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Lost and Found

24 Dec

We have all kinds of experiences in our lives, good and bad, usual and odd, and sometimes even crazy things happen to us. We form all kinds of relationships with friends, co-workers, acquaintances, lovers, would-be lovers, and family. Sometimes if we are captivated we can be pulled from our normal choices into situations where we might begin to believe things that aren’t true. If we’re really drawn to someone and want them to be special in our lives, and they lie to us or manipulate us, we may not see it, and if we do, we might even overlook it. It’s possible to get so caught up we lose our way, and we may make allowances for things we wouldn’t have tolerated before. Getting lost and caught up can make us forget who we are, what we really want, and where we want to be. It can be a confusing time if the other person continues to tell us everything we want to hear, but their actions belie everything they say.

It’s not hard to get lost when we want something very much. We can be manipulated because we want things to go a certain way. We play along when we aren’t sure, and if we feel uncertainty, we may ignore it. Even when nothing makes sense we can be willing participants in the lie because we want so badly for it to be true. But lies are not truth and never will be. Even when convincing ourselves that things are okay, there may a niggling suspicion they are not. If we’re ready we’ll pay attention to the small whisper in the back of our minds, and try to see things more clearly and objectively. However, if we’re so entrenched and deeply involved, it’s hard to see or hear anything but what we’re living.

Making personal connections is important to us. We want to feel loved and cared for, and we want others in our lives. It’s healthy to want to share our lives with those around us, but it can be destructive to believe in false situations. We may lose who we are in the process. Getting lost happens, but we can find our way back when we’re ready. If we pay attention we will find the truth. We are very perceptive and even when we don’t want to see it, we can perceive when things aren’t right, when truth isn’t being told, and when we’re headed in the wrong direction. But seeing it and changing it are two different things. If we want real happiness in our lives, we must live truthfully. If we want a real connection with someone, it needs to be honest. If we’re in relationships that don’t offer complete truth and honesty, we will get hurt. Those types of relationships never succeed over time. How long we keep them in our lives is our choice. We are in control of our decisions and no matter where we are now, if we want to change our course, we can. We deserve happiness and we deserve the very best. And we have everything we need to make sure we get it.

Today if you realize you’ve been caught up in a situation that has taken you away from who you really are, and things aren’t making sense, begin to correct your course. You know who you are, and you know what you want. You deserve complete honesty and happiness in your life. Today remember what a gift you are to the world. You are worth more than you can imagine.

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Big Left Turn

21 Dec

Unfortunately, even though we try not to, sometimes we make a terrible decision. We do something that hurts others and is so egregious our lives are greatly impacted. Sometimes what we’ve done impacts us or others so greatly, nothing is ever really the same afterward. We may not have done it on purpose, or we might have acted willingly if we were angry enough, but whether we meant to or not, once it’s done it can’t be undone. If we’ve made a big left turn and broken the road we’ve been on, our lives will change. If we’ve hurt those we care about we may feel the repercussions for a long time.  Sadly, sometimes a relationship we really cared about is so badly damaged it cannot be repaired. When this happens, once we realize the full impact of what we’ve done, we may feel great remorse. If we’re still angry we might not feel sorrow for a while, but it’s destined to come to us at some point. Since we can’t change the past all we can do is go forward. We have to do what we can to make things right, and forgive ourselves. The road may have changed dramatically and we may feel very unsettled until we figure out what to do next, but going forward is our only option.

There are lots of reasons why we make big mistakes, but in the end, the reasons really won’t matter. The only thing that matters is what we do next. If we’ve lost a valuable relationship we can try to rebuild it. If we are able to regain the trust of the other person, it’s possible we may restore it.  However, if the trust has been broken too severely, we may never have that relationship back. If there’s someone we really care about and we’ve lost them, our only option forward is to love them from afar and let them know we want them in our lives. Over time we all change. Wounds heal, and feelings mend. After enough time has passed it’s possible we’ll be able to start again.

