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Value in Disaster

10 May

In 1914 Thomas Edison’s factory in West Orange, New Jersey, was destroyed by fire. Everything was gone. The building was made mostly of concrete, and nobody thought it could burn so it was insured for a small fraction of the loss. The day after the fire, Mr. Edison went to survey the damage. As he stood there seeing the complete destruction, he said, “There is great value in disaster. All our mistakes are burned up. Thank God we can start anew.” What an amazing man! What an incredible attitude! Someone else may have only seen the loss, but he saw the potential of starting again. What an great example.

We all suffer disasters of varying degrees in our lives. Some are enormous, and hard to face, and others are less destructive. Some wreck our belongings, as well as, our spirits. We may face devastating situations that take years to overcome, or we may have problems that seem disastrous at first but turn out to be workable. Whatever we face, our attitude decides how we will go forward. If we believe the situation is insurmountable, too horrible to face, and we hide from it, it may consume our lives. However, if we, like Mr. Edison, look at the other side of the coin, that it’s horrible now, but it’s also the beginning of something new, it will be easier for us to navigate it.

When we suffer through tragedies and disasters, our lives are changed permanently. We can never go back to how we were before the event happened. What was before is gone. We have to face a new reality. It may not be easy to face, but whether we face it or not, it’s still where we are. So, the best we can do is accept it, decide what we need to do to go forward, and direct our lives to accommodate the change. It’s easy to say these things, it’s easy to think about them, what isn’t easy, is to do them. But we have sufficient courage inside us, and we can handle the changes in our lives, no matter what they are.

This life has its pack of trials. People die, storms ravage, fires burn, floods invade, wars happen, and we all have our share of sorrow, and grief. In those horrible moments, we may feel that we can’t go on. We can’t face our lives now, they are too difficult. But a day goes by, and despite our intense unhappiness, we actually live through it. Then another day goes by. Then a month passes, and as it does, we being to heal. We can, with patience, and time face whatever comes to us. Some days perhaps the best we can do is just breathe in and out, and that is sufficient.

If we can try to think like Mr. Edison did when he faced utter destruction, and see a new beginning instead of just an ending, we will face our trials with more confidence, and peace. Remember that each end is the start of something new. Turn the page. It’s a new day.

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Rose Colored Glasses

8 May

I am an optimist by nature. I tend to look for the best in others, and generally give them the benefit of the doubt. I have always been this way, and when I was growing up my mother used to tell me that one day I would have to remove my “rose colored glasses,” and see the world as it really was. She felt that I gave people too much credit, and that the world didn’t work that way. Well, now that I am grown up, I understand that the world as it really is depends on my perception. Since I’m still the same girl I was years ago, and I’m still an optimist, I’m still wearing those glasses.

Some people see the world differently though. They focus on the negative, the problems, the complications, and the drama. There is certainly a lot of that, and if we want to we can focus on them. But there is also a lot of good in the world. There are people doing good things, there are happy families, there are noble organizations, there are people serving one another, and the list goes on and on. Unfortunately, most of the good news never makes it to the daily broadcasts, or the news feeds on-line because it isn’t sensational enough. But what could be more sensational than doing good in a world so focused on the bad?

They say life is what you make it. We can’t prevent all the trouble that comes into our lives, and we certainly will have our share of challenges. But we will also have our share of blessings. If we have enough to eat, clothes to wear, shelter to rest in, and enough money to survive we are living well. Some people are never happy no matter what gifts they possess, and what they have is never enough. We can look at our lives that way, and we can complain every second of every day if we like. We can find fault, we can pick on those that don’t do things the way we would do them, we can criticize, and belittle all we want to. But in the end, our lives are what we make of them. If we do that all the time, our lives will be filled with criticism, complaints, and discontent. Nobody really wants a life like that.

However, if we look for the good in every situation, we will surely find something there. Even in the most difficult times, even dealing with the most annoying people, we will find something that’s good. If we look for the good in our lives instead of the negative and disappointing, our lives will be filled with peaceful feelings, confidence in others, and a positive outlook for the future. It’s all in how we decide to see it. In the summer we could complain because it’s hot outside, or we could see the gorgeous flowers and trees thriving in the hot sun. In the winter we could complain because it’s snowing again, or we could see the beauty and peace in a winter’s landscape. It’s the same situation both times, but our response to it changes our perception.

Today when you face difficult situations, annoying people, or complex challenges, try to look for what is good about the situation. There will be something there. It’s always there if we look for it. It may be very small at times, but something will shine through. If we learn to do this in every situation we will become happier, and more content in our lives. We can wear rose colored glasses and still see the world as it is. There will always be problems, there will always be trouble, but there will always be joy as well. Look for it – it’s there.

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Above the Clouds

30 Apr

One time while traveling, the city I was leaving was having horrible weather. The sky was black and dense with clouds, and it was pouring rain. The air felt heavy and oppressive. It was dark and threatening. After I boarded the plane and we were underway, we bounced through some bumpy patches, and then suddenly we were above the storm, and the sun was beaming through the windows. It was gorgeous. I looked out my window and could see the dark, black storm below us. It was amazing to look down and see what we had left behind as we sailed along ablaze in the rays of the brilliant sun. There was such a difference from where we were, to where we had gone. It was bright up there, the sky was clear and blue, and we could see for miles. Not at all like the heavy, closed in space under the storm where we had begun the journey.

Our experiences can be like that. We may be having cloudy, stormy days, everything going wrong, tension in the air, we can get confused because of the darkness, and we can’t see ahead. We feel oppressed, and the constant thrumming of the stress weighs on us. We don’t know how long the storm will last before it finally plays out. We find ourselves wishing it would just stop now. Just clear up so we can move on.

