Archive | April, 2016

Convinced

6 Apr

As we go through our lives there may be times when we’re asked to do things we may not be enthusiastic about or aren’t sure we want to do. It could be something personal, something involving our families, or something in the professional arena. Whatever it is, there may be others who try to convince us we need to do it, or who try to make us do it. Unless the person asking has authority over us we don’t have to comply with any request. But it can be hard to say no when those who want compliance are close to us. They may try to control us or manipulate us into doing what they want. If their influence is strong enough we may acquiesce. But if we do, we may not be happy. When we have feelings for someone, we can be vulnerable. If they ask us for something and we aren’t convinced the request is in our best interest, but do it anyway, it may damage the relationship. We all get to make our own decisions. We can choose anything we like and if we choose things we don’t want, we may have regrets later. If things don’t go well we may say we were made to comply but that’s not completely true. The fact is we are in control of our own lives. If we acquiesce and do something we don’t want to do, we are choosing that path. And when we do, we also choose where it takes us. If we aren’t convinced the decision is in our best interest, no matter who is pushing it, we need to choose what’s best for us.

Influence is a powerful tool. When we love someone we want them to be happy. If they ask us for something we often want to comply. But if they want something we don’t want to give it may be difficult to decide. We can choose anything we like. We can go along even when we don’t want to, or we can decline. If we go along and things don’t work out and we get hurt, we may blame the requestor. However, that’s not fair. We make our own decisions and if we chose to go along, we own the results of that choice. We are accountable for every decision we make. If we don’t want to do something and do it anyway, we own it.

Learning to be genuine and honest in all our dealings takes determination. If we honestly decide what we want to do and where we want to go, there may be times when others disagree. If they want us to go another way and we refuse, they may not be happy. But being honest in every choice keeps us on the road we want to travel. If we take a detour to do something chosen by someone else, we may end up going somewhere we don’t want to go. Although some will be annoyed when we don’t comply, we can respectfully decline any request that isn’t right for us. If we are honest in every situation our lives will reflect what we want most, and take us to the destination we choose. We are entitled to live our lives any way we like. If that isn’t what someone else wants, we can still choose our own path.

Today if you’re being influenced to do something you aren’t sure about you may decline. You have the right to make the best choices for yourself and choose where you want to go. This is your day. You are capable of doing anything you like. Design the life you want most and you’ll find true happiness.

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What It’s Not

5 Apr

Change is an inevitable part of life.  Every day we face new things, learn new ways of managing them, and grow a little more.  We can learn by hearing about something but mostly we learn by doing.  If we don’t know how something is done and we have to figure it out, we can jump in and start.  But sometimes in the process we don’t figure things out by seeing what something is.  Sometimes it’s what it’s not that teaches us.  If our first impressions are incorrect we may not realize it until we’ve been in the situation for a while.  For example, we meet someone who is very brusque and seems to be wrapped up in their own world.  We might think they’re rude or arrogant, but then after interacting with them over time we discover they aren’t like that at all.  First impressions are important but they can be wrong.  It’s easy to believe we know the whole situation from the first moment, but that is rarely true.  We learn about things as we go, and sometimes what we thought was real wasn’t real at all.

We can only work with what we know at any given time.  Every day brings opportunities to learn and if we embrace them, we have a better shot of understanding how things really are.  There may be times when we want our world to look a certain way and don’t want to see the truth, and we look the other way.  We can pretend we are different than we really are, or that the situation isn’t the way it seems.  We can create our own little reality that has little truth in it.  If we do, we may be happy for the moment but true and lasting happiness will elude us.  Momentary bliss will never sustain us over time.  Truth has a way of surfacing and no matter how we try to hide from it, will find us in the end.  If we open our eyes and see things as they truly are we may be uncomfortable for a time but living truthfully is the only way to real and lasting happiness.

