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Just As You Are

11 Jun

Today there is a lot of pressure on us to be perfect. We’re bombarded with messages that we have to be fit, and look good. We have to eat a certain way. All our relationships need to be happy. We have to wear nice clothes, style our hair in the latest trend, and have money in the bank. We must look young, and vibrant at every age. These messages are constant in the media all around us every day. The goal is perfection, but nobody is perfect. Since we aren’t perfect, we may question ourselves. Are we doing enough? Are we trying hard enough? Why aren’t we enough just as we are? It’s exhausting. Somewhere the world went crazy, and perfection became the new expectation. But perfection is just a goal. In this life, it’s not the achievement.

It’s easy to feel like we are less than we should be up against such high standards. It’s easy to feel bad, and think we don’t measure up, when in fact, we’re probably just fine. Our standards should be set by us. We need to determine what we want our lives to be like, and what they should look like. Nobody is living our lives but us. We get to custom make them, and decide how they work. We can set our own goals as high as we like. We can do anything, but we should do what we want to do, and not what others think we should do. It’s okay if we’re average height, average weight, average intelligence, and have an average sized bank account. We can strive for more if we want, but wherever we are, we can be happy. We’re fine where we are. In fact, we’re perfectly fine.

Our lives can be anything we want them to be, and they never have to match someone else’s ideas. If we let others decide how we should live, we will never figure out what we really want. And discovering what we really want for ourselves is the first step to true happiness. We will be happy if we are living our lives our way, and we all deserve to be happy.

Today, be who you are. Ignore all the messages that you have to be more, do more, and look a certain way. If you want to change something, make a plan and change it. If you’re happy with things the way they are, enjoy yourself. This is your time to make the most of your life. Do it your way. Nobody can live your life better than you. You know exactly how it should go. And when you’re doing it your way, nothing will stop you from getting what you want. The end of the rainbow does not have a pot of gold. You have it every day you choose to be happy. Today, make that choice. Be happy. You are perfect just as you are.

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One of a Kind

10 Jun

There are about 10,000 species of birds on our planet, and over 2500 different types of butterflies. There are millions of different animals, and countless varieties of insects, and bugs. The variety in the wildlife kingdom is astounding. It’s amazing to think of the vast array of living things that inhabit our planet. Even the ordinary dog encompasses hundreds of different breeds. And they are all unique – every one of them.

This earth is an amazing place. If we traveled to every location on the planet we would see unique, and interesting animals at each stop. They come in every color imaginable, in every shape, and in every design we could possibly dream up. There are so many different kinds of creatures, there are limitless designs, and each one is unique unto itself. It’s amazing really. But that’s not the most impressive thing about living here on earth. The most impressive part is that there are over seven BILLION people here with us. They come is all colors as well, each fascinating in his or her own way, each perfectly unique, and one of a kind. Billions of us. And, just like the other creatures inhabiting our planet, there is nothing common or ordinary about us. Not one single person is exactly like the other. No matter where we go, we will never find anyone else exactly like us.

All of these differences are a great blessing to us. Imagine what it would be like if all the animals were the same. Only one kind of mammal, one kind of bird, one kind of butterfly, and so on. And then imagine we were all the same. We all looked exactly alike, our personalities were the same, and everything about us mirrored the person beside us. It would be so boring! I’ve heard people say, “If everyone would just do things my way, it would be so much easier.” And it might be. Although our differences can sometimes bring us disagreement, and conflict, those differences are sacred. They make us who we are. They give life depth, and meaning. There are so many varieties of people, how we look, how we speak, how we dress, and how we act. And all those varieties make all the difference.

Today, no matter where you live, as you walk or ride from place to place, look around. Look at whatever animals are around, and notice their uniqueness. Then look around at all the people, and see how amazingly different they are. Feel the pleasure that comes as you notice their individuality. And remember that you are amazing, and unique to others. You are perfectly filling the space you were created for. You are special. The world is different because you are here. There is nobody else like you. You’re exactly as you should be. You are one of a kind. And that’s a perfect design.

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Ducks

31 May

There is a popular saying that has several versions. Perhaps you’ve heard it, and maybe used it from time to time. “If it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck, it’s a duck.” It’s an effective axiom that applies to many situations. When in doubt and unsure about something, we can apply this saying, and come up with a seemingly logical answer. It works sometimes. But what if it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck, but somehow actually isn’t a duck? Then we’ve missed the mark. So how can we really know?

People can appear to be standoffish and aloof when they don’t mean to. Perhaps they seem to be rude because they look away when we say hello, and won’t initiate conversation when others are around. Or they may seem to be arrogant because they tend to keep themselves apart from the group. Sometimes all of these things are true – sometimes they are standoffish, aloof, and arrogant. They are ducks. But what if someone acts this way because they are just very shy? What if it’s hard for them to interact with others? They tend to hide and don’t initiate contact because it’s not something they are comfortable with. It takes some time and understanding to figure out what is really going on with those around us. Before we start labeling them, we should probably get all the facts.

