Archive | Change RSS feed for this section

Small Moves

15 Oct

Change is rarely easy.  It’s always more comfortable to keep things as they are than it is to change them.  But change is constant and can’t be avoided.  Sometimes we need to make adjustments to facilitate new situations in our lives.  Maybe we are moving and must change our jobs, or our jobs are changing causing us to relocate.  Perhaps a family situation has developed and it’s impacting our lives and routine in ways that mean we have to adjust our patterns and how we do things.  When we have to make serious changes it can be hard to navigate at first.  We may try to keep doing things as always and hope it’ll work out.  If it doesn’t we’ll have to find a new way to go forward.  It’s important to realize that change doesn’t usually happen all at once.  We generally have to make small adjustments one at a time to figure out what works.  We turn a few degrees to the right or to the left, re-adjust and then, if necessary, turn again.  We continue to modify our path until things are working more effectively and we’ve completely implemented the change into our lives.

Sometimes it seems like life would be easier if everything stayed the same.  We’re familiar with this road, we’ve been on it for a while and don’t see any reason to go into uncharted territory.  But this life is consistently changing.  It’s really the only constant we can count on.  No matter how things are now, they won’t stay that way forever.  So learning to accommodate the inevitable change that’s coming is imperative.  We can’t see the future and we don’t know what lies ahead.  What we’re doing now is preparing us for the new experiences coming our way.  If we are confident and positive looking forward, we will be able to adjust to whatever comes.  There really isn’t anything we can’t face.  Even the most difficult developments are within our ability to understand and navigate.

Our responses to change often result in stress.  Whether the change is wonderful or disastrous doesn’t really matter.  The measure of the change often brings with it a comparable amount of stress as we try to adjust.  If the impact is great, it takes more time than if it’s small.  We may feel out of control, anxious, and uncomfortable as we navigate through the transition.  But if we take it one step at a time, we’ll find our footing again, and no matter what the change is, we’ll figure out how to process it into our lives.  We don’t need to be afraid, and we don’t need to worry.  There isn’t anything we can’t manage.  We can be calm and confident as we figure out what to do next.  In time we’ll get through and although our lives may be different, and we may be facing a new “normal,” we’ll be able to find happiness and peace again.

Today if you’re facing some new changes, if you’re unsure and feel stressed, give yourself time to adjust.  Take it one step at a time.  Change is a normal and expected part of life.  It’s a time to redirect, and redefine who we are and where we’re going.  Walk through the transition at your own pace.  Give yourself time to adjust, and before you know it you’ll be on the other side happy with where you are, and looking forward.

Tags: , ,

Taking Time

4 Oct

We live in a hurry up world. No matter what we’re doing or where we’re going it seems everyone wants us to get something done quickly, or get somewhere in a hurry. We rush from task to task, sometimes barely taking time to think about what we’re doing. While we’re in such a hurry, sometimes before we finish the task we’re on, we’re already thinking about the next thing on the list we need to get done. Others expect a lot from us, and we push ourselves, and cut corners to make things go faster. It’s exhausting and at the end of the day we sometimes can’t remember exactly what we did until we pull our extensive lists out and take a look. This is not the best way to live our lives, but it is sometimes where we are. We get caught up in checking things off our list and don’t notice the day going by. But the day is surely going by, never to return. At midnight it will leave us. The days turn into weeks, which turn into months, which turn into years. And so it goes.

Although it’s important to be successful in getting things done that are important to us, sometimes we fill our days with tasks that don’t mean much in the long run. Menial chores that eat up our time, and distract us from our lives. We can find a better way to manage these things if we take some time to make a plan. Perhaps instead of running around every day trying to get a lot done, we could set some dedicated time aside one day a week to accomplish all the details that clutter up our lives. If we used that block of time only for accomplishing those tasks, don’t answer the phone, and don’t commit to anything else, we can free up the rest of the week for other things – like enjoying our lives. One thing is certain, there is plenty to fill our days and if we’re not careful, our tasks will control our lives. And when that happens we may feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and burned out.

Taking a moment to plan will help us make time for the things that are most important. Time for ourselves, time for our friends and family, and time for rest. Taking time for ourselves helps us stay on track, and adjust our course to get to the destination we want most. Without planning, our days may end up being busy without end. We spend a lot of time in outward activities, and when we’re busy running around we don’t pay attention to what’s going on inside us. But if we take time to regroup and check in, time to listen to how we feel, and what we need, we’ll be more effective and happier. We are the most important people in our lives. We need to acknowledge that importance, and take care of ourselves. We can be in control of our time, our choices, and our responsibilities. Nobody can manage our time better than we can. And when we’re effective in that management we’ll get more done, and we’ll feel more peace in our lives. Taking care of ourselves and our needs is our personal responsibility, and is the most important thing we will do each day.

Today if you’re overwhelmed with all you have to get done, if you’re running around and rushing, and feel stressed, stop for moment. Just stop. Take a breath and think about how you could manage your time more effectively. Make a plan and then work it. You’ll feel more in control, more relaxed, and a lot happier. This life is yours. You can live it any way you choose. Today choose to live it in a way that brings you peace and joy. You deserve all the best of everything. Plan for it, and arrange your time to get it.

Tags: , ,

Bitter or Better

23 Sep

Hard times come to us all. Sometimes we face heartbreak, sadness, and serious disappointment.   We may let the pain of these events go quickly and move on, but sometimes if the hurt is very deep, we may hold onto them for a while. It’s hard to move through a difficult time if we can’t let go of the pain, but sometimes we get stuck holding onto it. If someone has hurt us deeply, or betrayed us greatly, we may hold onto it for years, or for the rest of our lives. Perhaps someone you know has let something affect their lives so deeply they are no longer happy. Maybe it’s changed the whole dynamic of their lives. They are bitter and cannot move on.

