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Birds of a Feather

14 Jul

We associate with all kinds of people throughout our lives. Some are family, some are friends, some are lovers, some are acquaintances, and some may even be enemies. Except for family situations or times when we must associate with someone because of a job or other activity, we may choose with whom we spend our time. It’s wise to think about the behaviors and choices of those we share our lives with. We all influence the world in many ways and personal influence can be very powerful. If we frequently associate with someone whose choices are negative, they may, over time, become a detrimental influence in our lives. There is an old saying, “Birds of a feather flock together.” It obviously means people who share the same types of preferences and choices tend to spend time together. It’s fun to share our time with others who enjoy our company and like the same things we do. But if we are in relationships with someone who is making bad choices, or whose behavior is destructive and hurtful, and we spend a lot of time with them, we may get hurt. We are in control of our lives but repeated exposure to negative behavior over time may affect us. We deserve to be happy and live with the least amount of complication. We can associate with whomever we choose, but it’s wise to be careful about their influence over us.

Relationships are important and we all want strong, healthy, and happy ones. If we have someone in our lives who belittles us, ridicules us or makes us feel small or unworthy, their comments and actions may have a negative impact on us. If we’ve been in the relationship for a long time it may be hard to find a way out. But we are important and we deserve to be treated well. If we’re struggling with a family member we value but who treats us this way, we can limit our time with them. We don’t have to sever all our ties but we can lessen our exposure. We don’t have to do anything that is uncomfortable for us and we can take care of ourselves and minimize offensive interactions. We can determine how much time negative influences may have in our lives, and we can limit it so we’re comfortable and do what’s best for us.

If we have friends who make decisions and choices we find difficult, we don’t have to participate. We never have to go along just because someone wants us to, and we always have the right to say no. We can be polite and gracious, but if we’re uncomfortable with any situation we can opt out. We don’t have to go anywhere we don’t want to go, or do anything we don’t want to do. Our lives are ours to design and direct. If we have friends who do things that make us uncomfortable, we can tell them how we feel and explain our boundaries. If they can accept our choices, we may continue the relationship. If they can’t accept them, we may do other things. We can change anything we need to ensure we’re happy with what we’re doing and where we’re going.

Today if you’re in a situation that is making you uncomfortable, if someone near you is including you in a decision that doesn’t feel right or is criticizing you and making you feel bad, you may step away. You deserve the life that makes you happiest. You know what feels right. Determine what works for you and follow that. You deserve every blessing. Today let yourself have them.

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Making it Right

4 Jul

We make a lot of decisions in our lives. Sometimes we choose well, and other times we may struggle to find our way. We make a lot of choices and it seems obvious that choosing the right way will take us where we want to go and choosing the wrong way won’t. But life is complicated and there may be times when we convince ourselves that taking a wrong turn will take us to our destination. We can believe that going one way will eventually take us another. If we only focus on what we want and all we see is the prize, we may choose a path we believe will get us there quickly without seeing the whole picture. We can choose any road we want and do anything we like but a wrong choice, although it might be the quickest answer or the easiest, will never be the best decision. Nobody is immune from making mistakes but we have a better shot at getting things right if we take our time and choose carefully. If we rush, or if all we can see is the finish line we may take a wrong turn that in the end may cost us more than we imagined.

We understand how to get from point A to point B when we plan a trip. If it’s a road trip we plot the course that will get us there most effectively. If we want to travel north, we don’t choose roads that go east or west or south. We choose the roads that take us north to our appointed destination. But it can sometimes be difficult to use the same simple logic when making our personal decisions. There may be others involved, or complications we have to navigate around, and sometimes we only have a general idea of where we want to be. If we are desperate to reach a goal, we may take chances on paths that are undefined or unproven that cause us to fail. We are all capable of making excellent decisions but it takes determination and a clear understanding of our situation to ensure we get there.

