Tag Archives: Change

Auto Pilot

30 Aug

Often our lives are very busy and we have lots of things to get done.  We might have a list of tasks to accomplish or be in situations where there are constant developments that need our attention.  When we’re working hard moving forward and accomplishing things we may step into a sort of auto pilot role.  We may finish one thing and then immediately begin the next without much thought.  If we aren’t paying attention to what’s going on we may make mistakes and take turns that bring complications and problems.  We can’t go back in time and if we create an issue that complicates our way forward we will have to solve it before we can continue.  The time spent correcting our course and cleaning up a mess cannot be recaptured.  Auto pilot is great when there are parameters set up to allow things to go well but in our lives if we don’t pay attention we may falter and stumble.  Even when we’re busy and pressed to accomplish much we can step back for a moment to ensure we plan our next steps effectively.  The old saying that “haste makes waste” can apply.  We don’t have to hurry to be successful.  We can be wise and careful, and still accomplish everything we set out to do.

Some people are great planners.  They may have several calendars to post their projects and tasks on, electronic reminders to alert them when something is due, or composed daily schedules that allocate time for each endeavor.  Planning is great and is a useful tool but planning is just a way to organize our tasks and doesn’t allow for unforeseen complications.  Nothing is set in stone and often things happen that impact even the best designed plans.  When complications arise, as they inevitably will, we can adapt to the changes and modify our course going forward to complete the task.  Change is constant and being willing to adjust our trajectory will allow us to address our needs and find success.

Life is unpredictable and sometimes something we want to accomplish isn’t possible now.  Perhaps the timing is wrong, or others who need to be involved are otherwise occupied, or we don’t have all the information to proceed.  There are few times in life when we are subject to unchangeable deadlines.  If we need to set something aside for now, we can.  It doesn’t mean we’ll never get it done, it just means we plan to accomplish it at a later time.  Being willing to adjust our timeframes and continue forward will help us complete all the tasks we desire and continue forward with success.  We can be flexible and change our parameters whenever we need to.  Things will change and the opportunity to complete every task will arise.  When it does we’ll be ready and able to move forward.

Today if you’ve got a lot to accomplish and you’re rushing from one item to the next, take a moment to think about how you want to proceed.  You are capable of doing great things and accomplishing much.  Give yourself time to plan your next step forward and be confident and aware.  You can do anything and do it well.  Success is always there for you and you will gain it.

Bending

17 Jul

Patience is a beneficial virtue to acquire. If we learn to be patient, we can often understand things more easily, and prevent conflict by listening, and waiting for answers instead of pushing. Being patient is a gift to those we interact with. When we’re patient, others learn they can trust us to listen, and not jump to conclusions ahead of time. Although this is a valuable skill, is it possible to be too patient? Can we give too much? Can we wait too long?

When we’re in a relationship we value, and things aren’t going the way we want them to, we may discuss the issue with the other person, tell them why we aren’t happy, and ask for a change. If they are not ready, they may need time. If we’re patient, we may offer that time in order to preserve the relationship. Sometimes with communication and effort, things improve, and the problems work themselves out. But other times, despite our willingness to wait, things stay the same. Patience will not create change. It only allows time for change to happen. If the situation doesn’t improve after a time, we have to decide if we can wait a little longer, or if we need to move on.

It is possible to bend too far in trying to make something work. If we find the wait is beginning to affect our happiness, we need to rethink the situation. We offer patience to help situations improve, but if nothing changes all the patience in the world will not help. If we bend too far, and give too much, we may find ourselves in a very uncomfortable place.

Today if you’ve been patiently waiting for a situation to change and it’s not happening, re-evaluate your options. Determine how long you feel comfortable waiting, and when you get there if nothing has improved, move on. Patience is a noble attribute, and it’s good to exercise it. But don’t bend so far that you’re miserable. Sometimes even the best changes don’t come. Sometimes we have to let it go, and move on. Today think about that. The situation may be important, but you’re important too. Be patient, and be kind, but remember your happiness is valuable. Do what you need to ensure it.

Backing Up

27 Jun

Within our wide circle of acquaintances, friends, family, significant others, co-workers, and others we meet all kinds of people, and personalities. Some are easier for us to relate to than others, but each brings different types of behaviors to interact with. Sometimes we have interactions with people who struggle with various issues. Perhaps they have an anger problem, maybe they are shy, there may be substance abuse issues, or aggressive tendencies. Whatever we run into, when we are with them, we find ways to navigate whatever they’re going through. Because we care for one another, if someone has a particular problem that complicates things, we might feel we can help. It seems like the right thing to do to try to help.

Helping others is always noble. It’s generally a good decision, but some problems cannot be helped by others. We may find ourselves constantly working with someone over an issue, giving advice, trying hard to show them ways to work things out, but nothing changes. When they complain about the situation, we may offer suggestions, or try directing them to sources that may help. Because of our concern, over time we may find that we feel some ownership for their problem. We may get too involved in it, and try again, and again to make them see what we think will work.

