Tag Archives: Trust

Refusing to Go

22 Jun

We all face times when questions of ethics and honesty come into play. Some situations are so obvious we easily decide which way is right and continue forward without much notice. However, there may be times when it’s a bit harder to choose. Our conscience will guide us if we’ve been cultivating honest and honorable decisions and have chosen to do what’s right in the past. But if we’re easily swayed by the promises of others or what we may gain in the short term, we may choose paths that are less noble. When we purposely make a bad decision the first time we may feel pangs of guilt and regret. But if we return and make another bad decision, and then another, over time we may become inured to the situation. After a while guilt and remorse may not even appear and our conscience may become numb. Our lives reflect every choice we make and bad choices rarely bring lasting happiness. We may find immediate gratification from them but they cannot bring us peace in the long run. We deserve to be happy and if we find we’re going the wrong way – no matter how long we’ve been on the road – we can stop and refuse to go any further. It is never too late to correct our direction and make better choices. The road ahead is ours to choose. We can choose what is best instead of what is easy, what is right instead of what is convenient, and what will bring us happiness. We can trust ourselves going forward and cultivate a strong and valiant conscience.

The world is filled with compromises. We can’t always have things exactly the way we want them and we learn to give as we move forward. Compromise is an important skill but it rarely works to compromise our ethics or values. There really is nothing worth the price of our honesty. We may be convinced that if we bend a little in the wrong direction just this once it will move us forward and we won’t have to do it again. We may tell ourselves we must be dishonest in order to get something we need but there is no way to justify dishonesty no matter what is at stake. Our integrity is our most valuable possession. If we abuse it we will lose the trust and respect of those around us, and in time, will lose it for ourselves.

A strong and noble conscience is a priceless asset that will guide us through many complicated and difficult choices. If we always choose the right in every situation we will gain the strength we need to make difficult decisions wisely. When we choose integrity and wisdom over ease and complacency we find happiness. Refusing to take the wrong road will bring us continued happiness and peace. It’s not always easy to choose wisely and we may be sorely tested but we have everything we need to prevail.

Today if you’re facing a hard choice and there are immediate benefits to choosing poorly, stop and look at the long road ahead. Your choices define who you are. Choose nobility and refuse to go down the path of dishonesty. You have everything you need to be happy. Make your decisions carefully. Be wise. There is so much joy and peace waiting for you. Good decisions will bring them to you.

 

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Baggage

2 Jan

As we navigate through our lives our experiences leave impressions on us. Sometimes they are scars from events that have hurt us, sometimes they are precious memories from times when things were wonderful, and sometimes they are just an accumulation of things we learn. Everything we experience changes us in some way, but when we have bad experiences, they may leave lasting marks that we carry with us. If the scars are painful and heavy, they can impact our lives going forward. Like baggage we can’t abandon, we pull it along with us. It might be small like an overnight bag or we may have a dozen over-sized steamer trunks we drag along. Whatever it is, it takes effort to carry it and can make it hard for us to experience joy or see the possibilities of happiness in front of us. It takes work to carry heavy baggage, it’s strenuous, and it takes concentration. We have to watch where we’re going more carefully, and navigate complicated turns with precision. It’s hard to be spontaneous, or trust that we’ll get through. When we’re carrying a lot behind us our lives are harder and we feel the weight every day.

Nobody has a perfect life. Nobody gets through without some disappointment or pain, sadness or grief. We all suffer and have bad experiences along with the good ones. It’s how we handle them that affects our lives going forward. If we’re suffering and have been hurt, we can hold onto the pain for the rest of our lives. We can carry distrust, bitterness, wariness, anger, and suspicion with us. We can keep ourselves separate from those around us and hold on to our baggage, checking it, making sure it’s still there, and keeping it close. Deep betrayal, loss of faith, intense disappointment, and pain are difficult to go through. They change us and if we let them, can paralyze our lives. We can give our control over to them, lock our security safely away, and allow them to make every personal decision we have. But we don’t have to do that.

We have the power to face whatever comes to us. Bad experiences can be conquered. Even the one thing we think we could never overcome is possible to move past. Our ability to move forward in our lives is only hampered by our own decisions. We can carry our baggage with us for as long as we want to. But when we’re ready to be happy again, we can set it down and walk away. We don’t need it to make any decisions going forward, and we can be happy if we let it go. Leaving it behind does not diminish the pain we suffered when we had it. But if we really want to be happy again, we have to let it go and walk away. We have the power to control our lives. We can’t change what’s already happened, but we can change how much we let the past determine our future. We deserve to be happy. We deserve to be free of pain. We deserve everything we are hoping for. We can do anything we want and we don’t need any previous baggage holding us back. We can leave it behind and move on.

Today if you’ve been letting something from your past determine how you’re living your life, if you’re holding onto pain or disappointment, you can let it go. You can set it down and walk away, leaving it behind as you move forward. You don’t have to carry anything with you. You have all you need to be happy and successful. Let go. You deserve only the best. You have everything you need to be happy. Embrace that.

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Wolves

9 Dec

As we go through our lives, we meet lots of people.  Some become friends, some just acquaintances, and some we meet once and never see again.  We see people in passing, and interact with them in lots of different situations.  Most of us think we are good judges of character but sometimes it’s not easy to know what people really are.  There is the old saying of a “wolf in sheep’s clothing,” meaning sometimes someone looks one way, when in actuality they are completely different.  We meet people like that from time to time.  There is always a reason they are hiding behind what we see, and often those reasons are destructive.  It’s hard to see behind a disguise.  Sheep seem so friendly and docile that even if a little dark fur is sticking out under the white curls we might not notice it until the damage has been done.

