Tag Archives: Strong

Take It Back

15 Aug

There are times when we may find ourselves in relationships where we’ve lost control over our lives. We didn’t set out to find a relationship that would control us, but one thing leads to another, and suddenly we realize we’ve lost something. We’ve allowed a situation to build on itself to the point that someone else is determining our decisions, and how we live. Often these relationships are painful, and we are hurt. Sometimes because the changes have been subtle and insidious, we don’t realize how hurt we’ve been. But we know we aren’t happy, and something needs to change.

It’s good to believe in others, and put our trust in them unless they show us they are not worthy of that trust. When we are kind and trusting, we can sometimes bend too far and allow someone else to gain too much control. Sometimes it starts by just going along with something we don’t agree with because we love the other person and we want them to be happy. That may change into arguments as we try to be heard, and if the arguments continue over time, we may grow weary, and decide to give in to keep the peace. When that happens, we trade our control for calm. We hand it over to prevent disagreements.

Unhappiness can sneak up on us. If it’s been a gradual decline, and we’ve been unsettled for a while, we may not realize how far we’ve gone. Then something happens that wakes us up. Perhaps a trusted friend reminds us of how happy we used to be. Perhaps we decide enough is enough. Even if we truly value the relationship that’s hurting us, even if we still believe in the promise that things will improve, we will, eventually, have to make a choice. We deserve to be happy. When we are ready, and decide we want more, we will take our lives back. It probably won’t be easy. It may hurt to turn the ship, but we can do it. We are strong, and once we remember who we are, and how strong we are, we will succeed.

Today if you’ve decided to stop hurting, and you are ready to be happy, take your life back. Take it back. You have everything you need to succeed. Don’t listen if someone says you can’t do this. You can. You deserve to be happy. Today turn the ship. You are stronger than you realize. You are worth more than you can imagine. The best of everything is waiting for you.

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Look Up

18 Jul

When things are going wrong, when plans don’t work out, when we’re troubled, overwhelmed and downtrodden, it’s hard to look ahead. We have to process the disappointment, and figure things out. Sometimes the pain of where we are can be paralyzing, and we have to stop for a time before we can move again. It hurts when things go wrong. And when we’re hurting, it can be hard to think of anything but just getting through it.

Disappointment and trouble are part of life. We all wish everything would go easily, every plan would work out well, every day would be filled with sunshine and roses, but that’s not life. That’s fantasy. An active fantasy life is one thing, and real life is quite another. There will be dark days, there will be sad moments, and sometimes there may be devastating developments. When we’re going through these times, it’s important to remember that nothing lasts forever. It can feel like forever, but things change every day. Whatever is driving us down today will be different tomorrow. It might not be perfect tomorrow, it might still be difficult, but it won’t last forever. Eventually everything changes.

When we’re unhappy our demeanor is off. We walk with our heads down, we may talk more quietly, or we may scream and rant. We may feel prickly inside, agitated, and wired, or we may feel numb, depressed, and sullen. Whatever the expression, it’s off from our normal personas. Our friends and family may offer suggestions which sometimes help, and sometimes don’t.  It’s not a good time. But it’s not forever. It’s just a moment. It will pass. Eventually we’ll feel whole again. Our dispositions will return to normal, and we will find happiness once more.

Today if things aren’t going well, or something disappointing has happened, if you feel bad and you’re not yourself, it’s okay. Feeling bad is a normal response when things go wrong. If you’re walking with your head down, and feel heavy with the challenge, look up. Lift your head, and square your shoulders. This will not overcome you. You will navigate it and you will conquer it, whatever “it” is. You are strong, you are capable, and you will walk right through this to the other side. Keep looking up, and keep walking. This is just a moment. You’ve already come so far. The other side is just around the corner.

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Split Second

24 Jun

Some years ago during the summer, I was in Alaska, and had gone on a fishing charter in Cook Inlet. Although it was summer, it was cold, and I was dressed in jeans, sweatshirt, coat, and boots. As we were securing the boat to the pier at the end of the trip, it drifted outward, and I reached over the water to grab the line to pull it back. Unfortunately, I lost my balance, and fell into the harbor. The water there in the summer is very cold, and being dressed as I was, I sank like a stone. I immediately began trying to swim, but with everything I was wearing, it was very difficult. As I continued to fall downward I looked up at the surface of the water, and realized that because of how I was dressed, and the temperature of the water, I might lose my life. I remember feeling great regret that I had reached out so far, and risked so much. It was a foolish decision given the weather, and the situation. Thankfully, I was able to get back to the surface, and someone pulled me out. I was severely chilled, and had to get my wet clothes off as soon as possible to prevent hypothermia. It took lots of dry, warm clothes, several cups of hot chocolate, and the rest of the day before the shivering stopped. I was lucky things worked out, but I have never forgotten the lesson. One small decision, and in a split second, everything changed.

Our lives are tentative, and this life is unpredictable. There are no guarantees. We tend to forget this from time to time. We take for granted that we will survive today, and see tomorrow, but nothing is sure. Of course, we can’t worry about all the things that could go wrong or we’d never be able to live normally, so we go through our days counting on them being safe, and successful. But sometimes, things turn, and in an instant, everything changes. We can’t predict anything. What comes, comes. We go through our lives, we have our routines, and activities, and then the unexpected happens. Things get turned upside down, and for a while we lose our footing.

Sometimes unforeseen things happen because of decisions we make, like mine when I fell into the ice cold harbor. Sometimes they happen because of decisions out of our control. Much of what we experience in this life is out of our control, and when things come that topple us, wake us up, and make us realize again that nothing is guaranteed, it can shake us deeply. Our task then is to be as ready as we can, and do our best when things go awry.

Today if you’ve been rattled by something that has unsettled your life, something that has suddenly shaken you, you may be upset but you will get through it. If it’s extraordinarily difficult, reach out for help. Get the support you need to navigate the situation so you can feel as comfortable as possible. Get into your dry clothes, and stay warm. This will last for just a moment, and then things will settle again. You are resilient enough to weather this. Being upside down is uncomfortable, there is no doubt about that. But while you’re struggling to right yourself, you will find the strength you need. You are strong enough for this. You are strong enough for anything.

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