It can be difficult, but we need to keep our perspective in times like these. Yes, there are clouds, yes it’s dark and threatening, maybe our lives are not where we want them to be, maybe our decisions haven’t worked out the way we planned, maybe people are upset, and we may feel lost. It’s easy to forget that there is sunshine just above the storm. It’s up there, beaming brightly. It’s always there. It never leaves, and it never fades. It’s just slightly out of reach right now, but if we hold steady, we can ride this out, and get to the clear skies again. No storm lasts forever. Eventually it plays out, and ends.

If you’re going through something difficult, if it feels bad there in the clouds, if it’s dark, if the thunder is threatening, if the rain feels like it will never stop, take heart, it will end. It can’t last forever. It will stop in time. Soon light will shine through, and you’ll be basking in the warmth of the sun’s rays. Everything will settle. You’ll be able to see clearly again, and all the darkness will lift. Keep your eyes on that. Remember that. The sun is always shining above the clouds no matter how dense and heavy the storm is today. The sun is always there. It’s there for you. This storm will pass. Just hold on a little longer. Better days are ahead.

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I’m all broken up over it.

27 Apr

I recently dropped a glass on the kitchen floor. The floor is tile so the glass broke into at least a million pieces – at least. I got the broom out, and carefully began to sweep up the dangerous mess, and then I got down on my hands and knees with a wet cloth to make sure I didn’t miss any tiny barbs destined to cut my feet. Broken glass can be tricky. It’s hard to see and very sharp. You have to be careful to get it all picked up or it’ll come back to cut you. And that’s no fun. After it was cleaned up, I reached into the cabinet again for another glass, and it slipped, but thankfully I did not drop that one, which was a great relief.

Bad and unexpected things happen to us sometimes. We aren’t made of glass, but there are times in our lives when we can feel broken by something that’s happened. The pain is too great, the suffering has gone on for too long, or the loss is too painful. We break. Not all the way like a glass on the floor, but enough that we feel like we’re in pieces, and nothing is fitting together. We feel disconnected. We feel untethered. We feel bad.  And sometimes during those fractured times, it’s hard to see how we’ll get it all put back together again. How we’ll clean everything up, and make it work.

There is no set timetable for fixing a break inside of us. It’s not like the six week cast for a broken arm. Every situation, every break is different. Some breaks feel all encompassing and take a lot of time to repair. Others aren’t so intense, and we can bounce back more quickly. But no matter how long it takes, the period during the break hurts. We’re out of sync, and it can feel like we have a flat tire, loping down the road slightly off kilter. The world is off its axis. Everything feels strange, and uncomfortable. We’re not ourselves.

No matter how extensive our breaks are, once we decide we’re going to fix them, they begin to mend. There is a saying that time heals all wounds, and in some ways time is the best medicine for a break. But time is just one part of how we heal.  Attention to the break is needed.  We need to look at it, examine it from different angles, figure out how we got broken to begin with, and determine how we can fix the situation.  It will take some time.  We may get impatient, but even in the impatience, things can move forward.  We can heal.  We will heal.

If you feel broken, if something is out of whack, something is wrong, take a little while to examine the problem. What happened? How can you fix it? How can you heal the break? All the answers are inside you. If you feel lost, seek the help of someone you trust. Listen. Think. Take your time. You’ll figure this out. When we break a bone and it heals, it is stronger than it was before we broke it. We are the same way. Once we fix what is broken inside, we are stronger than before. And being stronger is a great gift. No break is permanent. This will change. You’ll heal and be stronger on the other side.

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The sky is blue, the grass is green.

15 Apr

Some time ago while going through a particularly difficult time in my life, a very good friend told me that when I felt my worst I should take pleasure in the small things. “Go outside,” he said. “Take a walk and feel the breeze on your face. Watch it turn the leaves on the trees. Notice the way the sun feels. Pay attention.” He promised me that if I did that, my spirits would be lifted, and I would feel better.

Honestly, I didn’t believe him. I was really having a hard time, under so much stress. and I felt horrible. How on earth was a walk outside going to help me? But one day, feeling completely defeated, I took his advice, put on my tennis shoes and went outside. I mean, I had nothing to lose. As I began to walk down the lane, I looked around. I paid attention to the little things as he had suggested – the sound of my neighbor’s son riding his bicycle, the smell of a distant barbecue cooking something delicious, the feel of the sun’s rays on my arms, and the freshness of the air. I walked for a while and continued to listen, to feel, and to see, and soon I began to notice I wasn’t so upset. I wasn’t so overwhelmed. He was right – I felt better.

Since that experience I have made it a point to be outside more, especially when I’m feeling pressed. Instead of brooding and worrying, I take a walk, I pay attention, and again notice the small things that bring me comfort. And it helps a lot. But sometimes there isn’t time for a nice walk when I’m feeling low, so I have developed a little mantra that I say to myself when I am overrun or stressed, and can’t get away. I sit for just a moment, close my eyes, take a deep breath, and repeat in my mind, “The sky is blue, the grass is green.” I envision a gorgeous blue sky, and brilliantly green grass, and I imagine the feeling of the breeze on my face. As I sit there for just a moment, I am reminded that there are other things to think about. Somewhere, even if it’s raining where I am, somewhere the sky is blue and the grass is green. The breeze is soft and warm, there are birds singing, and all is not lost. That little mantra has calmed me more times than I can count. It’s just a small reminder that what I’m going through is isolated and will change, and there are better things coming my way.

Today if you’re feeling stressed, if you’re feeling bad, take a moment, just a moment, sit still, close your eyes, take a breath, and think about something that makes you relax, that brings you comfort. Maybe work on developing your own mantra for times when you’re unsettled and need some relief. “The sky is blue, the grass is green.” Yes, it is. And sometimes that’s all it takes.

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