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Giving In

27 Oct

Most of us like to be helpful. We try to be available when others need us or we offer assistance when we see someone struggling. We want to be there for our friends and family and be supportive. But there may be some who take advantage of us and create situations where we feel uncomfortable. Sometimes it’s because they lack personal boundaries and there are no limits to what they will ask. If they lie to us to get to their objective, we may get tangled up in situations that are difficult and confusing. If they are close friends, family, or loved ones, and this becomes a pattern we may get hurt. If we believe in promises that never become reality and continue to trust them to follow through despite what we’ve experienced, we may find ourselves unsettled and miserable when we deal with them. It can be hard to say no to someone close to us even if we know we may get hurt. There is an old saying that “Hope springs eternal,” and in our personal relationships that is often true. Even if someone has disappointed us many times we may hope the next time will be different. We may trust them to change even if there is no evidence a change is coming.

We are entitled to be happy. We deserve the best life we can create for ourselves. We can understand and clearly define our personal boundaries and when someone steps over them, we can back up. Being in control of our lives and decisions is our responsibility. If someone close to us continually abuses our trust, manipulates us to get what they want, or doesn’t follow through on their promises, we may step back and disengage from them. We don’t have to end our relationship but we can define what we will not do and hold fast to our decision. It’s impossible to change anyone but ourselves. We can’t make others follow through, and we can’t make them honest. But we can control what we do at every turn. If we are asked to do something that makes us uncomfortable we can say no.  If we are promised something we are sure will not happen, we can refuse to believe it. We can stay in our relationships and still honor our boundaries so we are happy.

Some people define love as doing everything others want. They try to make everyone happy and are uncomfortable expressing anything different from those around them. But we are all unique and it’s impossible to make everyone else happy. The world is a big place and there isn’t anyone else exactly like us. We don’t always have to agree or act a certain way to be loved. We deserve love just because we’re here. We can define what works for us and we can say no when we need to. If we are clear about our decisions those around us will know our true selves and respect us for our honesty. We never have to go along or give in if we don’t want to. We can be kind and patient, loving and supportive, and still say no.

Today if you’ve been going along in a situation that is making you uncomfortable, you may say no. You offer so much to the world and we are all blessed because you’re here. You can do what is best for you. You’re in control of your life and you can choose how you live it. Make your best decisions today and happiness will follow.

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In the Web

17 Oct

Spider webs are interesting.  They can be very intricate and quite large, and the detail of each is amazing and often quite beautiful.  Despite their beauty, spider webs are built as a snare to catch prey.  They are sticky and when the intended creature gets too close they are caught up and entangled, unable to escape.  Each individual strand is very strong and they are efficient traps for insects and other morsels the spider wishes to catch.  Although we don’t spin the same sorts of webs as spiders do, it’s possible to get caught up in a different kind of web.  If we are involved with people who lie, or cheat, or manipulate, or are dishonest they may entangle us in a web of deceit that is strong and may hold us tightly in place.  If we’re closely involved with someone who is dishonest and can’t see the entire picture, we may become ensnared.  It’s good to have close relationships but it’s important to be able to step back from time to time to see the whole story.  Confusion is often an important clue.  If we feel confused about a situation it can be a clue that we need to step back and see the bigger picture.  Deceit can be very painful to face but finding truth is imperative in everything we do.  If we get caught in a web, truth will show us the way out.

Living dishonestly can take many interpretations.  Maybe we don’t tell the entire truth when telling only part of it benefits us.  Maybe we don’t do everything we say we’ll do because it’s difficult and time consuming.  Maybe we pretend to be something we aren’t so we can look different to someone we want to impress.  Whatever means of dishonesty we employ may get us by for a time but eventually the truth will rise and we will be held accountable.  It may seem that sometimes a little dishonesty won’t hurt anything and will make things easier.  Unfortunately, however, once the lie is uncovered our lives will be more complicated and may be more difficult as we try to untangle things.  Like a large, complex web that is sticky and thick, dishonesty will eventually trip us up and we’ll have to tear it down to get back to the truth.

