Archive | January, 2016

Circles

12 Jan

As we live our lives we have three choices when we think about our progress. We can move forward, we can stay where we are, or we can go backward. Sometimes we’re happy where we are and comfortable, and we don’t need or want the challenge of change. Sometimes we have to go backward to accomplish something that needs to be addressed. But generally we want to move forward in our lives. We have goals we want to achieve and plans for our future. Sometimes we get caught up in a situation that stalls our progress. We can get stuck and end up going around in circles unable to move forward. Sometimes it’s because of a relationship that isn’t working, or a job situation that has us frozen in time, and sometimes it’s because we really aren’t sure how to go forward so we keep repeating the same pattern over and over. Going around in circles is frustrating. Even when we recognize that’s what’s happening we may not know how to stop the process. A circle is just a continually repeating pattern. All we have to do to break the cycle is step a little to the right or the left to change direction. It sounds easy but patterns have a way of taking control, and unless we are determined to make a change, we may find ourselves stuck for a while.

Healthy relationships are active. They are constantly changing and if we’re paying attention to them, can be continually improving. But sometimes relationships can become stagnant, and don’t change, and we may get stuck. If it’s a relationship that’s important to us we may stay in the situation longer than we’re comfortable. However, if we want things to change, we have to speak up and express our concerns. We can ask for what we need to make the relationship move forward and if the other person is in agreement, things may improve. But if we can’t do anything to change the situation we must decide how we want to proceed. For some people, staying on the same course is fine, even if they’re stuck, so long as they have the other person in their lives. For others, if they’re unhappy and things don’t change, it may be necessary to leave the relationship behind. We’re all different and only we can determine what’s best for us.

If we have plans for our future and goals we’re working toward but find that we aren’t getting any closer to them doing what we’ve been doing, we can change. If the road we’ve been on isn’t taking us where we want to go, we can change direction. We can achieve almost anything we want to if we want it badly enough. If we aren’t moving closer to our goal then we’re either moving further away from it, or we’re standing still. Once we determine where we’re headed and what we want, we can adjust our plans and change our course whenever we need to. All the roads are open to us. All the avenues to get there are available. We can pay attention to what we’re doing and modify our plans for success. If one path doesn’t work, we can simply try another. If we stay true to the objective and keep our eyes on the prize, we’ll get there. We don’t have to go around in circles, and we don’t have to be stuck any longer than we want. We have all the power we need to move forward.

Today if you feel like you’ve been treading water and going in circles and you’re no closer to a goal you want to achieve, switch things up. Try something new. Let go of the things that are holding you back and modify your plans so you can move forward. You can do anything. See the destination in front of you and steer yourself toward it. You’ll be successful and everything you are hoping for will come to you.

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Despite It All

11 Jan

There are times in everyone’s life when things don’t work out. Sometimes it seems like, for reasons we can’t fathom, everything goes wrong.  Everything we try fails, every idea is wrong, and every attempt to fix the situation falls flat. At times like those it can feel like the planets have aligned against us, the stars are raining down on us, and a black cloud is following us everywhere we go. Of course, we are overstating the situation, but when we feel beset and overwhelmed, when we’re trying hard and nothing goes the way we want it to, it can feel that way. We can believe that it’s our fault, and although we know it’s a temporary situation, we may think we’ll never be right again. But everything in this life is fluid and ever changing. What we’re going through today will certainly change in some way tomorrow, maybe not the way we’re hoping it will, but it will be different. The old saying that there is a light at the end of the tunnel has a caveat – it might be an on-coming train! And that’s just how things go sometimes.  We can be in uncomfortable situations that unfortunately get worse before they get better.  But even if that happens, things will change at some point and we can begin again.

How are we supposed to manage when we feel like everything is off its axis and we’re walking around on an off kilter syncopated path that keeps twisting and mixing things up? We have choices regarding how we’ll handle the calamities that befall us all. We can hole up in our rooms, lie in bed, and pull the covers over our heads until things improve. We can get angry and snap at everyone around us because we’re unhappy, or we can try something more positive.  No matter what we’re going through we can choose how we’ll navigate it.  We can endure the trial miserably or we can see it for what it is – just a bump in the road – and face it with optimism. No trip is without problems, and no journey is without struggle. But there isn’t a problem or journey that lasts forever, so whatever disappointments we face will resolve in time. How much time that takes is different for every situation but no matter how long it takes, we have the power to manage it, and manage it well.

