Archive | October, 2015

Popping the Balloon

5 Oct

Confidence is something we all want. For some of us it comes easily. We feel strongly about our abilities and our self-worth, and are naturally confident in what we do and what we say. For others it’s not that easy. We may have scars from people putting us down or criticizing us, or we may feel we are unworthy in some way or another. When confidence comes easily it may seem second nature to us, but if we have to work at it sometimes it’s hard to achieve. If we’re trying hard to feel stronger about ourselves and doing things to build our confidence, it helps to have the support of those around us. But if someone close to us jabs us with a critical comment or says something derogatory, it may stop us in our tracks and send us spiraling downward again. Like popping a balloon, all the air rushes out of our progress and we feel deflated, and lost. But we aren’t balloons, and even though someone is rude or critical, we don’t have to believe what they say. We can let their comments bounce off us, and continue on our journey.

Sometimes a lack of confidence comes from a feeling of not fitting in. There are certain norms in every avenue of our lives. When most people do something a certain way, it becomes the norm. But fitting the norm just means we’re like a lot of other people. If we’re living our lives differently according to our personal desires, and we don’t match up with what’s expected, we’re being individuals. We don’t have to fit anybody’s idea of what we should be. We are entitled to be who we are, even if that’s different from everyone else. Being unique doesn’t diminish our value. Being different doesn’t make us less, but sometimes we can feel that way. It’s important to embrace the person we really are. There are many different colors in the world. Every one of them is unique and every one is beautiful in its own way. We’re the same. We are beautiful and worthwhile just as we are.

Building a more confident feeling of self-worth is a process. We can start by focusing on things we already do well. Maybe we can draw beautiful pictures, maybe we play an instrument, maybe we have an amazing vocabulary, or maybe we’re really good at listening. Everyone has something they do well, and once we identify what ours is, it will build us up as we move along.  If others don’t understand us, that’s okay. We’re all unique and get to design our lives to fit our personal desires. Some people won’t get us, some people won’t agree with what we’re doing, and some people won’t enjoy us as much as we might like. But no matter what others think, we may choose to live our lives any way we see fit.  We can do things our way and we can be confident.  Our way is the best way for us.

Today if you’re feeling like you’re not quite good enough, or like you don’t fit in, remember you are unique and special.  You do a lot of things well. Don’t compare yourself to what someone else thinks you should be. Be exactly who you really are. You have a lot to offer, and you have a lot to share. You are wonderful just as you are. You can do anything, and you don’t need anyone’s approval to succeed.

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Taking Time

4 Oct

We live in a hurry up world. No matter what we’re doing or where we’re going it seems everyone wants us to get something done quickly, or get somewhere in a hurry. We rush from task to task, sometimes barely taking time to think about what we’re doing. While we’re in such a hurry, sometimes before we finish the task we’re on, we’re already thinking about the next thing on the list we need to get done. Others expect a lot from us, and we push ourselves, and cut corners to make things go faster. It’s exhausting and at the end of the day we sometimes can’t remember exactly what we did until we pull our extensive lists out and take a look. This is not the best way to live our lives, but it is sometimes where we are. We get caught up in checking things off our list and don’t notice the day going by. But the day is surely going by, never to return. At midnight it will leave us. The days turn into weeks, which turn into months, which turn into years. And so it goes.

Although it’s important to be successful in getting things done that are important to us, sometimes we fill our days with tasks that don’t mean much in the long run. Menial chores that eat up our time, and distract us from our lives. We can find a better way to manage these things if we take some time to make a plan. Perhaps instead of running around every day trying to get a lot done, we could set some dedicated time aside one day a week to accomplish all the details that clutter up our lives. If we used that block of time only for accomplishing those tasks, don’t answer the phone, and don’t commit to anything else, we can free up the rest of the week for other things – like enjoying our lives. One thing is certain, there is plenty to fill our days and if we’re not careful, our tasks will control our lives. And when that happens we may feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and burned out.

