Archive | August, 2015

The Shore

6 Aug

If you’ve ever been out at sea, away from the shoreline on all sides, it’s nearly impossible to imagine where land is. Everywhere you look, all you can see is ocean. The enormity of the watery expanse is impressive, and although you can’t see it, you know there is land out there somewhere. If you are the one piloting the ship, you will undoubtedly rely on instruments to keep you on course, and get you to the destination. If you’re a passenger, you must rely on the captain to know what he’s doing. You must have faith that you will reach the shore.

Our lives can sometimes feel like we’re at sea and unable to find land. We can drift around searching, and feel lost. We may get confused trying to figure out which way is north, and which way will lead us home. Since there are no landmarks to guide us at sea, we may wait for night to fall, and try to navigate by the stars. The same is true in our lives. If we’re lost, we sometimes have to wait until things are at their darkest before we figure out which way to go. Like the stars in the sky, we have everything we need inside us to find our direction. And when we’re ready, the answer will be there to guide the way.

We can feel lost for a million different reasons. Perhaps there have been unexpected changes that have upset us, maybe we’re facing a serious personal issue that we haven’t quite figured out, or we’ve just decided we’re going the wrong way and have to change direction. Whatever is making us feel lost can be unsettling, and at times even frightening. It’s hard when we feel untethered, floating around with no anchor, drifting here and there without direction. But if we hold on, and keep paddling, if we remain calm despite the confusion and give ourselves time to think, we will find our way. And then inch by inch we can turn and correct our course. We will feel the tide beneath us taking us where we want to go, and we’ll catch the wind that will carry us there.

Today if you’re feeling lost, if you’re unsure about which way is right, give yourself time. Don’t panic or push. Let your mind rest, and the answers will come. You know what’s best for you. You know where you want to go. You will find your way. Nobody knows you better than you. You are the captain of the ship. Be still and you will feel the tide ready to guide you through. Let it lift you, and soon you’ll be exactly where you want to be.

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In the Zone

5 Aug

The other day I lent my car to a friend to run an errand.  He called me asking how to open the gas cover door so he could fill my tank.  I explained that there was a little latch on the floor next to the driver’s seat that he could pull up to open it.  But he said he was looking at that area and there was no latch.  I was sure it was there and asked him to look again, to which he replied, “I’m looking at the floor next to the seat and there is nothing like that.”  Unable to figure it out, he returned my car and asked me to show him the latch.  To my utter surprise when I looked in the car, there was no latch.  What?  I have owned this car for several years, and have filled the tank hundreds of times.  And then it came to me – you just had to push on the door to open it.  The phantom latch I was remembering was on a rental car I had driven recently.

I was dismayed by this experience.  How could I have forgotten something so basic that I do so often?  Well, it turns out, it’s not that hard.  We do things automatically, without thinking, and when they are part of our regular routine, we can get so used to the action, we are hardly aware of what we’re doing.  We go on auto pilot.  If I had needed to fill my gas tank, I would have automatically opened the little door.  But trying to access that information to share with someone else outside of the situation didn’t happen.  I never paid much attention.  And so, it never really became part of my conscious awareness.

We can do a lot of things on auto pilot.  We can go through our lives, go through the motions, and basically zone out.  We have our routines, some things are pretty predictable, and we fail to pay attention.  It’s something we all do.  We can go about completing our mundane tasks like drones on a mission.  But if we pay attention, if we decide to be involved and aware, we will get more out of our experiences.  There are so many people who come in and out of our lives we may ignore.  The cashier at the grocery store, the guy who makes our coffee every day, the crossing guard at the school we pass each morning, and others.  They are part of our lives, and taking just a moment to give a friendly wave, say hello, learn their names and build a relationship with them, will enrich us.  We have become an isolated society paying more attention to our smart phones than those around us.  But we can change that.  Every person we meet has something to offer, and each one is unique and special in some way.  If we extend our hands, say hello, zone in, and participate, our lives will be richer, and we’ll feel more connected to our world.

Today try to zone in.  Try to pay attention to those around you.  Say hello, introduce yourself, get to know the people you interact with regularly.  Be aware, and open up.  We are all connected to each other.  Don’t ignore those you come in contact with.  Today, engage them.  You’ll make new friends, and your life with be richer.

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Finding Peace

4 Aug

There are a lot of ups and downs in life. Sometimes it goes easily, and sometimes not. When we’re disappointed about the way things are going, we can find ourselves unsettled, and upset. If we’re unhappy with where we are, or what’s happening, and we desperately want something to change, it’s hard to find peace. Although we may want a change, there are times when we have no control over the issue. Nothing we can do will move it along or transform it. At times like those, it’s hard to be comfortable. We may feel impatient, and frustrated. But sometimes we have to endure things as they are, even if they aren’t the way we want, or need them to be. Eventually things may improve but until then we’re stuck. And we aren’t happy.