A bump in the road is a transient situation. Sometimes there are big potholes we have to drive around, and sometimes we don’t see them in time and our tires get stuck in them. They are annoying, and can hang us up, but they aren’t the end of the road. They aren’t our destination. They are just a complication along the way. We can navigate them and if we get stuck we can figure out how to get out again. We are resourceful and wise. There really isn’t anything we can’t manage if we give ourselves time to figure things out. If we remember that when our lives take a nose dive and we feel overwhelmed, we can put everything into the proper perspective. Nothing is forever but death, and we aren’t dead yet. So this will pass. We are more capable than we realize and we will, despite everything that’s going wrong, prevail. There isn’t a bump big enough to stop us from going forward and finding success.

Today if everything is going wrong and you feel like giving up, remember this is a temporary situation. It’s not permanent and it’s not too big for you to handle. No matter what comes you can manage it and find your way to happiness again. You have everything you need to succeed. This is just a moment. There are wonderful things just ahead.

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Yes You Can

9 Jan

Hard times come to us all. We can try to do everything right, we can try to make the best decisions, and we can try to choose wisely, but no matter what we do, things will go wrong from time to time. Sometimes they are minor adjustments in our path, simple annoyances that keep us on our toes for a while and then fade away. But other times, we may have to face very difficult circumstances where everything we thought was real is questionable, and all the security we thought we had seems to disappear. Often we have no warning that the bottom is about to fall out of our lives, and when it comes we can be stunned and frozen, unable to figure out what to do or how to get through. It’s hard to face really difficult times and our pain, worry or sorrow as we navigate them may be intense. It’s like the whole world has suddenly changed and we are in a foreign and sometimes frightening place. It takes courage to face the days, and temerity to keep going forward.

When very hard times come upon us, we may feel overwhelmed, and confused, or if it’s bad enough, we may even feel destroyed. For a time we might think we can’t get through and the situation will ruin us forever. But no matter what comes, even the worst possible scenario, we can face it and we can figure it out. It sometimes just comes down to deciding not to quit. We may not know exactly how we’re going to find our way, we may have no idea how to fix the problem and we may feel completely lost, but if we simply decide we aren’t going to quit, we will eventually succeed. Surrender is never an option if we want to be in control of our lives. We can’t prevent what comes to us, or what goes wrong, but we can control what we do. We can make any decision we want to and even in the face of disaster we can decide not to quit. We can determine to keep pushing forward and working the problem until we find our way out again.

If we find ourselves in a terrible situation that has been caused by someone else in our lives, and we’ve been desperately hurt, our relationship will certainly be affected. If it’s someone close to us, and someone we love, it will take time to decide how to go forward with or without them, and recover. We can’t control what anyone else does, and when their decisions hurt us, it has an impact on our feelings for them. If the relationship is very important to us, we may find a way to continue to be part of it, but if the damage is great, it will sometimes sever all connections between us and them. There is only so much damage any relationship can handle before it breaks. It’s devastating to lose someone close to us because of a bad decision, but sometimes that happens. We must do what is best for us and what enables us to go forward successfully. Sometimes that means changing those we share our lives with. If that happens we may grieve for some time, but eventually we’ll find our footing again and if enough time passes and we choose to, we could try to reestablish the relationship again later.

Today if you’re facing a serious setback, if your world has been rocked by something extremely difficult and you feel lost, you can manage it. You are strong enough to face whatever comes to you and you will find your way. Hang onto your courage, hold on tight, and keep going forward. Nothing lasts forever. You just need to face this moment. Tomorrow things will be better. You are brave enough to manage whatever comes today. Trust yourself. You have everything you need to succeed.

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Knowing

8 Jan

As we go through all the many experiences in our lives, we sometimes come across situations that confuse us.  Maybe we aren’t sure exactly what’s going on, or something someone says doesn’t agree with what they’re doing.  Because most of the experiences we have involve other people, and they can do anything they like even if it doesn’t make sense, it’s sometimes hard to understand situations.  Some people may pretend that things are different than they really are and try to convince us that everything is one way when in fact it’s the complete opposite.  Some people may even lie to us, and manipulate us into believing things that aren’t true.  When we’re unsure because things aren’t making sense, when we can’t believe something is happening but all the evidence points in that direction, we can feel lost.  We don’t know which way to turn.  We don’t know what to do.

