Archive | October, 2016

Redefining

6 Oct

We all have ideas about what success looks like. For some it’s how much we earn, what we look like, or what goals we accomplish. Everyone has a different idea and how we see our personal success often defines how we see ourselves. If we haven’t reached a level we want to achieve we may be discouraged. If we haven’t moved our careers forward like we thought we would or haven’t gotten the praise we think we deserve we can feel like we’re failing. Although success is a personal description of what we want and where we want to go it is often influenced by the ideas held by others. If those around us see it only one way and we haven’t reached that level, we may be discouraged. If we don’t meet their standards and they are important to us, we may feel like failures. It really doesn’t matter how anyone determines what success is but us. If our idea of success if that we manage to get our tasks done every day and don’t lose our temper and we accomplish that, we are successful. We decide what our personal success looks like and we determine how we’ll achieve it. We can redefine what others call it and make it unique to ourselves.

We all have different experiences in life and as a result have unique perspectives about things. What one sees as moving forward, another may see as taking a step back. If we’re focused on non-profit work our motivation may not be to make more money. On the other hand, if we’re driven to be financially independent our income level will mean a lot. The interpretations of how to live our lives depend on who we are and what we want. Our personal choices determine what’s best for us and our personal ideas of success may be very different from the ideas of those around us. We are entitled to define our lives any way we choose and will find happiness from making our personal dreams come true.

The pressures of the world may make us believe our choices aren’t good enough or valiant enough and any number of other ideas. But that doesn’t matter. We have a gift to offer that nobody else can offer. What we do is up to us and we can define success our own way. Maybe we define it by being very patient, or by serving our community, or by practicing the piano every day, or by helping a student with homework. Or maybe we define it by how much money we make or how many people we help. However, we define it we can achieve it. The world has all kinds of ideas about success but we don’t have to adopt them. We can redefine it specifically for us and find great joy in being exactly who we are and achieving what is most important to us. Our lives belong to us and what we do with them is our choice.

Today if you feel pressure to succeed based on someone else’s idea of what that is you can choose your own path. You know what you want and you know how to get it. Be exactly who you are and define success your way. You are a gift to the world and we’re all blessed because you’re here. Your success is defined by you and you will achieve it.

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Really?

5 Oct

When we’re enchanted by someone or a situation, we don’t always see things exactly as they are.  We may be entranced by appearances and mesmerized by beautiful words.  If we really want it to be real we may be convinced despite all indications to the contrary.  We may get caught up in fiction and fail to see truth.  As time passes there may be cracks in the armor but if we’re convinced that what we believe is real we may simply ignore them.  Living in the land of fiction rarely brings happiness and often results in pain.  Truth is invincible and will rise and no matter where we are we will eventually face it.  If we’ve been truly duped we may be seriously hurt.  It’s hard to accept that anyone would purposely deceive us and if we care about them, we may feel devastated.  There isn’t anything we can’t face when we’re ready.  The trick is to live so we’re always willing to see things as they really are and live our lives truthfully.  When we really want something we may buy into a situation that is false but being courageous enough to evaluate it and move forward honestly is the only way to real happiness.

Successful relationships require honesty.  We must be honest about who we are and what we’re doing.  Lying, deceiving, pretending or in any way being untruthful can destroy even the strongest relationship.  If the other party likes certain things we don’t enjoy we can pretend we enjoy them too.  We can pretend to have personality traits we know will be attractive to someone else, or say things we don’t really mean but which we know will bring someone closer to us.  We can do anything we want to convince others to be a part of our lives.  But every deception will be uncovered in time.  It may come to light immediately, or it may take time but it will be revealed.  Once dishonesty has been uncovered, trust is damaged and the relationship will be hurt.  It may take serious time to restore trust and in some cases the relationship may be broken.

Everyone is different and we each have special gifts to offer.  We are valuable and precious in our own way.  We can be confident in honoring that value and understanding we are a gift to the world.  We don’t have to fit anyone else’s model to be loved.  We don’t have to pretend to be something we aren’t.  We are perfect just as we are.  Understanding that and accepting ourselves as we are will help us live more genuinely.  We can be perfectly honest about what we like and what we don’t, our personalities, our unique traits and what we have to offer.  We don’t have blend to fit in and we don’t have to change to be loved.  We are who we are and that’s enough.  We can live our lives honestly and openly and be the best we can be.

Today if you find you’ve been deceived and are hurt, learn as much as you can from the experience.  You are capable of finding truth and accepting it.  If you’ve been pretending to be something you aren’t remember how precious you are just being yourself. You have so much to offer.  Be the best you can be today.  Be brave.  You are lovable just as you are.