It’s good to be trusting of others.  It opens doors for us and helps us feel comfortable in our interactions.  But when we have a trusting nature, we can also be manipulated by those whose intentions are not noble.  We might befriend someone we think we can trust, only to discover they aren’t trustworthy at all.  If that happens, we may blame ourselves for falling for a lie, but it’s not our fault when someone else makes bad decisions.  We aren’t fools because we trusted them.  Until we know that someone is wearing a disguise it’s appropriate to give them the benefit of the doubt.  When that is abused, and we discover we’ve been duped, we may be hurt, but we’ll learn more and can make wiser decisions going forward.

If we get tangled up with a wolf and get hurt, we may decide not to trust anyone anymore.  But that never works.  Most people are honest and deserve our trust and respect.  If we judge everyone based on the few who choose badly, we only end up hurting ourselves.  We can’t live in a vacuum, and we need others in our lives.  No matter what’s happened, we’ll find a way to recover, and use the information we’ve learned going forward.  We can be brave enough to allow others to get close to us despite the experience.  We are in control and we can make excellent decisions and judgments.  There are a lot of genuine sheep in our lives.  There are people who care about us and want what’s best for us.  We can’t disregard our good relationships with them because there are a few wolves waiting in the wings.

Today if you’ve discovered you’ve been manipulated or in some way treated dishonestly, and you’re hurt, learn from what you’ve experienced.  You know more now than you did, and you can go forward with confidence.  You can still trust those around you, and allow them to get close to you.  There are a lot of good sheep in your world.  Don’t let one wolf turn you against those who love and care for you.

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One Star

12 Nov

When we’re looking for direction or trying to find our way through something in our lives, there are a lot of options available to us. There are countless roads we could choose and limitless paths we could follow. When we really want to make the best decision, and we’re struggling to find our way, all those choices can be overwhelming. Sometimes we just want someone to tell us how to do it, and which way to go. But the decision must be ours and although we may get a lot of advice, we need to choose the direction ourselves. There are billions of stars in the sky. They are all beautiful and each is perfect in its own way. When we’re looking for an answer, it’s like identifying the one single star that will guide us. We need to find what fits and what will take us exactly where we want to go. It takes a little time to figure it out, but once we’ve identified it, is easier to move forward.

Making decisions when the stakes are high can be complicated. We can get lost worrying about outcomes and impact. We can get frozen in time and unable to move forward because we don’t really know what will happen. But we don’t have to get stuck. We can take the time needed to make the best choice, and then no matter what comes, we will handle it. There is no way to know where every road will take us. We can try hard to see the future based on our experiences from the past, and that will help. But with all the variables we face every day, nothing is certain. So, taking some time and evaluating the best plan forward is all we can do. Once we’ve determined that, we can boldly proceed, confident that we chose wisely, and let things play out accordingly.

If we are lost and completely unsure, we can get help. We can ask those we trust, we can talk to someone who has faced a similar situation, we can get professional advice or whatever else will aid us in determining our way forward. Most people are willing to help when asked, and there is a lot of experience we may draw from. If the situation is personal, and we don’t want to talk about it with others, we must rely on personal experience and careful thought. We are capable of making excellent decisions. There is one star out there, shining down on us, with all the wisdom and inspiration we need to go forward. Sometimes we just need to look up, and listen to find the answer.

Today if you’re pondering a heavy decision and aren’t sure which way to go, take some time to listen to your heart, and consider all your options. You’ll figure this out. You will make an excellent decision. You are far wiser and more capable than you think you are. You know where you want to go, and you will choose the best road to take you there.

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The Trust Conundrum

23 Jun

One of the most painful things we can experience is betrayal. A friend turns against us, a co-worker steals our idea, a lover cheats, a family member lies to us, and the list goes on. There are unlimited ways to be betrayed, and each one is extraordinarily painful. It knocks the wind out of us. Our first response is often disbelief. We can’t believe someone we trusted could do this to us. But we can’t control what others do, and sometimes because of their choices, we may face this very difficult experience. It’s horrible whenever it happens, and it certainly changes the dynamic of the relationship involved.

Being betrayed by someone we’ve trusted can feel devastating. We may second guess ourselves. We may ask, “How could we have trusted them?” or, “How did we not see this coming?” A thousand doubts may fill our minds. But we need to remember that betrayal belongs to those who betray – not to those who trust. It is noble to trust others. It builds relationships, and bridges to those around us when we allow ourselves to trust them. If that trust is broken, it will hurt us, but we are not wrong because we trusted them. The one who betrays us is wrong for breaking that trust.

When this happens to us, we may decide not to trust anybody. Nobody. We may decide not to believe what other people say, and not to rely on anyone. We may become suspicious of everyone, and everything. But trust is the basis for friendship, and every other relationship we have. It’s counter productive to decide to never trust others. If we want interpersonal relationships with anyone, we need to trust them. We need to believe them, and that means we have to be willing to take the risk that they will betray us. Without relationships we miss an important part of being human. So we need to trust, despite the possibility that we will be hurt. Not everyone will betray us, and it’s generally worth the risk. We need to be brave enough to do it.

Today if you feel betrayed by someone you’ve trusted, it will hurt, but try to remember that your trust did not cause this. Sometimes those we’ve entrusted make decisions that hurt us. It’s not a reflection on you. If you’re suffering through a betrayal, remember that. This won’t last forever. You were noble to trust them, and you will move forward. Keep your standards, and do your best. You know more about the person who hurt you now. You’ll be more careful with them going forward. Keep going forward. Walk right on through this. You’ll be wiser because of this, and wisdom is a wonderful attribute.

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