People are complex and generally don’t tell everyone everything that is going on in their lives. They keep things to themselves because they are personal, and may be difficult to talk about. They may seem to be secretive. Others may be intimidated by large group activities. There is too much going on, and it makes them uncomfortable. They may seem anti-social, when actually they just don’t like big events. And there are those who are always the first to leave the party, and don’t ever stay long. Some may think they are unfriendly because they don’t hang around to socialize. But there may be a reason they need to get home that they haven’t shared.

It’s important that we take a wide view when interpreting personal expression. Today if you find yourself making judgment calls based on what you’re seeing at a superficial level, stop for a moment and think again. Things may be far different than they seem. Give the benefit of the doubt. There is always more to the story than we know. Be the one who extends friendship and acceptance when others are labeling ducks. “If it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck, it’s a duck.” Well, it is – sometimes. But be careful. Sometimes it’s not a duck at all.
 

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Not Happening

24 May

There are times in everyone’s life when we want something very much. If it’s something we feel would be good for us, something that would make us happy, something that would make our lives better, we hope for it. We yearn for it, think about it, wait for it, and pray for it. But sometimes the thing we really want doesn’t come. No matter what we do, it’s just not in the cards for us. We try changing the plan, and that doesn’t work. We try changing our focus, and that doesn’t work. No matter what we do, we can’t get to where we want to be.

It’s very hard to accept not being able to have something we want very much. If it’s something we believed we would achieve, it’s very hard to let it go. But this life is full of twists and turns, and sometimes the road doesn’t take us where we thought we were headed. Sometimes the destination isn’t what we planned on.

How can we accept no for an answer? How can we let go of something we want so badly? How do we handle the disappointment? If we’ve done all we could do, and still the plan didn’t work, what do we do now? How do we go forward?

If you hold a baseball in your hand, all five fingers encircling it, you have it securely. You won’t drop it. If you lift one finger, you can still hold it. The same is true if you lift two fingers, even three – you can still hold onto the ball with the remaining two. But once you lift the fourth finger, the ball will teeter and fall. Having a dream we really want is like holding onto the baseball. When we’re trying to adjust to a big change, a big disappointment, it’s like letting the ball fall. It’s not easy to just let the hope go, we’ve held it for too long. But if we lift one finger at a time, just ease into the release, we can let go of the yearning, and the disappointment. One step at at time, we can go on.

We all have things we want in our lives – good things, things we feel we deserve, things that would be beneficial for us. But sometimes the answer is no. Sometimes the timing is wrong. Sometimes what we think is best for us isn’t where life takes us. It’s hard to let go of the desire for something we’ve wanted so badly. We have to accept the disappointment gradually – let the dream go, one finger at a time.

Today if you realize that something you’ve wanted for so long isn’t going to happen, if you are stung with the understanding that it’s just not going to work, it’s okay. It just means the path is a little different than you thought it would be. Good things will still come to you – they’ll just be a a little different than you thought they would be. Life is all about adapting, accepting change, and learning to adjust. Start again. This is just a step. The road is long. There will be more dreams, and many of them will come true.

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Spare change?

6 May

Today while driving home from work, I saw a man standing in the median with a sign asking for money. He was on the other side of the road facing away from me, but I’ve seen him before. He has one leg, and stands with a crutch, but you can see his wheelchair across the road. I don’t know what his story is. I don’t know what his problems are. I don’t know anything about him except that he is seeking money.

Everyone has their own ideas about giving to beggars on the street. Some people feel they should help if they can, because they have sufficient for their needs, and they want to share. Others, convinced that the money will not be used for good, look the other way, and refuse to give. Wherever we stand on the issue, we will, from time to time, have the opportunity to evaluate our decision. Every city, every town, everywhere we go, there are unfortunate people who beg for money.

Whether or not to give money to these people is a personal choice. If we decide to give, we are offering a blessing. We are extending our hands to help. We are being charitable. The decision of what happens with the gift after it is given belongs to the person who receives it. If it is used for good – the decision is on them. If it is used for other things – the decision is on them as well. They are accountable for what they do with the gift, not us. We are accountable only for offering the gift. Anytime we are charitable and kind, anytime we offer assistance, anytime we help in any way, we are blessed. Our decision is noble. It is worthy, and it is selfless. And our decision is the only one we answer for.

I keep five dollars in the ashtray of my car to use if the opportunity arises where I may give to someone in need. Since I don’t smoke, the ashtray has been used for nothing else. The money is there, and ready if I feel prompted to help when I see someone asking. Sometimes I get a feeling that it’s not the time, and I wait. Other times, the five dollars is theirs. As it passes hands, I always bless the person and wish them well, and without exception, they return the blessing back to me. Most of the time as I drive away I have to choke back tears, not because I’m sad, but because I realize, again, how much I have.

Today if you see someone seeking help, asking for money, think about where you stand. Remember, the gift, if you offer it, is your blessing to them. What they do from there is their decision. But the blessing remains as a testament to your kindness and charity. And the world certainly needs more of those. If you aren’t the one out on the street begging, no matter what the circumstances are, your life is better than theirs. Don’t forget that.

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