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Pulling the Knife Out

5 Dec

We will all probably experience the exquisite pain of betrayal at least once in our lives. Someone we care about, or someone we thought cared about us does something that betrays our trust, our friendship, or our love. It’s a horrible feeling when it happens, and we are often caught unaware and breathless when we discover the truth. We feel like we’ve been stabbed in the back. There is no way to see it coming as someone sneaks up from behind, and plunges the dagger. Few things are as painful as betrayal. Secretly plotting against anyone or covertly doing things that will destroy others is disgraceful and despicable, and cannot be justified. Of course, those responsible have reasons they believe are sufficient for causing such pain, but there is no truth in that. Betrayal is cruel, mean, and destructive, and the pain it causes can be crippling.

If this happens, we may feel devastated and shocked. It can knock the wind out of us and leave us wondering who we can trust, and what to do going forward. It’s hard to move anywhere with a knife in our backs, so first we must remove it. Since we’re talking about an emotional wound, we don’t have to wait to yank it out. We can do it immediately by facing those who have betrayed us, and clearly and succinctly telling them we will not tolerate it. When we take that first step and stand up for what is right, we feel more power and control than if we suffer quietly. What they’ve done only diminishes them and we can maintain our high personal standards despite their actions. Speaking up at once, and pro-actively addressing the situation often leaves those involved speechless and stunned by our self-control. And that’s a win.

We can’t control what anyone does but ourselves. People can make bad choices, they can do horrible things, they can hurt others, and sometimes we’ll be the target. Even when we’re devastated, even if we feel destroyed, even if the pain is severe, we can still choose well. We can rise above the destruction, take a deep breath, and remember who we are and who we want to be. We can be noble, even if those around us are shameful. When we choose the path best for us, and behave in ways that communicate how incredible we really are, we always win. Those who take the low road, who hurt and use and betray, will never have the respect or honor that comes to those who choose well. It hurts to be betrayed. It hurts a lot. But by choosing what is right, we will heal, and in time, we’ll be happy again.

Today if you’ve been stung by the bitter pain of betrayal, remember who you are. This does not diminish you. You can manage this with grace and determination by making excellent choices. You are strong and you can handle anything that comes to you. There are so many great experiences just ahead. Keep your eyes focused on those. Learn what you can from this and then let it go. Remember you are a gift to the world. We’re all better because you’re here.

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Armored Car

2 Nov

Everyone gets hurt from time to time.  People let us down, break their promises, forget commitments, and things go wrong.  We depend on others as we go through our days, and sometimes they drop the ball.  When we get hurt badly it can be hard to regain our footing.  We may determine to no longer trust anyone, but that will never work in our favor.  Still, if we’ve been hurt deeply we may put walls up around us thinking they will protect us.  Like an armored car, we bury ourselves under layers of protection in order to prevent anyone from getting in, and hurting us again.  While those layers may protect us in some ways, they also work against us.  If we don’t let people get close to us we might not get hurt, but we may also lose our ability to feel a real connection.  Superficial relationships will never allow us to feel deep affection for anyone.  Strong feelings of attachment and love are beneficial, and are among the most valuable experiences we can have.  Without those connections, we lose a big part of our human experience.

Nobody gets through life without getting hurt.  We may be wounded in one way or another simply because of our interactions and trust for others.  In every exchange, and in every relationship, there is an element of risk.  Allowing others to get close to us makes us vulnerable and when we’re vulnerable there is always the possibility of getting hurt.  We can decide the risk isn’t worth whatever we might gain and keep everyone in our lives at a distance.  If we do that we may never have the extreme pleasure and reward of sharing ourselves with someone else on an intimate level.  We may never experience true feelings of love.

If we develop strong feelings for someone and entrust them with our hearts, and they are not valiant or don’t cherish us in return, their choices and actions may hurt us.  They say it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, but when we’re devastated it’s hard to believe that.  We have a lot to offer and we deserve the very best relationships possible.  If that doesn’t happen and we let someone else’s bad choices change how we live our lives, we may end up losing even more.  Sometimes those that hurt us don’t even care what we’re going through or what they’ve done that has devastated us.  Sometimes all they see is themselves.  Allowing their decisions and bad behavior to define our path going forward gives away our power.  We need to have power over our lives to live successfully.  If we determine that even though we’ve been hurt to live our lives openly and well, that we won’t let a bad experience change our course, we will keep our power.  And we will find happiness again.

Today if you’ve been badly hurt by someone close to you, don’t forget your real focus.  Keep your control.  You know what’s best for you, and you know how to go forward.  You will find your way back to happiness and you’ll be wiser from the experience.  Don’t let someone else’s bad decisions determine your future.  You deserve only the best.  Keep your eyes on the goal and you’ll find it.

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Getting Back Up

12 Oct

In football, the object of the game is to move the ball from one end of the field over the goal line on the other side.  It seems simple enough but there are a lot of players on the field, and half of them are determined to prevent the ball from going forward.  Everyone does their best to push ahead, and because they are struggling with each other to get to the goal, they spend a lot of time on the ground.  They fall either being knocked down by their opponent or because they are taking another player down to prevent them from advancing.  The hits are hard and sometimes they are injured and unable to get up.  But mostly, they jump back up and push forward again and again.  They take a beating as the game progresses.  Seeing it play out, it’s not that different from what we experience in our personal lives.

We’re all trying to move forward in one way or another.  We push, and maneuver, and try to gain a little ground each day.  Sometimes we get further down the road.  Other times we get knocked down.  Something goes wrong, or someone doesn’t follow through, or what we thought would work out didn’t.  If the goal is important and we’re knocked down, we have to get back up and try again.  The first few times that’s a little easier than it may be after a dozen hits.  But if we want to succeed we can’t stop.  We have to muster our courage, regain our strength, and stand up again.  There is opposition in everything we do, and if we want to win we must be determined that no matter how many times we’re set back, we will continue to push forward.

