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20 Sep

Nobody is good at everything. We all do some things well, some things very well, and there are some things we struggle with. They say where there’s a will there’s a way, and often that applies, but there are some gifts we just don’t possess. Perhaps we always wanted to be a ballet dancer but our body can’t manage the rigorous training demands. Maybe we want to be a great singer but we are tone deaf. We have many dreams we hope to achieve, and it’s hard to admit defeat when we want to accomplish something, and can’t make it happen. We can’t always get what we want, and some things will elude us despite our desires and efforts. When that happens it’s important to remember we aren’t failures. It’s impossible to do everything, and although we may not succeed at one thing, we are good at many other things.

Sometimes when we set our sights on a new and lofty goal, we get support from those around us, and sometimes we don’t. There are plenty of people who will try to discourage us no matter what we’re aiming for. Their motivations are theirs and have nothing to do with our decisions. We can try to do anything we choose to and we don’t need the approval of others to go forward. When we have encouragement it makes the task easier as we learn, and if we falter, it’s comforting to have someone in our corner cheering us on. If we succeed, they will rejoice with us. We’ll be happy and feel confident. But sometimes success isn’t possible. When that happens, even if we’re unhappy, we can still feel confident because we tried. We dared to to go after something we wanted. We gave it our all.  And we should cherish that.

Disappointment comes in many ways. It can be insignificant, or it can be devastating. When we are seriously upset over a crushing disappointment, it’s hard to look forward. What we hoped for, and what we wanted so badly, is out of our reach. If we don’t have a choice we must let it go. It can feel like we’re losing something important, and it can hurt badly. But we always have options. There are countless opportunities in life, and although a serious setback is painful, we can overcome it and focus on something new. The important thing is to try. We never know how far we can go if we never stretch to see what’s possible. Talking about what we want is only the first step. Trying to accomplish it, even if we fail, brings us strength, understanding, and a greater sense of confidence.

Today if you’re trying to do something new, do the best you can to make it work. No matter what happens, you’ll feel confident and strong. Reach for the stars. Go forward with courage.  Reaching will bring you blessings. You’ll learn more about yourself, and you’ll be happy knowing you did the best you could.

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Power of Soft

17 Sep

When we have disagreements with others, we can choose to try and keep the conversation calm or we can escalate it. If we’re angry and feel we’re being attacked, we may decide we don’t care and jump in with both feet. It’s easy to react instead of respond calmly. If we’re being yelled at, and we yell back generally things will get worse. And when we’re angry sometimes we don’t care if things worsen. But if our relationship is important to us, we might consider going another way. If we do something to deescalate the issue, we have a better chance of reaching resolution without causing more problems. It is said that a soft voice turns away anger, and that’s often true. When people are angry and upset, they tend to raise their voices. If we return their loud statements with a soft response it changes the dynamic of the exchange. It will be unexpected, and often they will lower their voice as well. Even if they aren’t yelling but are saying unfavorable and contentious things, responding with a soft voice will often keep the situation from intensifying.

Some people are loud by nature. They say things with determination and conviction. They are neither demure nor reserved, and sometimes because of the volume of their voices we may misinterpret their interactions with us. A loud voice doesn’t always mean there is a problem. But if there is an issue, responding with a soft voice when talking to them will get their attention. And when we get their attention, we have the opportunity to resolve any issue more effectively. When we respond quietly in times of conflict, people lean in, and listen. It stops even the most determined and angry, and changes the tone of the interaction.

When we’re angry and upset, sometimes instead of being calm and taking time to think through the issue, we might lash out. We may blast the person we feel caused the problem and let them know, in no uncertain terms, how we feel. When we do that we might feel better, but it rarely helps to solve the problem. If we wait, and take just a moment to collect our thoughts and think about the whole situation before we talk to them, and then use a soft voice, we have a better chance of finding a resolution without making the problem worse. It takes self-control and patience to wait, but we are all capable of handling conflict better, and managing our anger more effectively. Think about using a soft voice when you confront someone you’re angry with. It will calm you down and instead of defending themselves after feeling attacked, they will be able to respond and explain things more clearly.

Today if you are angrily confronted by someone else, try to respond using a soft voice. Be calm and clear, and quietly answer their concerns. You will be in control of the situation and yourself, and you’ll feel more confident and strong. Listen to their complaints and quietly answer their questions. It will diminish the conflict, and help resolve the issue. You can handle any situation that comes up today with a soft voice and quiet demeanor. You will prevail by being in control, and your day will be better and easier because of it.

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Where We Live

14 Sep

Everybody knows they should take care of themselves. We hear the good advice all the time– eat right, exercise, and get enough sleep – but sometimes it gets lost in the shuffle. We’re busy and finding time to take care of ourselves isn’t always a priority. We want to eat right but end up grabbing something on the go between appointments.  We know we should exercise but getting to the gym or even out for a walk sometimes doesn’t make it onto our day planner. And sleep happens when we finally get to bed – often too late. The important needs for good health are always there in the backs of our minds, but we’re focused on other things and those things take all our attention and energy. Time goes by and even if we’ve made the decision to do better, our best intentions can get lost.

