Archive | May, 2015

Kaleidoscope

26 May

I took a walk outside today, and as I walked I noticed all the many different green leaves on the trees. There were dark green ones, light green ones, some that looked bright, some that were dull, and the new ones were almost fluorescent. It really is amazing the number of greens there are in nature. There isn’t just one generic green – there are dozens and dozens of shades and hues. And incredibly, they all seem to match.

As I walked along I also noticed many flowers in all their glory. There were roses in several different shades of pinks, reds, yellows and whites, pansies in purple and gold, petunias in every color imaginable, and delightful tiny blue phlox. There were more colors, and more flowers, than I can possibly name, and I was just walking through the neighborhood.

As I ran around completing my errands later, I looked up at the sky. We have a storm rolling in so there was a bright blue background with enormous fluffy white clouds, backed up against a menacing gray that crept closer and closer. And not just one dark gray, but many different shades. I marveled at the range of colors in the sky, and I thought of how many times I hadn’t looked up and noticed. And I realized what a blessing color is our lives.

We take a lot for granted here on planet earth. Every single morning, without fail, the sun rises in the east. If you’re lucky enough to watch it, you may see a dazzling kaleidoscope of colors. Reds, yellows, and oranges bursting forth on a background of pristine blue. And every single evening, without fail, the sun goes down, and again puts on a glorious show filled with incredible colors. This happens all the time. And each time it’s amazing.

And then there is the miracle of the prism that brings us those delightful rainbows we all love to see. I saw a double rainbow last month. I couldn’t take my eyes off it. It was beautiful. Completely beautiful. The arches were perfectly matched. The colors were intense and gorgeous, and I was spellbound. Such an amazing sight resting there above us, quietly waiting to be seen.

Color – something we see every day, and take for granted. But color is a miraculous blessing to us all. Think about it – what if everything was just differing levels of gray. The world would look completely different, and it would be much less joyful to be outside. But it isn’t gray. It’s filled with glorious, perfect, beautiful, amazing colors. So many colors, it’s impossible to name them all. So many shades, so many hues, so many wonderful differences. It’s amazing.

Today as you go about your life, look around. Look at the miracles around you. Marvel at the glorious colors provided for you here on earth. Take it all in. It blesses our lives in many ways. Do you have a favorite color? Today, while you’re running around, see if you can find it. I bet you will!

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Take Heart

25 May

It’s a wonderful thing to fall in love with someone. We become aware of another person in ways we may never have dreamed possible. We think about them constantly, wonder what they’re doing when they’re not with us, hope to see them soon, and start to make plans. Our heart jumps when we hear their voice, and when they smile at us, the whole world seems to stop. We are consumed with thoughts of them. We can’t imagine being without them. We adore them, they delight us, and make us so happy. We’ve never been so happy.

But sometimes, something goes wrong. They turn, and decide they want to go another way – without us. They leave, and we are left broken, and bereft. We are devastated, stunned, sad, in disbelief. We feel hopeless. How can we go on? We love them so much. We need them. How is it possible they don’t feel the same about us? It’s horrible. We feel horrible, and for a time we don’t believe we’ll ever be right again.

I have a close friend who went through this some time ago. The woman he loved was everything to him. He talked about her constantly, and told me of his plans for the future with her. He loved her deeply, and couldn’t imagine ever being without her. But she decided she wanted something different, and she left. He was devastated. I sat with him as he cried. He said he didn’t think he could survive without her. He just didn’t see an end to the pain.

When we are in times of great despair it seems as though they are permanent. We think nothing will ever change, and we’ll never be happy again. But the only thing permanent is death. Everything else changes. It’s the nature of life. Even if it feels like the end for us, it’s just a passage. As I sat with my grieving friend, and listened to his sobs, I reminded him of this. Although he felt completely ruined, he was just going through a difficult passage. It wasn’t the end of the road. It was a change. A very painful, gripping, sad change, but still just a change. I told him he would navigate it, and he would survive. At the time he didn’t believe me, but time has gone by, and he has survived, and moved on. He is happy again.

When we are brokenhearted – truly brokenhearted, it can feel like our lives are over. It can be hard to breathe, much less see a future where happiness will ever be a part of our lives again. When we feel so horrible, we may be surprised that life goes on, the sun still comes up, and time still goes by. How can the world continue it’s relentless march when we are frozen in pain? It’s hard to see around the corner. It’s hard to face the days. Everything is hard. But it’s not permanent. The pain will ease. Things will get better. Happiness will return.

Today, if you are brokenhearted try to remember that. This isn’t the end for you. This is just a passage. You will get through it. You will survive, and you will be happy again. Take it moment by moment, and hold on. You will get stronger.  You’re still here. The road is still before you. There is hope, and happiness ahead. Have faith. All is not lost. All is not lost.

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Not Happening

24 May

There are times in everyone’s life when we want something very much. If it’s something we feel would be good for us, something that would make us happy, something that would make our lives better, we hope for it. We yearn for it, think about it, wait for it, and pray for it. But sometimes the thing we really want doesn’t come. No matter what we do, it’s just not in the cards for us. We try changing the plan, and that doesn’t work. We try changing our focus, and that doesn’t work. No matter what we do, we can’t get to where we want to be.

It’s very hard to accept not being able to have something we want very much. If it’s something we believed we would achieve, it’s very hard to let it go. But this life is full of twists and turns, and sometimes the road doesn’t take us where we thought we were headed. Sometimes the destination isn’t what we planned on.