With everything we want to accomplish we weigh the costs.  Great accomplishments often require great sacrifice and time.  But they also carry the greatest rewards when we succeed.  We need to decide if those rewards are worth whatever we must do to achieve them.  If they are, and we can see the big picture instead of the problems and inconveniences we’re going through, we have a better chance of success.  There isn’t anything we can’t achieve if we want it badly enough.  If we’re resolved in our purpose, and steadfast in our focus, we can face whatever comes.  If we get knocked down, we can get back up.  And when we do we’ll be smarter, and stronger going forward

Today if you’re trying hard to accomplish a goal and you’ve been knocked down, get back up.  Envision the success waiting for you at the end of the struggle.  There isn’t anything you can’t do.  You have everything you need to succeed.  Just keep going.  You know what you want, and you will have it.

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Purple

8 Oct

When we have something we strongly believe in, something that defines us and makes us who we are, it’s important to hold fast to it. There may be some who will criticize us, or even demean our beliefs, but that has no power over our decision to continue.  There are all kinds of beliefs, tenets, and guidelines we may choose to help govern our lives.  Sometimes we have the inclusion of those around us, and sometimes we stand alone.  We all have personal choices and when they don’t follow everyone else’s idea of the norm, we may stand out.  But whatever choices we make are up to us, and unless we’re hurting someone else, we are entitled to them.  Differences sometimes make others uncomfortable.  We can exercise patience and understanding, and a willingness to accept people as they are.  If we do that, we will be comfortable and supportive in any situation.

Our beliefs vary from one another.  Perhaps we love the color purple. We think purple is the best, happiest color there is and we wear it every day. We talk to people about it and try to convince them of its very positive influence, and explain their lives would be better if they included purple in them. We take every opportunity to sing about it, talk about it, and praise it with everyone we meet. Some people might think we have clouded judgment, and some may openly deride us for our allegiance to it.  Others may say we’re foolish and naïve to believe in such a thing, and instead we should go along with what everyone else is doing.  But we can stay true to our choice if it’s what makes us happy. We can be strong going forward with our faith.  Others may not understand our choices, but we don’t need their approval.

Approval is something we all seek to some degree.  Most of us want to be accepted, included, and part of the group.  If we’re different that may take a little more time than if we look and act like everyone else.  But being different makes us more interesting.  We don’t have to conform to be accepted.  We don’t have wear beige just because everyone else is wearing beige.  We can be purple.  We can be happy and inclusive to those around us, and accepting of others, and we can still be true to our beliefs and fit in.  It’s important to be genuinely true to ourselves.  We are in control of our lives and get to decide how we want to live them.

Today if you feel left out because you’re not like everyone else, remember how your differences make you unique.  Extend your hand in friendship and be accepting to those around you.  Show your care and compassion, and be kind in all your dealings.  Others will respond positively and before you know it, everyone will be on your side.  You are great just as you are.  Be true to yourself, and be happy sharing your life just the way you like it.

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Learning to Fly

30 Sep

There is so much we can experience in this life.  We try different things and learn a lot as we go along.  Sometimes there are things we dream of doing, things we want to do but aren’t sure we can manage.  We may be afraid we won’t succeed, or it’s frightening to begin.  We may dream about doing those things for a long time and because we’re unsure we may not try.  But we can accomplish far more than we believe we can.  We are capable of managing great changes, and we can master new things if we want to.  While some things may elude us, we can accomplish just about anything.  But it takes courage to begin.  The first step is the hardest when we’re hesitant.  We have to venture into uncharted territory, take action seemingly in the dark, and proceed with confidence even when we’re unsure.

Baby birds are very tiny and extremely fragile.  They begin their lives safely tucked in a nest that keeps them secure and they have a mother who protects them, feeds them, and watches over them.  But eventually they must stand on the precipice of the nest and make their first attempt at flight.  They can’t stay in the safety of the nest forever, and they must jump.  They have to push off the sturdy edge of the nest, and leap into the air with nothing to support them but their wings – wings they have never used.  Although it’s instinctual, and they are compelled to move forward, it must be with some trepidation that they jump.  It’s the same with us.  We get comfortable in our lives and our routines, and if we want to try something new we have to take the first step.  We have to take the leap of faith and believe we can do it, and we have to jump.

It’s easy to go through life doing the same, comfortable things.  It’s easy to make our lives predictable and simple.  It’s reassuring when are days are constant, and we can, if we choose, keep things in the same order all the time.  But if we really want to experience all this life has to offer, we need to take some risks, and try new things.  We don’t have to put ourselves in danger, but we can stretch to learn something new, something that takes us out of our comfort zone and gives us a new and refreshing perspective.  Often when we chance it and push ourselves into situations and experiences that are new and exciting, we start out tremulous and unsure.  But soon we find we are capable of managing the experience and when we’re on the other side having succeeded, we’ll be amazed and thrilled at what we’ve done.  We overcame the fear and accomplished something we didn’t think we could.  It’s extremely rewarding and helps us understand that just like those baby birds, we can jump, and we can learn to fly.

Today if you’re thinking about trying something new, something you want to do but aren’t sure of, go ahead and jump.  Take the first step.  Be brave.  You can do anything you want.  You can accomplish all your dreams.  There isn’t anything that’s too scary or too difficult for you.  Today is the day to open that door, and push into something new.  You’ll be amazed at what you’ll accomplish.  You’re a rock star.  Go for the gold!

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