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Pernicious Anger

25 Jun

Pernicious – Causing insidious harm or ruin; ruinous; injurious; or hurtful.

There are ups and downs in all our lives.  Things go right, they go wrong, disappointments happen, people let us down and there are endless other outcomes.  Anger is a normal part of life.  If someone does something that affects us negatively or our experience is far from what we want or expect we may get angry.  There is nothing wrong with feeling anger but how we express it can affect what happens next.  If we lash out at others and say or do things that are beyond what the relationship can bear, we may damage it beyond repair or lose it altogether.  Pernicious anger may ruin our connections going forward.  We are always in control of our lives and if we allow angry emotions to determine how we act we may end up somewhere we don’t want to be.  If we feel ourselves getting carried away in a wave of disappointment or anger, instead of acting out we can step back and allow ourselves to calm down before we react.  The fight or flight reflex is very strong and powerful but generally we neither need to fight nor run away to find resolution.  We can take a breath, stop and think and give ourselves a moment to see everything before we respond.  Learning to act on disappointment instead of react to it will help us find a positive outcome.  No problem is improved by adding intensity and anger to it.  We can control our actions and responses even in times of duress and navigate anger effectively.  There is always a possible positive outcome and if we take our time we’ll find it.

Self-control is a learned response.  Children express anger by crying, screaming or pouting but as we grow and mature if we want to be successful adults we must replace those instantaneous responses with something more thoughtful and successful.  There are few things more disagreeable than an adult who acts like a child.  We can learn the skills we need to be patient in disappointment and tolerant when things go wrong.  We are mature enough and wise enough to find the best way forward no matter the situation.

It’s impossible to listen to other perspectives if we’re concentrating on smashing the opposing point of view.  If we over react every time something goes wrong or someone disagrees with us we may end up burning bridges and ruining relationships.  We might win the current battle but lose the connection going forward.  We can align our priorities and address conflict in ways that protect our sincerest interests.  Maturity and wisdom come with practice and we can choose wisely in difficult times to help us become the people we most want to be and preserve the relationships we value.

Today if feel intensely angry over something, before you react take a moment to look at the situation objectively.  Determine what is most important before you move forward and then choose the path that will take you there.  You are wise and strong and what you want most is possible.  Every positive outcome is there for you and with patience and clarity you will find it.

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The Spots

14 Jun

There are all kinds of people in the world and we run into different types of personalities and behaviors every day. We like to be around people who share our viewpoints and interpretations but sometimes we may be attracted to someone who is very different. When we connect with them we may be interested in their differences at first but as time goes by we may want them to change to be more like us or in some way we think would be better for them. If we really want someone to change we may believe that with enough influence from us, they will. A leopard has spots that have evolved over time that make it unique and distinguishable. They don’t look like any other animal, nor do they try to imitate anything but what they are. We aren’t leopards but like their spots, we are unique and distinguishable by our behaviors and choices. Our personalities develop with each day that passes and every decision we make. We ultimately become the people we create. We can change anything we like at any time but it’s highly unlikely anyone else will be successful in making us change anything we haven’t chosen for ourselves. We are all responsible for our own lives. No matter how much we may want someone else to change, no matter how good our intentions are or positive the desired change may be, we can’t alter their spots. They belong solely to them and they are the only ones with the power to change them.

It’s easy to keep doing things the same way and changing course or expression takes work but we can alter our course any way we desire. We are all continually in motion and if we want to change something in our lives or behaviors, we have all the power we need to accomplish the task. The catch is we must be motivated enough to do whatever is needed and required to bring about the adjustment. It may not be easy and what we’re trying to do may take serious time and focus to accomplish. But if we’re determined there isn’t anything we can’t do. We can change our spots and direction, and more effectively find success.

