What if?

28 May

Have you ever had a near miss where the hit would have been devastating? For instance, a car pulls right in front of yours, and you have to slam on the breaks, and just before you hit it you stop. Or you slip going down the stairs, and at the last minute are able to grab the rail – just in time. Or maybe you’re at a ball game, and a wild ball whizzes past your head just as you bend forward. Near misses. What if you hadn’t been able to stop, and you hit that car going so fast? What if you had fallen all the way down the stairs to the tile floor below? What if you hadn’t bent over just as that baseball came flying at your head? Near misses are frightening. Looking back at them on the other side can shake us. We wonder, what if?

Our lives are filled with “what ifs.” A thousand things could go wrong. If we think about all the possibilities of what could end in disaster, and how many things could misfire and lead to destruction, we may begin to wonder how on earth we’ve survived for so long. Everything can turn in a moment. In a fraction of a second, everything could change. It’s unsettling to think about, but thankfully, so far, we’re still here.

In our lives we can become complacent. We have our routines, we do our stuff, we take care of things, and generally we don’t  really think about the risks of what could go wrong. If we thought about every danger that could happen, it could keep us from moving forward. After all, we really can’t be successful at anything if we’re afraid of everything, so we just soldier on, and try not to think about the “what ifs.” We assume that everything will pretty much work out, and most of the time it pretty much does. But sometimes it doesn’t. And then everything changes. We can’t predict what is coming our way. We can only deal with it when it arrives. And sometimes the “what ifs” happen to us all.

There are no guarantees for any of us. Since we don’t know what lies ahead, perhaps we shouldn’t take a single moment for granted. Perhaps we should be more thankful for each day we have that goes well. Every single day that we get to do what we want, every single day that things go well, every single day that we survive – we should be grateful.

Today, think about all the blessings you have in your life. There are a lot of them. Don’t take any of them for granted. We have a lot to be grateful for. Nobody knows what tomorrow will bring, but you have today. It’s a wonderful gift to have today. Don’t forget that. Make it count. And don’t forget to be thankful for it.

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You Never Know

27 May

Some years ago I had a neighbor who loved her flower garden. She found great pleasure in planting lovely flowers around her home, and was always scouring the greenhouses for something new. One year, she had three children in college, and her budget was very tight. She told me she couldn’t afford to buy anything new for a while, including flowers, which was disappointing. But she said she would be fine because her garden was full and beautiful already, and it was.

One day I saw her sitting on her front porch, and walked over to say hello. She told me she had just returned from the store and had seen some gorgeous, double blossom, red hollyhocks she just adored. “I wanted them so badly,” she told me, “but I just can’t spend the extra money right now. When every penny counts you have to count every penny. It was so hard to walk away! They were so beautiful!” She laughed at how much she wanted the new flowers, and we sat and chatted for a while.

Later that summer I saw her in her yard tending her lovely garden, and I walked over to see her. She was on her hands and knees weeding, so I joined her, and together we began cleaning out her flower bed. I saw a thick, green stalk growing out of the soil and wasn’t sure if it was a weed or not, so I asked her about it. She looked at it, pondered for a moment, and said, “I don’t know what it is. It looks like celery.” I thought, “Celery? Does that grow wild?” Since we weren’t sure what it was, we decided to let it grow, and see what happened.

A couple of weeks later, my neighbor appeared at my door all excited. “You have to come and see!” she exclaimed. I had no idea what the excitement was all about but she grabbed my arm and pulled me along until I was in her yard. When we got there she pointed at her flower bed and the “wild celery” we had let grow. There before my eyes was a tall hollyhock stem with bright red buds all over it. “How did that happen?” I asked her. “I don’t know,” she said. “I just came out to do some weeding and there it was. It’s a double blossom, red hollyhock! Just like the one I couldn’t buy at the store!” I stood there staring at the plant, in wonderment. We laughed, and she said she figured it got there from seeds blown by the wind, or maybe bird droppings had planted it for her. Whatever brought it, she was beyond delighted.