True change never happens because someone tells us we need to change. It only happens when we decide we want to change. Nobody can do it for us, and the best advice in the world will go unheeded if we are not ready to receive it. When we are trying to help someone else, we must remember that. We cannot change anyone but ourselves. Despite our best intentions, we cannot make anyone see the light, and turn their lives. Even if the answer is plainly obvious to us, we cannot make anyone else see it. It has to come from them. The best thing we can do is to let them do it their way. If they come to us for advice, we may offer it, and then we need to let it go. Since it’s not our issue, we can’t solve it. We can be supportive, we can be caring and kind, but we cannot make anyone change anything in their lives. When they are ready, they will do it themselves.

Today if there is someone close to you that you’ve been trying so hard to help with an issue, remember all you can do is offer your support, your best advice, and your care. The problem is theirs to solve. You cannot fix it for them. They must work things out themselves. Be there for them. Be a true friend. When they reach for you, offer your hand, but let them make their own choices. You are valiant, and kind, to want to help. Continue to be there, but remember the problem is theirs to solve. They know you’re there. And being there for them is the best you can do.

Turning It Around

5 Jun

Sometimes we have bad days. They just happen. We’ve all experienced them, and when they come around it’s a pain to navigate them. There are days when it seems that from the moment we get out of bed in the morning, everything goes wrong. We trip over something trying to get dressed, we spill something on our clothes before we leave home, we can’t find the car keys, the car won’t start, there’s a school bus in front of us taking FOREVER and we’re running late – you get the picture. We’ve all had days like this. When they come we may want to just forget it, go back home, and get back into bed. Nothing is going right so what’s the point of going forward?

Even on awkward, difficult days like these, there are things that go right. They can be hard to see amid what’s going wrong, but there are some good things happening. Let’s start with the basics – we’re still breathing, and that’s good. We still probably have some friends, and that’s good. There is probably food when we’re hungry – always a good thing. And despite how it feels, we probably will survive the day. The chances of two really bad days in a row are slim. Tomorrow will come, and this day will be just a memory. We just have to get through this one.

When things go awry, especially if we have the added stress of commitments we must make, time schedules we must keep, and appointments we can’t miss, we may feel beset, overwhelmed, and frustrated. All of those emotions may show in our behavior, and be visible on our faces. We may become impatient, irritated and short with others. We may gripe, and complain. But we can turn things around. If we want to, we can change our attitudes, and despite all the annoyances, we can still be positive.

The fastest way to fix a negative feeling is to smile. Just smile. Sounds strange, but the act of smiling will lift our spirits. Even if we don’t feel like smiling, just doing it will make us feel better. Not a fake smile, but a real dazzler. We can think of something we love, and just let it bring joy to our faces. And if we smile at someone else, and they return one back to us, we’ll feel even better. If we keep that going, pretty soon, despite the things that are confounding us, our attitudes will improve, and we will turn that bad day around. Things may falter and continue to annoy, but we’ll take them as they come, and we’ll be fine.

Today if things are going wrong, if you’re sure the universe has turned against you, if it seems that nothing is working, take a breath and smile. Just smile. Smile at yourself in a mirror. Smile at those around you. You don’t have to say anything – just make your face happy. You’ll be amazed at how much better you’ll feel, and when we feel better, everything changes. You have so much to offer. Don’t let the small calamities lock you down. Look up. Be happy. It’s just a day, and no matter what comes, you can make it great.

Tipping Point

20 May

We go through a lot of experiences in life. We interact with lots of different people, do lots of different things, and process continual changes. We get used to our routines, and we cope with problems as they come up as best we can. Sometimes though, we get into situations that are increasingly difficult, and although we may cope with them for a while, over time they may become unmanageable. Since these situations almost always involve another person, we may dread addressing the problem, so we put it off. We deal. We cope. But eventually we reach the tipping point – the place where things have to change. We can’t do what we’ve been doing any more.

Sometimes that point of no return triggers intense outbursts as we finally say all the things we’ve been holding in. Other times, it triggers isolation. We hide out hoping the situation will just change on its own. That never works, but when what we have to face is painful, we might try it anyway. In the end, we have to look at the problem, and chart a different course, painful or not. There is no other way. When we’ve reached the end of what we can handle, things must change.

These experiences are difficult. If we must end a relationship, someone is going to get hurt. Even if we must only make changes in a relationship, someone may get hurt. The hurt isn’t intentional. It’s just the way it is sometimes when change is necessary. If we’ve waited too long, and get angry, we may say more than we intend to, so it’s best to start the conversation before it goes that far. If we can resolve the issue without anger, the process will be easier.

When we reach these times in our lives, we must be honest, tell the whole story, and put all our cards on the table. We need to say everything respectfully, and clear the air. And then we need to make the best decision for going forward. This process is never easy, but once we’ve said it all, once we’ve told the whole story, once we’ve been completely honest, we will be able to start again. We will be able to relax, regain our footing, and face a different future.

Change is always difficult. Endings are rarely easy. But remember each ending is also the beginning of something new. Once we’ve faced a difficult issue and resolved it, we can start over with confidence. The tension will be gone, and although we may be shaky at first, soon we’ll settle in, and be strong again.

Today if you find yourself at a tipping point, and absolutely must change something, don’t look away. Face it. You can manage this. Keep your head up, keep a smile in your heart even when it hurts, and know that you are in charge of your life. Be brave. You deserve everything you need. Go get it.