Change must always come from within. If we love someone and want them to shift something in their lives we may suggest it to them. If they are reticent, we may cajole them, pester them, or continually nag them thinking that repeated reminders will make them desire the change. We can talk until we’re blue in the face and run out of air but we cannot make them choose our decisions. Our lives belong solely to each of us and every choice is ours to make. No matter what anyone else thinks, we will be the people we choose to be. It is enough to manage our own choices. We can let go and let others determine their own paths and accept their right to live their lives according to their own desires.

Today if you’ve been trying to change someone else thinking you can help them live more fully or happily, let go and focus on your own choices. We are all unique and valuable in our own way and deserve to express ourselves as individuals. You are wise and capable and can create the life you want the most. Focus on your own path and choose the best way forward. Find your own success and great happiness will follow.

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New Beginning

11 Jun

Our lives change a little every day.  When we’re on the roads we want to travel and pushing forward to complete goals we want to accomplish we feel confident and happy with the direction we’re moving.  Our lives are always in our control and no matter where we are or what we’re doing we can change them any time we want to.  Sometimes we see our lives with new perspective and what has been working fine no longer feels right.  We feel differently about the road we’ve been on and decide it’s time to adjust the way forward to a new destination.  Maybe we want a new location where we can start again in a fresh environment with new people and new places to explore.  Maybe the goals we’ve been working toward aren’t as important anymore and we want to do something else.  Life is all about change.  Everything around us changes constantly and we change right along with it.  Sometimes the changes are subtle and we don’t notice them at first but then what used to fit feels off somehow and we know it’s time to move on to something new.  There are unlimited possibilities everywhere and nothing is out of reach.  We can redirect the way forward, make any changes we desire and create a new situation that is more satisfying and fulfilling.  The whole world is there for us.  We can take the first step onto a new road and bravely chart a new course.  There isn’t anything we can’t do.  Our lives are ours to design and we can change anything at any time.

Familiarity is comfortable and it can be intimidating to leave it behind.  When we know the road well and those who are traveling with us, it’s easy to continue on and keep things the same.  Transitions bring with them all kinds of new challenges and experiences and we never know what lies ahead.  But we are strong enough and courageous enough to step into the unknown and move onto a path that takes us somewhere new.  There are endless new experiences waiting for us.  We have everything we need to change things up and find success.  All options are possible and we can make them ours.

Foreign territory is only foreign until we make it ours.  There’s a first time for everything and once we take the first steps into something new we open the doors to endless possibilities and chances for success we may never have seen before.  We can try new things, go to new places, and make the unknown ours.  When we expand our sphere of exposure, we expand our thinking and begin to see the world more completely.  We have great potential and are capable of accomplishing incredible things.  We have everything we need to go anywhere and reach any goal we choose.

Today if you feel like it’s time for a change but aren’t sure about leaving what you know, remember how strong and capable you are.  You can move into uncharted territory and make it yours.  Every possibility is there for you and nothing is out of reach.  Move forward, open all the doors, take a chance and see everything possible.  There is greatness in you and nothing is out of reach.  The whole world is there for you.  Every success is possible and you can reach it.

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In Disguise

1 Jun

We experience a lot of different things as we go through our lives.  No matter how hard we try there is no way to control everything that comes to us.  Sometimes life is great, and other times the tide turns and we have to walk through difficulty and trial.  When things go wrong and we’re miserable trying to find our way through a complicated and challenging mess, it can be hard to see any benefit from what we’re enduring.  Sometimes there is just a crap storm and we may feel there’s nothing valuable in what we’re experiencing.  There may be moments when the situation is awful and nothing we can do changes it.  But there will undoubtedly also be other moments when we’re facing a big disappointment, and sure it’s the end of the world as we know it, when suddenly we see the turn has brought us a blessing we could never have predicted or expected.  We can’t read the future and a change in direction doesn’t always spell disaster.  Sometimes the turn takes us exactly where we want to go.  It’s hard to imagine a blessing when our lives are turned upside down, but when we see things from a new perspective we may find the road we’ve been seeking is already under our feet.  Life is filled with all kinds of contradictions and being willing to see everything openly will help us recognize blessings in disguise when they come.  Every success is possible but they don’t always come to us the way we plan.  Sometimes the unexpected challenge opens the door to our goal.  We can see every development as a possible window that shows us how to find our way forward.  Every destination is possible and with continued determination nothing is out of reach.

