Archive | June, 2015

Asking For It

20 Jun

A friend of mine goes to dinner every month with several other friends. They enjoy their time together, and have known each other for many years. Their lives are busy, and their monthly dinner is the time they all look forward to catching up with each other, and renewing their friendships.

At these dinners, it’s been customary to have all the orders placed on one check, and then the total divided up evenly between them at the end of the meal. My friend has been uncomfortable with this arrangement because several people order drinks that are very expensive, and a few always order the most costly entrée on the menu. Since her tastes are minimal, and she always orders a salad, it’s been hard for her to justify the enormous expense when the bill is divided up with lobster entrees, several glasses of wine, and cocktails. But she hadn’t said anything for fear of alienating her friends.

That all changed when she joined them this last week. When they were ordering their meals at last week’s gathering, she asked the waiter to please put her order on a separate check. She was nervous about what reaction she would get but as soon as she said it, a few others in the group also asked for separate checks. She was surprised by that, but happy she had chosen what was best for her. The dinner went smoothly, and at the end the checks were given to everyone who asked for one. Nobody seemed concerned about the change in the pattern, and everything was fine. My friend wished she had said something earlier because she could have taken care of this before it became a burden for her. If she had asked for the change when it first began to bother her, she would have been more comfortable.

It is sometimes the case in our lives when something is bothering us that we don’t speak up. There are a lot of reasons why we might stay quiet, but if it’s bothering us, it’s definitely worth talking about. We can direct our lives any way we want to, and in most circumstances, we don’t have to do things the way others expect us to. We can ask for, and get a different scenario. But we won’t get anything we want unless we ask for it. All we have to do is ask. It’s a simple thing, and we are capable of it at any time. We just have to decide when it’s important to us.

Today if you’re going along with something you don’t appreciate, you may ask for a change. You may ask for what you want. You don’t have to say you’re unhappy, you don’t have to say the situation is wrong, you can just ask for what you want. If you do that, odds are better that you’ll get it. If you don’t ask, nothing will change, so you’ve got nothing to lose. Ask for what you want. You are entitled to do things your way. Today, define what that is, and ask for it. You’ll be much happier being in control of your decisions. After all, the choice is yours. Make it the one you want.

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Your Best

19 Jun

Most of us try to do things well, to be kind, and live a good life. It isn’t always easy to make good choices but if we are wise, we try to make decisions fairly, and hope they are right. Choosing well brings us happiness. We know this but sometimes we may tire of trying, and decide it isn’t worth the effort. We may decide to let others choose, and just go along. We may take the easier road.

If we want to, we can live mediocre lives. We can give a little, take a little, help when it’s convenient, and serve when we must. We can skate by, and do just enough to look good. Mediocrity is easy. It takes very little effort to achieve. We can keep a low profile when help is needed so we won’t have to say no, and we won’t have to offer either. We can be average in our endeavors, and be nice enough to be accepted without having to excel. We can be lazy, and indifferent.

But mediocrity is selling out. When we don’t do our best, when we don’t try our hardest, we are just selling out. We will never know what we are capable of if we don’t push the envelope. We will never know what we could achieve. There is greatness in all of us – some realized, some dormant, but it’s there. We can’t know where our greatness lies if we don’t push ourselves to find it. We each have a gift to offer the world – something that is unique to us, that nobody else can give. If we recognize that, search for it, seek it out, and then offer it, the world will be magnified because of it. If we try, really try to be our best, and do our best, we will find it. And sharing it with others is the greatest we can offer.

Today if you’ve been keeping a low profile, doing just enough to get by, think again. There is something wonderful, and special about you. Find it. Uncover what it is, and determine to share it with others. You are here for a purpose. You have something to give. Find your best self. Open your eyes to it, open your heart to it, and offer it to the world. We all need each other. Give your best. The world will be brighter for it.

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Just Today

18 Jun

From time to time we all worry about things. Perhaps there’s been something on your mind, and it just won’t leave you alone. You can’t help it. You think about it constantly. You worry about what’s coming. You worry about what will happen tomorrow. We all have concerns sometimes, and they can make us worry – sometimes for good reason, sometimes unnecessarily. Whether the reason is good or not, worrying about what might happen doesn’t change anything. All it does is take us out of the present. We can’t fully live the day we’re in if we’re worrying about a day to come.

Each day we have on earth is a blessing. We take them for granted, and sometimes just go through the motions, but each day is a blessing. We often realize what an enormous blessing they are when they are suddenly threatened. Something happens where we understand we might not have tomorrow. We may get sick, a friend may die, or there may be a disaster that wakes us up, and makes us realize how lucky we are to have today. Today is the only day we can live. We can’t live tomorrow yet – it hasn’t arrived. Yesterday is gone, and nothing can be done to take us back to it. So we have just this one day. And if we spend it worrying about what tomorrow will bring, we will have wasted it.