As time went by, that one hollyhock became a whole flowerbed full of gorgeous red blooms. Every time I passed her house and saw them I thought about how they just appeared out of nowhere, and to someone who wanted them so badly. She lovingly tended them, and gleefully told the story of how she got them again and again.

We never know what will come to us in this life. Every day brings surprises of one sort or another. Some surprises are difficult, but some are wonderful, like my friend’s hollyhocks. Every day has potential for something new to come to us. Today, look for a surprise that may come your way. It may be quiet, so you’ll have to listen, and it may be small, so you’ll have to watch. But there will probably be something surprising for you if you just take the time to notice. This life is a wonderful gift. Every day is a blessing. And perhaps the best surprise of all is that we get to have another day to enjoy it!

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Kaleidoscope

26 May

I took a walk outside today, and as I walked I noticed all the many different green leaves on the trees. There were dark green ones, light green ones, some that looked bright, some that were dull, and the new ones were almost fluorescent. It really is amazing the number of greens there are in nature. There isn’t just one generic green – there are dozens and dozens of shades and hues. And incredibly, they all seem to match.

As I walked along I also noticed many flowers in all their glory. There were roses in several different shades of pinks, reds, yellows and whites, pansies in purple and gold, petunias in every color imaginable, and delightful tiny blue phlox. There were more colors, and more flowers, than I can possibly name, and I was just walking through the neighborhood.

As I ran around completing my errands later, I looked up at the sky. We have a storm rolling in so there was a bright blue background with enormous fluffy white clouds, backed up against a menacing gray that crept closer and closer. And not just one dark gray, but many different shades. I marveled at the range of colors in the sky, and I thought of how many times I hadn’t looked up and noticed. And I realized what a blessing color is our lives.

We take a lot for granted here on planet earth. Every single morning, without fail, the sun rises in the east. If you’re lucky enough to watch it, you may see a dazzling kaleidoscope of colors. Reds, yellows, and oranges bursting forth on a background of pristine blue. And every single evening, without fail, the sun goes down, and again puts on a glorious show filled with incredible colors. This happens all the time. And each time it’s amazing.

And then there is the miracle of the prism that brings us those delightful rainbows we all love to see. I saw a double rainbow last month. I couldn’t take my eyes off it. It was beautiful. Completely beautiful. The arches were perfectly matched. The colors were intense and gorgeous, and I was spellbound. Such an amazing sight resting there above us, quietly waiting to be seen.

Color – something we see every day, and take for granted. But color is a miraculous blessing to us all. Think about it – what if everything was just differing levels of gray. The world would look completely different, and it would be much less joyful to be outside. But it isn’t gray. It’s filled with glorious, perfect, beautiful, amazing colors. So many colors, it’s impossible to name them all. So many shades, so many hues, so many wonderful differences. It’s amazing.

Today as you go about your life, look around. Look at the miracles around you. Marvel at the glorious colors provided for you here on earth. Take it all in. It blesses our lives in many ways. Do you have a favorite color? Today, while you’re running around, see if you can find it. I bet you will!

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Take Heart

25 May

It’s a wonderful thing to fall in love with someone. We become aware of another person in ways we may never have dreamed possible. We think about them constantly, wonder what they’re doing when they’re not with us, hope to see them soon, and start to make plans. Our heart jumps when we hear their voice, and when they smile at us, the whole world seems to stop. We are consumed with thoughts of them. We can’t imagine being without them. We adore them, they delight us, and make us so happy. We’ve never been so happy.

But sometimes, something goes wrong. They turn, and decide they want to go another way – without us. They leave, and we are left broken, and bereft. We are devastated, stunned, sad, in disbelief. We feel hopeless. How can we go on? We love them so much. We need them. How is it possible they don’t feel the same about us? It’s horrible. We feel horrible, and for a time we don’t believe we’ll ever be right again.