Living an honest and clean life takes effort.  Although we may see the road we should take, choosing it may be difficult and require courage.  We are certainly capable of making good choices and being truthful in all things.  When we are honest the road may be a little harder than if we’d lied, and it may take a little longer than if we’d cheated, but in the end choosing well will bring a victory clear of deception and filled with content.  We can always choose the right and find our way.  We deserve the best life possible.  Choosing to live honestly in all our dealings will bring us happiness.  We can offer our best to the world and make all our dreams come true, honestly and ethically.

Today if you have choices to make and you’re thinking about cutting corners or being dishonest to make them easier, think again.  Choose the best way forward and be honest about everything you do.  Be the very best you can be and make your best decisions today. You have greatness in you and the world needs your example.  Be the light and show us the way.

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Blockade

13 Oct

We all have ideas about how we want our lives to go and what we want to do. When there is something that entices us, something we want, or a destination we’ve decided on, we may be captivated by our plans to achieve it. It’s great when we’re able to succeed and gain the prize but sometimes no matter what we do we can’t get there. Sometimes the door is shut – and locked – and nothing we do will open it. There is a blockade in our path. Perhaps others are involved and blocking our way, or maybe the goal we’re seeking isn’t available to us, or it’s a desired relationship with someone else who isn’t interested in us. Whatever the reason, it’s hard to face a stop sign when we want to proceed. But if there truly is no way to get to the goal we will eventually have to accept the situation as it is. We may try to go around whatever is in our way, or try to negotiate to get in, or a dozen other tactics to try to move forward, but if the answer is truly no we will have to let it go. It’s very difficult to turn away from something we want badly. It can be hard to change and move in another direction but sometimes that’s where we are.

Facing a great disappointment takes time to process. At first we may think it’s a temporary setback and we’ll eventually get to the prize. We may convince ourselves the timing just isn’t right but feel that will change. There is nothing wrong with having a positive attitude but if the goal we’re seeking is truly out of reach it’s better to face the situation and move forward in another direction. There is little to be gained by living in a dream state. Reality is what will bring us truth and truth is what brings happiness. If we need time to grieve over the disappointment, we can take it. If we need a change of scenery, we can get it. And if we need to re-evaluate our plans going forward, we can do that. Serious disappointments aren’t easy to accept and they take time to get through. But we are capable of managing anything we have to face and if we give ourselves the time we need we can move on.

When things go wrong and we’re struggling to find our way we may feel like failures. We may overreact to the disappointment and make it personal. We may believe the lie that we always fail, that nothing we do every goes right, or that nobody will ever love us. Sometimes we will make mistakes and sometimes we will fail. And sometimes even if we haven’t done anything wrong things won’t go our way. It’s important to remember we have many excellent qualities and are capable of doing many things well. We do some things very well. Even if our plans fail, we aren’t failures. Things just didn’t go our way this time. Next time everything will be different. We can be confident in our abilities, and remember we are intelligent and lovable just as we are. Plans may fail but we don’t have to. We can learn and grow and go forward with courage to face the next challenge. There is a lot of success coming our way. We can focus on that and move forward with confidence.

Today if you’re facing a terrible disappointment and feel shaken and unsure, remember all the times you’ve succeeded in the past. There is greatness in you and many more successes ahead. Look forward and be strong. Be confident. You have so much going for you. The future is bright and it’s waiting for you.

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Really?

5 Oct

When we’re enchanted by someone or a situation, we don’t always see things exactly as they are.  We may be entranced by appearances and mesmerized by beautiful words.  If we really want it to be real we may be convinced despite all indications to the contrary.  We may get caught up in fiction and fail to see truth.  As time passes there may be cracks in the armor but if we’re convinced that what we believe is real we may simply ignore them.  Living in the land of fiction rarely brings happiness and often results in pain.  Truth is invincible and will rise and no matter where we are we will eventually face it.  If we’ve been truly duped we may be seriously hurt.  It’s hard to accept that anyone would purposely deceive us and if we care about them, we may feel devastated.  There isn’t anything we can’t face when we’re ready.  The trick is to live so we’re always willing to see things as they really are and live our lives truthfully.  When we really want something we may buy into a situation that is false but being courageous enough to evaluate it and move forward honestly is the only way to real happiness.