When we’re confused about a situation, it’s helpful to take a step back away from it and see it more objectively.  We can more easily discern truth if our emotions aren’t involved.  When we’re tangled up and enmeshed in a situation, we may be too close to see the whole story.  If we step back just a little our vision will clear, and we may see things we couldn’t before.  People are complicated and make all kinds of decisions – both good and bad.  Their reasons are their own, and if the reason is selfish, it can hurt others.  Sometimes they don’t care if they hurt others and will continue even after they see the pain they’re causing.  And sometimes the pain is just a byproduct of what they’re trying to do.  Either way, if we’re in their crosshairs and are getting hurt, we can find out why.  We can step back and see things clearly, and then we can make the best decision going forward.

There are times when what we think is happening can be an illusion created by a situation or those involved in it.  It’s possible to be manipulated into believing things are very different than they really are.  Perhaps someone wants something from us and knows we will never give it to them unless we believe it’s for someone else so they manufacture a situation that gives that impression.  Or maybe someone wants us to do something they know we won’t agree to and make the request appear to be something entirely different.  If these things happen we can get caught going down a path we never intended to travel.  There really is no limit to what others can do or say to us.  But we can figure out the truth if we step back when we feel something isn’t right.  We can trust our instincts to know what is real, and when we’re ready, we can uncover the truth.  We will know what to do.  We have everything we need to discern the right path, and then go forward.  We can correct our course at any time, and turn back to the right direction to find peace and happiness.

Today if you feel something isn’t quite right in a situation involving you, and if you’re unsure, step back a little and see it more objectively.  Pretend you’re not involved and see everything clearly.  You’ll find the truth and you’ll know what to do.  You are insightful and wise.  You have everything you need to go forward with confidence.

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Taking the Risk

7 Jan

In our lives, we all get the chance to try something new we want to do. It’s fun to try new things, but since they are unfamiliar to us there is some uncertainty and there may be some risk involved. Sometimes the risk is physical – if we want to try snowboarding or rock climbing it looks exciting but we may fall. And sometimes the risk has nothing to do with our bodies, and everything to do with our futures. If we want to change careers but we’re well established where we are now, letting our security go for something new, even if it’s something we really want, can rattle us. Should we do it or should we play it safe and stay where we are? Risk exposes us to possible loss. What that loss is depends on the situation. Of course, we can go through our lives avoiding new situations and staying on the same familiar road if we choose. But if we don’t try new things, if we don’t stretch out of our comfort zones, we’ll never know what we can do. We are all capable of greatness. But we can’t become great unless we push ourselves to do everything we can to get there.

There are more things to experience in this life than we’ll ever be able to accomplish. But the more things we expose ourselves to, the more unique situations we face, the deeper we become and our understanding of life broadens. If we keep our lives small, don’t venture far, stay away from things that are different than what we’re accustomed to and ask for nothing more, our sense of the world will be small as well. Imagine wearing the same color every single day. We know what color it is, and we know how it will look every time we put it on. The repetition of doing the same things can make us feel secure because we know what to expect. But if we put on a new color every single day, and try colors we never thought we could wear, we would see ourselves in many different ways. And that sense of newness and diversity would deepen our experiences. We might find that trying new colors makes us feel happy, something we would never have learned if we had remained in our old pattern.

The experience of taking a risk and trying something new is different for everyone. Some people thrive on the thrill of never knowing what’s coming next, and others prefer to plan escapades into new arenas. If we’re unsure, we could start small and decide to try something we’ve never done before but that will have little impact on us. We could explore new areas for work by volunteering in those arenas and trying them out instead of making a decision to change all at once. We don’t have to bungee jump over a 100 foot drop to take a risk. Just trying something new, something we want to do but have never attempted, will bring us great experience and often big rewards. There is something wonderful about being terrified of a new experience, doing it anyway, and surprising ourselves by succeeding. We can do anything we want to do. We will be enriched as we understand that no matter what comes we’ll be able to navigate it. This life was meant to be experienced. And we have everything we need to try anything we like.

Today if you’ve been thinking about trying something new but have been concerned about the risks involved, you can do it anyway. Plan for it, learn about it, and then take it on. There isn’t anything you can’t do. You are capable of stretching and learning anything you want. Enrich your life by stepping out and pushing yourself a little further. You can conquer any obstacle and on the other side your confidence will soar. Go for it. You can do anything.

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