How can we accept no for an answer? How can we let go of something we want so badly? How do we handle the disappointment? If we’ve done all we could do, and still the plan didn’t work, what do we do now? How do we go forward?

If you hold a baseball in your hand, all five fingers encircling it, you have it securely. You won’t drop it. If you lift one finger, you can still hold it. The same is true if you lift two fingers, even three – you can still hold onto the ball with the remaining two. But once you lift the fourth finger, the ball will teeter and fall. Having a dream we really want is like holding onto the baseball. When we’re trying to adjust to a big change, a big disappointment, it’s like letting the ball fall. It’s not easy to just let the hope go, we’ve held it for too long. But if we lift one finger at a time, just ease into the release, we can let go of the yearning, and the disappointment. One step at at time, we can go on.

We all have things we want in our lives – good things, things we feel we deserve, things that would be beneficial for us. But sometimes the answer is no. Sometimes the timing is wrong. Sometimes what we think is best for us isn’t where life takes us. It’s hard to let go of the desire for something we’ve wanted so badly. We have to accept the disappointment gradually – let the dream go, one finger at a time.

Today if you realize that something you’ve wanted for so long isn’t going to happen, if you are stung with the understanding that it’s just not going to work, it’s okay. It just means the path is a little different than you thought it would be. Good things will still come to you – they’ll just be a a little different than you thought they would be. Life is all about adapting, accepting change, and learning to adjust. Start again. This is just a step. The road is long. There will be more dreams, and many of them will come true.

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The Simple Life

23 May

There is a lot to be said for a simple life. A life lived without complications, without drama, without intrigue – a simple, straightforward existence. Of course, we can only control some of the complications, drama, and intrigue that come into our lives. We live in a world with other people – friends, family, acquaintances, clients – and they all come in and out of our lives on a regular basis. There are all kinds of people, all over the place. They complicate and compliment our lives. And their choices can affect our lives.

Since we can’t control what anyone else does, and we can’t always control circumstances, it’s in our best interest to control what we can. We have a choice each day as to how we will navigate what comes to us. We can face our challenges with a calm demeanor, or we can over react, get intense, and have a more difficult time. It isn’t always easy to be calm, it isn’t always easy to control our emotions, but if we work at it, we can find a place where we feel more comfortable in times of stress.

I have a friend who loves drama. Everything that happens to her is a big deal. Every disappointment is the end of the world. Every situation she gets involved in is filled with drama. She seems to need the stress, and conflict in her life. If she gets involved in a situation where there isn’t any intensity, she creates it. She feeds on the struggle, the intrigue of guessing, and the anxiety of potential disaster. She is rarely even tempered, rarely truthful about what is really going on, and makes up stories to spice up every situation. It’s exhausting to be near her. It’s challenging to work with her. And it’s nearly impossible to trust her.

It’s much more advisable to see, and accept things as they really are. Not hiding when it’s difficult, not pretending the situation is different, not making up stories about what is real – just facing reality as it exists. This is always the best course. It sounds simple, but sometimes our reality is not what where we want to be. Sometimes it’s easier to pretend that it’s different than it really is. But if we want to live an honest, noble life, we have to live it cleanly. Without illusion, without drama, and without exaggeration. We have to live it as it really is.

Today, if you feel the need to pad a situation to make it more palatable, or to cover up what is really happening, think again. No matter what the issue is, facing it openly, scars and all, is the best option. Making up false pretense complicates our lives, and makes it more difficult in the end. What is real is all we need to face. Face that. Keep your eyes wide open. Facing true reality brings us confidence. And with confidence there is no need to dress anything up. It is what it is. And that’s just fine. You can manage that.

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Learning to Forget

22 May

Many years ago, I had an elderly friend that was always cheerful, and happy. I was fortunate to be able to spend time with her, and talk with her about her life. Once we discussed a difficult time when her husband made some choices that hurt her deeply. I asked her how she coped, and she said, “I distinctly remember forgetting about that,” and she laughed. She said she had forgiven him for his decisions, had forgotten about them, and moved on.

We hear the saying, “Forgive and forget,” frequently. For many of us forgiving someone who has hurt us is possible, but the forgetting can be another story. It’s hard to let go of something that has really caused us pain, and truly forget about it. We learn from it as we go forward, and sometimes we want to hang on to it. We’re not really sure that forgetting is in our best interest. After all, if we forget what they’ve done to us, they might do it again.

Is it possible to truly forgive someone without forgetting what they’ve done? Shouldn’t we remember what happened so we are wiser the next time around? What does it actually mean to forget? Is it possible to completely un-remember something? According to the dictionary, to forget can mean to “disregard intentionally” or to “overlook.” Using those suggestions, we don’t have to pretend what hurt us never happened, but can choose not to focus on it anymore going forward. We can disregard it. We can let it go. We can overlook it. Perhaps this is the most effective use of forgetting when we are trying to forgive.

I am sure my friend from long ago well remembered what her husband had done when he hurt her. But she chose to let it go. She decided not to focus on it, or bring it up again. She moved on. If we can do that when someone offends us, forgive them the affront, and then let it go, we can still learn from the experience. We don’t have to completely wipe it from our minds, but we can move on, and not obsess over it. In that way we will be successful in forgiving, and forgetting.

Today if someone offends you, hurts you, or makes you feel bad, you may choose to forgive them. If you do, forget what happened by letting it go. Look at it, learn from it, determine how you’ll manage it, and move on. Keep moving forward.

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