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Forest and the Trees

5 Jul

When we are working on complex issues, and there are a lot of details, it’s easy to get caught up in them. We try to figure out some tiny aspect that’s eluding us, and if we focus so hard on it we can lose sight of the big picture. When that happens all we can see is a small part of what we’re trying to solve. In some situations we have to take the problem apart, piece by piece, but other times it’s important to see the whole picture to get to the solution. There is a saying, “We can’t see the forest for the trees.” There can be literally thousands of trees in a forest, but if we are focused only on the bark of one tree, only see the patterns in that small section of bark and don’t look up, we can forget where we are. We can lose sight of the entire forest.

Complicated issues, by their very nature, tend to have a lot of moving parts, and a lot of things to consider. There are the other people involved, the timing, the costs if they must be considered, the method for solving the issue, and perhaps a dozen other factors to think about. If we get too tied up in one segment, if we expend all our energies in figuring out that small piece, we may never figure out how to put all the pieces together. We need to step back, and see the entire picture. What does everything need to look like when it’s done? Where do we need to be? How can everything work together?

Stepping back when we have a lot at stake takes practice. If the issue is intense, and we are emotionally invested, it’s even harder. But if we can stop analyzing for a moment, step back two paces, and look at the entire situation, the answers are likely to come. If we want to put together a jigsaw puzzle, we can’t just look at the corner pieces, and try to figure out what it will look like completed. We have to dump all the pieces out, and then look at the whole picture on the box to get an idea of where things will go. Without that, we would be lost, and the puzzle would never be done.

Today if you’re stumped working on a complicated situation, stop and step back. Look at the whole problem again, and remember where you’re trying to go. Imagine it completed, imagine it solved, and think about what it would look like. See the entire thing. Your focus will broaden, and those answers you are looking for will rise. They say the devil is in the details, and if we get caught up in the details, that can certainly be true. You will complete this project, you will solve this problem, and you will figure out all the pieces. You can see it all when you step back. So step back, and then go forward. You’ll get there. You’re closer now than you’ve ever been.

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Your Best

19 Jun

Most of us try to do things well, to be kind, and live a good life. It isn’t always easy to make good choices but if we are wise, we try to make decisions fairly, and hope they are right. Choosing well brings us happiness. We know this but sometimes we may tire of trying, and decide it isn’t worth the effort. We may decide to let others choose, and just go along. We may take the easier road.

If we want to, we can live mediocre lives. We can give a little, take a little, help when it’s convenient, and serve when we must. We can skate by, and do just enough to look good. Mediocrity is easy. It takes very little effort to achieve. We can keep a low profile when help is needed so we won’t have to say no, and we won’t have to offer either. We can be average in our endeavors, and be nice enough to be accepted without having to excel. We can be lazy, and indifferent.

But mediocrity is selling out. When we don’t do our best, when we don’t try our hardest, we are just selling out. We will never know what we are capable of if we don’t push the envelope. We will never know what we could achieve. There is greatness in all of us – some realized, some dormant, but it’s there. We can’t know where our greatness lies if we don’t push ourselves to find it. We each have a gift to offer the world – something that is unique to us, that nobody else can give. If we recognize that, search for it, seek it out, and then offer it, the world will be magnified because of it. If we try, really try to be our best, and do our best, we will find it. And sharing it with others is the greatest we can offer.

Today if you’ve been keeping a low profile, doing just enough to get by, think again. There is something wonderful, and special about you. Find it. Uncover what it is, and determine to share it with others. You are here for a purpose. You have something to give. Find your best self. Open your eyes to it, open your heart to it, and offer it to the world. We all need each other. Give your best. The world will be brighter for it.

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Wide Load

9 Jun

Have you ever seen a truck on the road carrying something very large with a sign on it saying, “Wide Load”? There are generally some red flags attached to alert other drivers, warning them that whatever is being transported is wider than general allowances, and to beware. Maybe you’ve seen houses being moved like this. Once I saw an airplane being transported this way. It’s not a common occurrence, but it comes up from time to time. The vehicles carrying these large objects must drive more slowly to ensure that nothing falls apart, and they reach their destination securely. It’s a wide load, and it requires careful attention.

In our lives, sometimes big things come up that require our careful attention. There may be a lot to address, and we may become overwhelmed. We have a “wide load” of concern and it’s beyond our normal circumstance. When that happens we may feel the burden is too heavy, it’s too much to face, or we’re not strong enough to get through it. We may feel surrounded by worry, and the stress of processing the problem, whatever it is, can seem extraordinarily daunting. It’s a hard place. We all go there from time to time, but experiences in hard places don’t always make the return to another one an easy trip. Sometimes it’s a real struggle.

No matter what comes to us, we can handle it if we take it step by step. There is no problem so vast that we can’t solve it, but in complicated situations, we probably aren’t going to solve it all at once. We have to face it one step at a time. Big issues simply cannot be resolved in one stroke. It may take a while to unravel things, and figure out how to go forward. But it’s not a contest to see how quickly we can solve the issue. It’s not a speed race. We can peel it back, one layer at a time, and work the problem inch by inch. We have to be patient, put out the red flags, and proceed slowly to keep everything together. If we take our time, process it one piece at a time, there is nothing we can’t manage.

Today if you have a big issue you’re dealing with, a complex problem you need to work out, take just one step toward the resolution. Figure out one piece of the puzzle and work that out. Then, take another step, and figure out the next piece. Before you know it, you will have your answers, and solve the problem. It may take time, but you’re carrying a wide load, and nobody can do that at full speed. You will succeed if you go slowly. You will reach the destination. It’s just a matter of time.

