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All in the Doing

21 Jun

There are times in everyone’s life when things don’t go quite the way we’d like. Sometimes our relationships have contention, sometimes our plans don’t work out, and sometimes we feel bad. We don’t feel happy. We may be depressed, and somewhat sad. Although it may not be a serious situation, it is nevertheless impacting our lives. We may feel lethargic, and don’t want to do anything. We can find ourselves sitting in front of the TV for hours, not paying attention, or sleeping far more than usual. We may not want to see our friends. We may just want to stay home, and hide until we feel better.

Sometimes when we’re in these situations we welcome advice. Other times we just don’t want to hear it. We don’t care. We’re miserable, and we just want to be left alone. There is nothing wrong with being alone, and trying to figure things out on our own, but we have to be careful that we don’t isolate ourselves for too long. This is not a pattern we want to become permanent. So how can we help ourselves? How can we get out of this funk? How can we shake things loose, and be happy again?

One of the best things we can do when we’re feeling this way is to move. Just move. Take a short walk outside. Walk to a neighborhood café for a snack. Clean out a closet, pull weeds, wash the car, bake a cake, or turn up some music and dance. Any activity that gets us off the couch, or out of bed will help. There is something about movement that makes us feel better. If we can make ourselves do something, anything that gets us in motion, we will feel better. We will feel lighter, and it will help.

Today if you’re feeling low, if you’re down and don’t want to do anything, let that be your cue to do something. You are perfectly capable of managing this. You can do anything. And today you will do something to move forward, and shake it off. This is just a small bump. It’s going to pass, and while you’re going over it, do something that will lift your spirits and help. You can dance your way right on through this. And you can’t feel bad when you’re dancing!

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Defining Us

16 Jun

Have you ever faced a challenge you didn’t think you could conquer? Something beyond what you felt you could manage? Have you ever felt overwhelmed at a problem you had to face? These times happen to all of us. Very difficult hurdles come that at first may shake us. We may have no idea how we’re going to overcome them, or even how we’re going to face them. When these things happen, they are usually critical, and demand our attention. Even if we’re unsure, even if we’re scared, we have to look at the huge hill before us, and just start climbing.

What defines us as people? Is it what we own? Is it what we’ve done? Is it how much money we make, or how many friends we have? What makes us who we are? When we think about our strengths, and our weaknesses, we can see that every facet of our personalities has been molded, and shaped by the experiences we’ve had. Our experiences are vast as we live our lives. Every day brings something new. And each challenge we face makes us a little stronger, a little braver, and a little truer. What defines us is how we face them.

When very difficult issues come into our lives, when we are facing the dragon, and there is fire all around us, we will come face to face with our fears. What if we can’t do this? What if we fail? What if this destroys us? There are a lot of things that can go wrong when we have a lot to surmount. But if we stand strong, and take it as it comes, face each moment and conquer them one at a time, we can overcome even the hardest of challenges. As we navigate the problem, as we deal with each complication, as we unravel each puzzle, we learn new skills, and we become stronger. Because of that strength, when the next hurdle arrives, we are ready to begin again. There is nothing we can’t handle. There is nothing we can’t face. We are powerful, and we are capable. If we remember that, we will not only survive, we will thrive.

Today if you are facing something very hard, something that is threatening, and you are afraid you cannot conquer it, remember who you are. You can do anything. Be fearless. You may not get every step right, but you will eventually reach the end, and you will overcome. You have more strength than you realize. You have the very best of everything inside you. You have everything you need. Don’t forget that. You will beat this. It’s just a hill after all, and you’ve been climbing those your entire life.

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Ducks

31 May

There is a popular saying that has several versions. Perhaps you’ve heard it, and maybe used it from time to time. “If it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck, it’s a duck.” It’s an effective axiom that applies to many situations. When in doubt and unsure about something, we can apply this saying, and come up with a seemingly logical answer. It works sometimes. But what if it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck, but somehow actually isn’t a duck? Then we’ve missed the mark. So how can we really know?

People can appear to be standoffish and aloof when they don’t mean to. Perhaps they seem to be rude because they look away when we say hello, and won’t initiate conversation when others are around. Or they may seem to be arrogant because they tend to keep themselves apart from the group. Sometimes all of these things are true – sometimes they are standoffish, aloof, and arrogant. They are ducks. But what if someone acts this way because they are just very shy? What if it’s hard for them to interact with others? They tend to hide and don’t initiate contact because it’s not something they are comfortable with. It takes some time and understanding to figure out what is really going on with those around us. Before we start labeling them, we should probably get all the facts.

People are complex and generally don’t tell everyone everything that is going on in their lives. They keep things to themselves because they are personal, and may be difficult to talk about. They may seem to be secretive. Others may be intimidated by large group activities. There is too much going on, and it makes them uncomfortable. They may seem anti-social, when actually they just don’t like big events. And there are those who are always the first to leave the party, and don’t ever stay long. Some may think they are unfriendly because they don’t hang around to socialize. But there may be a reason they need to get home that they haven’t shared.

