Archive | Change RSS feed for this section

Changing Channels

27 Jul

Studies of the brain show that it takes very little energy for us to change our minds.  In fact, it’s miniscule.  It takes virtually no physical effort to do it, but the emotional or mental effort is another story.  When we’re in a situation we don’t like, when we’re uncomfortable and want to change, it seems like a simple solution – just change it.  But when others are involved, and there are feelings to consider, the solution becomes complicated.  If we want to change a situation or a relationship we’ve had for a while, we want to do it well.  Often no matter how we try to make that happen someone gets hurt, and it doesn’t go as smoothly as we may have hoped.

We are in charge of our lives and we get to decide what we do and don’t do.  If we need or want a change, we are entitled to it.  But usually just waiting for the change to happen doesn’t work.  We have to initiate it.  We have to do whatever is needed to facilitate it, and make it happen.  If others are involved, that may mean a difficult conversation that we may dread.  But we deserve the life we want the most.  We deserve to be on the path that’s best for us, even if it means leaving others behind.  If we take some time to plan, we can do our best to make the change as easy as possible for all concerned.

Sometimes the changes we want to make don’t involve other people, but situations in our lives that aren’t working.  We may want to move to another location because we aren’t happy where we are.  Or change careers to something more fulfilling.  Or we may want to get more involved in some activity we’ve been putting off.  It doesn’t matter what change we are seeking, they all require action.  If we want to change our lives we can do it.  We can change anything we really want to.  We just have to decide when we’re ready, and move forward.  Once we’ve determined to go forward differently, once we’ve had the conversations and made the plans, we can start again.  We can create a new situation where we’re happier.  Change is rarely comfortable, and sometimes not as easy as we’d like, but we can manage it.  We deserve whatever we need to be happy.

Today if you’ve been struggling with wanting a change in your life, whatever it is, begin now to do what is needed to make it happen.  Be confident.  You are in charge of your life, and you can determine what makes you happiest.  Today take the first step to turn things around.  Your life is precious and you deserve to have it your way.  It’s exciting to change things up.  It’s all there for you.  Don’t wait another minute to get to it.

Tags: , ,

Potential Greatness

12 Jul

Everyone is different. We all have our share of problems, talents, gifts, and drawbacks. Nobody gets all the good stuff or all the bad stuff. Everyone has a combination of things that make them feel confident, and things that try their patience. And every day we all have the potential for greatness. Not greatness in the worldly sense, like becoming President or world leaders, but greatness in the human sense. We can be great assets to those around us, great examples for good, and great inspirations to everyone we come in contact with. The potential is there, but potential does not guarantee we’ll gain those qualities. Potential is unrealized expectation. We have the ability to become great but we have to realize it, and we have to express it.

It’s easy to skate through life. We can do just enough to get by, we can be just nice enough to get what we want, and we can share just enough of ourselves that we are accepted. It takes effort to do more. We are all certainly capable of more, but that requires time, and it requires attention. Instead of choosing to do just enough to get by, if we want to be great, we need to choose to do the best we can all the time. Instead of being just nice enough to get what we want, we must choose to extend ourselves for others, and help whenever help is needed. And instead of sharing just enough to be accepted, we have to be fully engaged, fully participating, and actively involved.

Mediocrity is easy. We don’t have to do much, or give much. It’s easy to blend in. But it’s not as rewarding or fulfilling as pushing ourselves to be the best we can be. When we push for greatness we learn to feel things more deeply, and we become a higher version of ourselves. We can always be more than we are. We can be more sensitive, more understanding, more compassionate, and more human. If everyone tried to be the best they could be, the world would become a far different place. There would be more love and less conflict, more sharing and less greed, more caring and less indifference. It would be a better place, and we can do our part to make that happen.

Today as you go about your life, as you take care of your details, as you interact with others, remember you have the potential for greatness within you. It’s already there waiting to be expressed. Today do something more to extend that to those around you. Use your potential to the fullest. You have the power to change the world. Today think about how you could change it for good.

Tags: , ,

Hit It Again

9 Jul

Have you ever had a time in your life when you were trying to make something work that just would not? Have you ever tried, and tried to push something through, something you were so sure would work, but it just wouldn’t go? Sometimes despite everything we believe, everything we do, and everything we try, sometimes things just don’t work out. It isn’t a question of intellect. It isn’t a question of determination. It’s a question of fit.

This life is filled with twists and turns, ideas, plans, and changes. We can attempt to do anything we want to. Sometimes we get an idea that seems good, but when we put it into action it just doesn’t work out. I have a friend who always wanted to live in a certain state. He was sure he would be happy there, he had read about it, thought about it, and made what he believed was a good decision to move there. But once he arrived, nothing worked out. He was stunned to learn upon arrival that because of changes in the economy, the job he had lined up had been eliminated. Although disappointed, he wasn’t too worried thinking he could find something else quickly. He had some savings, and decided to remain. However, with no income, he had to choose an apartment in a difficult location, but thinking it was only temporary he decided he could deal with that. Despite his extensive education and experience he wasn’t able to find a position right away. He got a couple of part time jobs, but they weren’t enough, and he watched as his savings dwindled to nothing. Still, he was determined to live there so he pressed forward. He pushed and pushed, trying so hard to make the decision fit, but nothing worked. After a couple of awful years, he decided he didn’t want to continue, and began looking for positions in other locations. He got an offer for a terrific job in a different state, and moved. He was disappointed with how things turned out but sometimes no matter how we plan ahead, no matter how sure we are, sometimes the plan fails. Sometimes it’s just not the right fit for us.