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Tickling the Tiger

17 May

Right is right, and wrong is wrong. This is undeniable. In a lot of cases we all agree. For instance, murder is wrong, stealing is wrong, and cheating is wrong. But the trouble is, except for the extremes, what I think regarding right and wrong may not be what you think. I’m clear on my values, and you are clear on yours. Putting them together, they may not match, and there’s the rub. But we have to make our own decisions regarding right and wrong. We each have the privilege of choosing for ourselves. I may not agree with what you think is right, you may not agree with me. That’s the reality of living with others.

Whatever we deem to be right for us, deserves our respect. If it’s something we value, we need to honor it. Otherwise we can twist our lives up in ways that make it hard to discern not only right from wrong, but where we are, and where we’re going. Sometimes, we make decisions that skirt the line, and find ourselves in situations that threaten to compromise what we really want. For instance, if we are married, we may determine that extramarital affairs are wrong. We’re not going to do that. But then someone at the office that we’ve noticed several times, asks us to lunch. It’s not like it’s a date, it’s work. We don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, so we go, and have a great time. Then, because we had such a good time, they ask us again the next week, and we go again. Before long, we find ourselves lunching, and chatting with them on a regular basis. And then we feel it – that pull. The draw to get closer to them. And the thought of an extramarital affair creeps into our thoughts, and unless we’re very careful, we may begin to entertain it. We’ve gone all the way from believing that was wrong, to possibly now, considering it.

If we don’t draw a hard line between what we determine is right, and what is wrong, we may find ourselves in situations like this. We’re tickling the tiger, hoping it won’t bite. Getting close enough to the edge to feel the thrill, and sure we won’t step over the line. Of course, we all know how that goes. Once we’ve crept so close to the edge, it’s very easy to take the final step. We’ve all seen this, or even experienced it. After the situation has gone too far, people often say things like, “It just happened,” or “I couldn’t help it,” both of which are patently untrue. Nothing just happens in situations like this. We plan for them, step by step, inch by inch, and despite the danger we keep going forward.

Today if you feel your values being tested, if you think you might be stepping away from what you truly want for yourself, stop. Just stop, and think again. Don’t risk destroying the choices you’ve made, the person you want to be, or compromising your future. Make your decisions carefully. If you’re tickling the tiger already, thinking about doing something you know is wrong for you, stop now, and re-evaluate the long term ramifications. Nothing we do disappears the instant it’s done. All our decisions stay with us. Forever. Your choices are valuable, and critical. Make them well. You’ll be happier if you do. Tickling the tiger is only fun until it bites. Then the scar lasts forever, and you will never be the same again. Remember who you are. Choose carefully. Create the future you really want by choosing well today.

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Free Space

12 May

Our world is a busy place. We have a lot to do every day, and no matter how much we get done, there is more waiting for us. We are glued to our smart phones, iPads, day planners, and calendars. We constantly check our email, voice mail, Twitter, and Facebook, and a dozen other things. It’s an invasive and constant situation. Of course, life hasn’t always been this way, but the technology age is here, and whether we like it or not, we are part of it. When we add our daily routines of work, chores, errands, gym, walking the dogs, cooking, cleaning up, and everything else we have to do, it gets exhausting, and can be overwhelming. After a time we need a break.

Taking time for ourselves is not just an option, it’s a necessity. We need to plan for time down, without the electronics, without the phone, without the pressure. Just time to recharge, and rest. For some of us that may include time spent with family or friends. Or it might mean an outing to a museum, or gallery. We might decide to stay home, and just veg on the couch with a good book. If we have the time and resources, it could mean a vacation trip to someplace we’ve always wanted to go. Whatever it means to us, whatever it takes to rejuvenate ourselves, that’s what we need.

But in order to make it happen, we need to plan for it. We need to write it in our day planners, enter it into our smart phones, and if we’re working, we need to request the time off. Once we have it planned we must commit that no matter what happens, outside of a natural disaster, atomic explosion or death, we will follow through, and take the time.

I have a family member who works constantly. He is always extremely busy with one project or another. He makes lots of plans, and he completes them. He goes to his regular job during the day, and when he finishes there, he starts working on the project of the month. He is always coming up with new and ingenious ideas, which are great, but he seems unable to see that all he does is work. He is not married because he doesn’t have time to date. He doesn’t go on vacation because he has too much to do and can’t ‘find’ the time. He rarely visits his family because he doesn’t want to stop the progress he’s making on item A, B, or C. He works constantly. As a result, he is always tired, and he has few friends. He isn’t happy with his life like it is, but he says working this hard now will ensure that in the future he’ll have the freedom he wants. Well, that might happen. Or he might find that this will become his lifelong model, and he’ll never stop to get to that freedom.

No matter how much we do, we will never be completely done with what comes next. Life is a continuous process. There is no end until we die. Work will expand to fill the time we give it – no matter how much time that encompasses. We can work 24/7 if we like, and we still won’t be done. So, either we control the work or the work controls us. If the work is controlling us, when do we get to live our lives?

Plan for time down. Plan for it. And then take it. Take the time you need to recharge your batteries. Turn off the phone. Turn off the computer. Shut down the iPad. Forget about Twitter feeds, and what’s happening on Facebook. Go outside. Take a walk. Take a nap. Go skateboarding. Go surfing. Play tennis. Do whatever makes you happy. Take time apart from your usual schedule to restore. If we can do this regularly, we will have more energy when we return to our busy lives, more excitement for what we’re doing, and more happiness in the long run. This life will take everything we give it. We need to make sure we give something back to ourselves.

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