There is a lot we can change about our lives if we want to. We have control over what we do, and how we react. But we don’t have any control over the decisions of others. Unfortunately when someone in our circle makes a bad decision, or a decision we don’t like, and it affects us negatively, it’s hard to accept. We may fight against it. We may argue and disagree. But in the end, the only decisions we can control are our own. And sometimes that means we have to take what comes, even if it’s not what we want.

It’s helpful to remember that acceptance can bring peace. We don’t have to like a decision that’s hurting us or making us uncomfortable, but we can understand that it’s been made and we can’t change it. If we can’t change things, we have to accept them as they are. It may take time to get to acceptance, and we may have to overcome anger and disappointment, but once we decide to let it happen, we can relax, and let the stress go. We can find a way around the problem, and we can move forward. Acceptance will bring us peace – not always happiness, but peace. And peace is important in our lives.

Today if you’re struggling with something that is making you uncomfortable and you don’t have the power to change it, work on accepting the situation as it is.  Let it go, let yourself relax, and find peace. You deserve a happy and peaceful life. Acceptance will help you find it. Take a breath. Let go. And then move forward.

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The Rest of the Story

3 Aug

Sometimes our interpretations of situations are skewed because we don’t have the whole story.  We may hear one side of things, or we may be basing ideas on what we think we’ve seen.  There is an old saying, “Believe half of what you see, and none of what you hear.”  It’s wise advice, but sometimes because the source telling us a story is someone we trust, we may believe them.  And if they have only half the information, we may be way off the mark.  And seeing isn’t always believing.  What we see may be a small part of a bigger picture.

People are complicated, and sometimes situations are complicated too.  What at first may seem to be obvious can turn out to be something completely different.  If we make decisions based on what we think is happening, without first getting all the facts, we may make mistakes that hurt us, or others.  Everyone knows the rumor mill cannot be trusted.  Some of us love intrigue and suspense, and sometimes when people repeat a story, they embellish it.  Before we know it, the entire scenario barely resembles the truth.  It’s like the telephone game we played as children.  Nothing is ever the same after it’s been filtered through several people.

It’s best then to try to get the facts from the real source instead of those reporting on it.  That’s not always possible, and if it isn’t, we should let it go.  Many people have been hurt by rumors that started out with a segment of truth, only to be blown way out of proportion to the point that they no longer resemble what happened at all.  Getting the rest of the story before we believe or repeat anything is imperative.  This is true in our interpersonal relationships, and in every other facet of our lives.  We need to get the truth before we go forward.  If that isn’t possible, we need to let the story go.

Today if you’ve gotten involved in a rumor or story that’s floating around, stop until you can verify all the facts.  Don’t take a chance on hurting someone by repeating something you’ve heard, or interpreting something you think you’ve seen.  We are all connected to one another, and we have a responsibility to ensure we don’t injure each other needlessly.  Be wise, and be careful with what you repeat, and what you interpret.  Those around you are important and they will value you, and trust you when you care for them.  Caring isn’t always sharing.  Sometimes caring is keeping it to yourself.

 

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Leaving a Mark

2 Aug

No matter what we experience in this life, good or bad, it leaves a mark on us. We are the sum total of our experiences. Everything we see, everything we do, everything that happens to us, all leaves an impression on us. There is no delete button. It’s all there. Over time we may forget something, and then someone says a word or phrase, or we smell a specific scent, and the memories come rushing back. But even if we’ve forgotten something we’ve experienced, it’s still inside us like indelible ink. We can’t remove anything from our pasts. But we can learn to let our experiences teach us, and help us become the people we want to be.

When we have heartbreak, and disappointment, it’s hard to see anything positive from the experience. But in processing the sadness or anger, we can develop new coping skills which we can draw on later. When we have joyful times and everything is going well, we can draw on the contentment, and satisfaction we feel during more stressful times. Every experience teaches us something new, and if we pay attention we can make the most of the learning.

During difficult times, if we want to, we can be filled with resentment, be jealous when others are doing well, be angry because things haven’t gone as we’d hoped, and hold onto grudges. These decisions will not allow us to grow. Resenting hard times is a waste of energy. Hard times come to us all. If we get stuck in resentment and jealousy, focusing so hard on someone else’s life and decisions, we may forget that our lives are going by. And holding onto a grudge prevents us from moving forward. Instead, it’s best to learn everything we can from our experiences, good and bad. This life rushes by in a moment. If we want to learn all we can, we have to value each experience, and each mark it leaves on us.

Today if things are going well and you’re happy with your situation, rejoice and embrace it. Hold the happy feelings close and remember them. If things are difficult and you’re struggling to get through, learn all you can from the experience so when it’s over you’ll have something positive to draw from. Whatever you’re experiencing, make the mark positive. Grab all the good you can, and take it with you. Focus on what you’re learning, and move closer to the person you want to be.

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