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Spinning

27 Oct

There is a game children play that’s like baseball but before the “batter” can run, they must stand the bat on the ground, place their head on top of it and spin around it several times.  Then they stand up – as best they can – and try to run to the bases.  It’s very funny to watch the players try to proceed in a straight line when they’re dizzy from spinning.  If you’ve ever played this game, you know how difficult it is to find direction when you’re completely disoriented.  Sometimes it can feel like our lives are like that.  We know where we want to go, but somehow no matter how hard we try to advance in a straight line, we end up going in lots of different directions.  There are complications, misdirection, distractions, and endless influences that pull us off our course.

Getting from point “A” to point “B” seems like a simple idea.  We just need to look at them objectively, and plot a course from one to the other.  It sounds easy but when we’re dealing with other people whose decisions also come into play, it can get confusing.  Most of the things we do in this life involve others.  We have to find a way to cooperate and work with their ideas and visions, as well as our own.  Although we may be sure which way we need to go, and we have the plan already formulated in our minds, their ideas of how proceed may be quite different.  When we try to put them together and come up with a workable plan going forward, the path may get fuzzy, and if we aren’t careful we can lose our way.  It’s like spinning before we walk forward.  We know where we need to end up but trying to walk a straight line to get there eludes us.

Before we start any journey, we need to be clear in our objective and understand the mission we’re trying to accomplish.  It’s important to know exactly what we’re trying to do before we start out.  Sometimes that’s easy to discern, but other times it can be obscure.  We have an idea of what needs to be done, but really aren’t sure about the desired destination.  Before we even begin to formulate a plan, we need to clarify exactly where it is we want to end up.  Otherwise we may find that although we eventually get to a destination, and achieve something, it isn’t what we needed to accomplish.  Sometimes that happens because there is too much input, and sometimes it’s because there isn’t enough.  Either way, if we aren’t sure where we’re headed, when we start the journey it’s difficult to get our feet pointed in the right direction and in the end may end up far from where we want to be.

Today if you’re confused about which way you’re going, if you aren’t sure what the objective is, stop and determine exactly what you need to do.  Don’t waste time spinning.  Get clarification before you proceed.  Once you’re clear on where you’re headed, you can plot your course, and despite what stands in the way, will be able to get there successfully.  You have all the tools you need to get wherever you want to go.  Clear your head and make your plan.  You’re just steps away from arriving exactly at the right spot.

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Hatred

23 Oct

As we go through our lives, there may be times when we feel strong, negative emotions toward someone else.  We may determine that those emotions are intense enough to be labeled hatred.  We decide we hate them.  We despise their very existence, and we wish they would disappear.  It takes a lot of emotion and a lot of energy to carry hatred, and we can carry it for as long as we like.  Hatred has caused a lot of problems and turmoil in the world, but it has never helped any situation or resolved any issues.  It is a negative emotion that can hold us back, and freeze us in place.  It’s hard to move forward when we’re consumed with hatred, and despite all the energy we give it, returns nothing back to us.  It pulls on our strength, controls our thoughts, and may negatively determine our actions.  If we let it consume us, it can destroy our lives.

When we determine to hate someone else, we may lose our direction.  Hatred is so powerful and caustic, if we embrace it, it can hold us in place.  In order to move forward in our lives, we need to focus on our goals and where we want to be.  If we are consumed with the presence of someone else it’s difficult to see the road we need to be on.  Hatred may become an obsession.  It may continually pre-occupy us and constantly intrude on our thoughts.  While we are embracing it, it’s very hard to think of little else.  If we are consumed in our hatred, the result may be that the very person we hate, because of the intensity of our focus on them, controls our lives.  If we let the hatred become our driving force it will take over.  We cannot move forward, we cannot improve, and we cannot evolve any further as long as we are held in its grip.