I have a close friend who went through this some time ago. The woman he loved was everything to him. He talked about her constantly, and told me of his plans for the future with her. He loved her deeply, and couldn’t imagine ever being without her. But she decided she wanted something different, and she left. He was devastated. I sat with him as he cried. He said he didn’t think he could survive without her. He just didn’t see an end to the pain.

When we are in times of great despair it seems as though they are permanent. We think nothing will ever change, and we’ll never be happy again. But the only thing permanent is death. Everything else changes. It’s the nature of life. Even if it feels like the end for us, it’s just a passage. As I sat with my grieving friend, and listened to his sobs, I reminded him of this. Although he felt completely ruined, he was just going through a difficult passage. It wasn’t the end of the road. It was a change. A very painful, gripping, sad change, but still just a change. I told him he would navigate it, and he would survive. At the time he didn’t believe me, but time has gone by, and he has survived, and moved on. He is happy again.

When we are brokenhearted – truly brokenhearted, it can feel like our lives are over. It can be hard to breathe, much less see a future where happiness will ever be a part of our lives again. When we feel so horrible, we may be surprised that life goes on, the sun still comes up, and time still goes by. How can the world continue it’s relentless march when we are frozen in pain? It’s hard to see around the corner. It’s hard to face the days. Everything is hard. But it’s not permanent. The pain will ease. Things will get better. Happiness will return.

Today, if you are brokenhearted try to remember that. This isn’t the end for you. This is just a passage. You will get through it. You will survive, and you will be happy again. Take it moment by moment, and hold on. You will get stronger.  You’re still here. The road is still before you. There is hope, and happiness ahead. Have faith. All is not lost. All is not lost.

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Not Happening

24 May

There are times in everyone’s life when we want something very much. If it’s something we feel would be good for us, something that would make us happy, something that would make our lives better, we hope for it. We yearn for it, think about it, wait for it, and pray for it. But sometimes the thing we really want doesn’t come. No matter what we do, it’s just not in the cards for us. We try changing the plan, and that doesn’t work. We try changing our focus, and that doesn’t work. No matter what we do, we can’t get to where we want to be.

It’s very hard to accept not being able to have something we want very much. If it’s something we believed we would achieve, it’s very hard to let it go. But this life is full of twists and turns, and sometimes the road doesn’t take us where we thought we were headed. Sometimes the destination isn’t what we planned on.

How can we accept no for an answer? How can we let go of something we want so badly? How do we handle the disappointment? If we’ve done all we could do, and still the plan didn’t work, what do we do now? How do we go forward?

If you hold a baseball in your hand, all five fingers encircling it, you have it securely. You won’t drop it. If you lift one finger, you can still hold it. The same is true if you lift two fingers, even three – you can still hold onto the ball with the remaining two. But once you lift the fourth finger, the ball will teeter and fall. Having a dream we really want is like holding onto the baseball. When we’re trying to adjust to a big change, a big disappointment, it’s like letting the ball fall. It’s not easy to just let the hope go, we’ve held it for too long. But if we lift one finger at a time, just ease into the release, we can let go of the yearning, and the disappointment. One step at at time, we can go on.

We all have things we want in our lives – good things, things we feel we deserve, things that would be beneficial for us. But sometimes the answer is no. Sometimes the timing is wrong. Sometimes what we think is best for us isn’t where life takes us. It’s hard to let go of the desire for something we’ve wanted so badly. We have to accept the disappointment gradually – let the dream go, one finger at a time.

Today if you realize that something you’ve wanted for so long isn’t going to happen, if you are stung with the understanding that it’s just not going to work, it’s okay. It just means the path is a little different than you thought it would be. Good things will still come to you – they’ll just be a a little different than you thought they would be. Life is all about adapting, accepting change, and learning to adjust. Start again. This is just a step. The road is long. There will be more dreams, and many of them will come true.

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