Taking a moment to plan will help us make time for the things that are most important. Time for ourselves, time for our friends and family, and time for rest. Taking time for ourselves helps us stay on track, and adjust our course to get to the destination we want most. Without planning, our days may end up being busy without end. We spend a lot of time in outward activities, and when we’re busy running around we don’t pay attention to what’s going on inside us. But if we take time to regroup and check in, time to listen to how we feel, and what we need, we’ll be more effective and happier. We are the most important people in our lives. We need to acknowledge that importance, and take care of ourselves. We can be in control of our time, our choices, and our responsibilities. Nobody can manage our time better than we can. And when we’re effective in that management we’ll get more done, and we’ll feel more peace in our lives. Taking care of ourselves and our needs is our personal responsibility, and is the most important thing we will do each day.

Today if you’re overwhelmed with all you have to get done, if you’re running around and rushing, and feel stressed, stop for moment. Just stop. Take a breath and think about how you could manage your time more effectively. Make a plan and then work it. You’ll feel more in control, more relaxed, and a lot happier. This life is yours. You can live it any way you choose. Today choose to live it in a way that brings you peace and joy. You deserve all the best of everything. Plan for it, and arrange your time to get it.

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Have Some of Mine

3 Oct

Everyone has different gifts, talents, and skills. We all learn different things as we grow, and some of us are born with special talents. Sometimes we get the opportunity to share those benefits with others. Perhaps we share them by participating in a group project, or maybe by teaching someone something they’re interested in. There are limitless opportunities for sharing if we keep ourselves open. But some people don’t want to share what they have. They want to have proprietary ownership over what they know. In the job force some consider this job security. They believe if nobody else knows what they know or can do what they can they will always have a job. That may be true, but if we don’t share what we have, we don’t have the opportunity to feel connected to those around us. Sharing our personal lives allows us to enhance and build our relationships, and when we give we never lose anything. Like the flame on a candle, we can share our light with an infinite number of people, and still have all we need. We’re just making our experiences wider in scope and building a more expansive field to relate to.

If we keep all our gifts to ourselves, and are stingy with them, we end up isolating ourselves from others. If there are no points of commonality between us and those around us, we end up standing alone. We can hold all our cards close to our chests but that will just prevent others from getting close. Some people prefer their lives that way. They don’t want close relationships and they don’t want to interact with others any more than they must. We all have a different level of comfort in dealing with others, but if we want to feel like we belong, if we want friendships and strong relationships, we have to let others get close to us. We can’t get close by standing back. Sharing with others who we are, and what we know helps open doors. And open doors invite others in, and make us approachable.

If someone near us has a skill or gift we’d like to learn, we may ask them to share it with us. Most people are happy to do that, and as we learn about their particular advantage, we also learn more about them. As they teach us, they learn more about us. We create stronger personal bonds, and become closer in our relationship with them. If they were just acquaintances, the experience may make them friends. If they were friends already, it may create a deeper friendship. We interact with people every day. Bringing them into our lives, and getting closer to their lives will be a blessing to us. When we have a large network of others around us who understand us, and who we can trust, our lives are more comfortable, and we are happier.

Today think about sharing your skills and gifts with those around you. Bring them into your life by opening up and showing them who you really are. You’ll get closer to them, and get to know them more completely. They’ll appreciate your willingness to share and learn to trust you. Build a strong network around you by opening yourself up and letting others in. Your life will be richer, and you’ll feel happier with the friendships you’ll build.

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Snapshots

2 Oct

As we go through our lives, there are memories that stay with us. Sometimes they are etched in our minds forever because the event was so intense – the death of a loved one, the day our child was born, or when we met the love of our lives.  But often they aren’t anything extraordinary but regular days where something unexpected happened or we felt something deeply. We remember a day at the beach when we found a perfectly round pebble on the shore. Or the time we had lunch with friends and the waiter told a joke so funny we couldn’t stop laughing. Or we remember a long walk through a quiet forest and how fresh the air felt. Our minds capture these events like snapshots frozen in time. Perhaps someone says something and a memory comes forward, or we smell a familiar but long lost scent that takes us back, or we see something and suddenly we are transformed back in time to a special moment. Our lives race by so quickly and when we remember a time before now, we have the chance to reflect and see how far we’ve come.