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First Rays

4 Oct

During cold months, early in the morning when it’s still dark outside the air can be frigid. We feel the chill as our breath freezes and the cold creeps into us the longer we remain outside. But with the very first ray of sunshine everything begins to warm. The first bit of sun brings with it incredible warmth and before long everything is different. It takes only moments for the sun’s rays to begin to change the entire landscape. What was only visible in black and white before their arrival bursts forth in glorious color and the frost we experienced only moments ago disappears. The first rays of sunshine change everything. What was cold and bleak, and dark and dim, becomes warm and inviting and easy to see. It’s magical when you experience it and it seems impossible the whole world could change so quickly. The sun’s reach is amazing and constant, and we count on it every single morning.

In our lives there will be times that are dark and cold. We may face situations that feel impossible to navigate, where the answers are hard to find and everything seems cloudy and grey. We may feel frozen and anchored, unable to move. There is a chill deep inside and it’s hard to see the road ahead. When we feel isolated and alone, and there is no light, it may seem we will never find our way again. But time passes and as we cope with each step we eventually find an answer – something that opens a tiny crack in the door blocking our way. A small ray of light beams through giving us inspiration. We push forward a little more and as we do answers become available and we uncover the way ahead. Before we know it there is sunshine all around us and we have found our way through. Many problems we face don’t have sudden and quick answers. Often we need to work moment by moment until we find our way back into the light.

No problem is unsolvable. There is no situation we’ll face that will endure forever. Everything changes and nothing is constant. If we remember that when we’re in the dark and everything feels gray and cold, we’ll feel more hope that we’ll find our way. The first rays of sunshine are there for us just on the other side of the door blocking our path. We will get to it and the comfort it will bring. No night, no matter how dark, lasts forever. The sun will rise no matter how tempestuous the night has been. We can endure the darkness knowing the first rays of morning will warm us and light our way forward. We can work toward them, and wait for them patiently until they arrive. The light will surely come. Keeping our eyes focused on it will make the path easier and we’ll have more confidence as we navigate the way forward.

Today if you feel dark and troubled, if you’re in a difficult place that seems impossible to overcome, remember the light is just ahead. Keep moving forward. What is gray and cold now will soon be bright and warm. Everything will change and you’ll thrive going forward. Nothing can stop the sun from shining or from you prevailing. Soon everything will change. Keep your sights set on the road forward. Happiness is just ahead.

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The Best Gift

3 Oct

For many of us, our lives are filled with activity.  There are things we must accomplish, things we want to do and constant responsibilities that take our time.  Many of us stay busy and sometimes our personal needs fall to the end of the list.  We can be so consumed with the needs of others and pending projects we can forget to take care of ourselves.  It’s good to be actively engaged and productive but the quality of our lives may be affected if we don’t remember our needs are important too.  And the quality of our lives is a gift we give to ourselves.  Although others may do things for us that help, in the end how we take care of our personal needs is up to us.  We have control over how we manage our time and we can give ourselves the best care and consideration even when we’re busy.  We can put ourselves first before anything else.  We can set time aside to do something we enjoy that will bring us respite and refreshment.  And we can make the quality of our lives a priority.  If we take care of our needs first we will have more energy and be happier.  We’ll feel more at peace if we’ve taken the time we need before we give the rest away.  The quality of our lives is the best gift we can give ourselves, and it is always in our power.

Nobody knows exactly how our days go but us.  We interact with others who ask for our time unaware of any personal parameters.  Sometimes we can choose to help or not and other times because of the situation we may be expected to agree.  If there is something we want to be involved in the time spent may be rewarding.  But even with the reward if we expend all our energies outward there will be nothing left for us.  It’s possible to give too much.  Every well will go dry if the water isn’t replenished.  If we believe we don’t deserve personal time we may neglect it and after a while that neglect may affect our demeanor and comfort.  We may find situations that used to make us feel satisfied are no longer enjoyable.  We may feel no accomplishment when we complete a task because there are other tasks waiting for our attention.  Constantly doing for others will take its toll and we may feel used up and exhausted, unhappy with our lives and unsettled.

If we want to be happy we must make taking care of ourselves a priority.  If we are pro-active in planning for the things that mean the most to us – getting to the gym, taking a walk, time for reading, just time out – we’ll feel more relaxed and at peace as we attend to all our responsibilities.  Taking care of ourselves is the most important task we have.  If we are tired, unwell, stressed and over worked, we will be less successful in our projects.  Remembering the quality of our lives is important and doing what is needed to honor that will make that quality high.  We deserve the very best we have to offer and we can give it to ourselves.

Today if you’ve got a lot to accomplish remember to take time out for yourself.  You are the most important thing you need to take care of today.  Give yourself the best gift you can by taking care of your needs first.  You’ll feel calmer and happier and everything else will be easier.

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