When we make judgments and later discover we were wrong we may feel disappointment or sorrow when we learn the truth.  If we were wrong about a personal relationship we care a lot about it may hurt deeply.  When people want something badly they sometimes pretend to be whatever it takes to get it.  If the other person was willing to do or say anything to bring us close, and we discover none of it was true it can be heartbreaking.  We could decide to ignore the truth and hope that in time our dreams will become real, but that may only postpone the inevitable.  It’s best to face the truth – whatever it is – as soon as we discover it.  Sometimes things aren’t what they seem.  Sometimes they are very different.  What they really are is what is real.  We can face whatever it is and we can still find happiness.  There isn’t a road too hard for us to travel.  We can face anything and we can find our way again.

Today if you see that things aren’t as you thought, you can turn your course.  The truth is there to show you the way.  There are endless roads in front of you, and you will choose the right one.  You know more now than you did before.  Use that going forward.  There isn’t anything you can’t do.  You have everything you need to be happy.

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Gathering Light

4 Apr

We have all kinds of opportunities to influence others throughout our lives.  We can be an example of kindness, charity, and love, or something else.  We can do anything we like, but we can’t share something we don’t have.  If we want to share goodness and light, we first have to attain those things for ourselves.  We are born innocent and without guile, but life brings hardship and disappointment, as well as blessings, and as we grow we change.  Although we’re taught as children to play fair, we learn quickly that life sometimes isn’t fair with us.  Those experiences can harden us and turn our innocent trust into suspicion and doubt.  But there is light all around us and we can obtain it to help us become the people we really want to be.  Every time we help someone else, we gain a little light.  Every time we comfort, we gather a little more.  With each selfless act we accumulate tiny rays of light and they become ours.  It’s like a snowball rolling down a hill.  It starts small but as it rolls forth it picks up more and more snow until at the end it’s far larger than when it began.  We gather light as we live valiantly and courageously.  And when we do our blessings increase, and our influence on the world magnifies.

It’s impossible to live on earth and not impact others.  No matter what we think our influence is, sometimes it’s more prevalent than we imagine.  People watch us.  They see our choices, they see what we say, and they see how we behave.  If we are noble and kind, they may emulate us.  And if we are hurtful and mean, they may avoid us.  We don’t live in a vacuum and even when we think nobody is watching, odds are someone is noticing.  Whether we mean to or not, whatever we do we are sharing with those around us.  There is enough wickedness, abuse, betrayal, and hurt in the world already, and we don’t need to add more.  But if we do, it makes us part of the pain we all endure.  It’s far better for us to choose something higher and nobler.  We can choose to be kind, caring, thoughtful, and respectful.  We can help and listen, and be a voice of comfort.

We will never reach a point in our lives where we have enough kindness, enough charity, or enough patience.  We will never have so much light we don’t need to reach for more.  There will always be room for growth.  Dark trials come to all of us and when we feel hopeless and lost, we pray and hope for light.  We yearn for someone to help us and comfort us.  It is far better to become a beacon to others than to ignore their pain and leave nothing behind.  As we become the very best we can be, we can be a bright star in the darkness.  We can be there and bring comfort because we care.  We can be a positive influence in this life.  And when we are, we can change the world.

Today there will be ways for you to help, or listen, or comfort.  Offer a kind word or a helping hand.  You will gather light and as you do those around you will be lifted because you care.  There is light all around you.  Find it.  Gather it and let it shine.  Be an example for good.  The world will be a better place because you did.

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Fair Winds

2 Apr

Everywhere we go and everything we do is changed because we were there.  With every touch, every conversation, and every interaction, we leave a part of us behind.  It’s easy to forget that as we go through each day moving from one task to another.  We’re all sharing the planet together, and even when we think we’re on our own and alone, others see us and hear us, and their lives are changed because we are here.  There is a well know nautical blessing of “Fair winds and following seas.”  To a sailor, fair winds mean an easy and productive day, and following seas push them closer to the safety of the shore.  We can create our own fair winds through our behavior, and when we do, the following seas are the trailing benefits of what we leave behind.  If we are rude and manipulative, or angry and crass, those are the impressions that will follow us.  But if we are kind and patient, pleasant and helpful, that’s what we’ll take forward.  Trouble comes to us all.  Nobody has a life filled with only soft clover and honey. We’re going to have hard times, difficult challenges, disappointments, and sadness.  It’s the natural course of life and cannot be completely avoided.  But what we do when we have challenging times is up to us.  We can hold onto the pain, and become hard and mean, and live on turbulent seas.  Or we can walk through whatever comes and determine to heal in spite of it.  Whatever choice we make will be reflected in our actions and demeanor.