Every one of our days is sacred. We can only live through them one time and then they are gone. But our memories last forever. They are stored close to our hearts reminding us of who we are, and where we’ve been. It’s impossible to remember everything and some people preserve their daily activities by keeping a journal or a diary. Others take lots of pictures and revisit them again and again. And some of us just rely on ourselves to remember special moments. Whatever we’re doing, memories take us back to times before, and help us understand the road we’ve been on. If we let them, our memories will teach us and show us how much we’ve grown.

When memories are painful we may want them to disappear. If they revisit us again and again and we can’t make them stop there may be unresolved issues from whatever happened. The memory may be a reminder that we still have work to do to move forward. If that’s the case, the only way to stop the pain is to face the memory head on and deal with it. Opening old wounds is never easy but sometimes it’s the only way to make them heal. If we can face the pain openly, see everything clearly, and let it wash over us, we can begin to let it go. We have to open the door to walk through it. And then on the other side we can start to move forward again and although the memory will still be there, working through it will help stop the pain attached to it.

Today if you remember a time gone by that brought you joy, take a moment to relive the memory. Enjoy the experience again and be happy. If you remember something that hurts, look at it, and take some time to work through the pain until you can begin to let it go. Your memories are blessings. Painful or joyful, they are proof that you are here. And being here is wonderful. It’s the greatest blessing of all.

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The Road We Travel

1 Oct

Opinions about everything vary from one person to the next. Some people like one thing, and others hate it. We own our opinions and we’re entitled to them. We don’t have to change them even if everyone else disagrees. Opinions about us and the way we’re living our lives may vary. We may have friends who support our decisions, and others who think we’re way off the mark. Sometimes opinions color the way others feel about us, and if they’re negative they can also color how we feel about ourselves. We may live our lives any way we choose to, but if that brings us criticism it may impact our confidence. If someone we care about tells us we’re making stupid decisions, and we should do things differently, we may feel less confident. But just because someone has an opinion about us, that doesn’t mean it’s true. Although we may understand that, a negative comment about our choices or how we’re living can have a strong impact on us.

It’s important to be confident in who we are and what we’re doing. We are the only ones with all the facts about our lives. Those around us can only hear what we tell them, and observe what they see. They can’t feel the things we feel or understand our personal inspirations. Since they have only part of the story, their opinions may be inaccurate. However, if we care about them, their comments may carry a lot of weight, even if they’re the opposite of how we feel. When that happens we may become confused and forget which way we’re going. There are a lot of roads out there, and others may have an idea about which one is best for us. But in fact, the only road they get to pick is the one they’re on. We get to choose the one we travel.

Our lives belong to us. If we want to quit our jobs and join the circus, we can. If we want to move to another country, we can. If want to live alone, get married, eat pie for dinner, go base jumping, or open a tattoo shop, we can. We can do whatever we want to, and live our lives according to our personal choices. Others may disagree with us, or they may support us. But in the end what really matters is that we’re living our lives our way. If we aren’t hurting others, we have the right to do whatever we want to. We can be confident in our choices. Every single day we’re here is a gift. We can’t afford to waste a single moment doing what others think is best for us unless it’s also what we want. Doing it our way is the road to true happiness.

Today if you’ve been told you’re going the wrong way, or should change the way you’re doing things, be polite and thank the giver for their concern. And then determine what’s best for you. You can make decisions that are right for you even if they are different than what others think. Be strong and go forward on the road you’ve chosen. You know what you want and you know how to get it. Today belongs to you. Own it.

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