It’s important that we take a wide view when interpreting personal expression. Today if you find yourself making judgment calls based on what you’re seeing at a superficial level, stop for a moment and think again. Things may be far different than they seem. Give the benefit of the doubt. There is always more to the story than we know. Be the one who extends friendship and acceptance when others are labeling ducks. “If it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck, it’s a duck.” Well, it is – sometimes. But be careful. Sometimes it’s not a duck at all.
 

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Not Happening

24 May

There are times in everyone’s life when we want something very much. If it’s something we feel would be good for us, something that would make us happy, something that would make our lives better, we hope for it. We yearn for it, think about it, wait for it, and pray for it. But sometimes the thing we really want doesn’t come. No matter what we do, it’s just not in the cards for us. We try changing the plan, and that doesn’t work. We try changing our focus, and that doesn’t work. No matter what we do, we can’t get to where we want to be.

It’s very hard to accept not being able to have something we want very much. If it’s something we believed we would achieve, it’s very hard to let it go. But this life is full of twists and turns, and sometimes the road doesn’t take us where we thought we were headed. Sometimes the destination isn’t what we planned on.

How can we accept no for an answer? How can we let go of something we want so badly? How do we handle the disappointment? If we’ve done all we could do, and still the plan didn’t work, what do we do now? How do we go forward?

If you hold a baseball in your hand, all five fingers encircling it, you have it securely. You won’t drop it. If you lift one finger, you can still hold it. The same is true if you lift two fingers, even three – you can still hold onto the ball with the remaining two. But once you lift the fourth finger, the ball will teeter and fall. Having a dream we really want is like holding onto the baseball. When we’re trying to adjust to a big change, a big disappointment, it’s like letting the ball fall. It’s not easy to just let the hope go, we’ve held it for too long. But if we lift one finger at a time, just ease into the release, we can let go of the yearning, and the disappointment. One step at at time, we can go on.

We all have things we want in our lives – good things, things we feel we deserve, things that would be beneficial for us. But sometimes the answer is no. Sometimes the timing is wrong. Sometimes what we think is best for us isn’t where life takes us. It’s hard to let go of the desire for something we’ve wanted so badly. We have to accept the disappointment gradually – let the dream go, one finger at a time.

Today if you realize that something you’ve wanted for so long isn’t going to happen, if you are stung with the understanding that it’s just not going to work, it’s okay. It just means the path is a little different than you thought it would be. Good things will still come to you – they’ll just be a a little different than you thought they would be. Life is all about adapting, accepting change, and learning to adjust. Start again. This is just a step. The road is long. There will be more dreams, and many of them will come true.

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Looking Back

18 May

As we travel through our lives, there are things we want to accomplish, goals we want to achieve, and growth we want to realize. Some of these are completed quickly, and others take a long time to achieve. We work on them day by day, month by month, and for some, year by year. Time stretches on, and we keep trying but still haven’t gotten to the place where we feel we’ve finished the task. We’re still pushing that big rock up the hill. It can seem like it will never end, and we may begin to be disheartened. We wonder if the task is too great. We wonder if we will ever get to the end. We wonder if we can continue.

During those moments of discouragement, it may be hard to see what we’ve done already, and how far we’ve actually traveled in our quest to achieve the goal. All we can see is the never ending road ahead. It seems to go on forever. There is so much yet to do. We feel like our wheels are spinning in sand. If we only look in front of us, all we can see, as far as we can see, is the distance we have yet to go.

But there is another way to look at this. We can turn around. We can stop for a moment, and turn around. Look back. Take a break from pushing forward, and look back at how far we’ve come already. Look at all the twists, and turns we’ve already navigated. See all the disappointments we’ve conquered. See all the times we nearly stopped but didn’t quit. Look at all of that. It’s been a long road. At times it’s been a hard road, and yet we’re still here. We’re still going forward. We haven’t given up. We’re still committed. If we can stop, and take a moment to see that, and realize how much we’ve accomplished already, we will be renewed. We will feel encouraged. The goal is still ahead, but we have come a long, long way.

If we only set our sights on the future, if we only concentrate on the road in front of us, it is impossible to see the growth we’ve already achieved. But that growth, all those battles already won, count for a lot. They have made us strong. They have made us courageous. They have made us confident. It is because of them that we can go on still. We need to take the time to recognize them.

Today if you start to feel you haven’t accomplished what you had hoped by now, if you feel you’ve failed in some way, stop and turn around. Look back, and see how far you’ve come. You’ve done your best, and you are exactly where you need to be at this moment. Rejoice in that. You are where you need to be at this moment. The road ahead is still there. It will always be there waiting for you. Take another step. You’re closer today than you’ve ever been. You’ll get there. Keep going.

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