Archive | August, 2015

Snowflakes

26 Aug

The first snow of the winter season is magical. It’s exciting to see the beautiful white blanket as it begins to cover every surface. If we go outside we may see snowflakes as they land on our coats, and marvel at the unique design, and loveliness of each one. It’s amazing to see each flake perfectly formed and different. There are no two flakes the same, but they are all snow. They share the same molecular structure, but their outward designs are completely different. We’re the same way. We are all different but we are all people. We all share the same basic human structure, but our appearances and everything else about us is unique and different.

If you live on one side of the world you may look a certain way. Your skin, your hair, and your eyes may share a commonality with others in your region. But if you fly to the other side of the world, you may be the only one who looks like you. There is endless variety in the human race.  Even identical twins aren’t completely identical. There are subtle differences in their appearances, and certainly differences in their personalities. Every single one of us is a unique work of art. We are one of a kind. There has never been, nor will there ever be, anyone else exactly like us.

Although there are a lot of outward differences, as part of the human race, there are things we all share. We all need to breathe, we need to eat, and we want to love and be loved. In every culture we love our families, and we want to be safe and happy. We may not look alike, we may not speak the same language or share the same customs, but we do share the human experience. No matter where we go, a smile is welcome, and sadness needs comfort. Like snowflakes, we are all different, but we are made of the same things. We are all part of the human family, and we’re all in this together. If we remember that when our differences get in the way, we may more easily find common ground and work things out.

Today, remember that like a snowflake, you are wonderful and unique just as you are. You’re an individual with your own exceptional talents and gifts, and you are part of a huge family. We are all connected in more ways than we realize. Our connections to each other are important, they are valuable, and they matter. Honor them.  We’re all together here for a purpose.  Remember that when problems come up, and think about the connections you have to those around you instead of the differences.

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Coming Up Short

25 Aug

We all want to feel strong and confident, and able to face whatever comes our way. We try hard, we work hard, and we hope we have what it takes no matter what comes. Nobody likes feeling impotent and weak, but none of us is perfect and there are going to be times when we will feel overwhelmed, and unable to cope. We tend to be harder on ourselves than we are on others. We expect to be able to do whatever is needed, when it’s needed, and do it effectively and well. When we can’t accomplish that, we might feel bad, and we may think we’ve failed.

We all have shortcomings. We have some things we do well, some things we do very well, and some things that trip us up. Nobody is good at everything. We want to do everything well, but sometimes that’s not possible. So we have to learn to be patient and understand we all have weaknesses. We can learn, we can grow, and we can develop new skills that will help us move forward. We are able to change anything we want. But while we’re learning something new, we need to accept that it’s not going to happen overnight. It will take time, and generally it takes more time than we want.

Accepting ourselves as we are is important. Where we are is fine for today. But we aren’t frozen in time, and we aren’t stuck with the patterns we have. We can move forward, and we can change to become anything we want to be. If we’re not happy with a facet of our personality, we can change it. We can work on it and practice a new behavior until it becomes second nature, and part of who we are. It takes focus and time, but nothing is impossible if we want it enough. We have to be patient. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and we aren’t going to change in one either.

Today if you’re disappointed with where you are, if you want more, or if you want to be different in some way, begin doing what is needed to change. You are capable of doing anything you want. You can be happy, you can feel confident, and you can be strong. You have all the tools you need. You are capable of great things. Set the goal and start walking toward it. Before you know it you’ll be where you want to be. This is your life. You are the artist and you can design it any way you want. Whatever you design will be perfect for you.

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Healing Time

24 Aug

We all get hurt sometimes. We can be hurt physically and it takes time to heal. If we are hurt badly it may take a long time to heal. With our bodies, how long it takes for us to recover is often directly related to the level of impact. If we get a bump on the head, we may be fine in a day or so. If we get a concussion, it could take a long time before everything is better again. The same is true with our emotions. If we get our feelings hurt, we might recover pretty quickly, but if we get our hearts broken or someone betrays us, it takes longer to heal. Great wounds can take a long time, and sometimes we may think we’ll never fully recover.

Human beings are incredibly resilient. We are flexible and can adapt to almost any situation. That doesn’t mean adapting is easy, it just means we can accomplish it. But while we’re figuring out how to cope, it may take a lot of strength, and courage just to face our days. Even though we know intellectually we’ll eventually solve the problem, and put it behind us, there may be times when it can seem impossible. When we are devastated, sometimes we feel like there’s no hope. But that is an illusion. There is always hope. Given enough time, we will heal, no matter what we’re facing.