Few things come to us the moment we want them.  Most of the time we must wait for our plans to move forward or for things to fall into place so we can achieve the goal we’re seeking.  Learning to wait isn’t easy when we want something badly but patience allows us to be productive while we wait and helps us manage complications as we push ahead.  It would be wonderful if we could achieve our goals simply because we desire them but that isn’t reality.  Whatever is worth achieving is worth working for.  We can do what is needed to have the lives we desire and find success.

There is great potential in all of us but potential is only unrealized achievement.  Potential means nothing if we are unwilling to work for what we want.  We may be talented and capable but if we are lazy and do nothing to move forward we will not succeed.  Every blessing is possible and no goal is out of reach if we are willing to do what is needed to achieve it.  Waiting for our dreams to come true is like waiting for the sky to turn green.  It’s not going to happen.  We can take control of our lives, push through conflict, learn the skills we need, and create the lives we want.

Today if you’re in the midst of trouble and can’t see how anything is going to work out, be patient.  The road you’re on may lead you to the very goal you’re seeking.  You have everything you need to do anything you want.  All options are possible and no destination is too far.  Make a plan, stay the course, and reach for the stars.  They are there for you and all your dreams can come true.

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Time to Breathe

23 May

As we go through our lives we play many roles.  We are daughters and sons, spouses, partners, lovers, workers, and dozens of others.  Each day requires us to fulfill some role in our lives and take care of the responsibilities attached to it.  In the midst of all this activity and interaction we may forget to stop and pay attention to what’s going on inside us.  It can be hard to express who we truly are when we’re putting out fires and getting things done.  We may neglect personal time for reflection and private growth because of everything pressing on us.  While it’s important to accomplish the things that move us forward and take care of business as needed, it’s also important to take time for ourselves.  Peace comes when we do what’s important for us to become the people we want to be.  Time is always limited and if we don’t control it, it will control us.  There will always be one more thing to get done but our personal needs are as important as anything else we need to accomplish.  Valuing time for reflection and quiet thought will settle our minds and make the road ahead easier to navigate.  We can push and push and we may find great outward success but if we’re exhausted and unhappy when we get there our efforts will be wasted.  Life is an incredible blessing.  We have only the moment we’re in.  We can value ourselves as much as any task before us.  True happiness is always possible and caring for ourselves will make it happen.

Never in history have we been expected to do more than we are expected to accomplish today.  The standard for success is very high, and rest and relaxation have sometimes fallen by the wayside.  We can be highly motivated and productive and still take time out.  The road will not disappear if we step off it for a moment.  Everything will remain and wait for our return.  Rest brings refreshment and new ideas, and allows us to focus inwardly and let our imaginations roam.  When we sit still, ideas for complex issues have time to rise and all the hidden answers we’ve been seeking may appear.  We may discover new ways forward and have more confidence when we begin again.

It’s fine to be busy and actively engaged and we learn a lot as we complete different activities.  As we move forward it’s important to remember that every battery eventually runs low and needs to be recharged.  We don’t have to wait until we feel overwhelmed or get sick from fatigue.  We can be proactive and take time to breathe even in the midst of turmoil.  Our lives belong to us and we can design them to have the highest quality and best experience possible.

Today if you’ve been pushing personal needs aside in an effort to be more effective in the tasks at hand, take a step back and rest for a moment.  Give yourself time to breathe and think quietly.  Let your imagination soar and rest from the world.  You will find greater peace and happiness and everything you are seeking will come more easily.  You are amazing and capable, and every success is possible.  Take care of yourself and everything else will fall into place.

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