Our lives are fluid and ever changing. What we do today often affects what comes to us tomorrow. The worst decisions are often made out of anger and haste, when we rush to an assumption or try to even a score. We may prevent bad decisions if we stop and give ourselves time to think before we act. We know we should, but in the heat of the moment, sometimes things get out of control. Being out of control never brings happiness and often brings heartache. If we can take some time to breathe and think before we jump, we may figure out a way forward that will not destroy our relationships or the path we want to be on. Only we can decide what we’ll do. We can make good decisions and we can choose wisely.  If we wait just for a moment, and consider where we’re going, oftentimes we’ll make a better and happier decision. Hard times come to us all but we can prevent them from becoming disastrous if we stop and think before we act.

Today if you’re feeling edgy and upset, if you’re angry and determined to get even or make someone pay for some slight you think they’ve caused, stop for a moment before you do anything. There is a lot at stake. Your relationships, your future happiness, and your personal peace are a big price to pay for anger. Don’t pay it. Take a breath. This is just a moment and it will pass. Give yourself some space. The right answer will come and you’ll be in control. Then make the best decision and you’ll go forward with confidence. You know what to do. Today choose the right and peace will follow.

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Inspiring

19 Dec

We have a choice every day to decide how we will act and what we will do. We all do some things well, and some things not as well, but as we make our decisions we can decide that no matter what, we’ll be the best we can be. It’s easy to go through the motions, and just take things as they come, but if we want to get the most from every moment we have to do a little more. At every turn, we can decide not to make just a good decision, but to make the best decision. We can choose not to do just enough, but to do the best we can. If we consciously decide to try our best to be our best, our lives will be more rewarding and more fulfilling, and we’ll inspire those around us.

We’ve all heard of the bell curve. When I was a child and got frustrated over some decision someone had made that impacted me, my father would say, “You’ve got to remember the bell curve.” I never really understood what he meant until I got older. As you might recall from school, the bell curve represents our performance with the majority of us landing smack in the middle in the land of mediocrity. If we want to just get by in our lives and do the least amount needed to move forward, we’ll have lots of company. But if we want to live closer to the edge, where we have to try harder, where we have to think a little longer before we act, and where every decision is measured well, we’ll have the best company. We design our lives the way we want them. If we want mediocrity we can surely have it. But if we want something more, and want to see what we’re really capable of, we need to focus and stretch. The choice is ours alone to make.

When we’re reaching for something better and trying to become more than what we are now, it takes personal effort. We can’t afford the luxury of complacency. We have to be engaged all the time. Each opportunity brings many choices. Paying attention to each option, looking at it objectively and seeing where it will lead doesn’t always take a lot of time. But it does take our attention. If we want to live an extraordinary life, if we want to do more than the minimum, if we want to be our best, we can. Once I heard two pianists perform the same piece within days of each other. Each was performed technically perfectly. Each was done well, but there was no comparison between the two. The first artist played perfectly without a single mistake. Her timing was exact and she was proficient. But the second artist played as though every emotion she possessed came out onto the keys. She felt the music, and she expressed it in a way that made the listener part of it. It was a breathtaking performance and many were brought to tears by the end. Both pianists were excellent, but one chose to put everything she had into the music and it made all the difference. If we lived our lives like that, if we put everything into each decision, we would be a positive influence. We would be inspiring. We can choose to be our best, and when we do our lives will be better. We’ll be stronger, more confident, and an example to those around us.

Today if you’ve been doing well but not giving all you can, rethink your plan. You have so many wonderful things to share. Open yourself up to being more, to thinking a bit more deeply, and to letting your very best self shine forward. You have the power to inspire those around you. Be your best. Reach further. You can change your world.

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Easy Questions Hard Answers

18 Dec

When we’re making decisions about our lives, deciding where we want to go, and what we want to do, we have to answer a lot of questions. Some are quick, and we know the answers before we even think about them but others, although they look easy at first, can be hard to answer. Questions can be deceptive. Something simple like, “What do you want to do now?” seems easy on the surface, but when the answers we choose have far reaching consequences, they can be hard to resolve. We spend so much time doing what others expect from us, what we think we should be doing, and what is required to make things work that when it comes to questions about our personal choices they can be harder to answer than they seem at first. What do we want to do now? Where do we want to go? What do we want to accomplish? How can we make it happen? These all seem like easy questions, but the answers can be elusive.

