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Blockade

13 Oct

We all have ideas about how we want our lives to go and what we want to do. When there is something that entices us, something we want, or a destination we’ve decided on, we may be captivated by our plans to achieve it. It’s great when we’re able to succeed and gain the prize but sometimes no matter what we do we can’t get there. Sometimes the door is shut – and locked – and nothing we do will open it. There is a blockade in our path. Perhaps others are involved and blocking our way, or maybe the goal we’re seeking isn’t available to us, or it’s a desired relationship with someone else who isn’t interested in us. Whatever the reason, it’s hard to face a stop sign when we want to proceed. But if there truly is no way to get to the goal we will eventually have to accept the situation as it is. We may try to go around whatever is in our way, or try to negotiate to get in, or a dozen other tactics to try to move forward, but if the answer is truly no we will have to let it go. It’s very difficult to turn away from something we want badly. It can be hard to change and move in another direction but sometimes that’s where we are.

Facing a great disappointment takes time to process. At first we may think it’s a temporary setback and we’ll eventually get to the prize. We may convince ourselves the timing just isn’t right but feel that will change. There is nothing wrong with having a positive attitude but if the goal we’re seeking is truly out of reach it’s better to face the situation and move forward in another direction. There is little to be gained by living in a dream state. Reality is what will bring us truth and truth is what brings happiness. If we need time to grieve over the disappointment, we can take it. If we need a change of scenery, we can get it. And if we need to re-evaluate our plans going forward, we can do that. Serious disappointments aren’t easy to accept and they take time to get through. But we are capable of managing anything we have to face and if we give ourselves the time we need we can move on.

When things go wrong and we’re struggling to find our way we may feel like failures. We may overreact to the disappointment and make it personal. We may believe the lie that we always fail, that nothing we do every goes right, or that nobody will ever love us. Sometimes we will make mistakes and sometimes we will fail. And sometimes even if we haven’t done anything wrong things won’t go our way. It’s important to remember we have many excellent qualities and are capable of doing many things well. We do some things very well. Even if our plans fail, we aren’t failures. Things just didn’t go our way this time. Next time everything will be different. We can be confident in our abilities, and remember we are intelligent and lovable just as we are. Plans may fail but we don’t have to. We can learn and grow and go forward with courage to face the next challenge. There is a lot of success coming our way. We can focus on that and move forward with confidence.

Today if you’re facing a terrible disappointment and feel shaken and unsure, remember all the times you’ve succeeded in the past. There is greatness in you and many more successes ahead. Look forward and be strong. Be confident. You have so much going for you. The future is bright and it’s waiting for you.

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The Other Way

12 Oct

As we go through our lives we make countless decisions.  Many of them are of little consequence but some may have far reaching ramifications.  When we’re faced with an important decision we may take our time and consider all our options.  If we are careful and wise we will often come up with a solution that brings us the desired result.  But sometimes, despite everything we’ve done to make the best decision possible, things go the other way.  We may make a wrong turn and end up uncomfortable or worse.  There are risks with every decision and even when we try hard to be proactive and choose well we may be wrong.  It’s impossible to make the right decision every single time.  We are going to miss the mark at some point and when we do it may be hard to figure out how to go forward.

If we want to go on a road trip we often consult maps.  We look at the destination and find the route we most want to travel.  There are many, many roads to get to any destination.  We can take a super highway and cut some time off the journey or we may choose to take the side roads and visit all the towns we pass as we travel.  If there are problems with the road we’re on we can circumvent them by taking another one.  There isn’t just one way to get there.  The same is true of our decisions in life.  Although we may choose which way we want to go, sometimes the choice we make fails and we have to find another way.  And sometimes the destination we’ve chosen isn’t available to us at this time and we have to wait.  But no matter what happens, even if the road is closed for now, things will change.  We can re-route, make a new plan, find another way, and wait if needed.  We can go anywhere we want to go and do anything we want to do even if we have to wait.

