing.  Our problems and challenges today will be different tomorrow.  We can stay ahead of the curve and manage everything if we are aware and willing to learn.  We can do anything we want to do.  None of us is frozen in time.  We can change, we can grow, we can learn, and we can be successful in all our endeavors.  There isn’t anything that is too difficult for us to accomplish once we’ve decided we will do it.

Today if you’re in situation that has you confused and you aren’t sure what to do, stop for a moment and look at things objectively.  You have all the skills you need to face anything that comes to you.  Draw on your life experience and apply everything you’ve learned so far.  You can figure out any puzzle.  You are capable and strong, and can manage anything that comes to you.  Start thinking.  The answers are already there.

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Hiding Places

29 Feb

Life is full of challenges. We face some sort of challenge every day and sometimes they are difficult for us to manage. If they seem too hard we might decide that instead of facing them we’ll hide. There are limitless places to hide if we want to. If we have a relationship issue we don’t want to face, we can hide by working long hours so we’re unavailable to talk about it. If we don’t want to see someone, we may hide by creating unexpected complications that prevent us from meeting them.  We can hide in limitless ways when we don’t want to face something. But if we want to be the best we can be we have to be willing to face whatever comes to us. We are capable of managing anything we encounter but we may forget that if we’re threatened or afraid of the outcome.  But hiding never works. All it does is delay the inevitable, and trying to hide indefinitely is exhausting. The best we can do when things get difficult is determine to face them head on, no matter what comes. We’ll have to confront our problems at some point. It’s best to do it when they first appear because aren’t going away until we solve them. We are wise enough, brave enough, and smart enough to face whatever the issue is, and find an acceptable resolution.

Truth is truth and no matter what we do, it will always surface. Looking the other way or pretending it doesn’t exist changes nothing. Hiding from the truth only prevents us from moving forward. If we aren’t moving forward, we’re either standing still or going backward – neither of which will take us to our goals. When things go wrong, or we’re facing developments that are difficult, the only way to get through them is to face them squarely, figure them out, resolve them, and move on. It may be painful, but we are capable of managing pain. It might be complicated, but we’re smart enough to figure anything out, and it might take some time, but as we process the problem we’re moving forward through it. We can handle whatever it takes.

Nothing stays the same in life. Whatever we’re going through today will be different tomorrow. We can’t control the things that come to us but if we proactively face our problems and find workable solutions to them, we can move through them. Once we’ve solved them, we can let them go, and move forward. If we hide and obsess over them instead of facing them, we force ourselves to carry them longer than we must. Carrying problems around instead of solving them gets us nowhere, and can have a negative impact on our ability to be happy. We all deserve to be happy. By courageously facing our problems, and determining the wisest path going forward, we can solve them, and find our peace again. Happiness is a gift we give to ourselves. Refusing to hide even when things get hard allows us to return to happiness as quickly as possible.

Today if you’ve been hiding from something that has been difficult for you, do what you must to take the first step in solving the issue. There isn’t anything you can’t manage. You are strong enough and smart enough to face anything. Face the problem and solve it. Your happiness will return and you’ll feel more confident going forward. You can do anything. Today do your best to move forward.

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Lost at Sea

16 Feb

As we go through our lives we try to do things right. Nobody wants to make a mistake on purpose so at each step we try to make choices that will take us where we want to go. But sometimes along the way we get lost. Maybe we took a turn we thought would lead us somewhere and it took us completely the wrong way. Maybe we got confused about the direction we were headed and fell off a cliff. Getting lost is frustrating and sometimes even frightening. Imagine we are lost at sea in the middle of the day and have no compass or visible landmarks. It’s disorienting and trying to figure out which way to go can be baffling. But getting lost does bring blessings. In the end, it’s all part of finding our way. When we’re trying to accomplish something we’ve never done before or looking for a new destination, getting lost may happen. But it’s not always a bad thing to lose our way and get confused. Sometimes when we’re stuck and nothing is working, we have the chance to clarify exactly what we want, and our true strengths come forward. We never really know who we are until things go wrong. We find out how strong we are when we have to endure, and how smart we are when we make a mistake and have to figure things out. Getting lost is all part of the process of finding ourselves. Nobody gets a paved road in this life. We all have to find our way step by step. And although we want everything to go smoothly, we actually learn more when it doesn’t.

Having an easy life where everything is handed to us seems like a great idea. We wouldn’t have to work hard, we wouldn’t have to struggle finding answers, there would be no confusion, and everything would work out without any effort. But if we didn’t have to work hard, we would never learn to be strong. If we didn’t have to find answers, we wouldn’t learn how to reason. And if we never had to put forth any effort, there would be little value in the things we acquire. When we work hard for something that confounds us and makes us push ourselves, it’s very valuable once we succeed. We know how hard it was to get through and we treasure the outcome. The harder we have to work for something, the more valuable it becomes.  The old saying, “Easy come, easy go,” is true. If we can get something for nothing or little effort, we can easily let it go. It won’t mean much because it didn’t cost us much to gain it.

What we do with our lives matters because what we do makes us who we are. It’s important to decide what we’ll work hard for, what we’ll strive for, and how we determine to succeed. If we want to be capable of greatness we have to be willing to face the possibility of great struggle. If we want to be honorable we have to be willing to make difficult decisions that bring us honor. If we want to be truly honest in all our dealings, we have to be willing to choose the right every time even if it means we lose something else. We can be anything we want to be. If we want to be the very best we can be, we must be willing to do what it takes to get there. That may mean being brave enough to take a new path even if nobody will go with us, and strong enough to believe we’ll succeed even when we get lost. There isn’t anything we can’t do. We are capable of achieving anything is this life. If we are determined there is nothing that will stop us.