It seems we sometimes forget who we really are and what we really want. We’re busy, and trying hard to get things done, we have a lot of responsibilities, and at the end of the day we may feel like we’ve been lost in the shuffle. But if we want to be happy, really happy with our lives, and stand on the road we most want to be on, we need to think about what we really want. Do we want to spend time doing the same thing tomorrow we did today? Are we doing what’s most important to us? Are we happy? Do we feel fulfilled with how we’re spending our days? All are important questions. If our lives are too busy, we may not take time to look at them and find the answers. We need to remember what we truly want, and who we really are. Our lives belong to us and we can live them any way we want to.

Sometimes we can tangled up in situations that take us off course. Maybe we commit to a relationship that isn’t working, or we keep a job we hate, or we continue to do something that makes us miserable because others expect it. When that happens, it takes determination and courage to step away and do what is needed to turn things around. But we have sufficient determination and courage to do it. We have everything we need to change our course, and we are the only ones who can make it happen. We don’t have to convince anyone we need to change, we don’t have to come up with a dozen reasons why what we’ve been doing isn’t working, and we don’t have to feel any guilt. If we need to change, we can change. We are in control of our time and our futures. We can have the lives we want most, be the person we want to be, and live happily. The moment we decide is the perfect time to start.

Today if you’ve been doing things that aren’t working and you aren’t happy, think about what you want the most. Remember who you really are and then make the changes necessary to bring happiness into your life. Every day is a precious gift. Your gift is today. Make it work for you. Make it the way you want it to be. You deserve everything you want. Reach for it, and make it yours.

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Tickling Joy

14 Dec

Today as I was returning to my car at the supermarket after shopping, there was an elderly gentleman pushing a cart in front of me. As soon as we got across the walkway, he gave his cart a big push and hopped onto the back to ride it to his car. It was delightful and enchanting to see him with a big smile on his face, riding his cart as though he were a young boy enjoying himself. I was so amused I laughed out loud and wondered when the last time was that I enjoyed myself so thoroughly. Sure I have fun with my friends, and I do things I enjoy, but I could not remember the last time I really tickled my joy in such a free and uninhibited way. Just like everyone else, I have responsibilities to take care of, and they have a way of taking over. Seeing that man riding the grocery cart made me want more joy in my life. I want more feelings of pure enjoyment – just like he had. Our lives flash by in an instant. The years go round so fast, and before we know it they are gone. If we don’t grab hold and create the joyful moments when we can, the chance flies by. But if we are aware, we can find those moments and make the most of them.

Tickling joy takes a little thought. There are countless opportunities for us to open up and see things from a different perspective. When it’s raining outside we can bemoan the slow traffic, and the mud on our shoes, or we can watch it fall on the leaves feeding the trees, and imagine the flowers drinking it in greedily. We can smile remembering when we used to play in the rain, and how much fun it was to splash in the puddles. When we have a lot to get done and feel pressed for time we can get stressed and worry that we won’t finish, or we could make it a contest to see how much we can get done and promise ourselves a special treat if we accomplish half of the things on our list. And then when we get half of them done, we can take a little break to enjoy that treat. We can turn a chore into fun just by thinking about it a little differently. It’s all a matter of perspective. If we open our thoughts up to different ways of seeing things, we can bring more joy into our lives.

Sharing joy with others is a precious gift. Many of us are overwhelmed and feel unappreciated. If we took just a moment to smile at someone else, and share something we enjoy with them, their spirits could be lifted and they may feel more joy. We can be the gift that turns someone else’s day around. We can be the one bright spot that tickles them. All we have to do is share ourselves and some happy thought. It doesn’t take much but it can mean a great deal to those receiving it. We all impact those around us every day. It’s up to us to make sure the impact we make is positive, joyful, and happy. Of course, we’ll have down days when things go wrong, and we don’t feel our best, but even in those times, we can share a smile. Tickling joy and making it shine is a small thing but the rewards are great.

Today remember there is joy all around you. You can create it in any situation you face. Make the best of your day and bring light into it at every turn. Share that light with those around you. You have so much to give. It’s fun to laugh, it’s wonderful to feel happy, and no matter what happens today, you can find joy. When you find it, share it with those around you. Be the one who brings the light. You already have it inside you. You really are amazing.

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