When we’ve made a decision that fails and it’s important to us we may feel great disappointment.  We may be angry we didn’t get our way, and if others are involved we may feel it’s their fault.  However, the change in our plans may open a new door for us.  We may see something we missed at the beginning and we might find the new path we’re on is better than the original.  It is true that often when one door closes another opens.  We can always move forward, but we may have to alter our course to get there.  We are capable of being flexible and we can find our way no matter where we are now.  We can set the disappointment aside and see things clearly.  We can take a good look at all our options and find the best road.  There really isn’t anything we can’t accomplish if we keep our eyes on the goal ahead.  We can keep walking forward and we will find success.

Today if your plans have failed and you’re stopped at a road block, look around.  Consider all your options going forward.  You can re-route your course and find your way again.  You have everything you need to succeed.  Keep your eyes focused on the goal ahead and you’ll reach it.

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Peter Pan

7 Oct

As we grow and go through our lives we learn new things and develop new behaviors.  As we get older if we want to succeed we must mature and take on the attributes of fully capable adults.  We must learn how to reason and make adult decisions, and exercise self-control to help us manage all kinds of different situations.  If we neglect to mature we may find ourselves stuck in situations that hold us in place and bring us hardship.  Like Peter Pan if we refuse to grow up we will be unable to move forward.  If we can’t commit to relationships, or can’t perform in a steady work environment, or can’t behave rationally when things go wrong, we’ll get stuck.  Childish behavior is appropriate for children but will generally impede our progress as adults.  People with childish tendencies may be difficult to work with and if we’re involved with them may complicate our lives.  If we don’t have these characteristics it’s probable we’ll meet someone during our lives who does.  And if we must work with them or have a relationship with them it may be turbulent and difficult to navigate.  If we fall in love with them we will probably be disappointed and hurt.

When children don’t get their way, they may stamp their feet and march off in disgust.  They may refuse to talk, or voice their dissatisfaction by screaming and yelling.  Because they don’t have adult understanding, when they are furious they may display that fury in a number of difficult ways.  As adults, when things go wrong we may certainly do all the things we did as children to express our unhappiness but those behaviors won’t allow communication and resolution.  Even if the answers seem obvious to other adults, if we’re stuck in a childish pattern we may not see them.  But we certainly have the ability to change and we can learn how to effectively manage conflict and disappointment.  We can learn how to be capable adults and manage our problems and challenges well.  Learning to be fully functioning adults will help us move forward more easily and open doors to success.

Becoming a true adult doesn’t mean we have to let go of childlike wonder or the pure joy of life.  We can still enjoy fun activities and need not restrict our ability to try new things.  But acting like an emotional child when we’re fully grown will only impede our progress and complicate our lives.  Being a true adult helps us change when we need to and embrace growth as we move forward.  We have all the courage we need to allow ourselves to grow and are capable of becoming truly functioning adults.  We can recognize what we need to change and do what we must to facilitate the growth we are seeking.  There isn’t anything too difficult for us to understand and we can succeed.

Today if you see behaviors in your personality you want to improve to become more successful you can begin to change them.  You know what’s important and you can change anything in order to succeed. You have all the courage and understanding you need to become the person you most want to be.  Be the best you can be and all the doors ahead will open for you.

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Redefining

6 Oct

We all have ideas about what success looks like. For some it’s how much we earn, what we look like, or what goals we accomplish. Everyone has a different idea and how we see our personal success often defines how we see ourselves. If we haven’t reached a level we want to achieve we may be discouraged. If we haven’t moved our careers forward like we thought we would or haven’t gotten the praise we think we deserve we can feel like we’re failing. Although success is a personal description of what we want and where we want to go it is often influenced by the ideas held by others. If those around us see it only one way and we haven’t reached that level, we may be discouraged. If we don’t meet their standards and they are important to us, we may feel like failures. It really doesn’t matter how anyone determines what success is but us. If our idea of success if that we manage to get our tasks done every day and don’t lose our temper and we accomplish that, we are successful. We decide what our personal success looks like and we determine how we’ll achieve it. We can redefine what others call it and make it unique to ourselves.