When we are hurt or seriously disappointed by someone, it’s natural to feel bad.  If those feelings are intense it’s hard to let them go.  But letting them go restores our power.  We can acknowledge the slight, we can understand what happened, and we can accept our feelings.  And then, if we are dedicated to our personal growth, we need to let it go.  That doesn’t mean we have to trust the other person again, or even interact with them if we don’t have to.  It means we value our progression and personal happiness more than we value the negative experience.  We are in charge of our lives and we can direct them.  When we feel very strongly about a situation it may be hard to let it go, but letting it go lets us move forward.  And moving forward is what brings us satisfaction, accomplishment, and happiness.

Today if you feel like you absolutely hate someone, don’t let it have authority over you or your actions.  Be in control of your life by understanding what happened and why you feel this way, and then let it go.  Don’t get tied up and stuck because of something someone else has done.  Rise above it and be the best you can be.  You can be an excellent example of success.  Let the hatred go, and embrace your life.  You have so much to offer.  Go forward.

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Running With Scissors

9 Oct

Everyone tries to make good decisions and do things that will bring them happiness and success. We work hard at what we want to accomplish and try to learn as we go. But sometimes we get a little sidetracked and do things that work against us. We might say something spiteful back to someone who has hurt our feelings, or take revenge on someone because of something they did to us. These responses do nothing positive for us, but at times it feels like they give us some satisfaction. Unfortunately, they don’t ever work in our favor and do nothing to move us forward. Instead of resolving a situation, if we do things like these oftentimes we end up escalating it. It’s like running with scissors. We might get to a destination faster but the risk of making things worse is real and present.

If we’ve been hurt and are angry, returning pain for pain is always an option. We can hit back, return nasty barbs, or do something else to even the score. Unfortunately if we take this route, often instead we just up the ante. And then we have to even the score again. If things continue to escalate, the situation can get out of hand and we lose control of the objective. In every conflict we have a choice. We can try to diminish it or we can make it worse. Making it worse is never in our best interest. If we make that our pattern, we may spend a lot of time wrestling with issues instead of solving them. But it’s not fair for us to be treated badly, and sometimes we feel like we have to do something to make things right. But making things right is rarely achieved when a contest of wills gets intense.

The only way to handle a situation when we’ve been hurt, or maligned, is to be in control. The best way to gain control is to return better behavior for the insult. If someone says we’re an idiot, we don’t have to agree, but we could quietly and politely say something to diffuse the situation. If we aren’t attacking in our response, the other party has nothing to rebut. It takes two to argue and if we lower the tension, the argument has a better chance of becoming a conversation. If someone says something that deeply hurts or ridicules us, we could simply thank them for their opinion and say nothing more. Many times when others attack us personally they expect a fight. They have volleyed the first serve over the net and are in control. We can take that control away from them by managing what happens next. It isn’t easy but we are capable of deflating the conflict by being polite, and calm. Most people who like to fight like to pick on others who will take the bait. We can determine not to take it. We can decide to take control instead. And if we do, we win.

Today if someone is baiting you into an argument, if you’ve been insulted or demeaned, you don’t have to enter the fight. You can take control of the situation be being calm and polite. No matter what happens you can return your best behavior. You can be better, and you can silence the conflict. You are strong and capable of making excellent choices. Today make the choice that puts you on top. That’s the best place to be, and is exactly where you belong.

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Taking Time

4 Oct

We live in a hurry up world. No matter what we’re doing or where we’re going it seems everyone wants us to get something done quickly, or get somewhere in a hurry. We rush from task to task, sometimes barely taking time to think about what we’re doing. While we’re in such a hurry, sometimes before we finish the task we’re on, we’re already thinking about the next thing on the list we need to get done. Others expect a lot from us, and we push ourselves, and cut corners to make things go faster. It’s exhausting and at the end of the day we sometimes can’t remember exactly what we did until we pull our extensive lists out and take a look. This is not the best way to live our lives, but it is sometimes where we are. We get caught up in checking things off our list and don’t notice the day going by. But the day is surely going by, never to return. At midnight it will leave us. The days turn into weeks, which turn into months, which turn into years. And so it goes.