When this happens, it’s like trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. We push it, we hammer it, we think if we just hit it again it’ll work, but it just doesn’t fit. We need to regroup, realign, and find a square hole, which might be right next to the round one we’ve been working so hard on. Life is unpredictable. We try to make good decisions, and often we do. But sometimes we don’t know the whole story until after the decision is made. And when we finally get the whole story, we realize the decision won’t work. We can feel like failures when that happens. Why didn’t we see it? Why didn’t we know? But we haven’t really failed. We just got more information that clarified the situation for us. It may be painful, but getting the information is the most important part. And once we have it, we can start over. We can adjust the plan, and begin again.

Today if you feel you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time, and nothing is working, look at the whole picture. Are you trying to make something work that doesn’t fit you? If you are, change your direction. What do you need to do to find your place? How can you adjust things so you are happy again? Take some time to think about it, and then, make the change. Be confident. You’ll figure this out, and you’ll fix it. You deserve to be happy, and feel like your life fits. Today do what’s needed to make that happen.

Tags: , ,

The Checkout Line

29 Jun

Unfortunately in our lives, there are some situations that make us uncomfortable, and sometimes there is no way to escape them. Maybe your boss wants to talk to you about an assignment you’ve been dreading, or your friend is having a bad day and dumping it all over you, or a family member is calling because you haven’t been available and they are upset, or a million other situations come up that are uncomfortable. Because we know these things are difficult we may try to dodge them. We may ignore the phone and not answer it, duck the other way down the hall when we see someone coming, or pretend we don’t see the person we are avoiding as we rush by. Those strategies work temporarily, but eventually we have to deal with whatever is waiting for us. We can try to check out, but that only delays the inevitable.

Checking out is something we all do from time to time. If we’re in an uncomfortable or boring conversation that seems never ending, we zone out. As my former boss used to say, “We go to our happy place.” I’m not sure if where we go is happy, but it is away from the situation we’re in, which may help for the moment. The benefit of doing this is that while we’re checked out of the present, we aren’t listening to whatever is making us uncomfortable. But the down side is that as long as we’re checked out, the situation cannot change. If we don’t address the issue, decide to talk openly about it, and share our perceptions and understanding, the situation will not change. And the best thing to do when we’re in an uncomfortable situation is try to change it to a more positive scenario. In order to do that, we have to be there. We have to be present.

Being present when we’re uncomfortable takes some effort. We don’t want to be there so it takes discipline, and it may take courage. We have to choose to be there. We have to recognize that is the only way out. It seems counter intuitive that the way out is to be in, but that’s how it works. We have to stay in the situation to change it. We have to check back in.

Today if you find yourself in a difficult conversation, or an uncomfortable situation, choose to be there for it. Listen completely, and calmly share your perceptions, and views. Make suggestions to change things so they work better for you. There is nothing so confusing or difficult that you can’t figure it out. But you have to be there to do that. Between stations, the radio only plays static. If we want music in our lives, we have to tune in. So plan to tune in. You don’t need any more static in your life. Check in, turn things around and harmony will return.

Tags: , ,

Going Dark

28 Jun

The other day while driving around I stopped at a very busy intersection. While I waited for the light to change, I saw a man walking across the street. He had headphones on, and was texting. There were cars turning into his lane, and lots of traffic. He was oblivious to it all. It appeared that because of the headphones he could not hear what was going on around him, and because he was looking down at his phone as he walked across the busy intersection, he couldn’t see what was going on either. So basically, he was navigating a dangerous intersection both deaf and blind – by choice. I was stunned. It was astounding to see, and somewhat disturbing.

Today technology is everywhere. We carry our smartphones with us to keep in touch, and many of us listen to music with headphones as we go about our various tasks. There is nothing wrong with technology, but the problem comes when that technology endangers us, or isolates us. There are limits to how we can successfully use these tools. Everywhere we go, we see people walking and texting, and tripping, and running into things. People even text as they drive, and nothing could be more dangerous. Despite the many deaths that have been the result of this behavior, some continue to do it. Headphones are nice, but can be dangerous as well if they keep us from hearing alerts around us. If we don’t hear the warning, we can’t duck.

All of this technology has its place, and it’s useful. But there is always a trade off. An associate of mine sent me a picture of a dinner he recently attended. There were several company CEOs and senior leaders from various corporations there. It was a chance for ideas to be exchanged, and plans made for the coming year. The picture showed them all sitting around the table looking at their phones, and texting instead of talking. It was astonishing to see them interacting with their phones instead of with those around them, especially when there was such a wealth of experience, and inspiration available right there at the table. I’m sure we’ve all been out with friends, and waited while they texted this person or that, or took every call that came. It’s disheartening to feel that even though we have taken our time for them, they have not taken their time for us.

Today if your’re used to texting throughout the day, and wearing headphones, perhaps go dark for a while. Try being in the moment, where you are. Put your phone down, and connect with those around you. There will be time to catch up with others later. If you’re used to wearing headphones all day, try taking them off for a while to hear the conversations around you, and get involved. Enjoy your gadgets, stay in touch, but remember, while you’re pushing buttons, and texting people who aren’t there, while you’re zoning out to the music in your ears, your life is going by. Precious moments to connect with those right next to you are being missed. Take some time to go dark, unplug, connect, and converse. Interaction in person is the very best we can experience. Enjoy that. Catch your favorite tune, and check your phone later. They’ll still be there.

Tags: , ,

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →