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Hatred

23 Oct

As we go through our lives, there may be times when we feel strong, negative emotions toward someone else.  We may determine that those emotions are intense enough to be labeled hatred.  We decide we hate them.  We despise their very existence, and we wish they would disappear.  It takes a lot of emotion and a lot of energy to carry hatred, and we can carry it for as long as we like.  Hatred has caused a lot of problems and turmoil in the world, but it has never helped any situation or resolved any issues.  It is a negative emotion that can hold us back, and freeze us in place.  It’s hard to move forward when we’re consumed with hatred, and despite all the energy we give it, returns nothing back to us.  It pulls on our strength, controls our thoughts, and may negatively determine our actions.  If we let it consume us, it can destroy our lives.

When we determine to hate someone else, we may lose our direction.  Hatred is so powerful and caustic, if we embrace it, it can hold us in place.  In order to move forward in our lives, we need to focus on our goals and where we want to be.  If we are consumed with the presence of someone else it’s difficult to see the road we need to be on.  Hatred may become an obsession.  It may continually pre-occupy us and constantly intrude on our thoughts.  While we are embracing it, it’s very hard to think of little else.  If we are consumed in our hatred, the result may be that the very person we hate, because of the intensity of our focus on them, controls our lives.  If we let the hatred become our driving force it will take over.  We cannot move forward, we cannot improve, and we cannot evolve any further as long as we are held in its grip.

When we are hurt or seriously disappointed by someone, it’s natural to feel bad.  If those feelings are intense it’s hard to let them go.  But letting them go restores our power.  We can acknowledge the slight, we can understand what happened, and we can accept our feelings.  And then, if we are dedicated to our personal growth, we need to let it go.  That doesn’t mean we have to trust the other person again, or even interact with them if we don’t have to.  It means we value our progression and personal happiness more than we value the negative experience.  We are in charge of our lives and we can direct them.  When we feel very strongly about a situation it may be hard to let it go, but letting it go lets us move forward.  And moving forward is what brings us satisfaction, accomplishment, and happiness.

Today if you feel like you absolutely hate someone, don’t let it have authority over you or your actions.  Be in control of your life by understanding what happened and why you feel this way, and then let it go.  Don’t get tied up and stuck because of something someone else has done.  Rise above it and be the best you can be.  You can be an excellent example of success.  Let the hatred go, and embrace your life.  You have so much to offer.  Go forward.

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Not Even

14 Oct

There are a lot of things to learn in this life, and more things to try.  It would be great if we succeeded at everything we attempted, but that will not be our experience.  Nobody can do everything well.  It’s impossible, but despite that, we all hope for success in everything we attempt.  If we didn’t think we could achieve the objective we wouldn’t try.  But success may be elusive in some arenas, and although we hate to face it, sometimes we will fail.  We’ll flame out, crash and burn, and fall flat.  And when that happens we may lose our confidence.  We failed.  We did our best and it wasn’t enough.  It hurts, but failure is just one event.  It isn’t a life choice, it isn’t our destiny, and it isn’t permanent.  When it happens, if we can remember that, we can move forward with more certainty.  Even though things didn’t go as planned this time, what we try next may be a resounding success.

Daring to try new things takes temerity and courage.  It’s easy to be safe and secure doing the same things every day.  It’s easy to take a back seat to life and let others drive.  We can skate through our days and not try anything new, or see how far we can go.  But a life like that is not as rewarding as one where we dare to try and see what we could do.  There is no way to know if we stay in our comfort zones and refuse to venture forward.  We are capable of far more than we generally realize.  We can climb Everest, we can sail around the world, we can go skydiving, we can become fluent in five languages, or we could become President of our local club.  We can do a lot.  We just have to try.

If we fail at something we really want, it’s heartbreaking.  There is no such thing as fate and we can live our lives any way we want to.  But some things we want to achieve will be out of reach.  When that happens it will hurt, and we will be disappointed.  We may become depressed but we can’t forget that failure is not a destination.  It’s just a passage.  And today’s failure may open doors to a success we haven’t yet dreamed of.   Everything we experience in this life, even failure, brings new opportunities.  Being open to them, seeing them, and deciding to walk through new doors is exciting.  There is so much we can do, and today is the best time to start again.  If we can forget the loss of the past, and let it go, we can look ahead and move forward.  Life is all about forward momentum.  We can’t let failure slow us down.  There is a lot yet to do.

Today if you’ve been stung by failure, remember it’s just a passage to something new.  Try again.  Be brave and open all the doors.  You have so much promise and there are exciting and fulfilling opportunities all around you.  See them and embrace them.  Failure is just a way of fine tuning your path.  You know more now.  Go forward with that knowledge and conquer your dreams.  You can do anything.  You are invincible.

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I Can’t Hear You

14 Aug

Have you ever known someone who constantly talks about how smart they are, but you’ve watched them make bad decisions over and over again?  Or someone who tells you how much they are going to do, but they don’t seem to accomplish anything? How about someone who talks about how kind and nice they are, but all you’ve seen is impatience and criticism from them? There is sometimes a disconnect between who we say we are, and what we do.  Sometimes they don’t match.  So which is it?  Are we the person we tell everyone we are, or are we the person whose life we’re actually leading? The truth is who we are isn’t what we say.  Who we are is what we do. We are living in the real world, and what we actually do tells the real story.

Sometimes people say they are one thing or another because it’s more flattering. Perhaps they want to be known as a generous person, so they tell people every time they do something that could be considered generous so they will be perceived as more giving than they really are. Perhaps they want to be considered patient and loving, so when others are listening, they adopt a patient and loving demeanor, even if it isn’t sincere. But people are smart. We’re very perceptive, and we can often spot a fake from twenty paces. The old saying that actions speak louder than words is true. It’s impossible to hear what someone is saying if their actions belie the claim.

When we first meet someone, we may be misled.  We hear what they tell us about themselves and at first, since we have no reason to doubt, we believe them. But sometimes as we get to know them, we realize they aren’t exactly the person they want us to think they are. If the disparity is egregious, we may determine they cannot be trusted. If it’s minor we may overlook it.  Either way, we need to pay attention. It’s important for us to know the truth about those around us so we know where we stand. It’s very painful to believe in someone, and then discover later that nothing we believed in was real. If we pay attention, we’ll figure out where the lines are, and what’s true. Gaining that knowledge will help us navigate the relationship more effectively as we move forward.

Today as you interact with those around you, pay attention. Listen to what is being said, and watch what is being done.  Learn about them, and understand who they really are. You’ll be more confident when you deal with them, and you’ll know how to handle your interactions with them more effectively.  Knowledge is power. Today, look around, pay attention, and gain the knowledge you need to go forward with confidence.

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Trade Off

12 Aug

Trading one thing for another is something we learn early in life.  Children often make trades at lunchtime, collector cards are traded to complete a set, toys are swapped, and even clothes are sometimes exchanged.  As we get older we realize that everything we do involves a trade of some sort.  We trade our time at work for money, we trade our money for things we purchase, and we trade our influence to get where we want to be.  Everything we do involves some sort of trade off.  They say there’s no such thing as a free lunch, and that’s true.  There is a price for everything, and we have to trade something to get it.  The trick is to be sure what we get when we make the trade is worth what we’re giving up.

Sometimes something we want has a price that’s too high for us.  If we want to study astronomy, we have to stay up all night to see the stars.  But if we’re early birds by nature, we may determine that’s too difficult for us.  Maybe we want to move up in our career but that would require moving away from our families, and we decide it’s not worth it.  Perhaps we dream of climbing Mount Everest but the physical demands are beyond what we can handle.  When we think of all the things we’d like to do, the cost of the trade off always come into play.  There will always be something we have to give up to achieve the goal, and only we can determine if the trade is manageable.

Some trades go well, and we are happy with the exchange.  When that happens we feel like we were treated fairly and made a good choice.  But sometimes, our trades go badly.  Maybe we purchase an expensive item that cannot be returned only to discover it wasn’t exactly what we thought it was.  Or we give up an evening to go out with friends, and upon arriving see that our contentious “ex” is there as well.  Because everything is a trade-off of some sort, the best we can do is to try to get as much information as possible before we make the exchange.  If we do that, we’re more likely to make trades we’re happy with.

Today if you’re planning to trade your time or energy for something you want, be sure the trade is in your best interest.  You are capable of seeing things clearly and making good decisions.  Ensure you are doing what you want most.  You’ll be giving something up for the goal you’re seeking.  Before you go forward, make sure the reward is worth the cost.

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Doing Well

29 Jul

As we go through our lives there are countless things to do.  We have responsibilities to our families, our jobs, ourselves, our homes, our cars, and the list is endless.  There is always something to do.  We have tasks, and chores, and details that seemingly never end.  We’re busy much of the time, and when there is a lot to do we may try to finish quickly by cutting corners.  We might try to do the minimum required to get the job done so we can move on.  Sometimes that works and we get by, but other times it ends up causing us more issues to fix later.  We can rush, and we can cut all the corners we want, but in the end if we haven’t done the best we could do, it may come back to bite us.

There is a saying, “Any job worth doing is worth doing well.”  There is great truth in that.  If we apply ourselves to our tasks and do them as well as we can, we will be happy with our performance, and we can move on with confidence.  There is little gratification found in rushing, and trying to just patch things through.  When we look back at a task we’ve done poorly because we tried to do it as quickly as possible, there is no sense of accomplishment.  However, there is great value in doing our tasks well.  And when we do them well, we know we’ve done our best.

In order to do our best, we need to focus.  Recent studies show that there really is no such thing as multi-tasking.  It turns out we can really only focus our attention on one thing at a time.  So if we want to do our tasks well, we need to zone in on one at a time, and make it a priority.  It may be something small, some errand we have to run or some menial chore that needs addressing, or it might be something really important.  Whatever it is, if we put our complete focus on it, and don’t try to do three other things at the same time, we will be happier with the result.  And in the end, a job done well done may prevent additional complications later.  And nobody needs more complications.

Today if you have a lot to do, and you’re rushing around trying to complete everything, try to focus on one task at a time.  You’ll get things done more effectively and because you have eliminated all the distractions, you’ll get them done more quickly.  Do one thing, and then move on to the next.  Before you know it you’ll have completed everything, and looking back you’ll be happy with what you’ve done.  Remember, “Any job worth doing is worth doing well.”  You can do everything well.  And when you do, you’ll be happy with the result.

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