It’s hard to be positive when we feel bad. It’s hard to look forward and see the possibility of happiness again. It’s hard to trust ourselves to open the door to new possibilities. But everything is life changes. Nothing is permanent except death, so if we’re still alive we can do whatever we need to. Today may seem bleak and dark, but tomorrow the sun will rise, and we will continue to move closer to where we want to be. Eventually our distress will ease, and our confidence will return. One day we’ll realize we feel happy again. No matter what we go through, no matter how hard it is, we will move through it. Nothing is permanent. Everything will change.

Today if you’re trying to get through a difficult time, if you feel hopeless and lost, remember this is just one day. Even if it’s a bad day, it will only last for this one day. Tomorrow will be different. Keep going forward. There isn’t anything you can’t handle. There isn’t anything you can’t overcome. You are as strong as you need to be. Time is on your side. And time will heal everything.

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Guess What

23 Aug

When we talk to others and interact with them, we make judgments about what they say, who they are, and how they feel about us. We interpret their body language, the tone of their voice, and the phrases they use. Sometimes we understand the situation clearly and are able to effectively move forward from there. But because we’re dealing with assumptions based on our interpretations and not facts, we might guess wrong. And sometimes what we’ve assumed is not even close to what is real. When we try to interpret feelings, intentions, and meanings, we need to remember that we are only guessing. We may not, and probably don’t, have all the facts. Unfortunately, we sometimes act on our impressions, and make decisions based on them, and that can lead to problems and complications.

If we’re in a hurry, if we’re stressed, or we have a lot on our minds, we may sound irritated or angry when neither is the case. If we’re overwhelmed or distracted, we may sound bored. We might send out all kinds of mixed messages, and miscues. Instead of communicating clearly what is going on, we could send signals that infer the exact opposite of what we mean. It’s true for all of us. When we are talking with others, we may get an idea about how they’re feeling based on a misinterpreted response. And if we act on what we think is happening, we might get it wrong.

It’s important to clarify each situation before we make any decisions or move forward in any direction. We may ask the other party if what we think they are communicating is indeed what they meant to convey. In our own lives, if we think we’ve sent a confusing message, we can go back to those involved and explain the situation more clearly to be sure they know what we meant. Communication is the key. If we’re confused, we can ask for clarification, and we can offer the same. There is a lot of information being exchanged all the time. It’s important to take a moment to be sure what we think we saw, and what we think we heard was accurate.

Today if you feel confused about something someone said or did, ask for clarification. If you’ve been distracted and unclear in your message, be sure to explain it more carefully. Effective communication prevents a lot of complications and problems. That old saying, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure,” is true. Be proactive. Clarify your message and ask for clarification from others. It doesn’t take much to clear up confusion at the beginning. Do your part. The guessing game can only take you so far. Be sure you have the whole story before you proceed.

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Returning Kindness

22 Aug

Recently while driving around completing some errands, I came upon a car stopped at a green light. I could see a white haired woman at the wheel, and I waited a moment before I tapped my horn to prompt her to drive forward. I was stunned when she looked at me in the rear view mirror and furiously lifted her middle finger at me flipping me off. It was so rude, and so unexpected. While she was still looking at me, I smiled and waved. She then hit the gas and took off. I’m pretty sure she was angry at me for blowing my horn – as evidenced by her indelicate response – but I have wondered how she felt after seeing me return her insult with a smile.

People do lots of things, and sometimes they don’t make the best choices. The woman in the car didn’t need to be rude to me for tapping my horn, but that was her choice. I could have returned an insult right back to her. I could have flipped her off, or just laid on my horn to annoy her. If I had done that, all I would have accomplished was to prove I could be as rude as she was. And I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to do something better, so I returned kindness for her behavior. I have wondered what she thought of that. Did she regret her actions after seeing my smile and wave, or did she just get more angry? I will never know. What I do know is that I chose what was best for me.

Choosing what is best isn’t always easy. It’s hard to be kind to someone who is being cruel. It’s hard to return consideration when someone is being mean, and it’s hard to be polite when someone is being rude. But we make our own choices, and determine our own paths. It’s easy to give back bad behavior when we get it. It doesn’t take much energy to send the negative and nasty right back over the net, but what does that bring us? If we want to be the best we can be, we need to set our sights higher. Anyone can be rude, hateful, and mean. That’s easy. Setting the goal to return kindness in the face of those things is hard, but it defines who we are. We set our own standards, and we can decide what we’ll do. If we set them according to what’s best for us instead of where someone else has put them, we can become the people we want to be. The choice is ours.

Today if someone is rude to you, if someone is mean to you, or if someone hurts you, before you respond think about choosing kindness. Return the behavior that most defines who you are. Reach higher, and choose what is best for you. You will never regret a good decision. Today, fill your day with them and you’ll be closer to the person you really want to be.

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