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Returning to the Scene

11 May

In law enforcement when a crime has been committed, often detectives and others looking for the perpetrator will watch the scene of the crime for anyone who looks suspicious.  Often those who commit crimes return to the scene to observe the reactions of people and watch what happens.  In our lives we may never commit crimes, and I hope we don’t, but there may be times when things don’t go quite the way we wanted them to.  There can be a feeling of emptiness as we deal with disappointment and it can sometimes take time to figure out what happened.  If we feel bad, we may decide to revisit the situation to help us understand what went wrong.  That might mean talking to those who were involved to try and gain some clarity.  Or we might just need to think about what happened and try to sort out our feelings.  Life changes every day but sometimes when we aren’t happy it can feel like it’s changing without us.  Returning to the situation where we went off track can help us find our footing again.  If we didn’t understand it all the first time, we may have to return again and again until we figure out how to go forward.  There is no rush and we can take as much time as needed until we’re ready to let it go and move on.

If we suffer a great disappointment and are deeply hurt we might feel stuck in our misery.  The days may seem fuzzy and we may have trouble concentrating.  It’s hard to look ahead when what’s behind us is holding us so tightly.  We may get stalled trying to understand what happened and where to go from here.  Analyzing the situation can help if we can be objective, but like editing, analyzing can become endless.  No matter how we look at the situation we will never be able to change the outcome.  If we’re determined not to look at it, and live in denial we’ll stay stuck until we return and sort it out.  We will ultimately have to accept the changes that have occurred, even if we don’t agree with them, and then chart a course to move forward.  There isn’t anything we can’t manage and whatever comes to us, no matter how heartbreaking or painful, can be put to rest in time.

Walking into the unknown can be unnerving, and trying to find a new road or a new destination may take some time and thought.  There isn’t just one destination for our lives.  We have limitless choices available to us all the time.  If where we thought we were headed is no longer possible, we can choose someplace new.  We can find new ways to live our lives that are rewarding and fulfilling, and we can find happiness even if it’s not the version of happiness we thought we would have.  A great disappointment is hard to bear.  But the lessons learned while navigating through it will strengthen us and make us more confident for the road ahead.  We can do anything and there is nothing too difficult for us to get through.  The road is long and no detour will keep us from traveling forward.

Today if you’ve been shaken by a disappointment and things have not gone the way you hoped, you can find another way to happiness.  There isn’t anything you can’t face and you have all the tools you need to chart a new course.  There are countless roads in front of you. Find the one that takes you where you want to go now.  Make a turn and start moving forward again.  Happiness is there waiting for you.

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Happy or Sad

26 Apr

We go through a lot of things in this life. Sometimes all runs smoothly and we feel happy and content. Other times things go wrong and we’re stressed and unsettled. There is no way to predict what each day will bring and even if we try our hardest to ensure things go well, sometimes there’s a ringer we didn’t plan on and we fall flat. We can’t control a lot of what comes to us but we can control how we react to it. If we’ve had a disappointment it may impact how we feel and what we do. But we can control our behavior and our attitude can affect how we see things and how we go forward. If we want to fall into despair and believe that things will never be right again, we can. Or we can see our disappointments, no matter how great they are, as passages leading to something new. We may not feel content, and we may be unsure, but we can still find joy no matter what we’re going through. If we want to, we can choose to be happy despite any disappointment. Happiness doesn’t just come to us. It’s often a choice we make. No matter what comes we’ll handle it, and as we do, we can find comfort. Since there isn’t anything we can’t manage, we can go forward with confidence and grace, and we can do it with joy.

This life has a lot of ups and downs. Situations and other people affect our lives continually. Those influences can be both a benefit and a detriment. When things go wrong and we’re struggling it can be hard to find joy. But we can be genuine in our disappointment and still look forward with confidence. We can go through hard times, face them head on, and find peace knowing we’re doing the best we can. No matter how difficult the trial, no matter how upset or sad we are or how disappointed we feel, we can still decide to find happiness going forward. No problem is permanent and everything shakes out eventually. We may end up on a completely different road than we thought we were headed for, but that just means the journey has taken a turn. It isn’t over, and we’ve only modified our direction. The twists and turns in our lives take us to new places we may never have dreamed of and wherever they take us we will find our way.