We are powerful, and capable beings. We can do a lot when we want to. But most of us cannot read the future. We don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow or even five minutes from now. We are living now – not later. What will come to us after this is out of our control. So how can we manage something that is worrisome? A good way to let the worry go is to do something about what’s going on in our lives today. There is something we can take care of today, there is something we can work on today, and there is something we can manage today. While we’re working on today, we won’t have time to worry about tomorrow. We are managing our lives as they roll forward. Tomorrow will get here when it gets here. What comes will come. And whatever it is, we will face it then.

If you’re worried, and having trouble letting it go, do something that is important today. Work hard. Get busy living today. You’ll get things done, your mind will be focused on something productive, and you will forget to worry. Tomorrow you will handle whatever comes. You are perfectly capable of handling it – tomorrow. Today is all that concerns you now. One day at a time is all we have. Live your life that way. Live today. It’s a great day to be alive.

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What do you see?

17 Jun

People who witness crimes, and are interviewed by police often have very different stories about what happened. Their descriptions of the perpetrator tend to vary widely – some say he had brown hair, some say he was wearing a hat, some say he was tall, and others say he was average height. There is always a lot of discrepancy between those seeing the same event. The event only went one way. Why are there so many different stories? We all have our own slant on things, our own spectrum through which we see things. Perhaps the angle is slightly different, or the light is a little brighter in different places. Sometimes we think we see things that aren’t even there. There is a lot going on in our heads, and during times of excitement, that can alter what we perceive.

I read a funny article about some ridiculous answers students gave for test questions. One really caught my eye. The question was posed as a statement, “Define hard water.” The student’s answer was “ice.” I laughed because although this was not the answer the teacher was looking for, it was accurate. Ice is, in essence, hard water. The student’s understanding of what was being asked was skewed by their perception of the question. Our lives are that way. We understand things depending on where we are, and what we’re doing.

Sometimes we misunderstand messages that others give us because our perception isn’t in the same place as theirs. A simple gesture can be misconstrued to be something entirely different than it was intended to mean. A word can be said and taken out of context, and misunderstandings happen. We are complicated beings. Our lives are busy, and our minds are actively processing a lot of information all the time. It’s easy to miss a cue, and misinterpret something. It’s important to recognize that, and get the clarification we need before we make judgments.

Today if you think someone has said or done something that has offended you, clarify the situation before you accept it. You may have misunderstood. Ask questions, and find out if what you think happened is accurate. Sometimes the sun is in our eyes, or there is something blocking our view. Clarification will correct the situation. Don’t make assumptions. Get answers. Understanding what is really happening is important. Understanding is the key. Use that key to unlock the truth.

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Defining Us

16 Jun

Have you ever faced a challenge you didn’t think you could conquer? Something beyond what you felt you could manage? Have you ever felt overwhelmed at a problem you had to face? These times happen to all of us. Very difficult hurdles come that at first may shake us. We may have no idea how we’re going to overcome them, or even how we’re going to face them. When these things happen, they are usually critical, and demand our attention. Even if we’re unsure, even if we’re scared, we have to look at the huge hill before us, and just start climbing.

What defines us as people? Is it what we own? Is it what we’ve done? Is it how much money we make, or how many friends we have? What makes us who we are? When we think about our strengths, and our weaknesses, we can see that every facet of our personalities has been molded, and shaped by the experiences we’ve had. Our experiences are vast as we live our lives. Every day brings something new. And each challenge we face makes us a little stronger, a little braver, and a little truer. What defines us is how we face them.

When very difficult issues come into our lives, when we are facing the dragon, and there is fire all around us, we will come face to face with our fears. What if we can’t do this? What if we fail? What if this destroys us? There are a lot of things that can go wrong when we have a lot to surmount. But if we stand strong, and take it as it comes, face each moment and conquer them one at a time, we can overcome even the hardest of challenges. As we navigate the problem, as we deal with each complication, as we unravel each puzzle, we learn new skills, and we become stronger. Because of that strength, when the next hurdle arrives, we are ready to begin again. There is nothing we can’t handle. There is nothing we can’t face. We are powerful, and we are capable. If we remember that, we will not only survive, we will thrive.

Today if you are facing something very hard, something that is threatening, and you are afraid you cannot conquer it, remember who you are. You can do anything. Be fearless. You may not get every step right, but you will eventually reach the end, and you will overcome. You have more strength than you realize. You have the very best of everything inside you. You have everything you need. Don’t forget that. You will beat this. It’s just a hill after all, and you’ve been climbing those your entire life.

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