Successful relationships require honesty.  We must be honest about who we are and what we’re doing.  Lying, deceiving, pretending or in any way being untruthful can destroy even the strongest relationship.  If the other party likes certain things we don’t enjoy we can pretend we enjoy them too.  We can pretend to have personality traits we know will be attractive to someone else, or say things we don’t really mean but which we know will bring someone closer to us.  We can do anything we want to convince others to be a part of our lives.  But every deception will be uncovered in time.  It may come to light immediately, or it may take time but it will be revealed.  Once dishonesty has been uncovered, trust is damaged and the relationship will be hurt.  It may take serious time to restore trust and in some cases the relationship may be broken.

Everyone is different and we each have special gifts to offer.  We are valuable and precious in our own way.  We can be confident in honoring that value and understanding we are a gift to the world.  We don’t have to fit anyone else’s model to be loved.  We don’t have to pretend to be something we aren’t.  We are perfect just as we are.  Understanding that and accepting ourselves as we are will help us live more genuinely.  We can be perfectly honest about what we like and what we don’t, our personalities, our unique traits and what we have to offer.  We don’t have blend to fit in and we don’t have to change to be loved.  We are who we are and that’s enough.  We can live our lives honestly and openly and be the best we can be.

Today if you find you’ve been deceived and are hurt, learn as much as you can from the experience.  You are capable of finding truth and accepting it.  If you’ve been pretending to be something you aren’t remember how precious you are just being yourself. You have so much to offer.  Be the best you can be today.  Be brave.  You are lovable just as you are.

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Pretty Packages

29 Sep

There is something alluring and exciting about a stack of beautifully wrapped packages waiting to be opened. Whatever the occasion, pretty wrapping paper, graceful bows and shiny boxes are captivating and draw us in with all the possibilities. Although we don’t know what’s inside, just looking at them can bring us excitement and wonder. What’s underneath may be the prize but the packaging is what pulls us close. The bright colors tantalize us, the shimmer enchants us and we may feel almost mesmerized by the sight. Wrapping things up in pretty packages is very effective. It’s a tool sometimes used in our everyday lives to captivate us and get our attention. If there is something we don’t want to face, or something someone wants to sell us, dressing it up in lovely illusion may bring us close. And the closer we get the harder it may be to see things objectively. If we get caught up in the beauty and fail to see what lies at the heart of the matter, we may get lost. Shiny boxes and beautiful paper may capture our attention, but what lies inside is what’s important. It may be something wonderful or something entirely different. Turning our focus away from the sheen and luster, and really seeing things as they are will help us find what’s real.

Personal beauty is a powerful force. If we see someone who is physically very attractive we may feel strongly drawn to them. Even before they say a word we may want to be close to them. The way they smile is enchanting, the way they move is hypnotic and we may feel unable to look away. But outward appearance tells nothing about who is inside. Are they honest, kind, loving, sensitive, and sincere? We may believe they are wonderful without any evidence simply because they are so appealing on the outside. But the wrapping only covers what lies beneath. Although the attraction may be great we must discover what is real before we can proceed with confidence. Sometimes outward beauty is all there is. Discovering the truth before traveling too far down the road will help us move forward more effectively.

Lies are an effective, if dishonest, way of dressing up distasteful or unpleasant situations. We can make things seem prettier by saying they are different than they really are. We can embellish the truth to make a situation more beautiful and more attractive, and we can use distraction to help get our message through. All lies are eventually uncovered and just like unwrapping a beautiful package and finding something unappealing or offensive inside, we will find the truth in every situation. If we can be perceptive enough to remember pretty words and shiny paper mean nothing and wise enough to see through the shimmer, we will find the truth more easily. We don’t need pretty packages to face our lives. We are capable of understanding and accepting things as they are and smart enough to find the truth.

Today if you’ve been fooled by something alluring and attractive, and now see things are different than you thought, accept the complete truth. You know what’s real and are strong enough to face it. You can understand everything. Move forward with confidence knowing the whole story and you’ll find great success.

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