We are often more capable than we think we are. There really isn’t anything we can’t do. When we face difficult trials and serious disappointments, we have the resources within us to manage them. At first we may not believe we can get through but as time passes we’ll see we are coping and moving forward. If we focus on the goal instead of the journey, and the destination instead of the rocky road we’re on, we will get through more easily. And if we determine to find happiness in each day no matter what comes, the journey will be brighter and easier to navigate. Happy or sad, it’s often up to us. Our shoulders are strong enough to bear whatever burdens come. And the sun will continue to shine. If we focus on our strength instead of the heavy load we’re carrying, we will find joy and comfort.

Today if you’re feeling sad or disappointed, if the road seems impossible to navigate, look up. You’ve come so far already and there isn’t anything you can’t do. You have more blessings than you can count. Think about those and focus on the road ahead. Take control. There isn’t anything you can’t do, and you can do it with joy.

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City Hall

25 Apr

There are times in our lives when things don’t go like we want them to.  Sometimes it’s because we haven’t accomplished something, sometimes it’s because someone else is involved, and sometimes it’s for reasons we can’t figure out.  When we want to do anything, often there are a lot of parameters that must come into play and be considered.  If it’s possible to get everything lined up and ready, we can succeed, but there are times we can’t control what’s going on.  There are situations that block us no matter what we do, and things just won’t work.  Even if we know what needs to occur to fix the situation, we may be powerless to make that happen.  It’s very frustrating to want something badly and face a road block so wide and high we can’t get over it.  If the goal is good and we’re motivated, it’s very disappointing when we can’t make it happen.  But if there is no way forward we have to make a new plan.  There is an old saying, “You can’t fight city hall,” meaning sometimes there is no way to succeed where we are.  We know we can do anything we set our minds to but sometimes we may have to change our course and go the long way around to get there.

Planning for success is important.  We can set a goal, look at what’s needed and make the best plan to achieve it.  We can start out and begin moving closer to the goal and with each step learn something new.  If we’re on our own and the achievement depends only on what we do, it’s just a matter of persistence.  But few situations in our lives only touch us.  Most of the time other people and other parameters will have some influence over what we’re trying to do.  We can sometimes work around them, but not always.  If the goal is something we really want, a road block on the path we’ve chosen doesn’t mean we have to give it up.  It just means it’s time to look for an alternate route.  There are limitless ways to accomplish anything.  If we are motivated to continue forward, we can find the road that will take us there.

There may be a thousand reasons why we can’t get to a goal, and we may never know them all.  We can keep trying despite the resistance for as long as we want, and we might make incremental movement.  But if the goal is unattainable right now, we can set it aside and try again later.  We can accomplish other things and return to it.  When we do, we will have more experiences from which to draw, more information to use going forward, and more keys to open the lock.  Sometimes it’s all about timing and what is out of reach today may be within our grasp tomorrow.  We don’t have to give up on a goal we can’t get to today.  We can continue on with our lives and revisit it when things are different.

Today if you’ve been striving for something you really want to accomplish and it’s still out of reach, perhaps set it aside for a time.  Move forward in other ways and try again later.  You can return to anything at any time.   You have everything you need to accomplish anything you choose.  Work with where you are and continue to grow.  Soon you’ll have the right key and the door will open for you.

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Outside Ourselves

14 Mar

Sometimes things go wrong, our life gets turned upside down, and we become stressed.  Maybe there’s too much going on we need to address, or the plans we made fell through and we’re struggling to find our way. Life isn’t always easy and sometimes the road gets rocky. We may feel overwhelmed, lost, scared, or exhausted as we try to navigate the situation, and the last thing we want is to face anything else. It may seem strange but the best thing to do at times like these is to reach outside ourselves and offer help to someone else. It’s virtually impossible to think about our problems when we’re doing something for others. We can’t be focused on what’s going wrong in our lives when we’re trying to help make something right for someone else. Taking the time to serve removes us from the things that are holding us down, and brings us comfort and peace. We can return to our issues later and they’ll still be there. But often if we take time out to serve, when we return to our problems they don’t seem quite so looming or difficult, and we find we can manage them a bit better.