It’s impossible to turn a bad decision into a good one. Making decisions are the most important things we do every day. They determine where we go and have influence over what happens next. If we blunder blindly through and carelessly choose this or that, trying to patch our way from one step to another, our lives will be convoluted and confusing. We create unnecessary drama when we don’t proactively choose our course. Bad decisions can be powerful deterrents. They can prevent us from moving forward, hold us down when we want to get up, and create congestion that prevents us from seeing clearly. If we take the time we need to see everything openly and determine exactly how we want to move forward, we can often prevent complications and enable success. We can do anything and we can do it well. If we are careful, we can make excellent decisions that take us where we want to go and bring us happiness.

Today if you’ve been stopped by a choice that took you to a dead end instead of a clear path, redirect your course. Think about the best way forward and begin again. There isn’t anything you can’t do. You know where you want to go and you know how to get there. Change your direction until you find the best way forward and then start walking. You’ll find the right road and every success.

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Chrysalis

24 Jun

Every day as our lives move along we learn new things, and our situations change.  We develop traits, preferences, desires, and goals based on what we experience and what we want.  We become who we are with each new experience but who we are now isn’t a permanent state.  We are capable of changing anything in our lives whenever we like.  There may be times we look at ourselves and don’t like the reflection we see.  Maybe we don’t look the way we want to look, or haven’t done the things we want to do.  If we are unhappy we can change our course.  Like a chrysalis we leave behind we can move forward from where we are and evolve into the people we want to be.  There isn’t much we can’t do if we really want to.  We can change our appearances, our professional goals, our relationships, where we live, with whom we associate, our ethical and moral standards and anything else that defines us.  Everything is fluid and if we aren’t happy where we are, altering our course is always an option.  The changes we seek may take serious determination and time but no matter what they require if we want them we can achieve them.

The world sends out a lot of messages about who we should be, how we should look, and how we should live our lives.  Those messages are everywhere and if our lives don’t mimic them we may feel we aren’t enough.  But we are the only ones who decide how our lives should be and who we really are.  The opinions of others don’t matter.  What matters is living authentically according to our own desires.  If we do we will find contentment no matter what we’re doing.  We don’t need to fit into the designs set by others and even if we achieve them, it’s unlikely we’ll find true happiness.  Only we know exactly who we are and what we want and we are entitled to create lives that reflect that.

We all deserve to be as happy as possible.  If we aren’t, we can change our course.  If we don’t like the relationships we’re in we can change them.  If we’re unhappy in our jobs, we can look for something else.  And if our family situations are not working for us, we can find better ways to navigate them.  There really isn’t anything we can’t do.  We can change anything and we can be completely happy.  We don’t need anyone’s permission or blessing.  But true happiness doesn’t just happen because we want it.  We have to determine exactly where we want to be and then do everything in our power to get there.  We can design our lives to fit us perfectly and have real and lasting happiness.  We have the power to make all our dreams come true.  We deserve everything we hope for and we are capable of achieving whatever we desire.

Today if you’re unhappy with where you are right now or you don’t like something about your circumstances, make a plan to change and leave the things you don’t want behind.  Start today to re-chart your path forward.  You can achieve all the things you want.  There isn’t anything you can’t do.  You deserve to be completely happy.

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The Two Step

21 Jun

Few things in life go as planned when we start out. Rarely do we go from one point to another in a perfectly straight line with no deviations. Even if we know exactly where we want to go and are confident we know how to get there, obstacles will often arise that impede our path. It’s like doing the two step. We go forward for a while and then have to step to the side. Or we have to step back for a time and wait. It can be frustrating as we deal with whatever detour or complication has presented itself and when we finally get things worked out again we’re eager to get back on track. It seems so easy when we’re making our plans. We just need to go forward and get to the goal. But life is complex and there are a lot of things happening all the time. While we’re making plans, so is everyone else. And there are many things outside our control. It’s true that we can accomplish almost anything we set out to do. But it’s also true that straight lines in this life rarely exist. That doesn’t mean we can’t get where we want to go but it does mean we may have to adjust again and again along the way.