Although it’s important to be successful in getting things done that are important to us, sometimes we fill our days with tasks that don’t mean much in the long run. Menial chores that eat up our time, and distract us from our lives. We can find a better way to manage these things if we take some time to make a plan. Perhaps instead of running around every day trying to get a lot done, we could set some dedicated time aside one day a week to accomplish all the details that clutter up our lives. If we used that block of time only for accomplishing those tasks, don’t answer the phone, and don’t commit to anything else, we can free up the rest of the week for other things – like enjoying our lives. One thing is certain, there is plenty to fill our days and if we’re not careful, our tasks will control our lives. And when that happens we may feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and burned out.

Taking a moment to plan will help us make time for the things that are most important. Time for ourselves, time for our friends and family, and time for rest. Taking time for ourselves helps us stay on track, and adjust our course to get to the destination we want most. Without planning, our days may end up being busy without end. We spend a lot of time in outward activities, and when we’re busy running around we don’t pay attention to what’s going on inside us. But if we take time to regroup and check in, time to listen to how we feel, and what we need, we’ll be more effective and happier. We are the most important people in our lives. We need to acknowledge that importance, and take care of ourselves. We can be in control of our time, our choices, and our responsibilities. Nobody can manage our time better than we can. And when we’re effective in that management we’ll get more done, and we’ll feel more peace in our lives. Taking care of ourselves and our needs is our personal responsibility, and is the most important thing we will do each day.

Today if you’re overwhelmed with all you have to get done, if you’re running around and rushing, and feel stressed, stop for moment. Just stop. Take a breath and think about how you could manage your time more effectively. Make a plan and then work it. You’ll feel more in control, more relaxed, and a lot happier. This life is yours. You can live it any way you choose. Today choose to live it in a way that brings you peace and joy. You deserve all the best of everything. Plan for it, and arrange your time to get it.

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Head and Heart

24 Sep

When we are attracted to someone, we feel excited and happy when they are near. We feel drawn to them and think about them all the time. We want to be with them and we want them to want us in return. We aren’t thinking about logic, we aren’t thinking about being reasonable, we’re thinking with our hearts. We feel compelled to seek them out, and the pull is physical, and emotional. People say the heart wants what the heart wants, and it feels like that’s true. We’re drawn with our hearts in the beginning, but after a while, our heads must enter the picture. We start thinking about the other person more objectively. We start seeing things we missed at first, and we can then determine if a continuing relationship with them is beneficial.

We have a lot to offer. We have many gifts to present. If we want relationships that will endure, and make us happy, we must recognize not only what we bring but what the other person has to offer as well. We deserve the very best relationships possible. We deserve all the good things we want. If we take the time to let our heads evaluate where our hearts have taken us, and then carefully consider what the long term results will likely be, we can make better decisions about who we want to share our lives with. It’s exciting when our hearts are calling the shots, but it’s important that we engage our heads to ensure we’re headed down a road we want to travel.

Sometimes we fall for people who are not good for us. We all have issues, but if we connect with someone whose issues are hurtful to us, who have more problems than we can handle, or who cannot commit, it’s painful. If we’re wise, we’ll look at these situations openly and without reservation or protection, and let the full measure of their impact weigh on us. We need to see everything clearly so we know what’s best for us. There may be times when we have to leave a relationship because the long range prognosis is unhappiness. It’s difficult to leave any relationship, but our happiness is important. We are the only ones who can ensure it. We need to do all we can to make that happen.

Today if you’re evaluating a relationship, keep your eyes open. See everything clearly – all the good and all the bad. Determine what’s best for you. If you decide to continue it, you’ll have a better understanding of where it will take you. If you decide it’s not going where you want, do what is needed to let it go. Whatever you choose, make sure it’s the best decision for you. You deserve the very best. And you can make sure you get it.

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