It’s not possible to intensely ponder two situations at once. We can only carefully think about one at a time. If we’re stressed about something and turn our attention to someone else, they become our focus. It doesn’t matter what we do to serve, and there are limitless ways we can help out. For instance, imagine a friend needed food but had no way to get to the store and we offered to take them – it would be a great blessing. Personal service need not be extremely time consuming or difficult. We can do whatever is needed. And if we help, the other person isn’t the only one who benefits. We also receive blessings as we take a break from obsessing over our problems. It’s a win for both.

When we’re under water with an issue that’s concerning us, the last thing we want is more to do. We’re already busy and we have a lot on our minds. We may not think offering help to someone else will bring us respite, but that’s often what happens.  Serving others isn’t just another chore to accomplish. When we serve, we focus on something else, get closer to those around us, and build relationships. As we build friendships we learn more about ourselves. Those we help will trust us and feel our care. We all need each other. We’re connected to one another in ways we can’t always see.  When we’re wrapped up in our own lives we may forget that. Opening the door to service helps us remember. Nobody knows what the future will bring and life changes constantly. It’s possible that although we’re serving today, it may happen in the future that we’ll be the ones in need, and someone will help us.  It’s give and take each day of our lives.  The more we give, the more blessings we’ll take away.

Today if you’re overwhelmed with issues that are concerning and you feel stressed, look around and see where you can help someone else. Take a break from your pressures to serve. You’ll be amazed at how good you’ll feel and how refreshed you’ll be when you return. There isn’t anything you can’t handle. You have so much to offer. Offer it today.

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For Real

3 Mar

When we have a goal and are eager to accomplish it, we want to get started right away and move forward quickly. We might set a time line to motivate us going forward or determine smaller intermediate goals to achieve as we move along. Steps like these help us keep our eyes on the destination and refine our focus. But sometimes in our eagerness to get the job done we set a time line that is unreasonable or intermediate goals that are too big to achieve quickly. Because we’ve set expectations that are beyond what we can successfully accomplish, odds are we’ll fail trying to reach them. Unrealistic goals can undermine our confidence very quickly. But we can re-think our plan and create another that is more workable. Life isn’t a contest. We don’t have to get everything done today or tomorrow, and there is no need to push ourselves beyond our abilities. Success comes most easily when we plan our course realistically and reasonably. Others may tell us we can do things faster, and we may think we should be able to, but if we’re wise, we’ll plan a way we can manage well, and not get overwhelmed.

We can do anything we want to do, but if we plan to accomplish it in ways that are too difficult to achieve, or too fast to succeed, failure will be the likely result. For instance, if we determine we’re too sedentary and want to get fit, we may decide to join a gym. If we’re very motivated we may determine that we’ll go to the gym every single day and work out for two hours. We want to get fit quickly and this seems like a good idea – at first. But then we start out and it’s harder than we thought to change our personal schedule to accommodate two hours every day, and two hours of exercise is far harder than we thought it would be. After a few days we quickly see our plan is too ambitious and we quit. Because we expected too much too quickly we found failure instead of success. This is a common scenario. We’ve all done it in one way or another. The best we can do when we want to change something or achieve anything is to think clearly and honestly about our capabilities and our expectations. We can and should push ourselves to achieve, but we must find balance if we want to succeed.

It seems everyone has an idea of what we should do with our lives. Some think we should do one thing, others think we should do something entirely different. If we listen to everyone’s opinion it can be confusing, but we determine how we’ll live our lives. We’re responsible for every success. We know our desires and our limitations better than anyone else. If we take the time to think about what we really want to achieve, and then realistically make a plan to obtain it, we can succeed. There is no race. There is no time limit. We don’t have to do it all in one day. We can do it the way that works best for us. Every step we take closer to the goal teaches us something new. We can adjust as we move along. We can change our plans if need be, and we can overcome every obstacle. There isn’t anything we can’t do. We know who we are and we are smart enough to create the best plan going forward.

Today if you’ve been trying to accomplish something and you keep stumbling, perhaps you need a more realistic approach. Think about your time constraints, consider your physical abilities, and modify your plan going forward so you can succeed. You have everything you need. Take it one step at a time and you’ll get there.

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