Each day we’re alive is a blessing. We get to share who we are with the world and be a part of the human experience. We get to learn things, meet people, go places, and accomplish our goals. We take it for granted that tomorrow will come and we’ll be fine. But sometimes things go wrong, and we get sick. Or we have a frightening experience that shakes us out of our apathy regarding our physical forms. Maybe we have an unexpected health scare, or maybe we finally step on the scale and see a number we can’t believe, or maybe someone close to us dies suddenly. When these things happen, we tend to stop and take stock. If we realize we haven’t done our part to be strong, and if we’re wise, we’ll adjust our lives to make good health a priority.

We live in a resilient, but fragile human body. Since science hasn’t yet figured out how to transfer us into an artificial existence, if our bodies fail, we can’t leave them behind and enter another physical form. If they fail, we fail. We don’t have anywhere else to go. Given that reality, if we want to be here as long as we can, we need to take care of things. Nobody can take care of our physical health but us. Our doctors, our friends, and our families may lecture us about taking care of ourselves, but we are the only ones who can do it. When we decide we want to change and be more proactive, we need to make it important in our lives. It’s not a hard decision to make, but it requires diligence, and attention to hold onto. We’re all busy. We have a lot on our minds. We all have a lot to do, but if we don’t make ourselves a priority, none of it matters. Once our bodies die, all the tasks in our pending box will be inconsequential.

Today if you haven’t been paying attention to your physical needs, think about how you can begin to take better care to become your personal best. You don’t have to run a marathon, you don’t have to starve yourself, and you don’t have to go to bed with the children. But there are things you can do to improve your health and become stronger. You are a gift to the world. Your influence is important and needs to be here as long as possible.  Do everything you can to make that happen. You’ll feel better, you’ll be happier, and you’ll be glad you did.

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In the Mix

13 Sep

There are a lot of differences in the people of the world. They are different everywhere we go. In some places they look like us, in other places they don’t. Customs vary widely and what to us may seem strange may be commonplace for someone else. In our very mobile society, people continually move from place to place, from country to country, even continent to continent. This mobility has created a lot of diversity in many places, and although it’s fun to learn new things about new people, when we first meet, it can be hard to understand them. Some of us are afraid of the differences, and some of us are excited by them. Either way the differences exist, and it’s up to us to accept them.

If we come from a place that is somewhat isolated, and if we’ve lived there for a long time, it may be harder for us to understand those that are very different from us. We may be nervous about the disparity in customs, the challenge of language barriers, and our lack of knowledge of their beliefs. But if we take the chance to get to know them, we will find that most of us are basically the same despite all the differences. We all want to be happy, and safe, and we all want our beliefs to be respected. If we focus on the basic needs we all share, we can broach the differences, and make them a compliment to the relationship, and not a hindrance.

If we live in a big metropolitan area, where there are, and always have been, people from around the world, it may be second nature to accept differences. But even then, we may have to overcome perceptions and prejudices, ideas about certain groups, and uncertainty about how to communicate. But if we try to see each person as an individual, extend the hand of friendship and try to understand their perspective, we can make friends with everyone. Most of us want to be loved. We want others to like us and we want to get along peacefully. Of course there will always be some who prefer tension and trouble, but most of us want to be friends. Embrace that and trust in it. It takes all kinds of ingredients to make a delicious cookie. It’s not all flour or sugar, and we need all the ingredients to combine and cooperate to have success. It’s the same with people. When everyone is just like us, it may be comfortable. But it’s far more exciting to have others in the mix who bring the richness of difference, and the enhancement of diversity.

Today if you have the opportunity to meet and interact with someone who is very different from you, be open and welcoming. They are probably as nervous about the differences as you are. Extend your friendship and get to know them. You will find your life will be richer, and you’ll have a better understanding of the world. Life is all about difference, but we all share the important things. Make friends and learn something new. You’ll be wiser for the experience.

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Got Your Back

9 Sep

Recently a police officer was shot to death while pumping gas. It was a horrible, malicious and cowardly act, and authorities have arrested a suspect they believe committed the crime. After that terrible event, while at a gas station with his mother, a sixteen year old boy saw another police officer pumping gas. Concerned about her, he walked up to the officer and asked if he could watch her back while she was standing by her car. Surprised but delighted, the officer agreed. Nothing happened and all went well, but the courage and determination demonstrated by that young man are an example to us all. Who has our backs, and how can we watch out for those around us?

We go through our days, busily completing our various tasks and focused on what we’re doing. Sometimes we don’t pay much attention to what’s going on around us. But everywhere we go there are others just like us, busy getting things done. We get used to seeing them and we don’t really watch what’s going on. But if we take a moment to look up and see what’s around us, who’s walking by, who’s in front of or behind us, we can more closely connect to our surroundings. Being aware is an important facet of any situation. We’re safer when we really see where we are, what’s going on, and what we’re doing.

If we pay more attention to those around us, we can be more helpful. We don’t have to offer to protect a police officer to have someone’s back, but we could help out in other small ways. Maybe we could open a door, or help lift something heavy, or smile at a fussing child, or just say hello. The people around us every day are connected to us. We’re all part of the same big family. We need to watch out for them, and let them watch out for us. Most of us care about others, but perhaps we don’t take as much time as we could to express that care. We can be more involved by helping out, and having their backs. And we can let them watch out for us as well.

Today look around as you go about your tasks and notice those near you. What’s going on? Who’s standing beside you? Is there some way you could help out just a little? Is there some way you can show you care? If there is, do whatever you can, and you’ll feel better knowing you are doing your part. Others will see your example, and like a stone thrown into a pond, the rippling of your good works will create others. Be the one to have someone’s back today. And when others offer to help you out, be grateful.

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