We all have different experiences in life and as a result have unique perspectives about things. What one sees as moving forward, another may see as taking a step back. If we’re focused on non-profit work our motivation may not be to make more money. On the other hand, if we’re driven to be financially independent our income level will mean a lot. The interpretations of how to live our lives depend on who we are and what we want. Our personal choices determine what’s best for us and our personal ideas of success may be very different from the ideas of those around us. We are entitled to define our lives any way we choose and will find happiness from making our personal dreams come true.

The pressures of the world may make us believe our choices aren’t good enough or valiant enough and any number of other ideas. But that doesn’t matter. We have a gift to offer that nobody else can offer. What we do is up to us and we can define success our own way. Maybe we define it by being very patient, or by serving our community, or by practicing the piano every day, or by helping a student with homework. Or maybe we define it by how much money we make or how many people we help. However, we define it we can achieve it. The world has all kinds of ideas about success but we don’t have to adopt them. We can redefine it specifically for us and find great joy in being exactly who we are and achieving what is most important to us. Our lives belong to us and what we do with them is our choice.

Today if you feel pressure to succeed based on someone else’s idea of what that is you can choose your own path. You know what you want and you know how to get it. Be exactly who you are and define success your way. You are a gift to the world and we’re all blessed because you’re here. Your success is defined by you and you will achieve it.

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Really?

5 Oct

When we’re enchanted by someone or a situation, we don’t always see things exactly as they are.  We may be entranced by appearances and mesmerized by beautiful words.  If we really want it to be real we may be convinced despite all indications to the contrary.  We may get caught up in fiction and fail to see truth.  As time passes there may be cracks in the armor but if we’re convinced that what we believe is real we may simply ignore them.  Living in the land of fiction rarely brings happiness and often results in pain.  Truth is invincible and will rise and no matter where we are we will eventually face it.  If we’ve been truly duped we may be seriously hurt.  It’s hard to accept that anyone would purposely deceive us and if we care about them, we may feel devastated.  There isn’t anything we can’t face when we’re ready.  The trick is to live so we’re always willing to see things as they really are and live our lives truthfully.  When we really want something we may buy into a situation that is false but being courageous enough to evaluate it and move forward honestly is the only way to real happiness.

Successful relationships require honesty.  We must be honest about who we are and what we’re doing.  Lying, deceiving, pretending or in any way being untruthful can destroy even the strongest relationship.  If the other party likes certain things we don’t enjoy we can pretend we enjoy them too.  We can pretend to have personality traits we know will be attractive to someone else, or say things we don’t really mean but which we know will bring someone closer to us.  We can do anything we want to convince others to be a part of our lives.  But every deception will be uncovered in time.  It may come to light immediately, or it may take time but it will be revealed.  Once dishonesty has been uncovered, trust is damaged and the relationship will be hurt.  It may take serious time to restore trust and in some cases the relationship may be broken.

Everyone is different and we each have special gifts to offer.  We are valuable and precious in our own way.  We can be confident in honoring that value and understanding we are a gift to the world.  We don’t have to fit anyone else’s model to be loved.  We don’t have to pretend to be something we aren’t.  We are perfect just as we are.  Understanding that and accepting ourselves as we are will help us live more genuinely.  We can be perfectly honest about what we like and what we don’t, our personalities, our unique traits and what we have to offer.  We don’t have blend to fit in and we don’t have to change to be loved.  We are who we are and that’s enough.  We can live our lives honestly and openly and be the best we can be.

Today if you find you’ve been deceived and are hurt, learn as much as you can from the experience.  You are capable of finding truth and accepting it.  If you’ve been pretending to be something you aren’t remember how precious you are just being yourself. You have so much to offer.  Be the best you can be today.  Be brave.  You are lovable just as you are.

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