When we’re impatient to achieve something and eager to move ahead, complications in our way are frustrating. In our desire to move forward we may simply shove our way through problems and try to keep going. However, rushing through any development often leads to further difficulties if we’ve neglected to resolve the issue before moving on. It’s hard to slow down and process every problem to find the best solution when we’re eager to move past it, but brushing them off with a cursory glance won’t allow us to resolve them and they may pop up again. If we stop and look at each development clearly, and take the time to completely resolve it we have a better chance of leaving it behind for good. Loose ends have a way of tangling our progress. If we tie them up and close them off, we can let them go and move on.

When we’re making plans to achieve anything it’s important to look at everything that may prevent us from success. Sometimes because we’re in a hurry or determined to get to the goal we may miss some important cues to watch out for. It’s rare that any plans we make won’t involve others in some way. It’s important to plan for how that involvement will work and how to navigate any complications it may cause. Just like taking a road trip we have to make sure the tires are in good shape, we have plenty of gas, our GPS is set or we have a map to get us through any detours, and we know exactly where we’re going to end up. There are always many things to consider when we choose a destination and there will always be unexpected surprises. Planning for them and expecting them will help us get to our goal. Straight lines are nice but learning to bend with the curves can be critical. We can do the two step and do it well. We can bend and turn and weave and dance, and still get to the goal.

Today if you’re trying to move forward but there is something blocking your way, stop and resolve it completely. Take the time to make sure all the loose ends are taken care of and then continue on. There isn’t anything you can’t manage. You know where you want to go and you have everything you need to get there.

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Here a Little

13 Jun

Life teaches us many things.  Sometimes we learn what we need right away and adjust our lives accordingly.  Other times the lessons take a long time to understand.  When we’re navigating change we may wish we could learn everything we need immediately and move on but it doesn’t always work that way.  Change is a process and doesn’t usually happen overnight.  We can’t see all the adjustments we need to make from where we are to where we want to be.  We have to grow into each step and as we do our vision is clarified for what’s next.  There is no way to see everything we need to do or all we need to learn going forward at the beginning.  We get a little here and a little there and piece by piece we gain the attributes we’re seeking.  Here a little and there a little will bring us success.  There may be times in our lives when everything changes all at once but those are very rare.  Generally we move forward inch by inch and as we do we learn everything we need to move forward confidently.

In our busy lives if we have a lot going on we often try to take the fastest routes possible.  We may try to do two things at once and call it multi-tasking although it’s been proven we really can only concentrate on one thing at a time.  But still we may try and although we’re moving forward, we may miss a step here and there.  When a lot is expected of us or we’re in a time crunch we might cut a corner to get to the finish line in time.  But the corners are there for a reason and sometimes when we cut them we miss an important part of what we’re trying to accomplish.  Going fast doesn’t always mean doing well.  Getting the job done is only one piece.  Getting it done well is what brings satisfaction.

When we try to learn something new we have to take it step by step.  If we’re learning to ski we don’t start on the expert run and hope we’ll learn how as we fly down the hill.  But if we want to learn something badly or we’re in a hurry to achieve the accomplishment we may feel impatient taking it step by step.  However if we want to learn the lesson well, whatever it is, step by step is the only way.  We can learn a little here, and as we move forward we’ll learn a little more.  Making the most of each turn, and seeing everything completely and openly will allow us to gain the most from what we’re experiencing.  We can climb every mountain, learn every lesson, and achieve every success little by little.  Learning our lessons well the first time prevents us from making mistakes and having to return to learn them again.  If we take the time needed to make the change well, we can move forward with confidence and completely integrate the change into our lives.  Here a little and there a little will bring success.

Today if you’re impatient with your progress and want to skip to the finish line, remember that each step along the way has something to teach you.  If you learn everything you can as you move along you’ll be successful in gaining the most from your experiences.  Learn all you can as you move forward.  Your understanding will be magnified and your growth will reflect that.

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