Although difficult times will come, sometimes we manufacture more problems from the way we deal, or don’t deal, with them.  If someone has hurt us, instead of seeing the issue as it is and determining to move forward anyway, we could hold onto the hurt and let it develop into anger, and feelings of revenge.  We could live our lives focused on getting back at the one who hurt us, and let the pain control us.  If we do, we may lose track of everything else and become bitter.  Bitterness will create more problems to deal with.  If we can keep our eyes on the goals we want for ourselves, and focus on who we really want to be, we can move past any pain or difficulty and retain our best attributes.  We can decide to cope with our troubles and find peace knowing we are doing the best we can.  We can impact others for good, we can be kind, and enhance the world and those around us.

Today if you’ve been angry because of something that’s happened, remember who you are.  You have a lot to offer and you deserve to be happy.  Set your sites on the goals you want for yourself and move forward with confidence.  Share the gifts you have with those around you.  Be an example of goodness and light, and you’ll have fair winds and following seas not just today, but every day going forward.

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Owning the Future

1 Apr

Each day of our lives brings challenges and blessings.  We never know what will come and most of us try to do our best in every situation.  We live in the present and although we think about our futures and even plan for them, there is no way to tell how they will actually come to pass.  However, our decisions can impact what our futures look like.  Whatever roads we choose, wherever they lead, if we stay on them we have no choice but to arrive at their destination.  If we’re on a path that will take us to a place we don’t want to go, we can change our course.  If we do nothing, make no pro-active decisions but just let things roll out on their own, and allow others to decide where we’re headed, we may end up with a future that isn’t anything like the one we want.  We can’t control everything but if we do our best to direct our lives we have a better shot at finding happiness.  If we want to own our futures we have to pay attention.  We have make sure we’re going where we want to go and if not, change our direction.  The future will come no matter what we do.  But if we leave it to chance, we may not end up where we want to be.

Every choice has a result.  If we choose thoughtfully how we live our lives, the result will likely be what we’re hoping for.  But choosing to do nothing is a choice as well.  If we sit back and are careless about where we’re going, or too lazy to actually direct our lives, they will roll forward on their own.  Other people’s decisions will direct us one way or another, and instead of moving forward toward goals we want to achieve, we may drift one way, and then another, with no destination in mind.  The years will pass and if we continue, in time we may find ourselves somewhere we never imagined we’d end up.  But if we coast along, being blown here and there by things that happen and have no rudder to guide our ship, we have no direction.  It’s easy to coast along and let others make decisions for us, but that will never take us where we really want to go.

There are limitless ways to live our lives.  Some people are very active and ambitious, others are more laid back and easy going.  The versions and choices are endless.  But no matter what our personal styles are, it’s imperative that we live on purpose, aware of where we are, what we’re doing, and where we’re headed.  In our daily routines it’s easy to become complacent and just go through the motions.  Although every day is different, we pretty much know what to expect.  Unfortunately that can lead to laziness and a lack of initiative.   If we allow complacency to be the focus we will lose our direction. But our lives are ours to direct and we are the ones responsible for where they go.  If we want to own our futures, we have to be involved and actively engaged.  We are in control.  We can determine our direction, and we can succeed.

Today if you’ve been drifting along and taking a backseat in directing your life, pay attention.  This day will pass and where you go tomorrow is up to you.  Make the best decisions that will ensure you end up where you want to be.  You have everything you need to be happy.  Today, do what is needed to make sure you get there.

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