Today if you’ve gotten lost trying to find you way, and you’re confused about which way to turn, think about what you really want. Then look around and the way will open up to you. Getting lost isn’t the end of the journey. You have everything you need to succeed and get anywhere you want to be. Correct your course and start again. You will find your way.

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Changing Directions

6 Jan

Being in control of our lives is something most of us strive for. We want to make our own decisions, and live the way that makes us feel happiest and most authentic to who we really are. We have a lot of connections with those around us and sometimes we find that although our relationships start out with a dynamic of give and take, sometimes they change and we feel we are giving more than we are comfortable with. If that happens, we may feel we’ve lost some control over our lives and it can be uncomfortable. If the relationship is important to us we may be concerned about trying to change it or even discussing the issue openly. But just because we may need to modify something in the situation, doesn’t necessarily mean we must abandon it. Being in control of our lives doesn’t always mean we have to stop what we’re doing. Sometimes it just means we have change direction.

Interpersonal relationships are made up of people, and people are complicated. We have all kinds of ideas, emotions, plans and dreams constantly rolling around in our heads. Those complications can make even small adjustments seem bigger than they really are. If we’ve decided our life needs to go a specific way and are adamant about those parameters, relationships may become difficult for us. There is not one true way to live a life happily or successfully. There are limitless varieties, each worth as much as the one next to it. If we decide there is only one way to do things, it may be difficult for us to give in our relationships. Success with others is often directly related to our ability to compromise. After all, the other person’s ideas, emotions, plans and dreams are every bit as valuable and worthwhile as our own, even if they are very different. It’s important to remember that. We all want to feel cared for, respected, and have our ideals honored. Nobody wants to be in a situation where they must do everything somebody else’s way.  There must be both give and take if we want to succeed.

It’s fair to ask for what we want and what we need in our lives. It’s appropriate to make adjustments when we feel those parameters aren’t being met. We can modify our relationships and still succeed at them. We are entitled to live our lives in ways that make us comfortable and if we’re giving too much away, if we aren’t being valued, if we’re being ignored, or if we feel uncomfortable, we can make whatever changes are necessary to create a better situation. Sometimes if the other person is unwilling to change and we are struggling, or if they refuse to compromise, the relationship may fail. But it doesn’t fail because we want the change. It fails because it’s not workable the way it is. We deserve to be happy. If we have lost some control, we can change directions. If those we care about really care about us, they will want us to be comfortable and happy. But we must tell them what we need. When we do, we may be amazed at how quickly things improve, how much better we feel, and how much closer we are because we worked together to go forward.

Today if you feel you’ve lost some control over your life and need to change direction to regain it, you can do that. Tell those involved how you feel. Speak up and explain clearly what you need to be happy. If they truly care about you, they will work with you and help you change things so you are facing the direction that takes you where you want to go. This life is all about adjustments. You can make them and you can be happy.

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Falling Up

3 Dec

When we’re busy and in a rush and focused on a goal, if we go too fast we can miss a step, and see nothing but the road ahead. We may ignore those around us, and even push them out of the way.  Maybe in an effort to get our point across in a hurry we interrupt conversations, or leave a situation too quickly. It might work for a while but eventually our negligence may catch up with us. In our rush to get done, or to finish first, we might fall down. There is nothing wrong with trying to accomplish things, or trying to move up in our lives. But if all we see is the destination and fail to notice what’s going on around us, if we don’t see the journey in our rush to get to the end, we’ll miss a lot. We might get done first, and we might beat the clock, but the damage we leave behind may hurt us in the end. Getting to the goal is only one aspect of where we need to concentrate. It’s important to get to the destination effectively, to pay attention, and not leave a trail of destruction behind us.

Nobody knows everything or can foresee the future. When we’re pushing forward, the person blocking our path may be the very one who has the answers we’re looking for. They may know exactly what we need to do and where we should put our best efforts. If we push them aside and rush past, if we don’t listen when they talk to us because we’re sure we already know what to do, the opportunity for their advice will be lost. We don’t really know where our paths will lead us or where we’ll be tomorrow or next week or next year. The very person who could advise us today, may be our leader, or co-worker, or benefactor tomorrow. If we haven’t taken time to notice them, or listen when they speak to us, and if we haven’t heard their advice, it may damage our relationship in the future. It’s hard for people to trust those who dismiss them. We all have something of value to offer. If we diminish advice when it’s offered, or ignore it completely, we may not get a second chance to benefit from it.

When we want to succeed, and really want to shine, we can try to do it alone, or we can include others in our efforts. If we’re overconfident, and determined to get it done by ourselves, we miss the chance to learn from others. There is more experience and knowledge out there than we’ll ever have by ourselves. It’s in our best interest to reach for it, and then patiently listen when it’s being offered. Most people are happy to share what they’ve learned. Since we only have our lives, and can only rely on our personal experiences, it’s wise to listen when others are willing to share theirs with us. They will be different than ours, and may contain the one piece of advice we need to succeed. If we stop rushing for a moment, and listen, we may be surprised by what we’ll learn. Then instead of falling down when we make a wrong turn, we can fall up as we go the right way. Up or down it’s our decision.

Today if you’ve been doing things your way, by yourself, perhaps take a moment to share your focus with someone else and let them share their experiences with you. Ask for advice. You may learn something that will get you to your goal more quickly and efficiently. Asking doesn’t mean you can’t do it on your own. It means you’re willing to learn. And learning new things is always a good idea. Be open. You have a lot of answers already. Today if you include someone else, you’ll get even more.

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