Trials aren’t something we want to face. We don’t look for them, and we hope they won’t come our way, but they come to all of us. If we choose to, we can try to learn as much as possible from the experience, and then let it go so we can move on. If we do that, we may restore our happiness, and turn “bitter” into “better.” But since most of our painful experiences involve others, it generally means we have to forgive someone. If we’ve been hurt deeply, that may be difficult. But bitterness will destroy our lives if we let it fester. If we want to move forward, we must do everything required – including forgive.

There are people in this life who don’t care if they hurt others as long as they get what they want. It’s very difficult to be in relationships with them, and if we are, we will probably get hurt. They can only see themselves. They often talk a good line, tell others how much they care, and even pretend to be supportive, but in the end they only serve themselves. It’s doubtful they will feel shame or remorse. They are only concerned with what they want and what they need. If we have someone like that in our lives and they hurt us, we may try to explain our pain to them, and try to make them change. But we can’t change others no matter how hard we try. We can only change ourselves. We have to move forward from where we are. We have the power to let things go, to move on, and become stronger, and more resilient because of our experiences. We have the power to control our lives and make them happy.

Today if you’re dealing with pain from something that’s happened, do everything you can to make things right, and then let it go. Your life is too valuable to waste on unhappiness. You are in control of yourself and you can be happy. You are strong, and perfectly capable of managing this. You’ve been through trials before and survived. You can do anything you want. Do what you must to move through this, and begin again.

Tags: , ,

Making It Happen

15 Sep

There are times in our lives when we really want something to happen. It consumes our thoughts, and we try our best to make things work so it’ll come to pass. Oftentimes the things we want to occur involve others. Sometimes they agree with our plans, but sometimes they don’t, and when they don’t we may try hard to convince them to change their minds. We might try pleading with them, cajoling them, and at our worst, even threatening them in an effort to sell our idea. When things work out the way we want them to, we feel satisfied. We’ve accomplished what we wanted most of all. But when they don’t, when whatever it is doesn’t happen, we may feel angry, defeated, and disappointed.

Everyone gets to make their own choices. We all understand that but when we want those choices to agree with ours and they don’t, accepting it is a little harder. Sometimes our choices are going to be different than what others want. It’s frustrating to be told “no” when we want something very much. It’s hard to accept that our dream isn’t going to happen, especially if it’s a good thing that would benefit others. But if we can’t bring others on board, even if it’s the best idea ever dreamed up, we either have to change it, or we have to let it go.

Sometimes when we fail to get the support we need, we can revise the plan in a way that will bring the results we’re seeking. Maybe we have to wait a little longer until things fall into place. Maybe we need to involve a different group of people, or change the plan to suit the needs of those we need support from. There are no guarantees in this life. We can only try to do our best, and sometimes our best can’t make it happen. Sometimes nothing we do can make it happen. When that occurs, we have to redirect our course. There is nothing wrong with changing our plans. It doesn’t mean we’ve failed. It means we are capable of understanding the situation, and modifying our direction. And those are two very commendable attributes.

Today if you’re up against a brick wall, if things just aren’t working out the way you want them to, or the way you think they should, it might be time to revise the plan. If there is nothing you can do to make things go your way, change lanes. Turn a little to the right or the left, and redirect your course. Modify your plans so you can succeed. Be flexible. Don’t let a setback hold you up. You know what you want, and you’re creative enough to figure this out.

Tags: , ,

Going Nowhere

1 Sep

There are times in our lives when we get into situations expecting them to proceed to a certain place, but they get stalled. Perhaps it’s a relationship we had high hopes for, or maybe it’s advancement at work. It could even be a personal goal we’re working hard on, but it seems no matter how much we try, we’re stuck. We aren’t going forward. Nothing is moving. It’s disappointing when this happens, especially if the goal is very important to us. So we keep trying, and sometimes things change and we’re able to advance. But sometimes it just doesn’t work. We keep beating the dead horse hoping it will come back to life.

There are times when we just have to change direction. Sometimes what we’re seeking isn’t available to us. In relationships we aren’t the only person involved. Therefore, if the other party isn’t on the same page wanting the same things we do, we may be spinning our wheels. In our careers there are generally lots of other players in the mix. Even if we do everything we can to move forward, there may be unseen or unknown situations that prevent us from advancing. Every goal we set for ourselves, everything we hope to achieve, everything we want depends on what we do and sometimes on decisions others make.

If we’ve been stuck trying to move forward and nothing is changing, we can talk about the situation with the others involved, and try to adjust the focus. If that doesn’t work, we may have to let it go for now and move on. It may feel like a loss to do that, and admitting defeat is never easy. But we aren’t the only person in our lives and even if the goal we’re seeking is noble and good, if it depends on others to achieve it and they aren’t on board, we may have to let it go. It doesn’t mean we were wrong. It doesn’t mean we made a mistake. It just means it’s not available to us right now. Things may change in the future that will allow us to go forward, but for now, it’s a dead end.

Today if you’ve been working hard on something and you aren’t moving forward, determine if you can change the situation to enable you to succeed. If that isn’t possible, set it aside, and move on. Perhaps in the future it will be available, but focus on something else for now where you may find success. This life is filled with change and nobody knows what tomorrow will bring. All we can do is work on today. Let go of the things that are holding you back, and keep your eyes focused ahead.

Tags: , ,

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →